StrangerThanFiction Posted October 26, 2014 Posted October 26, 2014 It is important that we stay self-aware and keep our identity in breakups. I could be a little paranoid, but I feel as if my ex laughs whenever she sees me, as if I'm so belittled in her eyes. I wonder what she tells our mutual friends. Thing is, I remember how we couldn't have sex 2 nights in a row because she was raw. Or how sometimes I'd have to go SO slowly to the point of being bored b/c it would hurt her. I remember how I had to constantly wash my sheets because of the lady juices. No matter how small she tries to make me to her friends, I can look at her, and we both know that I've, essentially, conquered her body, and it was easy and boring as well. She knows it. I know it. That's all that matters. We are adults. We dated 2.5 months, 6 weeks into breakup/NC and she can't even look at me. Today, she was in my house, chilling & talking to my roommate. I went out of my room, she didn't leave. I had half a mind to remind her of boundaries, but eh, I decided not to care. My roommate told me she was talking to him about trying to meet boys at clubs at night. I laughed. "HAHA she knows I'm in my room, probably listening. Why can't she just get over it?" I'm trying to accept the fact that a new guy is on his way for her. I don't get out much, so probably not the same for me. It is not a race. I keep telling myself that. Wow dude, your ex sounds like a real piece of work! What a game player!!
lakerman34 Posted October 26, 2014 Posted October 26, 2014 Wow dude, your ex sounds like a real piece of work! What a game player!! There are moments when I think she's still hurting and struggling with getting over me, and frankly, I love that. Then, there are moments when I swear she's completely done with me. 6 weeks of complete, cold NC (once even marching to my room to yell at me about boundaries) -- I don't think she and I are going to talk. Lease is done in May though. I'm moving out as soon as that happens. I may get a nice lay from her later on in the year (she's bipolar, I feel as if my not caring about this situation will just destroy her. She has also seen me dance with other girls at parties -- I've heard she wasn't too fond of it), but other than that, I'm working with what I've got. Just trying to move on and learn a life lesson here: don't eat where you sh*t.
sammiexo Posted October 26, 2014 Posted October 26, 2014 Feeling a little angry and spiteful today. Ugh. Trying to keep my mind busy by focusing on things that make me happy.
mefisto Posted October 27, 2014 Posted October 27, 2014 Mornings are the hardest. I woke up to see if the wound still there, still bringing me the pain. I dont know if it ever will disappear. This is scary.
jonsnuh Posted October 27, 2014 Posted October 27, 2014 A friend of mine accidentally found a picture of my ex through FaceBook (I don't blame him, technology + people = fickle times we live in ), and she hasn't changed in physique at all. Best of yet, she wasn't with anyone (I wouldn't care less if she was). Sounds shallow, but I have no pangs or feelings of wanting to be with her. Instead, I see the physical features and things I disliked being around her... how she smelled, her weird nose, her goofy persona that I always found aloof and uncute. Especially after the breakup, I thought she emitted perfume, I was jealous of her nose, and her being a total klutz was attractive and even adorable. I look at myself, and realized I've come a long way physically to improve myself. Before seeing her again, I was beating myself thinking that I haven't gotten to my goals yet. Instead, if I look at it objectively I've lost 10% body fat, gained 15 pounds of lean muscle, and feel more comfortable than I have been with people. This only makes my workouts all the more desirable. I know I am in the right direction, and I don't want her anymore. Instead, I've weaned myself from her only to focus on myself, which has worked to my advantage. Carry on with NC, my fellow comrades!
