Lion Heart Posted March 28, 2015 Posted March 28, 2015 Very common. This happened to me too I think they do this to allow themselves to feel good about breaking up and ease any guilt. After all, why wouldn't they break up with a total jerkwad? But why would they let go of an awesome dude? So, you become the jerkwad no matter what... Alot of people do this during the relationship and after. Do a search for "Villification of the victim". Lion Heart.
BlackbirdSong Posted March 28, 2015 Posted March 28, 2015 7th Friday night in a row that I'm home feeling like a loser (good thing mma fights are on). I've really been missing her this past week. I really don't think I can see my life without her. She made everything better. This isn't getting any easier...
Cupid's Puppet Posted March 28, 2015 Posted March 28, 2015 My self esteem is low. I hate that I internalized his hateful thoughts of me. I thought my ex was so great. I thought I lost the best thing I ever had. But he said some awful things to me after the breakup and never apologized. He made me feel worthless and evil and it has taken months of therapy and load of cash to work these feelings off. I think my ex is the evil one. Despite all the flowery language he used months following the breakup, I remember all the nasty ones he used on me immediately following it. And I honestly don't think I deserved that treatment. And when someone you saw yourself being with the rest of your life tell you those things, how can you ever trust love again? How can you think that someone would fall in love with you when someone who spent 7 years with you didn't really want to be with you? Yeah, no... 2
smellysocksuni Posted March 28, 2015 Posted March 28, 2015 Not coping very well, today. Haven't slept tonight - it's now 7am or something here and I have been journaling all night which has helped me get my thoughts out, but not really helped my mood. I've been crying and I think I had some sort of panic attack, too. Written out a couple of draft emails that I almost sent - I didn't type her email address in, just in case I pressed 'send' in a moment of weakness. It's almost been three weeks since we last spoke, and I wonder if in her heart of ice does she even feel bad or guilty? How can someone who loved me do this to me? Make me feel this amount of pain? The last time I spoke to her, she asked me to stop contacting her as it was making her tense. HER. Making HER tense. Stopping her from sleeping. Stopping HER from sleeping. It was stressing HER out. Were these messages I was sending threatening? Were they every single day? No. They weren't. They were, if I had to put a time on them, almost once a week. And they were never threatening. Just "I miss you" if anything. And yet, this was stressing her out. She told me if I contacted her again, she would inform the police. So I am in a sort of forced NC. And I still don't know what it is I am supposed to have done wrong. I was dumped, wanted the person back, missed them - yet I am being punished? As if being dumped wasn't bad enough? Wow. And despite all of this, I still care about her. Well, don't I look stupid. I am shaking, I haven't eaten nor do I want to. I am in a really bad place right now, and I miss myself. I miss my normal thoughts. I miss not having this to deal with. I just want MYSELF back. 2
TunaCat Posted March 28, 2015 Posted March 28, 2015 On Day 3 of NC, and I'm still very angry with him for making me believe in what we had and then just jerking it all away. I actually didn't cry at all today. Spent an hour in the garage with my punching bag. Excellent for getting my emotions out. 1
ApexTitanium Posted March 28, 2015 Posted March 28, 2015 The pain is so bad....SO ****ing bad. I'm petrified to lose her, I'm literally hurting inside. It feels like a bomb going off in my heart and stomach. I can't picture life without her and I dont want to. I dont know what I'm going to do. I have a hold so tight and I can't let go. This is scaring me.... 1
Twigyy Posted March 28, 2015 Posted March 28, 2015 Today felt so different. I thought something's gonna happen to me, but nope, its still the same till the end of the day. This scar is the same as the one I have on my thumb. I accidentally cut myself with a knife, I bled, I fixed it myself, and I've learnt how to fix the wound. I hope I can be happy again. I want to be happy again. 2
TunaCat Posted March 28, 2015 Posted March 28, 2015 I think I'm going to have to block him on FB. He keeps messaging me even though he was the one who asked for NC. I have nothing to say to him, so I don't respond. I don't even read the messages. He's trying to assuage his guilt. I know him. I know he's doing this. I'm already starting to realize that I had rose colored glasses on with this relationship. He's not attractive to me and he never challenged me. Those are things I need to have in a relationship.
sexitif Posted March 28, 2015 Posted March 28, 2015 I broke up with my ex on March 10th! did not mean it yet that very night he was bragging about banging strippers! he knew how emotionally fragile I was,just recently lost my Mother to cancer and really needed someone to hold and love me. Three days ago I poured my heart out to him and he just laughed at me! I am a broken mess now and just want him to feel the pain I do.
sexitif Posted March 28, 2015 Posted March 28, 2015 I am going through the same thing but he doesn't miss or care about me
na49 Posted March 28, 2015 Posted March 28, 2015 I'm doing alright today. I still kind of want to unblock my ex, and message her to ask her about where we are at. but I think I can fight this urge. I need to fight this urge if I want to move on. I told myself that if I want to message her on what would have been our anniversary in a few weeks, then I will. but hopefully by that point I will be in a better place than I am today.
