How are you coping today?

[DenverDude]

Feeling pretty down right now at the moment. Just realizing how hard it is to cope when I pretty much pushed my ex out of my life. It just ****ing sucks. I miss her a lot. I miss her family. I miss her smile. I miss her baby talking to the cat, I miss her baby talking to me. I miss kissing her on her forehead every morning when I woke up.

 

I forgot what her voice sounds like.

 

[love2ride]

Wow today is tough. Didn't sleep a wink last night. At work today and it's dark and rainy. I feel that gut wrenching pain, feel like crying. I miss her terribly and I know if she would just take me back life would be beautiful again and this would all go away. Its a good thing I deleted her number, blocked her on social media and deleted her email address or I would have contacted her. Its a rough one today boy. Feel like life will never be the same and nothing will bring me happiness. Ugh:sick:

[tryingtodealwithit]

I'm not coping at all. I don't even know what the problem is anymore. It's been 6 months. I know it's for the best. I wouldn't have it in me to reconcile. And yet I'm miserable. It makes it worse knowing that she isn't over it either. She may not want to reconcile either, but it's clear she isn't happy and moved on either (or at least she wasn't 4 weeks ago). I honestly don't know what to do. I'll just continue NC and hope that eventually this won't be my reality anymore.

[Shock Top]

I suspected an affair for a year and found out this september I was correct. Within 2 days we were in front of a mediator and 3 weeks later our separtion agreement is in place and waiting on the PA 90 day cooling off period for the divorce decree. How I cope??? I've started exercising and eating better, lost 30 pounds in 2 months and feel great. I've gone out dancing and hooked up a few times. More importantly I'm 39 and have a 24 year old bomb shell that has always flirted with me "helping me out". She said "your wife's a whore, you're a handsome & funny guy which is why I always flirt with you. I'd love to just jump in bed with you with no strings if you're up for it". Well, lets say I was VERY up for it and it's been wonderful. I have no dillusion this will go anywhere, but her and I are very sexual people and having a TON of fun right now. I don't believe I'll be introducing here to my kids anytime soon though, lol.

[hopelesslystuck1]

Broke no contact after 3 weeks. It's been 3+ months since the break up...i am very frustrated that I am still not over her. I just wish I would get angry already.

[sammiexo]

I haven't logged in here for 3 weeks as I thought it was making me worse. I may have to start my own thread...but I came here to say I am no better than 3 weeks ago, even with NC. I am terribly alone, depressed and still suicidal...now my ex has been appearing in my dreams for the past few days and I am not sleeping, either. I'm just tired of everything. I don't see myself getting better or finding love again, ever.

[WillLoveAgain]

Having one of those days when you can't shake the negative feelings away. I went to bed thinking of my ex and woke up thinking about him...I'm afraid I'm not moving on at all. It's been 2 months to the day since we broke up...Really need some friendly advice. Thanks

[candie13]

alright, I've had a couple of good days lately and decided to step up a level. After 44 days of no contact, I have unblocked him on my phone. I was feeling like that was holding me back - I am a believer in harmony and want harmony in my life. I do not expect him to contact me, but I am tense. The first hour after I had unblocked him, I was scared to check my phone - but I guess that's normal. It'll get better in a week or so. I am glad I did that. Still tense a bit, but mainly at peace. Now I can just focus on what's ahead of me. It'll be a lot better in two weeks from now.

[JDPT]

I had a rather challenging day today. So many memories of the past flooded my mind while at work, it may it at times difficult to concentrate. But I managed to reroute my thoughts and I'm starting to understand that my emotional recovery should not be neglected. Its like an insidious disease that if left unattended will gradually kill me from the inside out. I must not neglect my emotional recovery, there is lots of work to be done.

[freebird31]

Running into my exes mom for some reason just made things harder for me. actually it set me back a little. Cant stop thinking about it and how nice friendly she was to me. Its just so weird for that to have happened...to have run into her. ugh.....she was just so nice to me. And i had completely blocked out my ex for a good few weeks now. And ever since running into her,i just completely lost control over my thoughts. And now I'm jsut letting myself linger on old memories all over again. i feel depressed again.

Like why does this stuff happen to me? Am i reading into things too much? like WHY, why? My ex accidentally liked my picture on instagram 4 months ago, running into my ex's mom of all people. Like does this weird and coincidental stuff happen to other people? like dont get me wrong, seeing her was nice. it really was.....but i cant stop thinking of everything again. I had a nice little break from the over-analyzing.....now its back. I'm never going to get over this, am i

truth is i just still love him very much. I just need to get through it. And i was i had this long talk with myself and i was getting through it.....but then i see his mom. and im just a hot mess right now. im a mess.

