How are you coping today?

[Familia]

So after close to two months no contact and me deleting her number, I got a call from a number during work hours that I did not recognise in the heat of the moment - it was her

 

She said this is strictly business, I am trading my car in for a new car would you like to buy my old one. short enough conversation

 

Simple conversation although I feel like I am back at square one again, Wound is open again and I am hurting so badly

[ephemeralme]

Now into 8 days of Non-Contact, and I absolutely hate it.

 

Removed her from everything, deleted her number - and because it's some crazy foreign number, it's not imprinted on my mind; removed her from Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Whatsapp; pretty much everything I had her on.

 

Went to work, had a pretty strong case and performed well - only thought about her a few times over the course of the day and I thought things were going well.

 

So I load up Facebook when I get home and my friend has sent me a message saying "Don't check her profile, I'm begging you".

- Her and her new boyfriend have gone "public", and to make it worse, her once private FB profile is wide open for all the world to see (just like her legs). They're both so happy and in love. It makes me sick. I hate her. I love her. I don't see why people like her don't get their comeuppance. Why does everything work out well for people like that?

 

Anyway, I punched through my laptop screen, so now that's laying there on the floor, and now I'm just sat here feeling sorry for myself - cos there sure as hell ain't nobody else who's gonna do it. It's just turned midnight and I think it's time to open the bottle of vodka.

 

It isn't fair that it's the people who get hurt who have to endure the suffering. I just wish she had to go through just one day of what I go through every day.

 

Anyway, here's to hoping it can only get better from here

 

 

 

sorry, some people truly live the life of peacocks.... flashing their feathers for attention.

 

 

cheers - vodka,

here's to suffering ....together. ( at least here)

[ephemeralme]

I effen want to slash his tires, send him a dog poop bomb, call him and blast an air horn

AND.. scream my rage out at him

 

 

feeling sooooo hateful of him

 

 

( which is so strange since I have so loved him )

 

 

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

[jalapeno86]

You know, I can't even read everyone else's posts right now. I've been doing so well, so I'm actually scared that by reading about all the pain everyone is going through I might bring up old feelings.

 

Yeah, I'm hurt. Tonight it was almost hard to go to bed alone. I've been dating around, I know it's been only 2 weeks since the break up. But, we used to ALWAYS get back together. This past year we spent together felt like a constant break up.

 

The ****ed up thing is that I would still take her back. I just would give me left leg to never have to fight with her again.

 

She sent me some random snapchats that seemed friendly at best...

I did check them. Then I deleted and re-downloaded snapchat like 12 times. I'll never engage with her though.

 

I'm kind of lost. Well, one thing is good. I can still meet women. I just don't know if I'll ever take a girl seriously until I can find one that really fits... whatever that means.

 

School and work are improving. Thank god. So, that's what I'm going to focus on. Which is what I should've focused on all along.

 

Maybe one day she'll come back around... which while I was dating her (she'd talk to ex's {especially while we fought}), so I'm sure she's going to come texting...

 

She sent an email saying she'd want to talk after time has past. I'm not sure who she is, or what she wants, or why she acts the way she does. I'm almost to exhausted to try and figure it out. All I know is this, if she makes it any difficult for us to be together, than she's not mine. So, she's not. I can't wait until I get completely over her, because I guarantee I know she'll come around and I'll be all butt-hurt when she disappears again.

 

Or, you know what she's doing? Maybe or maybe not, she's probably trying to get me to chase her again. I mean, that's the game, right? That's almost how every girl I've gone after has ended up with me, but I think that this time I know better. That, if I do engage it could really **** things up for me.

 

I just don't have the energy to be hurt anymore.

 

I mean, I hope you guys get it. My life really ****ing fell apart. I drank like a mother****er for almost a week straight. No bueno.

