sammiexo Posted October 15, 2014 Posted October 15, 2014 Lots of Kevin Hart. Haha I kept playing 'Frost Without You" and Robin Thicke's rebuttal song. Today for me was not so great, I am just not happy. Work was super chaotic so that kept my mind off my ex, mostly. But now I'm crying again. Sigh.
Xemyd Posted October 16, 2014 Posted October 16, 2014 I was a total creep today and looked up my ex's last name in our system at work and he's in there. Stupid move, but I'm ok with it.
Herpderp Posted October 16, 2014 Posted October 16, 2014 today, i feel like i have take gigantic steps backwards. its been close to a month since the breakup, and 6 days since we last met to talk about the relationship. she was certain that she didnt want to get back together, and told me to move on... if we were really the best for each others future we will find out way back to each other eventually. been going through nc for 6 days and i felt myself getting stronger... till today. the urge to contact her is so strong, and its getting harder and harder to fight it...
freebird31 Posted October 16, 2014 Posted October 16, 2014 I have made my decision. I want to move on, and move forward. I dont want to dwell on past times of my ex any longer. I have come to understand that I am not ready to date. Partly because I am not ready to let go of him. Well, im ready now. i want to let go now. Im not ready to date. But there WILL come a time when i have let go already. Im moving forward with my life. It doesnt matter anymore how good of a relationship i thought it was, its time to just move on. 1
Justaguy30 Posted October 16, 2014 Posted October 16, 2014 Well its been a rough ride but I think I am finally really truly getting over her. I mean she wasn't right for me anyway, she was just so damn cute and fun to be around. The problem was she just didn't want a relationship and I did. I wanted to marry her and grow old together. In any event I feel that I am healing although am still in a pretty deep depression and its hard because I have recently cut off a few friends for exhibiting similar behaviors as my ex. Its not that I don't like these people I just can't be around it because I find it to upsetting. I do however believe that if I actually try to get over this and work hard I will wind up with a pretty good life. Today is the day I stop wallowing in my own misery and do the things I need to do to move forward because no one else is going to do it for me. Cheers.
Seraque Posted October 16, 2014 Posted October 16, 2014 Vented to a couple people tonight, which made me feel slightly better. Also cried - that helps too. Coping is no joke. Lots of work to cope with the aftermath of dealing with a**holes. Note to self - be very selective in who you trust with your heart next time. There are a**holes at work and in life but I cannot have one in my life as a SO. But at the same freaking time I want to be with him as well. Coping is soooo hard!
Justaguy30 Posted October 16, 2014 Posted October 16, 2014 I have been flip flopping since we broke up. I go from feeling good to being in pain but it seems like the painful times are less painful these days. I think the hardest part is I wanted to spend my life with this woman and we don't even talk or anything. I realize now that she is evil and I want nothing to do with that in my life but somewhere inside of me that dream is some what alive. Its still painful thinking about what she did to me. It just wasn't okay and it was so very hurtful. It made it especially painful that she never even really said sorry. She kind of did but it wasn't sorry I did these things it was sorry that happened which is really pathetic. I am going to work really hard to get my life back on track and hopefully in the next 10 months I have to spend in this horrible town I will fully heal and become the person I once was.
Cupid's Puppet Posted October 16, 2014 Posted October 16, 2014 (edited) 10characte Edited October 16, 2014 by Cupid's Puppet wrong thread
Justaguy30 Posted October 16, 2014 Posted October 16, 2014 Some days I wish I was a woman, they have it so easy in the dating world. There will always be another guy waiting wanting them. Most guys don't have it easy like that. I also wish I was more like my ex. Easily able to turn off my feelings for someone and just move on. I can't do that though
Mandy26 Posted October 16, 2014 Posted October 16, 2014 feeling numb...and unmotivated I think Im in a funk...wanting to call...but knowing it is not a good thing, reflecting upon the things that were wrong in the so called relationship... bummed out
sammiexo Posted October 17, 2014 Posted October 17, 2014 Today would have been our 10 year anniversary. Right now I am drinking wine & watching football. Think that was a good choice.
Day.One Posted October 17, 2014 Posted October 17, 2014 She keeps finding excuses to email me about 'stuff' and reasons to need to come by the house. Nothing urgent, nothing that 'needs' attention. I think she's trying to reach out. Sorry hun, you made the choice to leave. 2
Xemyd Posted October 17, 2014 Posted October 17, 2014 Some days I wish I was a woman, they have it so easy in the dating world. There will always be another guy waiting wanting them. Most guys don't have it easy like that. I also wish I was more like my ex. Easily able to turn off my feelings for someone and just move on. I can't do that though I don't have it easy. I actually have a very hard time finding a guy, meeting guys is next to impossible for me.
