Brokenpenguin Posted February 28, 2015 Posted February 28, 2015 Day 1 of no contact. I feel sick. Hey, its hard at first but it will get better I promise, its up to you on how long that takes
freebird31 Posted February 28, 2015 Posted February 28, 2015 I'm going to get through everything. I just need to get through these next two months. I wonder why my ex still looks at those messages. I came across a picture of him. And when I really look at him to be honest he's not that handsome. But when I look at him I remember why I liked him and what made him, him. His soul. and it makes me so sad. The only reason why I even looked was because he posted a story on his snap chat. I should delete him from there. Idk. I just really hope the same thing happens to him. I hope and pray he meets a beautiful well-rounded really good girl and the same frustrating thing happens to him like it did to me. I hope that he feels like something is missing. And hope that he thinks of me when he dates a new girl. And I hope it haunts him just like it haunts me. I hope it hinders him from moving on and he feels just as miserable as I do
freebird31 Posted February 28, 2015 Posted February 28, 2015 Maybe he did himself a favor. Because I know that I am not normal and crazy. It has been this long and I'm still thinking about this. And it's mainly because when I try to date I think of my ex. Maybe I'm just not ready to move on yet.
NopeNah Posted February 28, 2015 Posted February 28, 2015 Supposed to have dinner and spend the next two days with my ex(she wants to try AGAIN)..Not really feeling it and thinking about canceling.
Cupid's Puppet Posted March 1, 2015 Posted March 1, 2015 I don't think highly of my ex anymore. I believe I truly can go the rest of my life without hearing or seeing him anymore. Friends are always good at putting things in perspective. One day my friend said, "What is it about him that you love so much? I just don't understand how you can love someone who obviously doesn't love or care about you anymore." That is so true. I am loving a complete stranger at this point. What a waste of emotions.
freebird31 Posted March 1, 2015 Posted March 1, 2015 (edited) In two months my life will go through one of its changes once again. I will have graduated and got my bachelors degree. And it will once again be a new chapter and a new beginning. I have made a plan for my future and have established that I want to take my time before starting my career. During these next two years I plan to take it easy, explore different jobs, and knock out a few classes. But again, I want to take it nice and slow. In these last 2 years I have been very hard on myself and tough trying to do the best I can do. My perspective on what I want out of life has changed a bit. I have only realized that what I truly want out of this lifetime is to be happy. Yes a career I enjoycan help with that. Money can help relieve financial burdens but at the end of it all, I am the only person that can give myself happiness. The next two years is my opportunity to really relax, enjoy life, and most importantly heal. Heal from my past. My ex and the ones who I once shared a love with. I have also realized that sometimes things are out of our control. I cannot control the residual feelings that I have for my ex. I cannot control my ability to move on. Or to forget him. I have gone through a whirlwind battle trying to control what I realized I have absolute no control over. Instead I accept that the feelings and relationship that I shared with him were a treasure. A piece of my past that I will forever look back on and treasure. Now, this doesn't mean dwell. I just am realizing that perhaps you just have to keep living your life. I will keep living my life and I will no longer try to control what I know I cannot control. If I am not ready to move on, it's okay. I will wait a little longer. The right opportunity will make itself known. In the meantime, I plan to go on an adventure of self discovery and healing. A lot of people on here told me I need to "let go" and move on in "healthy" ways. While you are right, I would also like to add that maybe u just need to let life take its own course. Stop trying to control everything. Accept that you still have feelings for that person. But also accept that healing takes time. I was getting so frustrated because it has been two years. And still my feelings for him are as strong as they have ever been. But I think that's okay. I don't think there is anything wrong with that. That doesn't mean I'm unhealthy. I just need to accept that my situation may take a little longer to get over. That's all. Whatever happens, happens. I'm going to stop trying to control what I cannot and just start living my life. Cry when I need to. Feel the pain when I need to. But never forget what I CAN control. Edited March 1, 2015 by freebird31 2
