hedyo Posted August 28, 2014 Posted August 28, 2014 Today marks five weeks since the break-up. I'm finding it harder now than I did a couple of weeks ago. Probably because I expected him to reach out and he didn't. I guess we will talk again as friends some day, but I don't think he will ever change his mind about the relationship. I think it's time for me to make an active choice to move on and let go completely. Using this much emotional energy on someone who doesn't feel the same way about me is a complete waste. I need to focus on my own life instead. 2
rdaya0 Posted August 29, 2014 Posted August 29, 2014 6-7 years dating I am 25. Alot of girls trying to get in between us. 2nd break up. Second chance lasted 7 months, currently at 1.5 months NC. Doing better accepting my mistakes
Heartbroken Eagle Posted August 29, 2014 Posted August 29, 2014 Now reached 18 months since I split with my ex after 12 years together. Was doing ok, gone through the anger phase and even having better relations with the ex for the sakes of our son. Then last night my son dropped a bombshell that his mum is getting married in a couple of months time. Unexpectedly I have taken this news badly. I really don't know why. When I think of the lies, betrayal and abuse I received from her over the last couple of years of our relationship, I should be rejoicing, but for some reason this news has really hurt.
Christophe Posted August 29, 2014 Posted August 29, 2014 Feel flat today. It's been 10 weeks since the break up now. I went to my first salsa class last night (something me and my ex-girlfriend always wanted to do together). I enjoyed it but afterwards I felt so empty. I wished I was dancing with Andrea so bad. I missed dancing with her. I felt like I should be dancing with her. I think I must have dreamed about her again cos I woke up thinking about her and don't feel too optimistic today.
elseaacych Posted August 29, 2014 Posted August 29, 2014 (edited) Inadvertently today found out that my ex got dumped by the girl he left me for. Not gonna lie, it made my heart sing. Somehow, I felt validated by the whole thing. Then I felt like crap because schadenfreude... My bro showed me my ex's fb page after the fact, and I saw that my changed his name to an old gaelic spelling of his name. Looks like alphabet soup, to be honest. Somehow, that put even more distance between us. It's like he isn't even that person I knew once upon a time. And that's okay, because I need to further disassociate myself. I have mixed feelings about this. Edited August 29, 2014 by elseaacych
somedude81 Posted August 30, 2014 Posted August 30, 2014 I just finished watching Despicable Me in 3D on my new projector. Everything looks great and then for some reason the little girls do ballet. Then they do a recital and it's Swan Lake. Instantly I think of my ex who did ballet for most of her life and was one of the leads in Swan Lake. All I could think about was how much I miss her and that I really wish I could have seen her dance. Coming up on nine months and I still miss her like crazy.
Lalocket Posted August 30, 2014 Posted August 30, 2014 Today is a little easier than the last few. Realising that I'm going to be OK without him and I no longer have to make the sacrifices I was for him anymore. Went on a date last night with an ex lover, felt happy and confident even though it wasn't sexual or anything like that. Just attention/distraction has kept me OK today (less anxiety, less panicky and eating slightly more). 1
Shields boy Posted August 30, 2014 Posted August 30, 2014 11 weeks since my heartbreak. Been here before and all pain passes eventually. Just need to rationalise the mind which should take a couple of more weeks. Stay strong people as we only live once. It will get better.
hedyo Posted August 30, 2014 Posted August 30, 2014 Today has been up and down. I inadvertently saw a new picture of the ex yesterday on a forum (yes, I need to stay away from that site). This led to me checking out his Facebook page for the first time in weeks, and being clumsy and tipsy I accidentally "liked" one of his pictures. Nooo! Five weeks of NC down the drain! Needless to say that I felt AWFUL afterwards, and experienced probably the strongest urges I've had to contact him. Fortunately I went for a walk instead, and promised myself I'd sleep on it. I felt pretty depressed this morning, but as the day has gone on, I'm starting to find the whole incident pretty funny. So I goofed up. Big deal. It doesn't really matter what he thinks of me at this point anyway. At least I didn't beg him to meet me for coffee so I could cry and talk about my feelings. I really don't need to discuss my feelings with someone who didn't care enough to stick around.
freebird31 Posted August 31, 2014 Posted August 31, 2014 (edited) I have anger issues. Been talking to this guy for two weeks now everyday. He would initiate the conversations almost everyday. until these past few days he got really distant. Took days to get back to my messages. Today he responded back with "yep." WTF? Why even text a person if you dont want to even text more than one effing word or you dont want to text. SO annoyed. why do i let this stuff bother me? I have NO IDEA. F the benefit of the doubt. Siding with my irrational anger tonight. THANKS. Edited August 31, 2014 by freebird31
Lalocket Posted August 31, 2014 Posted August 31, 2014 Not a good night tonight. Day was fine, finding myself reflecting tonight. Not able to put things out of mind even though they have been out of sight for a while now. Hoping to see a light at the end of the tunnel but can't see anything yet. Every part of me hurts even though I'm no longer crying. I'm completely empty inside and my chest physically aches. Hoping things get easier and my anxiety calms down. Feeling like I never mattered and I never will.
Amy74 Posted September 1, 2014 Posted September 1, 2014 No great today...checked his FB page...which I realize is breaking no contact but sometimes I can't help myself. I saw a post which indicates that he has a new girlfriend. An old and ugly girlfriend...which makes sense because he's old and bald!!! I'm spinning out and this really sucks. So what if he has a new girlfriend?!? I clearly don't want him anymore. I've moved on...new boyfriend who is crazy about me, great in bed, great with my kid, wants to marry me, who I love... I feel like I'm losing my mind. I don't want him anymore...really don't. I think about the last few months of our relationship and I don't want to go back there. I wasn't happy, it wasn't fun, and I just wanted OUT. I saw his FB posts from the past month and I'm glad that I'm not part of that life anymore...all that grandiose bull****. She gets to put up with all that now...the ego stroking, the manic midnight calls, the family drama. I feel like screaming. Help...is this reaction normal or do I have a personality disorder?!?!
