Jonp219 Posted April 13, 2015 Posted April 13, 2015 It's a sign I can be attracted to other girls, even more so than my ex-girlfriend, that's for sure. But, let's be honest, girls like that are very rarely single.. it's gotta be right place, right time, right things to say/look like.. I realize how lucky I was with my ex girlfriend. I curse any little thing I ever did wrong, wish she never did what she did, though. If she comes back or I get someone new. I will literally not make one ****ing mistake, I swear. Bro you're only human lol I feel the same way you fee,l but I know I'm going to make mistakes, it happens. And every time you get with someone special you're always going to assume that fate brought you together when really you can that about anyone. Don't be too hard on yourself, see what you have to offer as a product being distributed by business. Figure out, "how am I going to improve on myself so that I can attract the people I want to attract into my life"? That's the way I look at it, (also because I'm a business major) and it helps me gain back perspective sometimes. But I also know that Apple, Google, Starbucks, and Tesla didn't get to where they're at now in one day. It takes time to develop of valuable niche.
Throldur Posted April 13, 2015 Posted April 13, 2015 Bro you're only human lol I feel the same way you fee,l but I know I'm going to make mistakes, it happens. And every time you get with someone special you're always going to assume that fate brought you together when really you can that about anyone. Don't be too hard on yourself, see what you have to offer as a product being distributed by business. Figure out, "how am I going to improve on myself so that I can attract the people I want to attract into my life"? That's the way I look at it, (also because I'm a business major) and it helps me gain back perspective sometimes. But I also know that Apple, Google, Starbucks, and Tesla didn't get to where they're at now in one day. It takes time to develop of valuable niche. I think fate did bring us together. It's stupid but we were in the same course in University for 4 years. I didn't get into ONE of her classes until her final semester where we were in 2 together. Her roommate moved out and she told me later she would have never been able to have a date with me there like we did if her roommate was still there. We also met literally a week after I had the worst date of my life. This girl that I went with made me feel like the ugliest, most disgusting person on the planet. I went home and told my mom, I'm done, I'm not focusing on dating anymore. I'm just gonna get my career and **** together, then I'll think about it but I'm just so done with this. Then I saw my ex in the class, thought I could never get her, she would have a boyfriend (they all do!), and she liked me too. Got together and things were perfect until she went crazy and moved away, leaving everyone and everything she had in life behind.. I really don't know how else to improve myself.. I'm a great drummer who has played live shows around here before and recorded demos. I always wanted to play ice hockey as a goaltender, taught myself how to skate at 20 years old, taught myself how to play the position, and now I'm 1 win away from winning the championship and beating out every person in the league that got to play when they were younger, had coaching, development. I go to the gym and I've got a decent body because of it, not bad for an ectomorph. I have a brand new car. I write and I've had some of my stuff published. The only thing left is to go to this Human Resources course in September, get a place of my own and start my career. Then once that comes, the only thing missing will be the girl.. and that girl is somewhere else, she should be here with me building it together.. That's why I feel lost. The best version of me got this girl but it also lost this girl. Now, I'm the best version of myself and I can't attract anyone, or find anyone of quality single, then if I do that, will they want me too? Frustrating and overwhelming. Leaving it to fate is very very difficult to do.. There's really only four options, the ex and I are meant to be, the lessons in our relationship were learned, the lessons out of our relationship were learned, and she comes back... There's someone else I'm supposed to be with... or I'm one of those few who never meets anyone.. or I get so tired of being lonely that I just settle..
Throldur Posted April 14, 2015 Posted April 14, 2015 I don't have the patience to see this through.. I hate sitting here with this huge hole in my life, the flash flood of memories coming in showing me everything I had that I always wanted and now this huge emptiness just weighs on my shoulders, in my chest.. I don't understand this. I don't want this emptiness anymore.
TunaCat Posted April 14, 2015 Posted April 14, 2015 Guess whose ex just tossed her a breadcrumb? Yup, mine. Needless to say I'm so pissed off with him.
Throldur Posted April 14, 2015 Posted April 14, 2015 Guess whose ex just tossed her a breadcrumb? Yup, mine. Needless to say I'm so pissed off with him. I think at this point I'd be excited for a breadcrumb.. What did he do?
TunaCat Posted April 14, 2015 Posted April 14, 2015 I think at this point I'd be excited for a breadcrumb.. What did he do? He sent me a FB message. I only saw the first line of it before I deleted it. It said that he was thinking of a friend of mine who has a very sick boy in the hospital & and that he'd been following my posts on the child. I guess that answers my question of whether or not he's still thinking of me.
Throldur Posted April 14, 2015 Posted April 14, 2015 He sent me a FB message. I only saw the first line of it before I deleted it. It said that he was thinking of a friend of mine who has a very sick boy in the hospital & and that he'd been following my posts on the child. I guess that answers my question of whether or not he's still thinking of me. You know you can block him from FB, right? I know this cause my ex blocked me from FB.. I have no idea why, as I had deleted her off mine.. but it was done. So the only way you can get a message from him on there.. is if you unblock him.
