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Good morning ls community! It's 6am my time and I just finished a bit of a work out. I'm going to spend the day cleaning my house and working outside today. I am looking forward to posting my picture in a few days. It's what's on the inside that counts right? But I blew that .. I am gonna share more with you later on about how to get out of your head and show everyone who the real crazy people be being. Cause it's not me! 

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I feel conned and stupid. I feel drained. I feel angry and violated that so many people thought he was a nice enough man to do this to me. It lasted 7 years and he charmed everyone. I'm hurt that while I was struggling he was with another women and making her feel exactly as I had fantasized so now I feel stupid. I was stuck in my head and could not get out. I couldn't have reacted any different. He has no intensions on coming anyways and everything he did was so I blocked him. He didn't feel a connection to me. He didn't feel safe enough to connect with me and wanted me to move on, disconnect, fall out of love and be unattached. Everyone in this knew his intensions and went along with it and gas lighted me. 

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Oh, just dandy. My step sister may have been exposed to COVID-19 and therefore exposed my dad. And he's 65. 

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1 hour ago, The Outlaw said:

Oh, just dandy. My step sister may have been exposed to COVID-19 and therefore exposed my dad. And he's 65. 

That's pretty scary and I'm sorry to hear that. If a parent had it of mine then I would probably be getting her tested and doing my best to fight for access to a respirator.

Edited by Realitysux
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7 hours ago, Realitysux said:

You all play this game but u couldn't handle it yourself if it happened to you

Been there too. People do understand. And have had to handle it before now. It’s hard tho to see the clouds for the trees when you’re in it yourself. 
I had an ex who’s friends told me I was crazy And my intuition was wrong for being incredibly sure of her cheating. Which she was doing behind my back the whole time and had her friends cover for her, and try and convince me I was crazy. Disgusting behaviour. So yeah. I get it. 
 

its a horrible place to be in. But this too shall pass, when you’re done processing all these emotions. Just give it time. Try and mediate and of you have a creative streak then making music or art will help you whole lot too. 

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3 hours ago, Fox Sake said:

 

Been there too. People do understand. And have had to handle it before now. It’s hard tho to see the clouds for the trees when you’re in it yourself. 
I had an ex who’s friends told me I was crazy And my intuition was wrong for being incredibly sure of her cheating. Which she was doing behind my back the whole time and had her friends cover for her, and try and convince me I was crazy. Disgusting behaviour. So yeah. I get it. 
 

its a horrible place to be in. But this too shall pass, when you’re done processing all these emotions. Just give it time. Try and mediate and of you have a creative streak then making music or art will help you whole lot too. 

It wasn't a relationship to move on like a dump. It was stalking and harassment and I have hired investigators and will stop at nothing until this is closed. 

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I really have to try and grow from this experience and be careful who I allow myself to give my heart too. I was r even dating the guy and he broke it. I don't know if it's because he didn't think I should go without this kind of heartache but it isn't fun at all. I'm really trying to rebuild myself alone and the fact he isn't alone really makes me question why I needed the heartbreak in the first place. 

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It's definitely cruel how someone could spend years hurting you and how other people would join in on the fun. It still shocks me but I've been networking where I should have been networking all along. I am really organizing my house and trying my hardest to move forward with the right people in my life. I try not to think of it as much but it will take time before I stop thinking about it at all. I wish I didn't feel so obsessed and I handled myself differently. 7 years was too long and too many people were involved. I do feel stronger and more content being single. I just want to establish myself into a long term career and continue to network in this industry. The more I meet people, I may be able to feel settled in this city! 

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Some days are better than others... Today's been hard for me. Most days I'm just so busy that I don't have time to think about anything...I hope I feel better tomorrow.

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Well I'm a well paid roofer so if anyone wants to come work as hard as I will be then please give me advice 

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sothereiwas

Today my wife was listening to some old pop music, and I said "pretty sure we have this on CD", and then I realized this conversation is usually about vinyl, and then I realized that to her, there's probably not much difference between CD and vinyl ...

The good news - she told me she loves me last thing last night and first thing this morning. That'll do. 

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On 4/17/2020 at 10:18 PM, scooby-philly said:

Spent the past hour crying. Been too good to too many people in my life and have not been good to myself or to the inner child inside of me. Guess that's my life's greatest lesson.

 

never too late to start. How are you?

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On 6/21/2020 at 9:28 AM, The Outlaw said:

Oh, just dandy. My step sister may have been exposed to COVID-19 and therefore exposed my dad. And he's 65. 

How are you doing?

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scooby-philly
45 minutes ago, Ellener said:

never too late to start. How are you?

I'm good. Funny - you quoted me from 2 months ago - and here I am the day before I turn 39 and I want to take a bath and cry - and will later. But it's okay. Tears are good. And yeah - I learned first with friends, then with family, and hopefully, finally, with relationships - that if people show you that you don't matter as much to them as other things, other people, and if they only include you when it's convenient, they want something, or they have no one else at the moment - that's not a sign of affection, care, or love. So - while  I still get lonely some times (especially at night before bed)....I'm doing okay. It's just doing the work of helping my inner child finally let go of somethings and really actively using positive self-talk to heal and move myself forward. Though, in many regards, I'm very lucky and also very blessed. So - while it's okay to feel down and I accept my feelings, I also have been working on helping the "little dude" inside of me move forward. And thanks to many friends on here! Thanks for checking in!

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@scooby-philly Love yourself in that bath....wow that reads so different written than in my head! But you know what I mean (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

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scooby-philly
8 minutes ago, Ellener said:

@scooby-philly Love yourself in that bath....wow that reads so different written than in my head! But you know what I mean (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I did and I did.

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1 hour ago, scooby-philly said:

I did and I did.

I just went for a walk, very quiet out...

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6 hours ago, scooby-philly said:

I'm good. Funny - you quoted me from 2 months ago - and here I am the day before I turn 39 and I want to take a bath and cry - and will later. But it's okay. Tears are good. And yeah - I learned first with friends, then with family, and hopefully, finally, with relationships - that if people show you that you don't matter as much to them as other things, other people, and if they only include you when it's convenient, they want something, or they have no one else at the moment - that's not a sign of affection, care, or love. So - while  I still get lonely some times (especially at night before bed)....I'm doing okay. It's just doing the work of helping my inner child finally let go of somethings and really actively using positive self-talk to heal and move myself forward. Though, in many regards, I'm very lucky and also very blessed. So - while it's okay to feel down and I accept my feelings, I also have been working on helping the "little dude" inside of me move forward. And thanks to many friends on here! Thanks for checking in!

Happy birthday. :)

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A few weeks ago, I cut ties with a guy again. Almost exactly a year from when we started talking again last year (then cut ties in September, and reconnected in December). So, my stomach was all twisted, and I've been upset on and off - but I have been feeling better in general. My Spring mostly sucked, but that was also a combination of covid, and two aunts fighting cancer. One decided last week, to stop fighting. :( This year has been so weird. 

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Cornholio12

Excuse the rant in advance, but honestly I don't know with some of the total crap I've seen elsewhere on the board. How's that? 

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