Can't forgive my friend for euthanizing her dog

[Gaeta]

I'm sorry l don't understand why you say l am getting second hand information when everything l am reporting here l heard from her mouth. She told me herself her dog situation, she told me herself she does not want to test the dog to see if it's cancer, she told me herself she told the vet to not test the dog, she told me herself everything the vet told her: the bump could be nothing or it could be cancer, only way to know is to remove it. She said no, put her down.

 

I don't think l am superior l just think l can't be in this friendship any longer for a series of reasons and the dog is just what convinced me l don't need someonw like that in my life.

 

In every aspect of her life she is incapable of empathy.

[whichwayisup]

I did not hear about the dog's health issues through the grapevines. My friend told me several times about her dog health issues and I have seen myself her dog several times after she got that bump on her head. I have learn through my daughter she had euthanized her dog -- my daughter called me and said: mom don't go on FB because F euthanized her dog and I know that will get you upset. I speak to that friend on daily basis, even the day she euthanized her dog she didn't speak a word of it to me because she knew my position on the matter.

 

I fully understand that $500 may be a lot to a lot of people but my friend isn't tight on money, she is management for a bank, she travels several times a year, $500 is pocket money to her.

 

My friend told me herself she did not want to know if it was cancer or not, she just wanted to put her down. The dog wasn't suffering, she was energetic and happy. There is no mystery to it.

 

Anyway, she got the new pup and now she's calling me to get advice. How ironic.

 

But the dog would suffer with chemo. And it wasn't a puppy either. Most vets won't push treatment on a dog that is older. Not defending her decision but it is her decision, like it or not. Maybe she couldn't handle taking her dog in and seeing her suffer the side effects of treatment. You don't know for sure. Either way, you have a choice to make...Accept and make peace with her decision so it won't affect your friendship with her or continue to be angry at her and end the friendship.

[noelle303]

But the dog would suffer with chemo. And it wasn't a puppy either. Most vets won't push treatment on a dog that is older. Not defending her decision but it is her decision, like it or not. Maybe she couldn't handle taking her dog in and seeing her suffer the side effects of treatment. You don't know for sure. Either way, you have a choice to make...Accept and make peace with her decision so it won't affect your friendship with her or continue to be angry at her and end the friendship.

 

But she never bothered to find out whether it's cancer or not. It could have been something completely non-fatal. She literally possibly killed a dog that had years of living happily ahead, because she couldn't be bothered with it. That's pretty selfish and cruel.

[GunslingerRoland]

I know I'll take heat for this.

 

Clearly this tumor was not benign. A benign tumor wouldn't have been causing these health problems. So the vet was going to take $500 just for this test, and then ask for thousands more for treatment, which may or may not have worked.

 

I'm not saying I would have necessarily made the same decision as your friend, but I can understand the reasons behind the decision.

 

Although I probably would have looked around for a second quote from a vet, because it sounds like $500 is a lot for a biopsy.

[nittygritty]

I did not hear about the dog's health issues through the grapevines. My friend told me several times about her dog health issues and I have seen myself her dog several times after she got that bump on her head. I have learn through my daughter she had euthanized her dog -- my daughter called me and said: mom don't go on FB because F euthanized her dog and I know that will get you upset. I speak to that friend on daily basis, even the day she euthanized her dog she didn't speak a word of it to me because she knew my position on the matter.

 

I fully understand that $500 may be a lot to a lot of people but my friend isn't tight on money, she is management for a bank, she travels several times a year, $500 is pocket money to her.

 

My friend told me herself she did not want to know if it was cancer or not, she just wanted to put her down. The dog wasn't suffering, she was energetic and happy. There is no mystery to it.

 

Anyway, she got the new pup and now she's calling me to get advice. How ironic.

 

Did you tell your friend how you feel about what she did?

[Gaeta]

But the dog would suffer with chemo. And it wasn't a puppy either. Most vets won't push treatment on a dog that is older. Not defending her decision but it is her decision, like it or not. Maybe she couldn't handle taking her dog in and seeing her suffer the side effects of treatment. You don't know for sure. Either way, you have a choice to make...Accept and make peace with her decision so it won't affect your friendship with her or continue to be angry at her and end the friendship.

