CloudyHead Posted March 2, 2017 Share Posted March 2, 2017 If the car is titled in her name, then you are out of luck as it belongs to her. If the car is titled in your name, then the car is your property. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author M1ke12 Posted March 2, 2017 Author Share Posted March 2, 2017 If the car is titled in her name, then you are out of luck as it belongs to her. If the car is titled in your name, then the car is your property. The car is in my name or I wouldn't even try. Link to post Share on other sites
KBob Posted March 2, 2017 Share Posted March 2, 2017 (edited) If the car is titled in her name, then you are out of luck as it belongs to her. If the car is titled in your name, then the car is your property. OR if you don't mind taking a hit on your credit you could stop making the payments. It still doesn't work out well for you either way, but it wouldn't let her get away with sticking you with half a car she was.supposed to pay you for. EDIT missed your post above. Just sell it. Edited March 2, 2017 by KBob Link to post Share on other sites
Author M1ke12 Posted March 2, 2017 Author Share Posted March 2, 2017 OR if you don't mind taking a hit on your credit you could stop making the payments. It still doesn't work out well for you either way, but it wouldn't let her get away with sticking you with half a car she was.supposed to pay you for. No problem there, the car is paid for. Link to post Share on other sites
olivetree Posted March 2, 2017 Share Posted March 2, 2017 (edited) Your ex didn't hold up her end of the deal about the car or your relationship. The car is in your name. Definitely stand up for yourself and take it back. Besides, doesn't it make you liable if she gets in a car accident? Edited March 2, 2017 by olivetree 3 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 2, 2017 Share Posted March 2, 2017 The car is in my name or I wouldn't even try. If the title, registration & presumably insurance are in your name, you never legally completed the gift. You loaned her the car. It was always your car. Go get it. If you can't get it back, report it stolen, because her retaining possession of it is stealing. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
CollegeKid101 Posted March 2, 2017 Share Posted March 2, 2017 Slippery slope. I was helping my GF out and bought her a car. The original deal was she would pay me, in payments, for 1/2 of the car. The other half was a gift. Later, when she couldn't pay, I just shrugged and said no big deal. All of this was to remove stress from her life. Before you say it, I know that I am stupid. very stupid in fact and I learned a valuable lesson. Later when she was pulling away from me I learned she was having an emotional affair. She denies that emotional affairs even exist. I read through the texts and that is exactly what it was. She claims she ended it but I still see texts from Monday. The texts have become fewer and far between so she is at least trying. I called her on it and told her we are done for good and BTW I want the car back. She thinks I am crazy over the EA stuff and denies it. I just want to do the right thing. Should I take the car? I am a nice guy (too nice) but 1/2 of me says stand up for myself and the other half says, "well you gave it too her stupid" What should I do? Sorry to hear this happened to you, man. Get your car back, it's legally yours. Link to post Share on other sites
lurker74 Posted March 2, 2017 Share Posted March 2, 2017 If the car is titled in her name, then you are out of luck as it belongs to her. If the car is titled in your name, then the car is your property. LS is sometimes not the greatest place to get love advice but it is truly a horrible place to get legal advice. For the car part, hire a lawyer. None of the legal advice here has been correct, at least in the state I live in within the US. As to the rest, EAs are obviously real. I would definitely break up with her if she couldn't hold out from contacting the OM. And I would take the car...not out of vindictiveness, but out of practicality. Not to get into EAs, but the biggest issue with them is that they are all of the positive (excitement, newness, romance) with none of the problems (like, paying for a car). She needs to understand that you can't get the good without the bad and vice versa. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
ChatroomHero Posted March 2, 2017 Share Posted March 2, 2017 (edited) My Ex Fiancee called the police to see if she could keep a car I paid for entirely (was still paying), paid insurance and everything was in my name as well. Her claim was that she established that she was driving it and the police told her she could take it and they would not consider it stolen, etc. if I tried to get it back. What it came down to was if she took it, the police would not help but if I located it I could repo it myself and there was nothing she could do. Bottom line, it is yours and if the title is in your name it does not matter if you promised she could have it or it was a gift... completely irrelevant as ownership is based on the title. Take the car back. Think about how you would feel to see her driving around town in your car, with some random guy, and she gets in an accident and causes an injury. If