Dallix Posted March 17, 2015 Posted March 17, 2015 I feel for a Blackbirdsong, My exe married someone she just met after about a week or 2, before I even knew we broke up. I keep picturing them together. In time it really does get better though. Keep busy and force your mind to not go there and remember you have a chance to find someone better, who won't do this to you. 2
smellysocksuni Posted March 17, 2015 Posted March 17, 2015 I feel for a Blackbirdsong, My exe married someone she just met after about a week or 2, before I even knew we broke up. I keep picturing them together. In time it really does get better though. Keep busy and force your mind to not go there and remember you have a chance to find someone better, who won't do this to you. That's a really heartbreaking story, I'm sorry man.
Dallix Posted March 18, 2015 Posted March 18, 2015 Yeah, add an abortion into the mix there and the damn thing drove me to suicide, but as said, things do get better. Still hurt but you will see the light at the end of the tunnel and have hope again. I still dread going down the street East because her Ex and son live right down the street from me now. Scared I'll see her..and sucker number 34. Still waiting on becoming indifferent on those feelings.
kenmore Posted March 18, 2015 Posted March 18, 2015 Anger! Finally! I really got angry at her today for...well everything! For treating me like she cared for so long. for dumping me because her mother said she should, even though her mother abused her when she was a kid and all I did was love her! For putting the stake in it when there was no good reason, and every opportunity to make it work. For not appreciating anything I did, ever. Anger can be very healing! I realized today that everything she blamed me for, she was more guilty of! Guilty of using me, guilty of living off of me. She made the money, I made the life! She's still putting her abusive mother over me, and it just makes me want it to end ASAP! How an I coping today? F*CK HER! That's how. Ken
Dallix Posted March 18, 2015 Posted March 18, 2015 Awesome Ken. I also find that getting angry does help. Sure as hell better then moping with tears. No room for anything else when angry! 2
smellysocksuni Posted March 18, 2015 Posted March 18, 2015 Anyone else struggling with the idea of being just an ex? I still view her as 'mine' - what's that about?
AIJ Posted March 18, 2015 Posted March 18, 2015 Awesome Ken. I also find that getting angry does help. Sure as hell better then moping with tears. No room for anything else when angry! I had a day of anger, I just cracked completely. Followed by 2 days, going on 3, of completely calmness. Weird, feels good though. I still have the odd few reflective sad moments but that passes quickly and it's back to doing whatever I'm doing Still think about her a lot but it's neither positive or negative thoughts, just kind of, meh, I don't know how to explain it really. Feel like I've gone through the worst of it and it's only a matter of time before I'm indifferent towards her. Can't wait! 1
ASV Posted March 18, 2015 Posted March 18, 2015 I'm feeling some kind of anger, but in my case things get worse for me. I'm already missing my sadness and empathy for her due to her incapability to love (which explains that she seems to be kept at home without hanging out nor meeting new people as one could expect after her breaking up). Honestly, I don't want to know if there is a third person involved, for it wouldn't solve NOTHING. Now I feel hurt thinking I wasn't even her preferable option to loneliness, and I'm really losing hope on any kind of reconciliation. Soon it will be my birthday, she'll reach out, I'll say "thanks and bye" and feel miserable for all the inner turmoil I'd like to share with her but WON'T even consider doing it. Some days ago I thought she suffered from GIGS and in some time would be back after seeing no greener pastures at all. Now I'm more inclined to think I didn't even deserve her by any chance and now I'm left with what remains after such daydream. 1
Itspointless Posted March 18, 2015 Posted March 18, 2015 To be honest, I feel like screaming the last few weeks. Finally she was moving out of my mind and now another part of my life is falling apart: apparently I am not longer needed/wanted where I work. They actively are trying to get rid of me.
AIJ Posted March 18, 2015 Posted March 18, 2015 To be honest, I feel like screaming the last few weeks. Finally she was moving out of my mind and now another part of my life is falling apart: apparently I am not longer needed/wanted where I work. They actively are trying to get rid of me. Such is life. Everything was going perfectly well for me, New Year came and it all went drastically downhill. Very close family member passed away suddenly, which made me miserable, which (I believe) in turn made my (now ex) girlfriend unhappy, which caused her to leave me, and to top it all of, my cat died last week. Good times. Just have to take it as it comes and get on with it buddy Best of luck! 2
Itspointless Posted March 18, 2015 Posted March 18, 2015 Thank you!! Really sorry to hear everything that has happened to you. Sounds like you have a great attitude. But that doesn't make everything any easier you are enduring. We deserve much better!
ASV Posted March 18, 2015 Posted March 18, 2015 I think we all deserve better when we're confronted with such struggles and facing them with braveness and attitude. AIJ, I don't know if any superior entity dwells up there, I'm confused and feeling miserable for His indifference towards my pleas, but be sure one of my prayers will be for you as well.