na49 Posted March 1, 2015 Posted March 1, 2015 I graduate next year and that will be when my life without her will officially begin. I'll be linked to her in some way as long as I am going to the same college as her. It's awesome that you are just worrying about what you can control. It's such a simple thought process/concept but can be so hard to grasp at times. Breakups can be difficult to get over, but in this one area it really isn't difficult. We can't control them. We never could control them. We always were able to control ourselves and that hasn't changed. I also don't think it's horrible for you to miss the relationship you had with your ex. As bad as it may have been, I can't pretend like I wouldn't sign up for another chance. If I can just live with the thoughts but keep living my life, I'll be okay. I'm doing alright today. I had a dream that I texted her, and she was cold and mean. She told me she hated me and all of this crap. I woke up feeling angry but I've slipped back into missing her a bit. I'm missing her, but I'm not miserable. Let's see how long this feeling lasts. 1
HBK3317 Posted March 4, 2015 Posted March 4, 2015 Dreamt of her last night... All night long... God damn it the more I try to get her out of my head the more she haunts me... Why did this happen... Why couldn't it have been a fairytale love story... I would give up anything she just had to name it... I think even God can't do anything about it... Aarggghhhhhh
Dallix Posted March 4, 2015 Posted March 4, 2015 Not feeling so good today. Head keeps going back to her being possibly being happily married weeks after cheating and leaving. Wondering if she'll ever regret leaving.
thorin Posted March 4, 2015 Posted March 4, 2015 Yesterday I had the day when I just was feeling quite ok, I was sitting at home feeling good, accepting the situation (she wrote to me that she misses me, but I cut off the conversation quickly). Today I woke up hoping she texted me, but nothing, I am still fighting the urge to text her I miss her, and I really hope she'll text me "I miss you, changed my mind and want to be with you". But I know feelings don't change. Feeling pretty bad today.
lumberjac Posted March 4, 2015 Posted March 4, 2015 In the long run will she forget me...? no one can ever forget their exs completely, it the fact of how often she will think about you.
AprilTears Posted March 4, 2015 Posted March 4, 2015 Want to break no contact tonight. I was fine all day!! Now I'm not. 1
na49 Posted March 5, 2015 Posted March 5, 2015 I felt the best I have felt since she left me. ... so that was pretty cool. also April, what would you even say if you did break No Contact?
dyna85 Posted March 5, 2015 Posted March 5, 2015 So close to checking his FB because someone really pissed me off... and when I get anxious and pissed off, I want to check his FB. Wowwww. So freaking messed up that is. Thank God I came here to post instead, because I will not go down that rabbit hole again!!!
Twigyy Posted March 5, 2015 Posted March 5, 2015 So close to checking his FB because someone really pissed me off... and when I get anxious and pissed off, I want to check his FB. Wowwww. So freaking messed up that is. Thank God I came here to post instead, because I will not go down that rabbit hole again!!! Yeah happens to me once in awhile haha. CONTROL.
AprilTears Posted March 5, 2015 Posted March 5, 2015 I felt the best I have felt since she left me. ... so that was pretty cool. also April, what would you even say if you did break No Contact? Thankfully, I have nothing to say at all since I laid it all out before it ended. But I was still tempted to send something really stupid like hey, would you mind mailing me my *insert whatever item he has here* back? And if he ignored it I would have died a little more inside. I won't do it. I won't send him a dam* thing. He doesn't deserve to hear from me.