edgygirl Posted October 17, 2014 Posted October 17, 2014 I really thought I was over it... but had such a terrible week It all started with my great plan last weekend to make my hot former lover who's back in town my lover again, just as a rebound thing to move on... We went to my friend's bday. He looked so beautiful. Yet I got drunk, I couldn't do it. I think I sabotaged it cause I couldn't stomach it And then I dreamt about the ex quite a few nights this week. Woke up in hours such as 3am and 5am because of the nightmares. I try to forget during the day and then he pops up in nightmares. I can't take it anymore. I try to forget but every song makes me think of him. Everything reminds me of us and what could have been. I just realized today he was the first guy I fell for in a long long time I don't think I have fallen for anyone in a more significant way since my breakup to my ex (husband) about 5 years ago. Right now at this moment it's the first time I'm crying since our breakup 4 months ago. Oh my I hate this. I thought I was over. Why can't I stop thinking? Why things remind me of him? He's not even all that. We were bad together in the end. Why can't I move on? I want so much to erase him from my head. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind... Each pray’r accepted, and each wish resign’d Please let me see the light. Please let me move on.
HereAndThenGone Posted October 17, 2014 Posted October 17, 2014 2 weeks today since we last spoke. I can't stop finding pictures of him on Instagram. He looks happy. And I'm miserable. Why do I do this to myself? Such a mess today.
JDPT Posted October 18, 2014 Posted October 18, 2014 Not too bad today possibly because it has bee a rather busy day. Already making plan for tomorrow. I'm starting to see that I don't like the downtime weekends bring. I just need to keep myself occupied with productive activities.
Xiane Posted October 18, 2014 Posted October 18, 2014 so far so good, but there are times i miss her...damn feels
StrangerThanFiction Posted October 18, 2014 Posted October 18, 2014 Better today, I suppose. Trying to figure out what to do with my life. My wheels are spinning but going nowhere. Sometimes I just want to sell everything I own and move to a different country, just for the hell of it. Shock my system out of pause and into forward mode. My entire RS with the ex felt like this. Like I was always waiting for something. For him to come home, for him to propose, for us to go on a trip together...hell, for us to do anything together. Just always waiting, hoping things would get better if I just held on long enough. I guess once the BU happened the chains holding me down were cut. I can do anything I want now. It's exciting and freeing, but scary. I don't even know where to start. I allowed my life be defined by my RS for so long I don't know what I want to do, just for me. How freaking sad, 28 years old and completely directionless.
Jet Lag Posted October 18, 2014 Posted October 18, 2014 Better today, I suppose. Trying to figure out what to do with my life. My wheels are spinning but going nowhere. Sometimes I just want to sell everything I own and move to a different country, just for the hell of it. Shock my system out of pause and into forward mode. My entire RS with the ex felt like this. Like I was always waiting for something. For him to come home, for him to propose, for us to go on a trip together...hell, for us to do anything together. Just always waiting, hoping things would get better if I just held on long enough. I guess once the BU happened the chains holding me down were cut. I can do anything I want now. It's exciting and freeing, but scary. I don't even know where to start. I allowed my life be defined by my RS for so long I don't know what I want to do, just for me. How freaking sad, 28 years old and completely directionless. Hey I get the moving thing. I would love to do that. Be totally out of his space because everything here reminds me of him. However, the kids won't let me! Maybe, if you are not ready yet, don't look at the really dramatic changes...just do little things for yourself...things you may not have done when you were in the relationship...you can always build up to bigger things when you are ready.
Jet Lag Posted October 18, 2014 Posted October 18, 2014 I really thought I was over it... but had such a terrible week Right now at this moment it's the first time I'm crying since our breakup 4 months ago. Oh my I hate this. I thought I was over. Why can't I stop thinking? Why things remind me of him? He's not even all that. We were bad together in the end. Why can't I move on? I want so much to erase him from my head. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind... Each pray’r accepted, and each wish resign’d Please let me see the light. Please let me move on. Even the thinking you were over it sounds like a really positive step to me, even if you do feel you have slipped backwards. At this stage, I can't wait for it to get easier, even some of the time...and it sounds like you have been having those times. Enjoy the good times and just endure the bad times knowing they will pass (or so I am informed, hehehe) 1
sammiexo Posted October 18, 2014 Posted October 18, 2014 Yesterday was good, today I am sitting here crying again. I need to stay busy. I hate sitting home all alone. It kills me.
richburn Posted October 18, 2014 Posted October 18, 2014 After a few not bad days, I knew today was going to be tough my ex is going on a date even though I know she's still grieving. Had to resort to valium and I was getting panic attacks. She will be on the date right now. How do you put a positive frame on that.
JDPT Posted October 18, 2014 Posted October 18, 2014 Not too bad today. I really haven't done much today but it's going by rather quickly. I should be heading out to the sauna in a few. As each day goes by in starting to embrace acceptance more and more and surrendering to it. I have no control over a million things and that's perfectly fine. Forward is the only way to go. 2
Shields boy Posted October 18, 2014 Posted October 18, 2014 Had a chance encounter with me ex today. First time our eyes have Locked for 6 years. She was with her boyfriend, so I quickly turned my back to her. Was kind of a kick to the nuts after all this work I have done moving forward these past 18 weeks.
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