RedButton Posted March 18, 2015 Posted March 18, 2015 Haven't posted here in a while, but figured I'd put an update for those who remember. I'm doing well, and it's been a long time since the breakup now (realised I'd lost count when someone told me it had been a while and I didn't realise how long it had been). I'm feeling good about things for the most part, think about her a lot still, but not in a sad way, just memories. Looking to meet someone new, and move on if at least for a little while, and just generally feeling better about myself. I only get down when I'm upset about something else, and even then I can usuall snap myself out of it faster than before. I still have something of hers I want to return, so next week I might message a mutual friend and ask if I can leave it with him. At this point if she wants to make contact it should be her decision, I don't want to get into contact with her and undo the progress I've made, but would feel rotten/unfinished if I didn't return her stuff. I hope that everyone else is moving on well too, wish me luck in finding someone new!
BlackbirdSong Posted March 18, 2015 Posted March 18, 2015 I was an absolute wreck this morning...day 37ish. I was crying in my car in my work parking lot, like a little bitch. I was so angry with myself. How can I allow one person out of everybody on this Earth, to affect me so deeply? If I was on the outside looking at me, I would say I was so pathetic. The thing is, I've felt this same pain once before. I was married thirteen years ago and we got divorced (was a mutual split), but the pain I felt destroyed me. It took me almost a decade to get over her. So this isn't my first pony ride. I've had long-term relationships since then, but this newest breakup is hitting me just as hard as my divorce did. The other breakups pale in comparison. It sucks hardcore. The worst of today though had to be when I would get these ridiculous thoughts. For instance, I was trying to convince myself that me being upset during this whole ordeal is a waste of time because she's eventually going to come back anyways (there are zero indications supporting this, just a gut instinct - hell, i was an amazing boyfriend to her so why wouldn't she come back?) Hahaha what a ****ing fool I am. She's probably ****ing her new guy right now. That brings me to my second ridiculous thought. I cannot stop thinking about her being intimate with other men. It is killing me to my core. She never likes to be alone, so I know she has somebody right now and I know (in my mind) that she is being intimate. She's a very sexual person. Kills me. I can't stop the thoughts. Wtf, i'm a good looking, very healthy, athletic, intelligent, super educated, interesting, well-rounded, well-mannered guy............who has a temporary underemployment issue and maybe money management difficulties. Why does this **** happen to me? I find the perfect girl (I thought), plan my life with her, only to get **** on and now I have to start from square one. I'm not getting any younger. Ok, pity party over for now. Gotta hit the gym..... 2
NopeNah Posted March 18, 2015 Posted March 18, 2015 I was an absolute wreck this morning...day 37ish. I was crying in my car in my work parking lot, like a little bitch. I was so angry with myself. How can I allow one person out of everybody on this Earth, to affect me so deeply? If I was on the outside looking at me, I would say I was so pathetic. The thing is, I've felt this same pain once before. I was married thirteen years ago and we got divorced (was a mutual split), but the pain I felt destroyed me. It took me almost a decade to get over her. So this isn't my first pony ride. I've had long-term relationships since then, but this newest breakup is hitting me just as hard as my divorce did. The other breakups pale in comparison. It sucks hardcore. The worst of today though had to be when I would get these ridiculous thoughts. For instance, I was trying to convince myself that me being upset during this whole ordeal is a waste of time because she's eventually going to come back anyways (there are zero indications supporting this, just a gut instinct - hell, i was an amazing boyfriend to her so why wouldn't she come back?) Hahaha what a ****ing fool I am. She's probably ****ing her new guy right now. That brings me to my second ridiculous thought. I cannot stop thinking about her being intimate with other men. It is killing me to my core. She never likes to be alone, so I know she has somebody right now and I know (in my mind) that she is being intimate. She's a very sexual person. Kills me. I can't stop the thoughts. Wtf, i'm a good looking, very healthy, athletic, intelligent, super educated, interesting, well-rounded, well-mannered guy............who has a temporary underemployment issue and maybe money management difficulties. Why does this **** happen to me? I find the perfect girl (I thought), plan my life with her, only to get **** on and now I have to start from square one. I'm not getting any younger. Ok, pity party over for now. Gotta hit the gym..... Hit the gym and use the "wasted energy/time" you spent on her to work on your underemployment,money managing (i'm bad too!) issues. It's truly amazing how much time one spends on having a relationship with another person. Almost like a second/third job!
Dallix Posted March 19, 2015 Posted March 19, 2015 Missing her today, and still scared I'll see her driving by since her ex and son live right down the street from me. Moved her so she would be close to her kid and I'm now paying the price for it.
