RedButton Posted December 16, 2014 Posted December 16, 2014 I've been feeling a lot of regret that I wasted so many years on him and even though I know it's silly, I feel that I'm too old at 28 to meet someone new. How funny, I'm a 27 year old male and feel sometimes as if I'm too old t meet someone new. There are plenty of mid-late twenty year old guys who are single and looking for the right person, so I wouldn't worry too much. You could even date younger men (early twenties) if you found a good match. I know it's easy to get negative, I do it all the time and worry I'll never meet someone good again, but I think that's just the fear speaking. As for my coping, the last few weeks have been really tough. Bad news from family members back home, being alone (no family) for the holidays and being in the second month of the breakup (not having someone to turn to) and a few other things have all balled up and made me pretty miserable the last few days. I really wish I could just take a week off work or something because I'm finding it so hard to concentrate or feel motivated about anything at all right now. I haven't felt this rotten since the first couple of weeks. 1
NopeNah Posted December 16, 2014 Posted December 16, 2014 Feels as if I'm losing my mind today! Bad memories,good memories,stupid arguments,ect.The dream's!!! I don't even want to sleep anymore.... I just want this to vanish from my head. 'Smart me' knows it was bad...very bad,for a long time. Then theres the side that says, IF we had done this,or that...it'd be blissful/happy ending! Insanity...Is what I feel.
Itspointless Posted December 16, 2014 Posted December 16, 2014 I've been feeling a lot of regret that I wasted so many years on him and even though I know it's silly, I feel that I'm too old at 28 to meet someone new. How funny, I'm a 27 year old male and feel sometimes as if I'm too old t meet someone new. There are plenty of mid-late twenty year old guys who are single and looking for the right person, so I wouldn't worry too much. You could even date younger men (early twenties) if you found a good match. If it makes you both feel better I am 35, and just as you two hope these things are in it for me at a given moment. Do not compare yourself with others, people really make an effort to show others how happy they are. Well I can tell you some of my friends are in marriages you never want to find yourself in. 1
feelymcfeel Posted December 17, 2014 Posted December 17, 2014 Today I'm feeling a little down. Guess this is the downswing of the emotional roller coaster healing from a BU is. It's not horrible, not like the absolute despair and depression I used to feel earlier on in the BU, but it still aches a bit. I keep wondering what's going on in his life now, even though I know that knowing would just make me feel worse because I'm sure he's quite happy with his new woman and life. I guess I just miss him a little today. I got ambushed by an extremely vivid memory of him out of nowhere today and it's kept me out of sorts. Can't help wondering if he ever thinks about me or misses me at all. Not that it matters to anything other than my still bruised ego, but there it is anyway. I've been feeling a lot of regret that I wasted so many years on him and even though I know it's silly, I feel that I'm too old at 28 to meet someone new. It seems like every day another person on FaceBook is getting engaged/married, pregnant, or just had a baby. And here I am at 28, single and with no prospects at all. I can't help but feel like a failure and that I'm too old for anyone to want me. It seems that all the guys my age are either taken, have kids, or are divorced and have zero interest in ever getting married again or even having a relationship. I want to get married one day, not just be someone's girlfriend, but I feel like it's too late. I wish I never would've taken my ex back after the first time left me for another woman. That was almost two years ago. I'm sure I would've been completely over him by now if I would've. Even if I would've left him when I finally realized that our relationship was never going to go anywhere It would've put me a year into healing instead of only 3 months. I don't know why I hung onto the relationship even though I knew in my heart that it had been over for a long time. It makes me feel stupid and weak. I need to get on with my self-improvement. I need to start exercising and eating more healthy because I've put on a few pounds since we broke up instead of losing weight. Makes me feel like crap and unloveable especially when I'm sure my ex has been going to the gym to look good for his new chick. Ugh, anyway, enough whining for now I guess. You're not the only one, and trust me, there are plenty of us about. 1
ThreeYearsDumb Posted December 17, 2014 Posted December 17, 2014 Having an awful day. I can't let go of this feeling where I know with certainty we will be together again. I doesn't feel like denial but of course how would I know. She is seeing someone else and it sounds like it is getting more serious. But she still has feelings for me, forcing herself to move on. We just spoke on the phone and she brought up how hurt she is. We were talking about our kid and planning Christmas and she brought up his hurt and angry she is. I know she is still conflicted. I can't move on without letting go of all hope.and I can't let go of all hope. It's been four months and I know it we will be together again
KBarletta Posted December 17, 2014 Posted December 17, 2014 Having an awful day. I can't let go of this feeling where I know with certainty we will be together again. I doesn't feel like denial but of course how would I know. She is seeing someone else and it sounds like it is getting more serious. But she still has feelings for me, forcing herself to move on. We just spoke on the phone and she brought up how hurt she is. We were talking about our kid and planning Christmas and she brought up his hurt and angry she is. I know she is still conflicted. I can't move on without letting go of all hope.and I can't let go of all hope. It's been four months and I know it we will be together again I feel your pain, man. I am in the same boat, though our contact has been extremely limited with no real conversations and everything carried out via text and e-mail. Today has been an extremely rough day, feeling incredible sadness just over the idea of going shopping for holiday presents and not buying my wife anything (usually one of the highlights of my year was finding a great gift for her), her taking my daughter out shopping without me, just the whole idea of the holiday happening with us totally apart. It's tearing me up inside. So I feel your pain. And I do hope you are right that you'll be together again. I personally think that if my wife comes back, it has to be totally her decision with no prodding or suggesting from me. It has to be organic. Time will tell. The best thing you can do for yourself right now is limit your contact with her and focus on yourself. Act as if you are moving on and let yourself heal. That way, whether she comes back or not, you will be better off - and sooner rather than later.