 

Anyways, I'm learning to see life like I should. This is your dream world. Everything you see is you. How can you be mad at a girl you met in your dream? Have you ever had a dream so vivid about a certain girl? I bet it was also easy for that girl to represent or change into someone else. Maybe, that's how life work's too.

 

Overall, I think my biggest lesson in this is pursuing my career goals and learning how not be so defensive. Good luck to all you guys. 2 weeks ago I was having an emotional meltdown every 10 minutes. Today, I was able to sleep without drugs, alcohol, or other women. It feels good to be myself again.

Edited April 29, 2015 by jalapeno86

[ASV]

Could it be that solely physical details hold me back?

Am I really that shallow and pointless as I feared?

Today I kinda feel like I could move on without her. But as I'm typing this I feel that in some hours the feeling of loss will be back.

 

And the breasts won't.

 

Here I am wide open, surrendering to your side.

I have laid down my armour, I have no sword at my side.

I leave behind me the ruins of the fortress I swore to defend;

I leave behind me foundations; I'll leave you a man I'll need you to mend.

And through all the battles around me

I never believed I would fight.

Yet here I stand, a broken soldier,

shivering and naked, in your winter light.

[Calidude6]

I'm in the process of NC, it's almost been about a month but we broke up about 2.5 months ago. I actually can kind of tell the feelings and what's involved is fading away but part of me doesn't want it to fade away. I don't want to lose what I have for her but when the pain reached its max, all it can do is start to fade. This girl, my best friend, my partner and the one I want truly want is young and implies about a possible future but doesn't know so I do keep a little hope. I wouldn't mind starting a new relationship with her down the road. I do miss her like crazy, I want to fight for her but it's probably best to NC her so I don't smother her and give her the freedom she might need.

 

It just sucks that I'm starting to lose a little bit for her and that's a good thing but I just didn't want to. It's okay, life will take its course and if we run into then great it was meant for us to get stronger to make our relationship strong. We shall see.

[Throldur]

I have good days and bad.

 

Past few days I've distracted myself as best I could but they've been bad days. I'm doing what I can to improve myself even though I feel like it will yield fruitless results. I'm going to try to fix my internal thought process as we know confidence is huge.. I just don't have it right now.

 

That desire to want to fight for her, to want something to happen to bring her back to me, it's raging in me again, I need to let it go. But it comes in waves and right now, I'm at the peak of a tidal wave.

 

How can someone be everything you ever wanted and you be the same to them, only to see them run away the first time things on YOUR end get tough, then completely abandon everything to be with someone who is NOTHING like them? I guess it truly is a rebound but its the weirdest rebound of all time considering she moved away to achieve it. I'll never understand, I've stopped trying to, it's GIGS but that doesn't give me any solace.

 

I just keep telling myself.. the love was real, it was deep, no love will compare, so she will have to realize it and come to rectify her mistake but it will take time, and in that time, I have to not wait but keep pushing forward to see what other possibilities and opportunities are out there because someone who gives up does not deserve you waiting for them, they will know the pain if they return and I've moved on. I'm trying to move on. I'm wanting her back.

 

She either comes back more mature and we work it out or I find someone else. These are the only two outcomes I keep telling myself.

[Zetec]

I would love to meet a girl who makes me feel confident and attractive again, just like you did.

 

Right now my confidence is at an all time low

 

Probably doesn't help that the guy you left me for is much more attractive than me. You traded in the Ford and drove away with a Mercedes.

 

It hurts when I look in the mirror and hate what I see.

[Itspointless]

Forgetting you seems impossible. I just wish I could forget.

[Esraem]

I signed up to go back to school. I really need to finish a degree to be there for my daughter. Otherwise anyone want to go with me to Detroit to slash a couple of tires or egg a house?

[ApexTitanium]

I signed up to go back to school. I really need to finish a degree to be there for my daughter. Otherwise anyone want to go with me to Detroit to slash a couple of tires or egg a house?

 

I live 20 min from detroit, count me in.

