How are you coping today?

[ColdandLonelyinAK]

Someone has got to talk me out of texting him.

 

It's been 51 days since the breakup and I'm doing better every day. I haven't looked at his social media once. I haven't done anything crazy. As far as he knows, I'm off having a wonderful life without him, and for the most part, he'd be right. I got a new hairstyle, signed up for a sushi making class and am in the process of patching things up with an old friend.

 

But I still miss him. Especially at night. That's when we would be talking for hours on end.

 

He broke NC twice in the first few weeks following the breakup. I didn't respond or even read his messages.

 

As expected, ever since he went "Facebook Official" with a mutual acquaintance of ours, there has been no contact from him at all.

 

I always told myself that he would have to be the first to make contact because I sure as hell wasn't going to do it. I'm way too stubborn, and I'm not the desperate type and I refuse to chase after someone who doesn't want me.

 

Then why am I so tempted to contact him?

 

Sushi making class. Sounds so fun!!!

 

You mentioned patching things up with a friend: don't breakups make you realize the importance of friendships? I patched up 3 friendships I lost during my relationship, and it felt amazing.

 

You are doing really good if you won't even read his messages when he sends them. It's natural to want to contact, but think of all the progress you've made. You'll have to start NC all over again if you break it. Just remember that.

[Gwwm123]

Yesterday and today were pretty bad, I am thinking of her and getting this pounding feeling in my chest. Her image appears in my head and the pain returns, I cant forget her, I just cant, I need her to love me so so bad. I don't want anyone else I want her and her only!

 

Well its gonna suck today.

[StrangerThanFiction]

I can't believe how different I felt today compared to yesterday. Yesterday I was a total mess and even had a few suicidal thoughts, I hate to admit. But today...today I felt at peace with a huge sense of relief. I felt almost normal except for a few twinges of sadness throughout the day. In fact, he wasn't the foremost thing in my mind for a large portion of it. It may not seem like a big deal to anyone else, but to me that's progress.

 

Today is day 6 since the BU and day 3 of NC. I didn't think it would be possible to feel so much better so soon after a terrible BU like we had and the fact that we had been together for 7 years (more or less), but then I got to thinking. We broke up last September. There had been NC for about 5 months after that until we started talking again back in Feb/March. By that 5 month mark I was happy again and had come to accept the fact that he was never going to be in my life again and that I had meant nothing to him and I was okay with it. He barely even entered my thoughts anymore and it had started to feel like our entire relationship had happened to someone else. I was content with my life and was looking forward to what the future had in store for me. Then he texted me out of the blue one day and I stupidly responded and he gave me the sob story of how ****ty his life had been since we broke up. We ended up getting back together, he moved back in until 3 days ago and the rest is history.

 

I think the reasons I felt pretty good today were that we had only been back together for 2-3 months, I felt in my heart that it wasn't going to last so I didn't fully commit myself to it, and my heart remembered that I had survived and even thrived without him for those 5 months of NC. That, and the fact that I finally have the proof I always needed that he's a chronic cheater combined with the fact that he hurt me badly physically and emotionally has left no doubt in my mind that I am so much better off without him and that there is no chance of there ever being any sort of future with him that doesn't involve me most likely getting an STD from him and his wayward **** and/or him ending up putting me in the hospital. There are no more questions, no more what-ifs, no more shoulda-woulda-couldas. Everything is in the black and white that I needed to finally put him in the past where I should've left him.

 

I know that there will be bad days still, that that is just part of the healing process, but having a day like today has shown me that the pain and sadness I have felt and will feel again will not last forever and that one day I will be completely past the maelstom of bullsh*t that surrounded our relationship.

 

I can do this.

[Zetec]

I have been doing so well this last week - hardly thought about her at all and haven't felt the need to come on here as much.

 

Then today, for some reason I woke up and she was on my mind. Nothing has triggered this (I haven't bumped into her/spoken/looked at her social media).

 

I miss her today, and feel sad.

 

Going to be a long weekend!

[biggles6087]

Tough for me today broke up with my girlfriend who i was dating for two month we were friends before that for 7 months she dumped me yesterday after I supported her through some tough times.Its my birthday 2morrow and we had planned a weekend together not happening now I'm already missing her something rotten, going to be tough tommorrow.

[OldRover]

Keep up the good work folks. No one likes the pain of a breakup, but if it has to be, stay strong, healthy and keep busy. Date, get laid, talk to your good friends, whatever takes your mind off.

 

Best of luck to all.... I'm there and making progress well.

[Jonp219]

How am I suppose to go my whole life without speaking to you again? Like Wtf, the summer was always our time and now I have to spend it alone. I wish I could just find the courage to just off myself.

 

I hope you get a boyfriend who beats you everyday. I hope you get into another car accident and this time it's fatal. Its either you come back to me or I hope your stupid ass dies. ****ing bitch.

 

But most likely it's going to be me who's going to end up dying.