NopeNah Posted December 18, 2014 Posted December 18, 2014 Better..today. Still feeling stuff,but different stuff. Got a lot of work done today,got a few new clients. No way but forwards, i guess. What other option is there...really?
WillLoveAgain Posted December 18, 2014 Posted December 18, 2014 I am having a DOWN day!!! One of my closest friend informs me he thinking of proposing to his gf. I'm happy for him but it brought me back to when me and my ex talked about getting married and sharing our lives together. The hurt and the sadness comes in waves sometime and this current wave is pulling me under. i know it too shall pass but DAMN it hurts like a B*TCH! *sigh*
The Poster Posted December 22, 2014 Posted December 22, 2014 (edited) This is way, way harder than I imagined it would be. For a 10 week relationship in which we only saw each other about 10 times, I'm almost embarrassed I'm in so much pain over it, and the last two weeks of the relationship were kind of rocky. My last relationship lasted two years and that girl was my first EVERYTHING and I don't remember feeling this badly when we broke up and she went with someone else. And I had a lot of regrets. I don't know what to do. I just don't want to care anymore. I don't want to keep thinking about her and wondering "what could have been" and I don't want to hurt anymore. I have stretches where I feel fine, but when the pain comes it comes HARD. I never thought something so short could have such a huge impact on me, yet, here I am. She probably has no idea how I feel either. I didn't put up any kind of fight when she broke up with me. I just said "I understand, good luck to you." That was 5 weeks ago now and we haven't spoken at all since, yet it feels so fresh still. It's surreal. Edited December 22, 2014 by The Poster
DontBreak Posted December 24, 2014 Posted December 24, 2014 2 months after breakup 2nd day of finding out she's sleeping with another guy Blocked every avenue of contact been violently throwing up given myself flu It's ruined my Xmas - it doesn't seem fair at all - my soul hurts
DontBreak Posted December 24, 2014 Posted December 24, 2014 It's xmas eve I've just deleted all put photos I want cry - I won't she doesn't deserve my tears x
RedButton Posted December 24, 2014 Posted December 24, 2014 Christmas Eve! Thinking of my Ex, but this is the second month after breakup/no contact and I'm feeling better about things. Miss my family and friends as I'm living in another country, but still looking forward to a long weekend and hanging out with my new friends after Xmas & boxing day. Whenever I get down, I think about the excitement of falling in love all over again, and all the good things that came out of the relationship. Despite the breakup, it's been a very good year and I was so fortunate to have met her. 4
tampa1213 Posted December 24, 2014 Posted December 24, 2014 tomorrow will be 4 weeks that me and my ex broke up because he cheated on me with a girl he only knew a week that he met at work. i'm feeling a bit scared to even really go on Facebook especially since all i ever go and see are post of him and her saying how they are "in love" and that they are happy they are one giant family... all this is after 4 weeks of being together. i know how manipulative and selfish my ex can be so i just keep reminding myself that i'm better off, this is her problem now not mine. she may think she knows him and is in love but really this is a fantasy that they think they are in and i just have to keep reminding myself that i'm a better person without him and i'm going to be fine while their little dream world comes crashing down, i'm going to be over here happy as can be.
ThreeYearsDumb Posted December 24, 2014 Posted December 24, 2014 All I want for Christmas is my family back. I have hope...I can hope and believe that we'll be a family again. I find it immensely more difficult to reconcile the idea that we are truly done, and struggle to have hope in a future that doesn't include her. This Christmas I'm going to allow myself to believe in her, and have hope in our family. On the 26th I'll get back to work on moving on without her.
FixItCris Posted December 24, 2014 Posted December 24, 2014 It's Christmas. I saw her driving yesterday. It's been 7 weeks. I wish she thought about me. I know she doesn't. I don't want to think about her either. I was a rebound for her and as much as that hurts it makes perfect sense. I have learned many things about myself, and many things in hindsight. I wish she'd contact me.