she gets sued, you get sued as well. It is possible depending on your insurance policy (if she is not on there), that your insurance company would not cover her. If she is not named on the policy and you have a clause saying that if someone staying in your home for more than a couple of months drives the car and is not on your policy, they will not cover them unless you were already paying for the additional driver. You own the car and you are responsible for it 100%. If she lives elsewhere, go at night with a spare set of keys and take it back. Otherwise go to her workplace and take it during the day when she is working. Park it at a friends or someone's house where she cannot find it. I mean with a title and insurance in your name, you realize even in a no-fault state, if she is in an accident or causes one you can be sued for 10s of thousands of dollars and even if your insurance covers you, they will only cover up to their limit if the one suing can prove permanent impairment, right? Why would you want that kind of exposure for a gf that will be an ex? Why would you give someone that kind of power over your life and livelihood? To anyone saying it was a gift or it's hers, I can tell you 100% if you take it back there is nothing she can do. You can have documentation saying it is a gift and you will never take it back and it is 100% hers... will not matter unless it is titled to her or she had proof she actually purchased it from you and you failed to transfer the title in exchange. Hell, if she claims it was a gift she technically would have to claim the payments you made for it on her taxes as a gift. Edited March 2, 2017 by ChatroomHero 1 Link to post Share on other sites
meche Posted March 2, 2017 Share Posted March 2, 2017 Some guys dont even treat girls an ice cream... Thats a big thing u did for her. She wasnt worth it though. Take it back, for sure! Link to post Share on other sites
Author M1ke12 Posted March 2, 2017 Author Share Posted March 2, 2017 LS is sometimes not the greatest place to get love advice but it is truly a horrible place to get legal advice. For the car part, hire a lawyer. None of the legal advice here has been correct, at least in the state I live in within the US. As to the rest, EAs are obviously real. I would definitely break up with her if she couldn't hold out from contacting the OM. And I would take the car...not out of vindictiveness, but out of practicality. Not to get into EAs, but the biggest issue with them is that they are all of the positive (excitement, newness, romance) with none of the problems (like, paying for a car). She needs to understand that you can't get the good without the bad and vice versa. Thank you for the acknowledgment that EAs are real. A long long time ago I had one during my marriage and thought it was innocent. It almost wrecked my marriage (it was wrecked by her later). It took self education on my part even to realize that I was having an affair. The affects were tough to get over. I told her ALL of this. She insists its all BS. I read the texts and I know what it is. Link to post Share on other sites
CollegeKid101 Posted March 2, 2017 Share Posted March 2, 2017 (edited) LS is sometimes not the greatest place to get love advice but it is truly a horrible place to get legal advice. For the car part, hire a lawyer. None of the legal advice here has been correct, at least in the state I live in within the US. As to the rest, EAs are obviously real. I would definitely break up with her if she couldn't hold out from contacting the OM. And I would take the car...not out of vindictiveness, but out of practicality. Not to get into EAs, but the biggest issue with them is that they are all of the positive (excitement, newness, romance) with none of the problems (like, paying for a car). She needs to understand that you can't get the good without the bad and vice versa. Would like to know what occurs in your state then. If the car is in his name it is legally his. To gift a car to someone involves a legal process of transferring the title, which has not occurred here. Is the insurance under your name or hers? Edited March 2, 2017 by CollegeKid101 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 2, 2017 Share Posted March 2, 2017 I would remind her the car is in her name and ask her to make a "settlement amount" of payments on the car if she wants to keep it. Tell her the original deal was half. See if she wants it bad enough to pay half. If so, you'd probably come out ahead because it's bound to have depreciated and not be worth nearly as much to sell now as you paid for it. Honestly, if you can get her to pay ANY, you should probably let it go at that. Link to post Share on other sites
ashy555 Posted March 2, 2017 Share Posted March 2, 2017 (edited) I don't see any logic in continuing to pay off a car your ex gf who is was cheating on you drives.. You're a nice person but you CAN'T let people take advantage of you. Take control and get that car back. Hope it is in your name though.... Edited March 2, 2017 by ashy555 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted March 2, 2017 Share Posted March 2, 2017 take the car....she never gave you half the money it is yours.....if she wants the car she owes you the full amount.....i don't believe people should benefit financially from love relationships.....even marriages ......you walk away with what you put into it...in every way/.....especially financially.....but that's the way i feel and honestly have done in the past.... she owes the money for the car or the car in my opinion..if you had gifted it completely to her it would be different.......deb Link to post Share on other sites