[na49]

Does anyone else get really depressed about the warm weather? It has got me feeling so sad. Instead of enjoying it, I am sad that she will be dressed in cute outfits that she used to wear for me, and her new guy is the one who gets to enjoy her in them.

 

This summer is going to be the worst of my life. Even with all that I have to look forward to.

[Gloria25]

Can't believe I put a "nobody" on a pedestal and wasted so much energy into their childish and sick tendencies.

 

What does that say about me to lower myself to desire a "nobody"?

 

I guess I'm more like my mother than I thought...

 

I think that this lapse in attraction to a nobody is linked to the drop in my career and livelyhood over the past couple of years. I'm in a crappy job, trying to get my career and past standard of living back on track, so I guess in this low point of my life I believe I can't do better than a nobody?

 

The "me" that first time exchanged words with him told me that something wasn't right. No wonder why it took me a while to approach him..."something", my intiution was telling me "nah". I should have trusted my intuition. It has kept me safe all these years.

 

Lol, reminds me of my relative's dog. The first time she met my little boy, she got on her hind legs and was scratching at his face...mind you, she is barely 7lbs and he was like 50 lbs...But you see, her instinct kicked in...and she's right. He's a little troublemaker. My other dog didn't take kind to him either. When I first got him home, they got in horrible fights...But, he was sneaky and mean...he has and still steals her food, bed, etc. She could smell something on him wasn't cool.

 

Well, I guess loneliness pushed me into ignoring my intuition and I've learned so much about him that quite frankly disgusts me...but why did I keep on making excuses? Am I "that" lonely?

 

Hurts you know, its so hard for me to trust and I opened up myself here and in real life to get used and heart trampled on. Fine. I'm a tough gal....this shall pass

 

Next time my instinct will be respected, honored, and obeyed.

[Gloria25]

I'm ashamed that my seething anger is resulting in me being nasty on the board...

 

I'm just so angry at him I wanna swing back and hurt him the way I'm hurting...

 

I don't know, since mid last year I returned to LS to post about a guy I started chatting up in real life and then the "hydra" (who I believe is him) reached out to me and I got mixed up in thinking he liked me, probably was shy or something and if I only took the time to give him a chance, I could land a decent guy.

 

Well, I was wrong. He has an SO and just used my blind attraction to him to raise his self-esteem/ego and treat her better.

 

I recently just found out more confirmation that he has ZERO interest in me (an had zero interest all along) and it is hitting me like a ton of bricks.

 

It hurts so much cuz I fooled myself all this time. What? Limenernce they call it? But, I think he also had a role in me making a fool out of myself.

[TunaCat]

I think things are getting both easier & harder if that makes any sense at all.

 

It was a weird epiphany I had while I was out today.

 

Easier because I don't check my phone 800 times a day and I miss him less and less every day.

 

Harder because every day that passes is another day that he hasn't initiated contact (although he has a girlfriend now so I don't see him initiating contact for awhile)

 

I still miss him, but I'm missing the friendship that our relationship was started from. We've been best friends since we were kids. We've seen each other through a lot.

 

Now that there's a family thing going on in my family, I just want to text him and tell him about it.

 

When he dumped me, I not only lost a boyfriend (who claimed he wanted to marry me) but also my lifelong best friend.

 

I'm struggling tonight.

[Familia]

TunaCat

 

My situation is the similar the loss of a best friend and a partner whom claimed wanted to get married and have children together, only to move on and is with someone else now, so do not expect any contact

 

It hurts, I am hurting

[Zetec]

Does anyone else get really depressed about the warm weather? It has got me feeling so sad. Instead of enjoying it, I am sad that she will be dressed in cute outfits that she used to wear for me, and her new guy is the one who gets to enjoy her in them.

 

This summer is going to be the worst of my life. Even with all that I have to look forward to.

 

Exactly the same here man, Sucks doesn't it.