ralfgarnett Posted October 27, 2014 Posted October 27, 2014 Feeling confused TBH, the kittys need to go to the vets for their injections but even though I have contacted her a few times still no reply, so I rang her mums house to see if everything was ok but her mum has changed her phone number and I can't get through, what the hell is going on ?, I am worried now that something is wrong and it scares me, I still love my wife and care for her a hell of a lot and don't want to think that there is something wrong with her in any way, I don't like Mondays anyway and I don't like autumn so between all these things its making more confused and agitated
ralfgarnett Posted October 28, 2014 Posted October 28, 2014 Well she dropped me an email she is ok now but been off work sick, she wants to come round later in the week not too sure about it, I know she loves the kittys and wants to see them, a bit of me thinks that I should let her as I would hate not seeing them myself but hells bells she left, I felt healthier yesterday than today, I feel nervous and shaky today for some reason, but still got 2 European holidays to look forward to before the end of the year one of 4 days then another of 7 days, so 11 full days away before sh-tty Christmas starts yuk yuk and f-cking yuk again I hate all that glittery sh-tty tat that modern Christmas is, it makes me want to f-cking puke.
StrangerThanFiction Posted October 29, 2014 Posted October 29, 2014 Today was going pretty good. Then the ex texted me. Now I'm lower than I was even after we first broke up. I feel like my insides are being torn apart. The conversation was just awful on so many levels for me even though it was polite and nothing obviously bad was said, at least on the surface of it. I guess a lot of things just became more clear than I think I really wanted them too. 1)Ex is definitely seeing someone else 2)He was seeing her while we were still together 3)She is so much better than me and worth the ultimate effort while I was barely worth the minimum 4)He is so much better off and so much happier without me 5)He is totally over me 2 months after the split 6)The list goes on but I can't muster the energy to beat myself up with it anymore right now What I can't understand is why if she's so much effing better than me and if he's so over me why he would take the time to even text me. What the eff was the point? Why purposefully try to hurt me? I know I handled it well at that time we were talking, but afterwards I totally broke down and I think I'm on the verge of a panic attack. Nothing is helping or taking the edge off this pain right now and I don't know what to do to cope.
StrangerThanFiction Posted October 30, 2014 Posted October 30, 2014 Today started out pretty bad. My chest ached all day, which could have been due to the massive amount of cigarettes I smoked and also to my heart breaking all over again every time I thought back on the conversation the ex and I had last night. Work was torture and all I wanted to do was go home and cry and it seemed to drag on for years. The pain was nonstop and all I could do was beg and plead and pray for just some tiny relief from it that wouldn't come. I felt like I was going to go insane. Then a friend of mine I hadn't talked to for awhile called me out of the blue and I told him what had happened and he put things into a different perspective and the pain let up some because of it. I'm feeling...okay now. I'm exhausted from the emotional strain I had to deal with today and tonight I'm sure I'll sleep much better than I did last night. Hopefully with a good night's sleep things will seem better tomorrow. I wish I knew how long this was going to take for me to heal from. I want to move on with my life and not think about him and hurt anymore. I wish I could just erase him from my mind sometimes. But I guess I wouldn't be the person I am now in that case and I like who I am.
Heartbroken Eagle Posted November 1, 2014 Posted November 1, 2014 (edited) Got a bit emotional tonight. Remembered the fun we had on Halloween as a family, now that's history. As I said before, I miss being a family but I don't miss my ex... Or at least the recent version of her!!!! Got to move on.... Edited November 1, 2014 by Heartbroken Eagle
Dante311 Posted November 1, 2014 Posted November 1, 2014 Not well. I was with someone else last night. (I'm pathetic) and all Icould think about was her...
megsheaven Posted November 1, 2014 Posted November 1, 2014 It's been 2 months since me and my ex broke up, we've had contact now and then through texts. Get this...........he text me the other day to wish me and my family well AND to tell me that he has met someone else!!! He said it was so out of the blue, that he's taking things slow, doesn't want it be disappointed again. Why in hell would I want to know this? I was doing fine until he sent me that message. Why would he tell me that? Is he trying to hurt me? Or is he telling me has moved on and I was so easy to replace? Also at the end of his message he put a love heart, is the heart for her or for me?! I just can't jump into a new relationship, I need to heal before giving myself to someone new. It's actually like he has punched me in the gut. I feel absolutely sick! This was my reply to his message.............. "Wow! Can't believe you could meet someone so quick or that you would even tell me that, but I hope she's the one for you. It's exactly what I needed to hear to move on, so thanks. Good luck with everything and goodbye".
