Xemyd Posted September 4, 2014 Posted September 4, 2014 Since Monday when I saw him outside for all of half a second, for the first time in almost a year (10 more days...) I feel like I've restarted the whole process. I miss him constantly now, but I'm starting to be angry with him. 1
Cupid's Puppet Posted September 5, 2014 Posted September 5, 2014 I felt like I had a knife in my back today. I know I won't die from this, but I wish I could. Then I could escape the pain.
W101 Posted September 5, 2014 Posted September 5, 2014 Surprisingly strong, though my heart is broken, it won't always be, sure my relationship was 6 years long, sure she's dating a rebound right now, but in the greater scheme of things, maybe there's a coco tanned afro girl waiting for me to find her, just maybe 2
Bella2 Posted September 5, 2014 Posted September 5, 2014 Feeling a bit sad, a bit lonely. BU 2 weeks now. I have deleted all his text messages, his emails, but just now I restarted reading all the chats we had on FB. Four weeks ago he still called me "his Love" and all that. That hurts. I just deleted everything, to not be tempted anymore to torture myself. Going out tonight. Don't feel like it, but it's better than staying at home, reading LoveShack all night I guess.
freebird31 Posted September 6, 2014 Posted September 6, 2014 I feel so good. Met someone online and have been talking for almost a month now. We haven't met in person but I love how it's going so far. We text each other all day long every day. I forgot how good it feels to chat with someone. He's so funny. And oh soo handsome. We get along so well! I like that we are taking it ooober slow and we haven't made any plans to meet up yet. It feels nice to just have a pen pal. I love where this is at right now. And I love the pace we are going. Some may say u should meet up with your online date right away, but I disagree. I love that I am getting to know him this way. No pressure. Just a basic friendship for now. I don't now where this will go but it feels so good to just talk to someone. Plus I never think about my ex anymore, EVER. After a year and 4 months broken up, I'm OVER it. Meeting this guy online has probably been one of the best things that has happened to me. We connect pretty amazingly so far, haven't laughed this hard in ages just texting someone. Loving it! 3
Xemyd Posted September 7, 2014 Posted September 7, 2014 Since I've been a little set back this past week from seeing him briefly I have decided to give myself until September 14th. That's the day we broke up last year so it's the perfect day for it. I'm allowed to hope and wish for him to come back until 11:59pm on September 14th and after that nothing. I will no longe allow myself to think of him more than 1 second, just enough time to remind myself that he's dead to me. If he somehow miraculously contacts me after the 14th it's too late. Truthfully it's been too late for a long time but he's had plenty of chances. I know some will say to just drop it now, but setting a deadline has really helped me. It always helps that I really doubt he'll ever contact me again.
siri Posted September 7, 2014 Posted September 7, 2014 I'm not coping, it's day 9... why can't I just let go of hope. It would hurt a lot less if I could just let go. 1
Arient Posted September 7, 2014 Posted September 7, 2014 Doing quite well lately, but cried again today. At least, the last time I cried was like 3 weeks ago. The time intervals are getting longer, which is good. However, I'm a little bit scared to think about how long it will take to forget him, or at least, force my mind to set him aside, as I still think about him every day.
Justaguy30 Posted September 7, 2014 Posted September 7, 2014 I am to the point where I realize there is no point in trying any longer. She was someone that I thought very highly of for many years and then learned that she is crazy and I feel bad for her. I would love to be friends and be able to see the kids and hangout but that is not possible because I still have feelings for her and probably always will. After the things she did to me I can't believe i still care about her. I was a jerk but come on. So I have given up all hope of even being friends at some point. Maybe one day we will be able to talk but it will likely be many years from now. I loved her as a person, we had so much fun together and I will miss that for along time. I think I am doing better. 1
Itspointless Posted September 8, 2014 Posted September 8, 2014 I feel much better, almost there yet. But the thought of her still can make me sigh ... Last year I have relived things I never hoped to experience again. It made me realize that an unexpected break-up due to illness and her being avoidant (hence her decision to break-up) can trigger things I did not want to face again. But it was expected as the common denominator was illness. I was expecting joy, but got depression and a lot of lessons to learn: that's life I guess.
MrWorkinProgress Posted September 8, 2014 Posted September 8, 2014 Today, it changes almost by the minute. I'm about 5 weeks out and the first two weeks were absolute hell. Then things started to get better. Then this weekend she had a going away party (I was neither invited nor would I have attended) and called me to discuss her move-out and move back across the country in three weeks, and that was like hitting "reset." Now, I feel mostly like I did in the first two weeks, but it really does change hour to hour. I hope that's a good sign that this time is a shorter cycle.