i need to STOPP i need to stop with thinking that its the universe or God bringing us together again. i need to stop thinking these things are signs. idk. i just cried earlier a lot.....i just thought about all the memories....and i thought about how much love i have for him...so much love. Enough love to let him live his life without me, enough love to give us space. Enough love to pray for the best for him, even if the best may not be me. I have an immense amount of love for him. I would compensate my own happiness just for his. I can't begin to explain what i feel for him:( i hate this stupid feeling. Just seeing his mom made it exceedingly difficult for me....she was so excited to see me. So sweet to me. I have no idea why that makes me so sad? I have to keep pushing through. its been so damn long now....so damn long. /=

Edited November 26, 2014 by freebird31

[feelymcfeel]

I haven't logged in here for 3 weeks as I thought it was making me worse. I may have to start my own thread...but I came here to say I am no better than 3 weeks ago, even with NC. I am terribly alone, depressed and still suicidal...now my ex has been appearing in my dreams for the past few days and I am not sleeping, either. I'm just tired of everything. I don't see myself getting better or finding love again, ever.

 

You will, I promise.

[sammiexo]

You will, I promise.

 

Thank you <3

 

Today was another bad day..when work is bad I just fall apart. Sigh. Nothing is going right for me right now.

[Chin Up]

Not coping very well today. Woke up at 4:30-ish am because I had a nightmare about him being crazy in love with a new girl already, and way more in love with her than he ever was with me. Literally woke up sobbing and had drooled all over my pillow to make things worse ...lol.

 

Been up since and all day have been wondering how he is. does he miss me? does he think of me? is he regretting things and wondering how to fix things? Is he glad I'm gone and we no longer talk? Does he hope he never sees me again?

 

I keep getting insane urges to text him but I won't. I'd sooner chew my own thumbs off than get rejected anymore.

 

ugh, i feel like an emotional toilet and this crap just keeps swirling around but refuses to go down .

 

Someone take a plunger to me please! *closes my eyes and braces myself*

[JDPT]

I went to a friends gathering literally 3 blocks from where she lives. I made it my business as soon as I left the house to go straight home. I tried to feel pain but I couldnt but oh the memories where there. It's time for me to go to bed.

[Mandy26]

Off work due to injury resurfacing, had nightmares last night. Crappy day - thought of you-going to bed alone- and it didn't seem to phase me too much - moving along - some days are better then others

[freebird31]

maybe its the holiday season...just makes me feel so sad. dont think ive ever really felt sad on a holiday before. last year, yes. this year, i am just so sad inside. at least last year i had my "bff." something about this years holidays, just feels bitter and sad. /: just feel really sad inside. and lonely. Me and my best friend were always there for one another up until last year when she was in that relationship, and she neglected our friendship. I shouldnt play victim. I guess this could have happened to anyone. I just took my life for granted. Before my ex came along, i had such a good life. I didnt even know i was happy. I just had a really good life. I had a best friend and we were more like sisters, i had a bond and friendship with someone most people look for their whole lives. I had it good, and then my ex came along. And my life was at its highest level of happiness. I had never been so happy before. I had everything. I had it all..not only did i have a best friend/ sister, i also now had a boyfriend. My life was at its peak. I remember my birthday when my bff and my boyfriend came over and we celelbrated at my house with my family. I rememberd the feeling of being so...happy. Because i had all these people who i loved, who loved me back all in the same room. I never realized that these were the moments that would mean so much to me. And now....now i dont have a best friend because she neglected out friendship....and now i do not have a boyfriend. And this past year has been so hard. And im just trying to find my way through all of this still. I just dont seem to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I just still feel very heartbroken from it all.

[aMguilts]

not well

my father had a heart attack today

aM

[Itspointless]

A year on this site today and again also her birthday. I totally forgot joining on her birthday

[aMguilts]

well happy b day to her

aM

[aMguilts]

lets roll out a barrel

aM

[freebird31]

I must somehow take control back of my life. I have let outside events control me and my life. I must find a way to be happy again, legitimately happy. Hm don't know where to really begin. Hm I think I may start with going to church this Sunday. Maybe that's a good start

[JDPT]

I had a great time with friends at dinner think think about her once.

[me85]

Doing alright. I know my future is bright. My ex is becoming more and more of a faded memory and it's a pretty incredible feeling. I feel like another love is headed my way. It sounds crazy but I really do feel like I may be on the verge of meeting someone I'm actually interested in dating…shocking. But, oh wait, maybe that's just because of these sentimental holidays. Maybe I'm just wanting to find a date for New Year's and that's it. Ya, that's probably it. Well, who's it going to be???

[anna121]

In limbo right now. It is torture. Even knowing the worst would be better.

[polaske93]

The last few days have been rough. Last week I ran into her couson, and she mentioned that her and her most recent ex just broke up. I slipped up and looked at her facebook only to see her profile picture of her and my friend smiling away. It tore me up, I hate seeing them so happy together, knowing that I didn't make her happy, knowing she cheated on me for almost 9 months, and wouldn't dare post pictures of us. Especially now that the holidays are here, she was supposed to be with me during thanksgiving. And tonight my 8 year old nephew brought her up, and kept saying "you love her!.. you want to marry her!" I had to go into the bathroom for awhile and cry..