Edited May 15, 2015 by Jonp219

[ASV]

Yesterday I seemed to do like hell, since I found out that she had defriended my friends (I wasn't on her list from long ago) and took that as a way of detaching completely from me - truth is that, in fact, she chatted sometimes with one of them since there were no hard feelings at all involved. Today I managed to get an unusual high when, thinking the other way round as my cruelest and most pessimist friend told me, got the idea that I'm not THAT worthless to her and still seeing them on their friend list kinda gave her feelings of loss and grief (taking in mind that she's not that kind of woman who defriends out of fun or boredom). Dunno, I'm not holding my hopes high and, in fact, I'm already having my back-to-reality moment in which she's still away and I'm remaining NC until further notice, but I really want to think that her mourning was kinda delayed and is finally taking place.

 

Anyway, I don't wish her any bad. I just want her to look what she's left behind, if not now, in some months or in a year, and realize that she needs more than sex, someone CARING for her as I did. But those are just weird assumptions. From now on I'm focusing on MYSELF more than ever in order to get her, or any woman who deserves it, the best version that anyone has known before.

[10yearsgoneaway]

Feeling ......not as crippled.

 

2 and a half months now. Yes I sort of keep track, because , well, I'm counting days because I'm told it gets better with time.

 

Anyway, Wednesday was a major trigger day. I still clean his fathers house, I have since his mother passed away.

 

But this time was different. Instead of feeling angry or hurt or awkward, I felt....just very sad. I sat for a few minutes and cried. I had realized at this point, "we" were gone. I guess this is part of the acceptance phase. I'm not angry, or shocked, just sad, and miss him. A few days prior I stopped looking at any online photos, emails, anything.

 

I told myself I just can't take care of his fathers house any longer, and decided right there that was the last time.

 

I have been back at college for a second degree, but when he took my life away, I withdrew from the college since that was not something I could concentrate on while trying to find a job, house, and cope with heartache.

 

But for the last few days, I felt...lighter somehow. And yesterday re enrolled and registered classes for fall semester. I have a job, looking for an apartment..

 

There have even been hours - yes, whole hours! - where I was not thinking about him.

 

and when I do think about him, the knife in my heart does not feel as bad.

 

I will always know he does not think of me or miss me, after all, someone willing to let you go and leave you when you have nowhere else to go, shows little care. that was the toughest to cope with.

 

But, I now see how no contact really works. no pics, no visuals at all seems to really help. Images and memories in your mind fade slightly, but social media will keep it all fresh.

 

I know I will have more bad days and relapses and honestly may always miss him and care, but..I don't feel like walking into a freight train any longer

Edited May 16, 2015 by 10yearsgoneaway

[Zetec]

Woke up this morning feeling very lonely.

 

Loneliness is one of the worst feelings in the world. I feel so empty, and sad

 

Times like this, that I miss my ex, and how happy she made me.

[biggles6087]

Woke up this morning feeling very lonely.

 

Loneliness is one of the worst feelings in the world. I feel so empty, and sad

 

Times like this, that I miss my ex, and how happy she made me.

 

no how u feel mate my poor phone has gone quite here now myself and ex spoke from 0800 in the morning till 0200 at night having a good laugh and chatting about everything feels llike I lost a good friend to.

[brokengirl85]

Hello I'm not sure if this is the right place to vent but I didn't want to open a new thread, so please excuse me if this is not the right thread to write.

 

I'm almost 8 weeks no contact.

 

I'm feeling still confused this morning. Confused about his feelings. Why everything turned out so wrong. What happened he changed? One song was the beginning of the end. He asked me if I wanted to be in a relationship with him by text. I kept silent, omg I was so happy he asked me that! I replied 5 minutes later with a link to a song by DMB: you and me. He never replied that night.

Next day he was sour. He told me he didn't want people to expect anything from him. I said ok, that I didn't expect anything....

 

Well, that song. Him supposing I was expecting something he couldn't give me. At the end, I guess it was the lack of love what broke us apart. The lack of his love. There was more fear than love. Eventually, he'll find someone and he'll know it's the one. I wasn't.

 

And I guess it's not confusion what I feel, because I now know the truth. I'm just sad things didn't turn out the way I wanted. Just very sad. I wish I could wake up from this horrible, infinite nightmare.

[OldRover]

I'm coping reasonably well. Break up was about 6 weeks ago, but we both knew it would be hard to make things work, as we had a few major differences that we just couldn't get solved. The issues were apparent several years earlier when we were just friends, but as we became closer they got worse. Should have been a red flag. However, we did have some fabulous times together... which I'm sure we'll both miss.

 

Neither one of us want's the other back, but were both in love on the day we split. I have a bit more trouble that she does, as she wasted no time in getting back into the dating world.... like one day. I know she was looking for a rebound, but perhaps that helps her. I can't care about her anymore, but do. In time it will totally end. Day by day and I fortunately have excellent support.

 

We will all survive.