[Throldur]

I feel so much like this song "Atlantis" by Ellie Goulding..

 

"I'm exhausted with loving,

No fight in me-I'm defeated

I know I'm fooled, I can't help it,

You make my heart so helpless.

I'll forget you not,

I'll forget you not,

I'll wait for you, for you, maybe..

Where did you go?"

[TrevorDia]

11 days without my best friend.

 

I'd been having a fairly good day, got some exercise done, got some work done, even helped out a charity for a bit. I no longer check for a message from her all the time, and I think I'm starting to think about her a little less every day.

 

Last night was hard though, I thought I'd blocked her from Instagram - but it turns out I'd removed her, but she was still following me, and she randomly liked a pic I'd posted and all of a sudden I couldn't get her out of my head.

 

14 days is the longest I've ever been without her - but then, I've never said a proper goodbye before, and this time I did.

 

The thing is, Monday (May 4th) is a certain anniversary of ours - it's also going to be 2 weeks without her, and that day is going to suuuuuuuuck.

 

It might seem strange, but I think messaging on here is helping me to stay away from her.

 

Is there ever going to be a day when I stop loving her?

[Throldur]

It's been so long. I've come a long way. I'm still not happy. I don't want this situation. I didn't want this outcome. But, here I am. Trying to survive, improve and trying to thrive.

[ASV]

Some minutes ago I felt a terrible urge to break NC. Haven't experienced it since BU. Not a single time. And now the feeling that she's gone for good makes me want to reach out. I know I won't, but for a moment I've doubted it and felt terrified. This nightmare doesn't seem to end.

[Gwwm123]

Does anyone else get really depressed about the warm weather? It has got me feeling so sad. Instead of enjoying it, I am sad that she will be dressed in cute outfits that she used to wear for me, and her new guy is the one who gets to enjoy her in them.

 

This summer is going to be the worst of my life. Even with all that I have to look forward to.

 

I live in a warm state, for me its the opposite weather that gets me sad, the cold makes me want to cuddle up in bed with her eventhough I never did.

 

Hang in there man, I know how you are feeling, having them put all those nice clothes just for you, for you to enjoy. Go to the gym and practice sports that has helped me greatly, it hasnt healed my pain but it is certainly accelarated the process.

[TunaCat]

I'm doing well tonight.

 

In the first few weeks I was 95% positive that he would contact me for a reconciliation and I was 100% sure that I'd say yes, I want to work on the relationship.

 

Now, as I head into my 6th week of NC, I'm somewhere around 40% positive that he'll contact me and I'm about 50% sure I'd want to work on the relationship if he contacted me.

 

It may not sound like much progress to some of you, but I feel like I've made a lot of progress.

[DJOkawari]

Not sure exactly how long I've been in NC. It hasn't been too long, not quite 6 weeks I think.

 

Can't remember exactly what I'm missing, but there is no reprieve from the thought that I'm missing something. You could ask me in the middle of any activity, you could wake me in the middle of the night and I'd tell you that flat out. That is misery #1.

 

People say I could wait this feeling out. I'm not sure if I can. There is a compounding feeling as well. I'm not happy with myself at all - not with my mind, body, or "soul". I alternate between these two miseries.

 

 

 

The first is important because it uncovered the second. The second is important because it leads to progress. I have a big mirror in my place and I've written to remind myself:

 

"Man cannot remake himself without suffering, for he is both the marble and the sculptor." - Alexis Carrel

 

My friends think I've gone absolutely nuts. I comfort them by telling them it's a phase, but I don't deny it. Everyone posting in this thread has to agree, there is something pleasant about all of this, right? We're hurting but in a positive way. It's kind of nice to know things can only get better.

Edited May 2, 2015 by DJOkawari

[ASV]

Starting to feel I'm immune to NC's magical powers and that I won't be able to truly move on. Meanwhile, she has plenty of time to do so freely and I'd put my finger that she doesn't even think of me anymore.