sammiexo Posted November 2, 2014 Posted November 2, 2014 Pain & tears reappeared yesterday night. Didn't break NC, but I went online snooping, which I didn't do since last Saturday or Sunday. Really disappointed in myself. I know better.
lakerman34 Posted November 2, 2014 Posted November 2, 2014 (edited) It's been 2 months since me and my ex broke up, we've had contact now and then through texts. Get this...........he text me the other day to wish me and my family well AND to tell me that he has met someone else!!! He said it was so out of the blue, that he's taking things slow, doesn't want it be disappointed again. Why in hell would I want to know this? I was doing fine until he sent me that message. Why would he tell me that? Is he trying to hurt me? Or is he telling me has moved on and I was so easy to replace? Also at the end of his message he put a love heart, is the heart for her or for me?! I just can't jump into a new relationship, I need to heal before giving myself to someone new. It's actually like he has punched me in the gut. I feel absolutely sick! This was my reply to his message.............. "Wow! Can't believe you could meet someone so quick or that you would even tell me that, but I hope she's the one for you. It's exactly what I needed to hear to move on, so thanks. Good luck with everything and goodbye". Same boat. Mine may even be worse. My ex shares a duplex with me. Lives right on the other side of the wall. If I walk outside my bedroom, knock on the wall, that's her bedroom. I found out she's seeing someone. Not on purpose, but since we live in such close proximity, it's rather easy to figure out. However, they went on a first date Tuesday night, and she was gone for 5.5 hours. I don't know if they've been on a date since, but my gut reaction tells me he wasn't into her (as a guy, I pick up girls for dates on Tinder and go out with them for 5.5 hours if I'm looking to get laid -- she's not the type, but if she did, it was a one time thing and she probably hates herself for it right now). She's chopped off her hair (typical for a girl just newly single), and her Instagram account is filled with selfies of her trying to look sexy. Again, something that isn't really her. She'll get a lot of hits because of her amazing ability to add filters on Instagram, but we have to be cautious not to hold our exes on a pedestal, or sympathize with them. **** on them as much as we can. My ex had a serious case of acne that I saw past, but no other guy will. My ex was bipolar, no guy wants to date bipolar. During those 5.5 hours, that guy probably thought "ew. No. She didn't look like that in her pictures. Eh, lets see if I can get my dick sucked from this though. I'll tolerate her for tonight." I'm seeing a girl soon. Last 2 nights she had overtime at work, but she's going to try to make it to my place tonight. If they rub their new significant other in your face, all you say is "I'm happy for you." If they continue to do it, you say, "thanks! This is EXACTLY what I needed to move on! My friends did always tell me that I have a problem dating down. Now that all finally makes sense!" Delete them from your life (physical and digital) completely. You WILL love again, and the new guy/girl will make the past guys/girls pale in comparison. You'll wonder what the hell you were doing with them. Edited November 2, 2014 by lakerman34
lawbstar Posted November 2, 2014 Posted November 2, 2014 It has been a week since I last texted and called her. I have had some really tough times, but I have gotten through it. This breakup is definitely not as hard to deal with as the one before this. Maybe I did not love her as much as I could have loved someone. Maybe our relationship was bound to end. I cannot wait for my loneliness to go away though.
candie13 Posted November 2, 2014 Posted November 2, 2014 three weeks of no contact for me. Sundays are the worst for me, too much time to think. I have allowed myself to feel the pain and bring it out. It is an excruciating exercise but it has to be done, I must let it all out. The longer I bottle it in, the longer I'm carrying it around. I was doing relatively well until a mate of mine mentioned my ex to me, in a conversation. I took a mental note and changed my mate's name in "name - DO NOT CONTACT HIM just yet". I cried my eyes out. Then, pushed myself to send him a good bye letter (never to be sent, of course) - stupid exercise. But.... when writing it, I've actually realized I am pissed and upset. That what happened is NOT fair. I hear anger is the next stage. I cannot wait for it to come, I feel like I am still battling with grief. no, I lied. It's not anger. it's disdain. I have emotionally distanced myself from him, now that times passes, I start to see through the smoke he blowing in my face. Start seeing the facts. His actions, his reactions. And it's very ugly. Unfair, completely unfair. I cannot stand cruel people, that makes me sick to my stomach. in the evening, I stopped the pity party and worked a bit on myself and on my abandonment issues. I am making huge progress in understanding some of my instinctive reactions.