kenmore Posted March 5, 2015 Posted March 5, 2015 (edited) @Kenmore: So about the date... We met up at a restaurant/bar that is just across from my workplace. It was a lovely experience. He was funny, charming, witty, and most of all, he came across as very self assured. I had a blast on the date and during the date, I only thought about my ex in the fleeting moments where we discussed our previous partners, otherwise my focus was completely in the moment. I made sure I read up on narcissitic traits before I went on the date, just to make sure I was prepared and so far he did not exhibit any. The red flag that flew up was that he had just broken up with his girlfriend in January after a 4 year relationship. Clearly he has other things to worry about than dating. All in all, it was a lovely way to spend a Friday evening other than my usual method of being at home curled up with my teddy bear, watching DVD's, experiencing FOMO of the worst kind LOL. Emotionally I bounced back and forth a bit this weekend. I had a bit of a moment when two days later he still hadnt called, but I have accepted that he is just not that into me and I refuse to take it personally and make it all about me. That is my default setting, to blame myself for other peoples decisions and make their choices about my not being good enough. I am working very hard to change that about aspect about myself. I cannot be tying my worth to my ability (or inability) to get and keep a man, that is just a recipe for disaster. I have to like myself outside of the dating sphere and that will translate into a better quality life in general and love life in particular. I am taking the moment for what it was. It showed me that there are other people out there, I can have a good time, I can flirt and have nice conversations with and not go off the deep end and the temporary ego boost was fantastic. FF, I can't keep up with this thread, it's easy to lose a page or two lol. Sorry I did not see this until tonight. Just to let you know from a mans perspective, not calling isn't always because we didn't like the date. There are people who can act so confident and awesome during a date but doubt their own abilities later. The act is just that. I have had meetings where someone I was talking to was so confident looking and seemed so together but I saw they were shaking from fear at meeting someone new. While my own confidence seemed to help, if it were up to them, I doubt they would call me. Also, in case you didn't notice, people are weird! I was on a long phone convo today pulled by the side of the road with corporate, and as I sat there (for an hour), a guy walked by with his motorcycle (out of gas?), some other guy stood about 30 yards in front of me with his dog and made other dogs (who were not tied up) come running out to them, but did they move on? Of course not! They stood there for another fifteen minutes with the other dogs barking. I came to realize it was all on purpose! Sorry, I went off on a tangent, but one thing you should never do is feel self conscious because some dude didn't call you. Maybe he did in the future of this thread...what, seven pages from Valentines day? I won't read it all, but I find it difficult to call back sometimes, and I do it for a living! You seem lovely. That's all I can say now. Hell, I can't even figure out my own sex *NOT* life. All I know is I could sure use an ego boost or a f*cking flirt! The truth be told, after my first wife died and I met my second wife, I had several nice flings and enjoyed every one; but none as much as being married! I will get into it again soon. I guess I have decided (at the advice of several posters here) to just wait awhile. I know that's for the best since I will end up f*cking any woman I fall for and don't wish to do that until I'm officially divorced. But after? Lookout! Edited March 5, 2015 by kenmore
HBK3317 Posted March 5, 2015 Posted March 5, 2015 I miss her so much... I just wish she would be right here with me... This is so ****ed up! :x
HBK3317 Posted March 6, 2015 Posted March 6, 2015 I started missing her again... Pe dry thing reminds me of her... Every goddamn thing...
ASV Posted March 6, 2015 Posted March 6, 2015 Today I dreamed I was crying to a friend to the risk of getting dumped, and a friend of her told me that she would fix things to work out better... only to wake up and realize I'm alreado dumped for a few months. So yeah, my day was doomed from the start!
AprilTears Posted March 6, 2015 Posted March 6, 2015 Day 7 of no contact. I'm feeling okay about it today. I'm sad about the loss, the rejection, the feeling that he didn't care about me after all (he didn't say that but it's how he's made me feel). I'm fearful of two things: He reaches out and I won't be strong enough to resist. He never reaches out and I won't be strong enough to handle that he didn't.
Jonp219 Posted March 6, 2015 Posted March 6, 2015 Not so good. I haven't checked her page since last night. I haven't spoken to her since the 21st of February. I feel like i'm dying on the inside because I still have hope that we might get back together someday 1
LittleShamrock Posted March 6, 2015 Posted March 6, 2015 I'm fearful of two things: He reaches out and I won't be strong enough to resist. He never reaches out and I won't be strong enough to handle that he didn't. This is EXACTLY how I feel too!!
Targetlock Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 Saw my ex in town yesterday for the first time in 4 months, she was in her car with her mum driving past me, she ignored me like last time but what bothered me was the funny look her mum gave me. i just smiled and kept on walking to work, frankly I don't give a ****!!
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