ChatroomHero Posted March 3, 2017 Share Posted March 3, 2017 LS is sometimes not the greatest place to get love advice but it is truly a horrible place to get legal advice. For the car part, hire a lawyer. None of the legal advice here has been correct, at least in the state I live in within the US. As to the rest, EAs are obviously real. I would definitely break up with her if she couldn't hold out from contacting the OM. And I would take the car...not out of vindictiveness, but out of practicality. Not to get into EAs, but the biggest issue with them is that they are all of the positive (excitement, newness, romance) with none of the problems (like, paying for a car). She needs to understand that you can't get the good without the bad and vice versa. I'm not a lawyer or legal expert, but I did talk to the cops and a friend of a good friend is a former prosecutor and a well known lawyer. Both the cops and the lawyer scoffed at the idea I couldn't take it back. The cop just said I couldn't claim it was stolen to get it back because I allowed her to drive it. I am also getting sued (should go away soon) for a friend that borrowed my car and was involved in an accident. It's no fault yet they are still trying to sue for a large sum of money I would be on the hook for past my coverage. It's almost impossible to sue me in a no fault state. If it were me, based on experience, I would be on my way to get my car immediately. I would not let her have that over me for even one minute longer. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 3, 2017 Share Posted March 3, 2017 It wouldn't be fair to call the cops on her. He gave her the car. He gifted it. It's just still in his name, so she can't prove it. But no reason to be totally mean to her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Purepony Posted March 3, 2017 Share Posted March 3, 2017 Have your car towed to your house since your the owner and that's that Link to post Share on other sites
Author M1ke12 Posted March 3, 2017 Author Share Posted March 3, 2017 I went to pick up the car today. She wasn't there, but her mom was. Her mom paid for the car and I handed over the title. In the end I felt justified. She was texting him on Monday, well after it was supposed to have ended. She would never apologize, or become transparent, about the EA. She flat out denies that it was an affair even after I explained what I went through with my X wife. I told her all the details, how long it took me to get over it. About how I finally educated myself on the matter. It didn't change anything and she said I was crazy. But hey I have cash in hand for the car! Thank you LS people for the support. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author M1ke12 Posted March 3, 2017 Author Share Posted March 3, 2017 (edited) I met her, I dated her, I had a year long relationship with her. She had that quality, that one in a million quality. The kind of quality that makes you forget about all other women. She wasn't a perfect 10. Not even close by most peoples standards. I doubt that most guys saw her the way I did. Because of je ne sais qua, I was willing to do anything for her. I did everything I could to remove her stress. To make things better. I bent over backwords and treated her like a queen. Honestly I thought this might happen. I worked too hard to impress her. I got to a point where I was ignoring who I am. I overlooked a million red flags. She wasn't giving back, much anyway. This continued until I finally had to go, frustrated, resentful, yet relieved. je ne sais qua is the french word. I am not sure I would date another woman with this quality. It was way too easy to lose myself in her. Maybe I would advise you not to date her/ him but you probably wouldn't listen. Has anyone else been through this? Edited March 3, 2017 by M1ke12 Link to post Share on other sites
Author M1ke12 Posted March 3, 2017 Author Share Posted March 3, 2017 mods: just go ahead and put every one of my posts in this single thread so they continue to get ignored. :/ Thanks. They are topics that deserve their own discussion. Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted March 3, 2017 Share Posted March 3, 2017 I'm reading. I just don't know what to say, besides you need time to get over her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
WomenWubber Posted March 3, 2017 Share Posted March 3, 2017 Been there dude. You'll meet someone better. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CollegeKid101 Posted March 3, 2017 Share Posted March 3, 2017 mods: just go ahead and put every one of my posts in this single thread so they continue to get ignored. :/ Thanks. They are topics that deserve their own discussion. Here as well. Glad you got your money back for the car, go out with some buddies tonight and drink a cold one. Link to post Share on other sites
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