[StrangerThanFiction]

So far this morning I'm feeling a bit sad and melancholy. I can't decide if it's because of my ex or just the dregs of a hangover from when I drank on Sunday. It's day 10 since BU and day 7 of NC. I hope this is just a minor setback and I'll feel better tomorrow. I have him blocked from my phone so I don't have to be anxious about him texting me at least. I'm so ready to be totally over this, just wish my heart would catch up with my mind. I don't want him back, but I've been thinking about all the crap he did to me and it's making me feel bad about myself and I hurt all over again. I'll try not to think about it and hope I'll feel better by the end of the day. I just bought five new books that I'm really looking forward to reading when I get home from work, so at least I have something positive to look forward to tonight. Just wish I'd stop hurting already. Sigh.

[Zetec]

Never going to forgive myself for being an idiot and looking at her Instagram for the first time in 3 months.

 

I saw something that I didn't want to see and now I am paying the price. Now, no matter what I do I have that picture of you and him in my head. I knew you were together but seeing a picture of you both for the first time was a real kick in the balls (and just as painful)

 

This is a mistake I will live to regret for a long time I think. I hate myself some times. Why did I do it

[TunaCat]

Haven't posted here in a few days.

 

I'm doing awesome. I literally never think of him and it's so freeing to FINALLY be feeling so upbeat.

 

I'm not dating yet, but hoping to change that soon.

[Gwwm123]

I wish I never meet her, without her everything in my life so colorless, nothing fills me up with joy, absolutely nothing.

 

 

Lonely life ahead of me, if I cant have her I don't want anyone else. I love her so so much.

[Gwwm123]

Never going to forgive myself for being an idiot and looking at her Instagram for the first time in 3 months.

 

I saw something that I didn't want to see and now I am paying the price. Now, no matter what I do I have that picture of you and him in my head. I knew you were together but seeing a picture of you both for the first time was a real kick in the balls (and just as painful)

 

This is a mistake I will live to regret for a long time I think. I hate myself some times. Why did I do it

 

Hang in there bud, I know how it feels, I did the same a few days ago and I am walking away from square one.

 

Its a pain that compresses your chest, as if your heart is shriveling. The future just seems tasteless without her in it.

 

We are treading the same yellow brick road.

[StrangerThanFiction]

Today ended better than it started so I'm pretty sure it was just a lingering hangover that had me feeling a bit down. A buddy stopped by after I got home from work and suprised me with cheeseburgers, ice cream, and scary stories. All three of those things being high up on my top 10 favorite things of all time list. My friends kick some serious ass

[RoseHeart]

Its been 2 days now since I last saw my ex. I'm still feeling really good and I actually surprisingly don't feel the need to stalk him online anymore I have wondered if he will text me again though considering how our last conversation went (we mentioned meeting again roughly) but I know that him being the shy, insecure guy he is he probably won't initiate considering as to how I was the one kind ended it (although I was forced). With that said I do not feel the need to see him again right now at all. I was worried that I might but it all seems too much effort and work and for what benefit? Cool so now I see him again and we go out and now what? He hasn't changed. He's still the same person. Why would he want something else now?

 

I feel comforted in the sense that I know now we have no hard feelings and we can talk like normal people with one another. Those few last hugs he gave me was probably the most comforting thing I've felt in a long long time for some reason. I know it's not because he likes me or wants me back. I felt like he did that more out of a friendly "it's OK" way and that was really soothing for me.

 

I'm ready to meet the right guy for me. I don't want to be with him and I realized this yesterday and today again. He doesn't have all the attributes I want and my mr right is still on his way

[biggles6087]

Day two since I last spoke to her not to bad now still a small abit upset but I laid it on the line first time ever I put my foot down with a girl I really like I know it was hard but had to be done but I'm not going to be treated like a fool never again.

[TrevorDia]

Today marks 1 month since I last spoke to her. Yep, 20th Feb to 20th March.

 

Honestly, I didn't think I could go without her. I mean, you spend the last 4 years speaking to someone all day every day, and going from that to nothing is painful, but I think the worst is over now. Yeah, I still miss her, yeah, I still love her, but I'm starting to cope on my own. I think I'm more or less in a place where I can move on and be happy... I hope

 

Thank you to the community here at LoveShack, this has proven to be a very useful tool in my healing process

[ColdandLonelyinAK]

Not good. Woke up in tears today. First time I've cried in almost a week. I don't know what's wrong with me. I'll be good for a few days and then bam, tears. I wish there could be some magic button I could push to get over all this. I'm tired of being so all over the place with my emotions, wanting to talk to him and not being motivated to do anything. I think him telling me a few nights ago that he still loves me messed with my head. I just want to be back to normal, but each morning I wake up and he's not here is a struggle.

[TunaCat]

God, I hate being single. I am so, so mad that he was able to move on and meet someone within 3 weeks of our breakup.

 

I want to find someone so badly. It's not easy when you're not a "smokin' hottie" I'm not considered attractive by society's standards, but I have a fabulous personality.

 

I miss being in a relationship.

[Tone Loc]

On a scale of one to ten, I'm doing just fine. Music helps so much. It also helps not having any means whatsoever to contact the ex. Even if I wanted to, it would not be possible. Taking it easy, a day at a time.