TunaCat Posted April 14, 2015 Posted April 14, 2015 You know you can block him from FB, right? I know this cause my ex blocked me from FB.. I have no idea why, as I had deleted her off mine.. but it was done. So the only way you can get a message from him on there.. is if you unblock him. I hadn't blocked him yet. I really was hoping it wouldn't come to that. I think I am going to have to do it though. I had done everything but blocking him on FB.
TunaCat Posted April 14, 2015 Posted April 14, 2015 Ironically enough I just found out that he's dating a mutual friend of ours. Amazing how much better I feel.
minimariah Posted April 15, 2015 Posted April 15, 2015 Ironically enough I just found out that he's dating a mutual friend of ours. Amazing how much better I feel. block him & keep the NC. did he contact you before this? he's definitely throwing you breadcrumbs and i'm glad you see it for what it is. you're super strong! keep going, just keep going. 1
ASV Posted April 15, 2015 Posted April 15, 2015 For the first time since BU I felt for a moment that I could live knowning that she's making out with another dude. Shortly after I thought how terribly wrong I was and how much I miss her. It's strange how I rarely felt jealousy while she was with me but how jealous I am now that she's gone. Not that I reflected that I didn't care for her - in fact she got quite the idea that I certainly did. I think I'm unable to love her separately, without seeing her possessively, and now that I cannot have her I'm struggling a lot with the idea that others could. And, once again, the total lack of breadcrumbs since birthday seem to tell me that she's finally moved over and won't be able to get her back again, for each days it feels like a half-year-daydream that hasn't ever occured in real life.
Throldur Posted April 15, 2015 Posted April 15, 2015 I don't want this anymore. I don't want to be the third wheel again. I don't want to look around and see all the girls with their boyfriends. I dont want to see all the pretty girls that I can't have.. I don't want to have to compare myself to every guy out there and see where I am lacking in looks as to why I won't be successful with women. I did my time in loneliness. In celebrating things alone. In going to events alone. I found my girl and she should still be with me. Why the **** did things turn out the way that they did? I'm a good man. I dont deserve this anymore. Just put an end to this **** for me... bring her back or bring someone new into my life, even for a brief period of time to show me that I can find someone and have success again cause right now I feel like I'm deadin the water waiting for my life to end..
Zetec Posted April 15, 2015 Posted April 15, 2015 I don't want this anymore. I don't want to be the third wheel again. I don't want to look around and see all the girls with their boyfriends. I dont want to see all the pretty girls that I can't have.. I don't want to have to compare myself to every guy out there and see where I am lacking in looks as to why I won't be successful with women. I did my time in loneliness. In celebrating things alone. In going to events alone. I found my girl and she should still be with me. Why the **** did things turn out the way that they did? I'm a good man. I dont deserve this anymore. Just put an end to this **** for me... bring her back or bring someone new into my life, even for a brief period of time to show me that I can find someone and have success again cause right now I feel like I'm deadin the water waiting for my life to end.. I feel your pain man. I am going through exactly the same thing right now - honestly your post is exactly what I was going to write. I too am lonely, I too have tried to find happiness in doing things alone, I too miss my girl and feeling so happy I too am comparing myself to other guys and feeling unattractive, I too worry that I will not meet anyone else (in 3 months of being single not one girl has shown interest). Just know that you are not alone. C'mon, we will get through this. I don't know you, and you don't know me, but just think that there is a guy out there going through exactly the same thing as you. We will be happy again. That right person will come along when we least expect it. Keep your chin up, that's what I'm trying to do. 1
ApexTitanium Posted April 15, 2015 Posted April 15, 2015 We went out today, and you wore the dress I bought you recently with high heels. I dont know if you were trying to look nice for me, or if you actually had that pesentation at school, I mean why would you even tell me you were dressed up for me? I know you got home an hour before I picked you up, why didn't you change your clothes? You looked so amazing.....like very damn amazing and it hit me like a freight train. I cried the whole way home after I dropped you off. You asked me if I still lived at home and I told you I moved in with one of my female friends. I know it upset you even though you didn't show it. Especially with your "moving in with a girl on me eh" remark. You mentioned that you were "fond" of me and if anything happened you would be upset. Even cracked a....joke? I guess...of having to call off work to attend my funeral. I just wish you would say "I love you" one more time. Wish you would notice how much you mean to me....wish you would give me another chance.... I still love you. Not doing well....of course I'm never really doing well.
Throldur Posted April 16, 2015 Posted April 16, 2015 I feel your pain man. I am going through exactly the same thing right now - honestly your post is exactly what I was going to write. I too am lonely, I too have tried to find happiness in doing things alone, I too miss my girl and feeling so happy I too am comparing myself to other guys and feeling unattractive, I too worry that I will not meet anyone else (in 3 months of being single not one girl has shown interest). Just know that you are not alone. C'mon, we will get through this. I don't know you, and you don't know me, but just think that there is a guy out there going through exactly the same thing as you. We will be happy again. That right person will come along when we least expect it. Keep your chin up, that's what I'm trying to do. Funny, I just read your post in the other thread and it sounds like your ex did the same thing to you that mine did to me..