Kid_Charlemange Posted September 1, 2014 Posted September 1, 2014 Saw you yesterday at the party. You looked great. As always. That laugh. That smile. Those long legs. It was nice of you to invite me to your Halloween party... at least, I *think* it was an invitation; you mentioned the date, and the theme. You still have me blocked of FB and even Linkedin, so it's hard to know what you're up to these days. I never wanted to be enemies. I know we can't really be friends, at least, not yet, but why enemies? We were so good together. I wonder if your animosity towards me has blocked out those good times entirely. Or, maybe, sometimes, do you smile at about those great two years we had? I miss you.
Always Pondering Posted September 1, 2014 Posted September 1, 2014 I found out today that she took a visit overseas to France with her boyfriend and I'd be lying if I said that didn't hurt. Tonight's going to be a rough night, that I can already tell. For some reason, I find myself comparing their relationship with mine and I feel like I failed already. I suppose today's one of those rare days where I wish I would receive a breadcrumb even though I know I won't and it wouldn't actually do anything. Well, I guess it's a good time to get out those desserts and watch some Netflix. 1
Xemyd Posted September 1, 2014 Posted September 1, 2014 So I guess I should post about this. It's been almost a year since we broke up, 13 days away. I have not seen him since I walked out his door that day, we have exchanged a few texts, but they were 10 months ago. Today, on my way to the park I saw him. He lives very close to me and I have to go past his house anytime I go somewhere. He hasn't been home for almost a year, working out of town so he only came home occasionally. He was home today, probably because of the holiday. I won't lie, seeing him made me want to throw up. It's confusing, I've been amazing for months. Totally happy, totally over him, or so I thought. 2
sickoflove11 Posted September 2, 2014 Posted September 2, 2014 I am happy being friends with my ex but I still don't know where we really stand. He seems to be pulling away lately. We text most days and he always talks about hanging out but he is always with his friends. I think he is done initiating things and that's fine but I don't think I could ever initiate it because he's already with his friends 24/7. If this is how he wants it that is fine with me but I have a feeling things would be different if I met someone knew.. I think I am ready for someone new but I am honestly afraid of losing a good friend in my ex. I guess it is a risk I have to take!
Justaguy30 Posted September 2, 2014 Posted September 2, 2014 The last year of my life has been really hard and although I know how far I have come with healing I still have a ways to go. I need to focus on getting things done in my life and stop wasting so much energy thinking about her. I can think about her for the next 20 years but that won't bring her back or make anything feel better. Today I am kinda sad I guess, I have anxiety attacks sometimes thinking about the past and her which sucks. Sometimes I desperately want to talk to her but I can't. She wants nothing to do with me because I was mean but in my defense I had a right and a reason to be really pissed off. Coping is going alright and I feel that I am in the stage of regret and starting to accept things for what they are which is really hard because I loved her enough to never cheat or lie to her ever and would have spent my life with her. The problem was she is a horrible person.
Heatemyheart89 Posted September 2, 2014 Posted September 2, 2014 Day one of NC,miss speaking to him.But he didn't miss me enough to be with me so I guess it is wasted emotion. 1
Xemyd Posted September 2, 2014 Posted September 2, 2014 I didn't want to let it bother me, seeing him yesterday, but I just can't get him out of my head now. I want to see him again, but properly, really get a good look at him. We only just drove past, was just a quick glimpse. Today isn't going to be any better, my mind is already flooded by him. It's sick how much time I have spent on thoughts of him. Thoughts of someone who doesn't deserve any effort from me. I wish I hadn't seen him because now I'm stuck wanting him to call.
hedyo Posted September 2, 2014 Posted September 2, 2014 Today I got offered my absolute dream job. My ex, meanwhile, is struggling to get any job. I'm not even feeling particularly vindictive towards him, but living well truly is the best revenge! 1
Amy74 Posted September 3, 2014 Posted September 3, 2014 Three months out and I'm still here posting. A while back I thought...wow that was easy--I'm over him and moving on. Moved on I have, but over him--I am not. (And suddenly I've turned into Yoda? *WTF*) I have a great boyfriend, great job (got a raise even!), great life, great future...why do I keep thinking about him? The possibility that he might have a girlfriend sent me into a tailspin and I almost texted him. I keep having this thought that I miss him but I can't think of anything that I actually miss. There were times, I guess, when he made me feel like I was the only woman in the world...there was a time when I was absolutely completely desperately head over heels in love with him--addicted to him. I would have done absolutely anything to spend a moment with him, share his space, breath his air. Maybe what I'm feeling now is a throwback from that. I don't want to be back there. If I had a time machine I wouldn't go back there. He holds nothing for me--I have a future and my future is with E. I can't help but think that this is how addicts must feel. Yes, it was a horrible time in my life, I alienated my family, made poor choices, compromised by morals and integrity...but--the way it made me feel. I guess I need to follow the advice that I give to them...where are the meetings for this though?
Nathaniel Hawk Posted September 3, 2014 Posted September 3, 2014 Tonight I was running around a huge park and I saw my ex with her ex-now-boyfriend-again on a bench. It all happened so fast. It was raining and I was listening to an amazing song by Teenage Fanclub (I think it was Heavy Metal II, give it a listen if you want to, it's worth it ) and as I passed in front of them they stared at me and I blinked them an eye and smiled and kept running under the summer rain without giving a **** about them. Somehow, it felt amazing. 2
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