aileD Posted March 12, 2017 Share Posted March 12, 2017 https://www.divorcecare.org/ A suggestion. Check it out 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MGTOW101 Posted March 21, 2017 Share Posted March 21, 2017 (edited) Hghsgkcffhbvgbvdsfkjjgg Edited March 21, 2017 by MGTOW101 Link to post Share on other sites
VeganButEatMyMeat Posted March 21, 2017 Share Posted March 21, 2017 I thought this woman was love at first sight when I was 18. She had a 1 year old son and was struggling immensely. I was still in high school. I dropped out of high school senior year, got a full time job and went to night classes just to help her support a child that isn't mine. Playing amateur psychologist: you played the role of savior, her the victim. You saved her, gave her a better life, now she no longer needs saving she's moving on. Your relationship was formed on the basis of a simple contract: i.e. "I will support you and your son, but you will give me love and affection". When that contract ended she decided to move on. Also look into Borderline Personality Disorder. Was she devaluing you the last months/year? Anything you did wasn't good enough? Asking you to change? This may explain her cold behavior, sudden change, the "victim" role, erratic behavior. If after you do your research you discover she is BPD you need to do everything you can to get your kid. Just google "raised by borderlines"... there are A LOT of messed up kids out there who dealt with borderline parents. I almost gave my kid to my BPD ex-wife... thankfully the world righted itself. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Larrysr516 Posted March 23, 2017 Author Share Posted March 23, 2017 Hello all... well a few months back i had made a posting that i was so depressed and lost without my wife. She had left me for somebody else. I ended up moving out and 2 weeks ago, she had called me asking for all of us to go on a little weekend getaway as a family. Well, it worked. She dumped the other guy and she says she doesnt even want to get back together yet, but she wants to focus on us and work at our future relationship. But, i feel at times shes doing it for just money and not the right reasons. She has nothing now and i do quite well for myself. The guy she left me for was a complete do nothing loser. She tells me shes depressed and she cant figure out why. I told her to seek counciling maybe thatll help. But i also feel that shes a totally different person now. Shes getting massive tattoos on herself, piercing her nose, eyebrow, lip, and all that. Hell, we went out 2 days ago with my family for our daughters birthday and she didnt even pay attention to her. Her face was glued to the phone. This was a woman who would never let anything interfere with her kids and now shes always seeking a way to get out with friends or just talk to her girlfriends all day on her phone. I love her with all my heart but its tough to see when youve been with someone for years do such a 180 in their lifestyle. Im doing things that we lacked in the relationship in the past such as being affectionate, telling her she could conquor the world if she wants to, talking to her on the phone telling me her feelings, telling her im with her every step of the way but i just dont know if she doesnt work out her issues, then idk if i can be with someone whos going to continue to live that lifestyle. Im up in the air with everything at this point, any advice would help. Thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted March 23, 2017 Share Posted March 23, 2017 The wife marriage family are gone and never will come back with this WW. Your best course of action is to divorce. It is clear that WW needs a sugar daddy now that she realized that the OM can not will not support her. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted March 23, 2017 Share Posted March 23, 2017 Larry, if I was you I'd be telling myself that I deserved a hell of a lot better than that. Sure, between you and the OM, you "won". Google "pyrrhic victory". 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Simple Logic Posted March 23, 2017 Share Posted March 23, 2017 She is re-grouping. Once she finds another guy, one that has money this time, she will dump you and the kids. Don't be a sucker. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
somanymistakes Posted March 23, 2017 Share Posted March 23, 2017 If she really wanted to make it up to you I can think of things she might do to prove she's serious, but it doesn't sound like she's trying at all. I think this one is over, sorry Link to post Share on other sites
aliveagain Posted March 23, 2017 Share Posted March 23, 2017 Friend, don't even think about reconciliation until she get's the professional help she needs with someone experienced in both infidelity and perhaps addiction. The woman you just described reminds me of three women I know that went through pretty severe depressions but were also found to have some form of drug addiction. Is she a drug user? People with esteem issues almost always look for affair partners that have more problems then themselves. Perhaps the grass wasn't as green as she thought. People that have affairs are looking for something. Do you even like who she is now? Don't just take her back, make her do the work to fix what is broken. Until she does she is not a safe partner. Please, no unprotected sex until she is tested for STD's. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted March 23, 2017 Share Posted March 23, 2017 If you can't do a hard 180 she'll continue to play you until she finds another. You are just a plan B nothing more. It's a mistake trying to be friends or do family get together with her. Your actions say you can treat me bad and do anything to me you want and I'll just take it. I'll always be here for you no matter what. You'll never have a life or future with your current actions 2 Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted March 23, 2017 Share Posted March 23, 2017 She dumped the other guy Really...? Because everything else you wrote suggests that she told you she's dumped the other guy, but in reality is still seeing him, whilst getting back the practical and financial benefits of being married to you. Ie. having her cake and eating it. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
harrybrown Posted March 23, 2017 Share Posted March 23, 2017 why would you want her back? she is bad news. She ripped your heart out and thinks she can waltz back into your life? What if you had an A? what would her reaction be? has she read not just friends? Has she written you a timetable of her A? How do you know she has stopped all contact with the OM? she will rip your heart out again. File for D, get custody of the kids from her and let her have her life with her phone and the OM. Has she outed the OM to his family? Did she do things with the OM that she would not do with you? Will she pay to go to affair-recovery.com? Did she expose her A to her family and to yours? she is not remorseful. did she take an Std test and a polygraph? Your life will be better without her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
friendlyfriend Posted March 23, 2017 Share Posted March 23, 2017 I think you know the answer to this predictament. You have received a lot of confirmation not to trust this ploy of reconciliation. Use discernment and trust your conclusions. blessings to you Link to post Share on other sites
ice3784 Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 I've never been unfaithful to her. She was my queen and I love her. She had someons. Trust me. I was a women who had affair. I was with my husband for 13 years. Im sorry. U need to take care of yourself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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