Itspointless Posted March 28, 2015 Posted March 28, 2015 One year no contact. Perhaps in another life ...
Jonp219 Posted March 29, 2015 Posted March 29, 2015 The feeling is very intense today. I'm trying not to fight it off but it's building up on me. I don't know if I could just sit here and feel this feeling. :'(
AIJ Posted March 29, 2015 Posted March 29, 2015 Think I'm pretty much over it now, like I genuinely couldn't care less what she's doing with her life. Glad she's happy with someone else, shame she's going to slowly but surely erode any self-worth that poor boy has. No urge to contact her, no urge to check up on her social media. Sure I miss having someone to talk to every day, but I'm happier on my own for now and if someone just so happens to walk in to my life, so be it 1
ASV Posted March 29, 2015 Posted March 29, 2015 Feeling like crap again. The last week was good enough since I had someone else interesting enough to put my attention. Now I just feel the sense of impending failure if things do not work out with her well again and I'm even unable to get to her crotch. Been missing the sex with my ex A LOT. Been getting flashbacks of her beautiful face kissing me once again and it feels like **** to have her gone away, who knows if for good (one week of NC since she wished me happy birthday - 3 months of NC since we accorded so). Felt I was getting over it but the feeling of being unable to surmount this obstacle strikes back.
TunaCat Posted March 29, 2015 Posted March 29, 2015 I've been doing so well since Monday (when all went to ****) but I am missing him big time today. I know I said we didn't work as a couple, but we've been friends for just about 20 years, so it's really hard not to have his friendship right now.
acapelo_dp Posted March 29, 2015 Posted March 29, 2015 Met up with my ex boyfriend last night for coffee, ended up having sex. Told me that he didn't want a relationship right now and couldn't handle the pressure, didn't want to have to talk to someone everyday and spend every weekend with them. Gave me the "it's not you it's me" bull crap. After he f*cked me told me he hopes that I find love and a boyfriend who treats me right. Wants to be friends in 6 months or a year from now. Then he left. I've blocked him on Facebook, deleted his number and deleted all our pictures. I hate him right now for doing this to me. I feel so heart broken. How can someone go from being crazy about you, planning to move in together and a future to "not wanting a relationship right now?" I was with him a year and a half and I moved across the country to be with him. What a waste. I just want to go home right now so bad and I can't. I'm stuck and this entire city reminds me of him. I'm so tired of getting my heart broken. Not coping well today at all.
lumberjac Posted March 29, 2015 Posted March 29, 2015 Don't know why, but I've been thinking about her all day. Thought a lot, thought about everything. And I don't know how to describe my feeling right now. I'm not sad, not upset, dont have a heartache. Think I'm just missing her, I want to speak to her. I wonder how she is doing, what she is up to, if she is thinking about me, or missing me. Yeh I guess I still care about her. Her depression and anxiety gives her bad days. Sometimes she would have panic attacks, can't go to sleep, or don't want to get up. It's not severe, but its something that she needs meds to control and help her. Been two months since we broke up, since we last saw each other. Like many people on here I did think shes the one I would spend the rest of my life. I was so bad when we BU, oh the thought of beging single again. I wanted her back but I managed to stay strong. If you ask me now if I want to get back with her, I would say I'm 50/50. Yes she's a great girl, but I also have a pretty awesome plan for this summer and the coming year. If I have the chance to get back with her then I wouldn't be able to pursue the plans, as it involves travelling and leaving the country. I still love her though, thats why I've not remain contact with her, I just can't. Ah, wish my brain works like a computer, that I can just delete the folder. Imagine that, dragging the folder named "ex name" to the recycle bin, and right click to delete. 1
dyna85 Posted March 30, 2015 Posted March 30, 2015 Headed down a very slippery slope of overanalysis tonight, in which it seems from every angle it's all my fault.
dyna85 Posted March 30, 2015 Posted March 30, 2015 Can I just move through this faster please? It's taking forever and a day. Why do I have to be so g-d sentimental? I mean, really.
AprilTears Posted March 30, 2015 Posted March 30, 2015 4 weeks NC came and went and I just realized it today. Keeping really busy is so helpful. I don't miss him as much. I know without a doubt that I'll never accept him back in my life.
BlackbirdSong Posted March 30, 2015 Posted March 30, 2015 I keep telling myself to keep calm, be patient, and stay the course. It's the only way I can get through my day. I'm so devastated still. 1
Twigyy Posted March 30, 2015 Posted March 30, 2015 Kinda depressing day, but hey, it's day 27. I've got some stuff done at home, learnt how to read a music sheet, learnt how to play the piano a little bit. Pretty impressed that I've gone so far I hope you rot in hell for dumping me you piece of sh*t D:<
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