TunaCat Posted April 16, 2015 Posted April 16, 2015 block him & keep the NC. did he contact you before this? he's definitely throwing you breadcrumbs and i'm glad you see it for what it is. you're super strong! keep going, just keep going. Yes, he had contacted me once by text (before I blocked his number) and twice through FB message.
SheleftmeforMichael Posted April 16, 2015 Posted April 16, 2015 A mutual friend (I work with the guy) of my ex who is also my ex's roommate called me tonight in celebration in the potential of finding someone new who seemed to be just as interested in him as he was to her. He too had gone through a failed relationship around the same time as I and I was happy and encouraging for the guy as he told me the story of how they met / first encounter...when I made the fatal mistake of asking of what his roommate thought and what she said (my ex)...to which he told she went out to a concert (most likely with the guy she left me for) and wasn't around. I didn't get much more info than that, but it was enough to open up some feelings and make me thing of the break up and the past. I remembered that she's always wanted to do things like that (go to concert) which I was too busy with work to accommodate that wish. I imagined she is having the time of her life/happy at that concert with that new guy and has since forgotten about me. I shouldn't have asked that question and I had been good about not asking about her around my mutual friend until tonight. I don't think he even realized how hurt I was feeling but that's okay. I'm feeling pretty down tonight about it but its a reminder that while I accept that she's not coming back and that what we had is over...And I was doing so well until tonight...I still have allot of work to do in healing and getting over the past. Love can be such a double edged sword.
Zetec Posted April 16, 2015 Posted April 16, 2015 Struggling today. I dreamt about you last night. It was such a vibrant dream that it actually woke me up. That is quite impressive considering, the tablets I am currently taking, knock me out. Unfortunately for me, the dream was of you apologising, and asking me to come back. It was so clear in my dream it was almost real. Isn't that the most upsetting thing? Waking up and realising that it was just a dream
ASV Posted April 16, 2015 Posted April 16, 2015 Well, yesterday I seemed to do well. Now, as absurd as it sounds, I'm missing more than ever the sex with her. I was even considering screwing all the drama and just becoming ****friends, but I don't want to destroy all the mild interest I could have been generating during NC in spite of a quick fix. Anyway, I'm losing more and more hope each day.
Throldur Posted April 16, 2015 Posted April 16, 2015 Dreamt I was there in Ontario with her.. she had moved out of the Clowns place but had settled in nicely in a place of her own. I tried to get her to take me back but she wouldn't for even more insane reasons than before... woke up dejected.. I hate this.
ApexTitanium Posted April 16, 2015 Posted April 16, 2015 We hung out last night.....you called me "babe" on accident My heart sank.....the girl I live with now sent me a text and I noticed you looked over at my phone.....shortly after you had tears running down your face. You said your makeup got in your eye.....I know you were lying I saw my name in your phone with a broken heart next to it Why are you doing this
TunaCat Posted April 16, 2015 Posted April 16, 2015 (edited) Went in to have some bloodwork done and thankfully it was my favorite lab tech that did it so we could talk for a bit. I told her my ex dumped me out of the blue 3 weeks ago and the first thing she said was that he must have been up to no good. Then I told her how I found out a few days ago that he's dating a mutual friend of ours, and then she said "well there ya go" Talking to her was easy because she listened to me and didn't just roll her eyes and beg me to shut up about it. She promised me that there would come a time where I didn't want to punch him. Edited April 16, 2015 by TunaCat
thorin Posted April 16, 2015 Posted April 16, 2015 I still miss her like hell, and think about her all the time. But today I got a great job, finally, so I'll have less free time to think about her, and make some money, so it's getting better. I've had a job when I was with her, but I wasn't concentrating on it because of my ex, and eventually they fired me. This time I can concentrate on the job, and it's better paid than the previous one! 1
Throldur Posted April 17, 2015 Posted April 17, 2015 **** this. **** life. **** you. **** the universe. **** it all. I'm done. One month since you've moved away and you are living a miserable ****ing life but threw me away to achieve it. **** that.
Zetec Posted April 17, 2015 Posted April 17, 2015 I used to look forward to Fridays. I play football after work, and I would pick us up a KFC on the way home (that was our treat for the week ), you would ask me all about the match and how I played, we would finish dinner and then head off to see our friends at the pub and have a few drinks. I loved that pub. On the way home we would sing along to our favorite songs in the car, and make plans for the weekend. We'd get home, and cuddle up in bed watching a film. It was the perfect end to the week. Now, I get home on a Friday to an empty house, with nothing to do or look forward to. I have no friends. Literally I have no-one. I sit there, in silence, and know that you are out with your new guy, probably doing what we used to do. It kills me inside. I hate the weekends now. I dread finishing work on a Friday because I am so lonely. Days like this, that I feel it would be best to just end it all. I feel like I have nothing to live for anymore.
Recommended Posts