Targetlock Posted November 2, 2014 Posted November 2, 2014 today much better, I have almost let this go I am giving it one last chance and then letting go, sometimes its just too hard to try and hold on to these feelings and just accept its over, no matter how good the times were her loss, she gave up on it, hopefully I can someone who actually wants me to be there for them and wont take as long to find them
Day.One Posted November 2, 2014 Posted November 2, 2014 Not well. Today would have been our 23rd wedding anniversary. Tried to fill up the day, and keep as busy as possible, but eventually it got to me.
Brimstone Posted November 3, 2014 Posted November 3, 2014 This is gonna be a rough month. The month of my ex' birthday AND the month of our breakup 2 years ago. Probably the only reason I remember it and why it makes it hurt...
birdy1105 Posted November 4, 2014 Posted November 4, 2014 28 days since breakup of my 3+ year relationship, 1st day of true NC (I haven't contacted him since d-day, but I have been checking his Twitter). Some days it's okay but it's been a month and I still get episodes of physical agony. Is this normal? I'm hoping that if I could just stop seeing how he is online it can help, but withdrawal is painful.
ComingInHot Posted November 4, 2014 Posted November 4, 2014 It's been 11 hours since my D papers arrived all signed and final. Not that I'm keeping track or anything... and the worst that has happened is I threw up. So I think I'm doing pretty good then, right?
somedude81 Posted November 4, 2014 Posted November 4, 2014 Wow, I've now been single for 11 months. I've had absolutely no luck with replacing Sophia. I was missing her so much today. Of course there is no point in that as I'm never going to see her again, she might as well be dead.
freebird31 Posted November 7, 2014 Posted November 7, 2014 I feel lonely lately. With the dust finally settling. Being 6 months since contact with my once best friend. And 1 year and 6 months since the break up with my ex, the dust has finally settled. I don't feel pain anymore...just loneliness. Lately a lot. I still continue to grieve and mourn over my ex...I haven't heard from him in very long...haven't had an actual conversation with him in a year...haven't heard his voice in over a year as well. It seems I will never see him again, and I have horrible coping skills with letting go. I did all the things that everyone on love shack said to do...I did the no contact thing we never remained friends. Now...just feels like he's dead. Only head not. But it almost feels like I'm grieving over the loss of someone. Still managing to get by. I miss him. I hope one day in the future I will see him again and we can catch up because I really miss him. Not the relationship, I miss him as a person. He was special to me as a person and my family loved him...he's someone special I will never forget I matter how hard I may try. can't seem to let go. All this time apart ...only Makes me miss him more. I always grieve. They say "out of sight, out of mind" but that saying doesn't seen to apply to me. I miss his personality and spirit dearly. I'm just starting to believe I'll always mourn for the loss of such a special person in my life who I loved very much. I just hope I can see him one day, and it won't hurt. There's just certain beautiful souls you encounter in your lifetime, and he was one of the few beautiful souls I can't seem to forget. I truly wish him nothing but happiness. And I pray that he is living in contentment. Although he hurt me, I have to say he had a beautiful heart and was a loyal friend. I'll never forget the joy or smiles he brought to his friends and loved ones. I miss him very much. I miss his soul. 1
HereAndThenGone Posted November 7, 2014 Posted November 7, 2014 I am having the sh*ttiest few days. I don't know what exactly is making it worse. I feel like I'm on the verge of some kind of melt down. All avenues in my life feel like they are in disarray.
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