BaileyB Posted February 23, 2017 Share Posted February 23, 2017 The question is do you like being told what the person wants? It makes things easier. Perhaps from your wife or your girlfriend, it may be helpful... Coming from your mistress, it takes on a different meaning... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Greg1972 Posted February 23, 2017 Author Share Posted February 23, 2017 Actually, it should be the other way around. The gifts should be getting cheaper as time passes. The old saying, "The older the horse the cheaper the ride" should apply just as well for mistresses...She should feel grateful to you for sticking around. She is still more than 10 years younger than me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Greg1972 Posted February 23, 2017 Author Share Posted February 23, 2017 It doesn't matter if she's having an affair herself, as that doesn't make it right for him to do it. No mention was made of their marriage being open, of her cheating or there being any sort of understanding of "don't ask, don't tell". If it's an open marriage, then is what he's doing really an affair? We don't have an open marriage. I am cheating on my wife and it is wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Greg1972 Posted February 23, 2017 Author Share Posted February 23, 2017 Back to OP: Do you have any thought of gaining peace of mind and improving your marriage by focussing on your wife and family? Is it fair that you cheat on your wife? How would you feel if your wife cheated on you? Better yet, imagine her side piece asking for expensive prezzies just like yours. Why be married at that point? And yes, ~~30% of people on the Titanic survived (at the cost of great suffering to themselves). The rest struggled and suffered horribly and became part of a disaster that has become part of history. Nobody should take any of those fates lightly. If you have a chance NOT to get on the Titanic, knowing that you have only a 30% of keeping your life, you should take it. It is not fair for me to cheat on my wife. I wouldn't be happy if my wife cheated. This is my 2nd marriage. When my first wife passed away things were not that easy. When I got married again, I didn't think I would want anything outside of my marriage. I never cheated on my first wife. While I love my wife, I need more than what my marriage is giving me. I know that doesn't make it right. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Greg1972 Posted February 23, 2017 Author Share Posted February 23, 2017 30+ years ago I was in the Philippines and had the whole affair dynamic explained to me. It horrified my American sensibilities. American men often believe their penis and 20 minutes of sex is completely enough and should be totally satisfying. Filipino men know they are essentially paying for silence and discretion. I missed if your OW is single or married. I'm guessing she is single. You do realize she is possibly putting her life and emotional availability in a holding pattern for you, right? Your attitude may be (to an extent): she knew what I was from the very start, I didn't mislead her, but she's still sacrificing her time. If she doesn't nag you and is a good friend to you, I'd get her what she wants. No matter how we try to put a spin on this, you don't love her. This isn't a LOVE relationship, there is a quid pro quo. You're giving her something nice to make up for the fact you don't have to do any courting, chasing or daily problems with her. Men know women want sex. They know women want good sex. But that isn't going to keep you in good graces for an extended period of time. IF you still want the OW in your life, you need to talk to her about this. It does sound like she is putting a high cost on your privilege of dipping your penis inside her and maintaining silence. If it's more than what you want, then I'd break it off with her. But, yes, even in an affair....a penis isn't enough. The OW and I affair is a lot more than sex. While we don't work directly together we interact a lot in business. I see her more than a few times a week and isn't always for sex. She has a lot of qualities that I enjoy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Greg1972 Posted February 28, 2017 Author Share Posted February 28, 2017 Perhaps from your wife or your girlfriend, it may be helpful... Coming from your mistress, it takes on a different meaning... What do you mean? Link to post Share on other sites
Furious Posted February 28, 2017 Share Posted February 28, 2017 She is still more than 10 years younger than me. That's impressive and explains why she's asking for gifts 5 times more than usual. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
William Posted February 28, 2017 Share Posted February 28, 2017 As it looks like the OP's question has been answered and most of the replies here have been well off-topic we'll go ahead and close this one up. ~T Link to post Share on other sites
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