AIJ Posted March 19, 2015 Posted March 19, 2015 Most positive day I've had since the break up, and it's not for any real particular reason. Woke up, felt a little bit nostalgic, missed her for a little bit, then kept telling myself over and over that she left me for someone else, she's not worth it. Barely thought about her since. Haven't been this happy in a long, long time and it really makes me realise that I was actually quite miserable in the relationship, so thankful it ended! She may be beautiful, but she was a nasty piece of work. 2
BunHeadLA Posted March 19, 2015 Posted March 19, 2015 I've been doing better since I have a new job and am moving on April 1!! That will take me away from a big trigger when it come to my break up. I still miss him dearly and I got troubling news that my friends cancer is back, stage 4 and incurable she's 36. It made me want to have my ex and his love again. Then his girlfriend popped up on fb as "someone you may know" and I blocked her again and got mad that the b--- that stole my boyfriend was still with him and doing great. Here is the weird thing... So last year when they got together I blocked her on FB so this was March 2014. Not after sending her a message saying she was not a good person... I know dumb but it was very fresh!! Then in the summer of 2014 ex started face timing me, so I unblocked her to see if they were still together. They were and I just left her unblocked. Then in the fall I get another FaceTime call from ex and I see she blocked me!! Then now in March of 2015 she's popping up again! I wonder why she also keeps unblocking and blocking me... I wonder... I mean I know why I do it.
Dondon Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 Last 3 weeks were very good for me. I wasn't thinking much about her and actually started enjoying life again. Work, gym and hanging out with my friends kept me from thinking about her. I really thought i was through the worst part of this BU (~3 months, went NC two days after) and than i dreamt about her last night. Woke up two times and it didn't help. I kept dreaming about her all night long. I don't know why that happened. Of course i feel like s**t today. I'm so depressed and have no energy to do anything. I won't go out tonight, can't even force myself to go. I will drink some wine, watch some tv and go to bed early so i can get some sleep. I hope i will feel better tomorrow. Why is this so damn hard? I'm a good guy, nice person and i was a really great boyfriend. I treated her with love and respect. I did everything i could for our relationship. Her family and friends all loved me and said i was perfect for her. Even after 3 months and a lot of thinking and analyzing, there isn't one thing i could do differently. I'm proud of myself for everything i did for this girl, for how i treated her, for what kind of person and boyfriend i was. I really didn't deserve this. I didn't deserve to be treated like that. I'm keeping to NC, because i know it's the only way for me to heal and move on. And i really want to forget her, get her out of my mind so i can be happy again. What else can i do, to get you out of my head?
na49 Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 I really just want to talk to my counselor about everything that has happened to me this week. I don't feel great, but I don't feel like complete garbage either. I haven't had motivation to do any of the homework I was assigned for spring break though.. 1
Jonp219 Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 I really just want to talk to my counselor about everything that has happened to me this week. I don't feel great, but I don't feel like complete garbage either. I haven't had motivation to do any of the homework I was assigned for spring break though.. I completely understand. For some reason i'm doing better in school since my break up, maybe because I have more time and i'm motivated to graduate. However, I think you should do your best, you need some accomplishments under your wing after all that you're going through. It's funny though lol. I have all these goals for the next few months... -Pass midterms and finals -Graduate in June -Get drivers permit -Get drivers license -Get a car -Go to Florida in August -Go on a few dates (when i'm ready) -Lineup an internship for the Fall -Complete therapy But even if I get all of this done, I feel like i'm still going to want her. However, that's probably because I haven't given up on hope completely (when I should). 1
BlackbirdSong Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 But even if I get all of this done, I feel like i'm still going to want her. However, that's probably because I haven't given up on hope completely (when I should). Funny you say that because when my ex left, she told me to "fix things". So I've been hellbent on trying to fix things on my end in hopes that she'll come back. While in the back of my mind, I truly know it's over. I'm consciously setting myself up to hurt myself. How crazy is that? Next thing I'll find out is that while I've been "fixing" stuff for the good of "us", she'll go get engaged. Fml
wogslow Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 How am I coping...Terribly. Never felt so isolated in my life.
Jonp219 Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 (edited) Funny you say that because when my ex left, she told me to "fix things". So I've been hellbent on trying to fix things on my end in hopes that she'll come back. While in the back of my mind, I truly know it's over. I'm consciously setting myself up to hurt myself. How crazy is that? Next thing I'll find out is that while I've been "fixing" stuff for the good of "us", she'll go get engaged. Fml My ex told me the same thing too lol However, I really do need to fix things with myself. I'm in therapy now for my insecurities and anger issues. She told me, "Work on yourself and if you're still interested, let me know". Either way, i'm starting to lose hope for my own sake, because I don't want to be disappointed if I ever do decide to contact her one day. Last time I checked her Twitter she was writing stuff about me (negative stuff btw). I'm like, "Damn it's been a month and she's still going"? It's whatever though, i'm just going to focus on me. Whatever happens, happens. She was fed up with my nonsense Edited March 20, 2015 by Jonp219
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