Cupid's Puppet Posted September 10, 2014 Posted September 10, 2014 I've had this 24-hour headache. Is no contact supposed to make you feel like you're going to die any day now? If so, when will the pain end? I want so badly to call, but I don't have anything to say. Then there is the high possibility that he will not answer, like really high possibility.
LostConfused123 Posted September 10, 2014 Posted September 10, 2014 I've had this 24-hour headache. Is no contact supposed to make you feel like you're going to die any day now? If so' date=' when will the pain end? I want so badly to call, but I don't have anything to say. Then there is the high possibility that he will not answer, like really high possibility.[/quote'] Well it did for me anyway (felt like I could die any minute) Seriously compared it to cutting off a limb. First 4 or 5 weeks, pure HELL! After that it gets easier. So sorry for your pain and hope you heal as quick as possible. ((hugs!)) 1
me85 Posted September 10, 2014 Posted September 10, 2014 (edited) Dos equis, dos equis, dos equis…music, music, music, LS, LS, LS, movies, movies, movies, video games, video games, video games, work, work, work…and repeat... Edited September 10, 2014 by me85
Xemyd Posted September 10, 2014 Posted September 10, 2014 Dreams aren't real, I know, but they still affect me. I feel like crap today after dreaming that he has a girlfriend.
gj13 Posted September 10, 2014 Posted September 10, 2014 Last week i confirmed that he has a girlfriend which kinda set me back a little It baffled me to heart that he started this relationship a mere week after we last saw each other. So they've been dating for say, 3 months, officially. UGH.
Sixandout Posted September 10, 2014 Posted September 10, 2014 Hmmm. Seem to be having a little step back this week. Keep thinking about my ex and wondering what he's up to. Still shocked that he hasn't been in touch to see if all is well - guess that makes me a massive mug.
Cupid's Puppet Posted September 11, 2014 Posted September 11, 2014 Frick I just broke No Contact. Now this crap starts all over for me. The little dignity I had I squandered it. I hope the weekend hurries up and come.
Arient Posted September 11, 2014 Posted September 11, 2014 I broke NC today by checking his FB and even liked his status and links. It was not that bad as I feared. I just want to test to see how far I managed to reach in my recovery, with the possible cost of being thrown back to step 1. But I did not feel that much and that sad as I expected myself to be. But I guess I need to be more disciplined from now, as despite all the long time not seeing each other or communicating, I can still feel his huge impact on me. I still miss him and honestly, still love him, but I can feel like the readiness to move on also increased.
hedyo Posted September 11, 2014 Posted September 11, 2014 7 weeks since the break-up and our last communication today. I feel pretty good 95% of the time. The one thing that bugs me is that I am still so triggered by reminders of my ex. If I accidentally see his icon or Facebook, or I see one of his friends on the street, or if one of my friends mentions that they saw him, I just feel this really intense physical anxiety. I'm wondering if I've focused so hard on NC that I've turned him into a kind of bogeyman in my head. Like some part of my brain thinks that if I see him or speak to him it would actually kill me. I usually manage to get over this anxiousness fairly quickly, but I wish I could see a picture of him and just think "Oh, there's that guy I used to date" rather than having all these alarm bells go off. It just takes time, I guess.
Itspointless Posted September 12, 2014 Posted September 12, 2014 I will always be sad and disappointed that she gave up what we promised to be. She admitted I still was very important to her, that she was developing a lot (!) of feelings for me, but there was that but: 'I do not want to deal with my problems with you or my friends'. For me in the end that is the most important thing, not only sharing happy times, but being there for each-other when we need it the most. I am still so disappointed about that, that I can't even find words for it. Life is returning to normal, whatever that means as this (again) has changed me and I once again have became used to this reality.
Bella2 Posted September 12, 2014 Posted September 12, 2014 Fell for a bread crumb, which made me break the NC, which lead to emails being sent between him and me, which basically made me feel worse. As of today, I'm restarting NC. But for the moment I'm feeling quite down.
Xemyd Posted September 12, 2014 Posted September 12, 2014 I've been asked to go for coffee by a guy, this is the third guy from online dating to ask. I haven't gone with any of them and I keep putting it off. I have absolutely no desire to go. I don't know if it's just me being anti social or if I'm just not ready.
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