NoMoreJerks Posted December 24, 2014 Posted December 24, 2014 I'm not coping well today. We haven't broken up yet, but I feel unappreciated (he kinda rushed me out of his house yesterday because his ex was coming to drop his kid off, and we had planned to wrap his kid's gift together, which was a very expensive gift that I had spent a lot of money on). I also couldn't wrap his present (we had gotten Christmas wrapping paper together, and I was gonna wrap his present at his place, on my own, but couldn't do that, so I gave him the present yesterday, Dec. 23, in unwrapped state, which kinda ruined the moment for me). Then, he said thanks, but that I was spoiling him a lot, and that he can't afford to give me such a gift (it was a $150 ipod nano -- we've been in a relationship for 8 months now; and he spends ****loads of money getting ****loads of presents for his kid, and also pays for his kid's braces and buys relatively more expensive microbrewery beer for himself every day). Then he kinda rushed me out of his place. Kinda pissed me off, so I told him I wasn't going to his kid's choir concert at midnight and that he can give the present to his kid in his name alone (I'm not asking for the money that I put in, of course -- a gift is a gift, and I like the kid). He didn't make an effort to convince me, so I've made up my mind to also skip the dinner that he was planning with his friends at his place, tomorrow. I've isolated myself from him for the time being. I am spending Christmas on my own, like in 2012, when my ex broke up with me on Dec 24. Anyway, I had decided back then that I'd never let anyone make me feel unappreciated, and when I felt that way, I took a step back and am reassessing the relationship. It doesn't mean that I don't feel bad, though. It sucks. Now I know what it can also feel like when things are not working out for you and you're thinking of breaking up, but the other one feels fine with the status quo of the way the relationship is going. I always thought that the dumpee had it harder, but I bet I feel ****tier than he ever will if I break up.
DenverDude Posted December 24, 2014 Posted December 24, 2014 I really miss her right now. I just want to go back in time and have her in my arms again. Even if it's just for a few seconds. My heart aches right now. It's Christmas eve and we usually would be opening our gifts together. I always loved spoiling her. If you are out there, just know that I am so sorry for everything.
Cupid's Puppet Posted December 24, 2014 Posted December 24, 2014 Holiday time and thinking of the "what-ifs". I almost looked at old pictures of us, but my laziness saved me because I would have had to lug this huge suitcase out the closet, and I was not in the mood for that. Cried a good cry and feeling a little better right now.
batt Posted December 25, 2014 Posted December 25, 2014 (edited) Its xmas and all I can think of is her Edited December 25, 2014 by batt wrong thread to vent
NoMoreJerks Posted December 25, 2014 Posted December 25, 2014 Even more pissed off now, as I found out he doesn't give a **** and has been baking cookies with his kid. So much for caring that your gf feels unappreciated. EX-GF now.
HurtGator Posted December 25, 2014 Posted December 25, 2014 Of course I miss my exgf during the holidays like everyone else does. But not only do I miss her, I miss her entire family. For the past two years my family and I have been going to her family's house to have Christmas Eve dinner then going to Midnight Mass together. Now that she's dating a new guy two days after breaking up with me, he's there instead.
DenverDude Posted December 25, 2014 Posted December 25, 2014 HurtGator - sorry you are missing her and her family. I am in the same boat as you. Not only do I miss her, but I really miss her family. We got along really well. I know that she is probably hanging out with her family right now laughing, celebrating the holidays, opening presents, etc etc. Here I am sitting in my apartment alone on this site. Sucks huh?
Hoosfoos Posted December 25, 2014 Posted December 25, 2014 Christmas Eve, and I'm here, alone, and she's with him.
StrangerThanFiction Posted December 25, 2014 Posted December 25, 2014 Feeling pretty good this Christmas Eve. Well, I guess it's now technically Christmas Day but, technicalities. I don't really have any happy memories with my ex from the holidays so it hasn't really been a trigger for me. Last Christmas and New Years he ditched me completely with some half-a$$ed excuse that I now know was him spending it with another woman. He only ever came to one Christmas with my family and I to one with his in the whole 6 years we were together. It's also very hard to be down when I'm around my whole family because they're a bunch of hilarious weirdos. Especially once they're into the homemade wine and beer. Dad always ends up dropping and breaking something once he gets sauced so it's now a new unofficial Christmas tradition. One of my younger female cousins just had a baby a few months ago and, c'mon, who doesn't love rosy cheeked little butterballs of epic cuteness? The last baby born in my family was born 14 years ago so I guess this is the start of the new generation. Only thing that bothered me slightly is how my aunts and uncles kept asking me when I'm going to give them a baby to fawn over Other than that, I had a great time. My aunts and uncles are the warmest and funniest people I know and everyone was trying to outdo each other with funny stories and jokes. All of us "kids" of the family are all grown up or damn near to being so so there was a lot more swearing (a family trait apparently) and a lot more dirty jokes flying around than in previous years. I've been feeling a bit lonely lately and this was exactly what I needed to realize that there are other types of love besides romantic that are just as important, if not more so. That there are amazing people who love me for me out there in the world is just such an awesome and life-affirming feeling. I'm going to try very hard to never take that for granted again. So, thanks to my family for being you! Never change 1
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