 

She didn't know if the dog had cancer. The bump could have been anything, it was not even a real lump, it was a bump that filled with blood then broke and bleed and again would get filled with blood. It could have been 100 other things than cancer she just didn't want to know.

 

I would not put my dog under chemo either once I know it's cancer. My dog had several little wort on his body that got infected, would get inflamed, would break and bleed then fill with blood again, I did not have my dog put down for it, I had the vet take a sample of his wound and analyze it. In my case it was not cancer just a pimple that got infected by a bacteria, it went away with antibiotic.

 

Maybe her dog just had that, a pimple that got infected with a bacteria! but she never wanted to test it.

[Gaeta]

I know I'll take heat for this.

 

Clearly this tumor was not benign. A benign tumor wouldn't have been causing these health problems. So the vet was going to take $500 just for this test, and then ask for thousands more for treatment, which may or may not have worked.

 

I'm not saying I would have necessarily made the same decision as your friend, but I can understand the reasons behind the decision.

 

Although I probably would have looked around for a second quote from a vet, because it sounds like $500 is a lot for a biopsy.

 

I am sure the bump was nothing, like my dog maybe just pimple or a scratch that got infected by a bacteria.

 

When she told me the surgery to remove her bump was $500 I told her to just have it sampled and analyzed, it's $145. They take a needle, pull out some of the liquid inside the wound and they can tell if it's cancer or not. She refused to even consider it.

 

Like I said, on previous occasions she told me she does not get attached to her animals. Lucky her, my dog goes under surgery tomorrow to remove a lump under his eye and I am a nervous wreck ! I can't even think of the day I'll lose him, I know I'll have a break down.

[Gaeta]

Did you tell your friend how you feel about what she did?

 

Yes many times. At some point I even told her to stop telling me about her dog because her lack of empathy for an animal she had for 9 years just upset me too much. That is why she did not tell me when she had her put down.

[major_merrick]

On one hand, its her dog (and technically animals are property) so its her decision. On the other hand...heartless and foolish. To avoid spending $500 by spending $2,000 is idiotic. And over a bump on the head? Some people should just not have pets.

 

It really hurt a few years ago when my cat died. There was nothing I could do, short of spending 3-4 thousand dollars on a procedure that had a 5% chance (vet's words) of succeeding, and would have been painful. I chose to let her go, rather than make her suffer and spend tons of money. Animals aren't people, but they at least deserve some dignity and effort. And $500 is not that much to spend, unless you're in poverty. If you can take vacations, you aren't in poverty. And that doesn't even take into account other options, such as attempting rudimentary medical care yourself. Lots of things can be solved with a bit of investigation and some home remedies. Farm stores carry all kinds of things for basic animal care and are a great resource.

 

While you can't control what other people do with their animals/property, you can avoid hanging out with those who are disgusting and foolish.

[Poe77]

I did not hear about the dog's health issues through the grapevines. My friend told me several times about her dog health issues and I have seen myself her dog several times after she got that bump on her head. I have learn through my daughter she had euthanized her dog -- my daughter called me and said: mom don't go on FB because F euthanized her dog and I know that will get you upset. I speak to that friend on daily basis, even the day she euthanized her dog she didn't speak a word of it to me because she knew my position on the matter.

 

I fully understand that $500 may be a lot to a lot of people but my friend isn't tight on money, she is management for a bank, she travels several times a year, $500 is pocket money to her.

 

My friend told me herself she did not want to know if it was cancer or not, she just wanted to put her down. The dog wasn't suffering, she was energetic and happy. There is no mystery to it.

 

Anyway, she got the new pup and now she's calling me to get advice. How ironic.

 

Why didn't you offer to take the dog then? have her hand you the dog and ownership and you have the 500-600 surgery done? im not trying to attack you but if you felt this strongly that the dog deserved to live why didn't you save her? after you had gotten her the treatment you could have adopted her out if you couldn't keep her..

 

I also just checked and a 9 year old dog is about 60 in doggy years considered very much a senor maybe the vet thought that the procedure itself might be to much for her? there are vets that are quite happy to try every procedure under the sun and the animal still dies yet they get their cash would that have been the better solution?

 

And before you call me a meanie animal hater my own family once payed big bucks im talking thousands to have a dog operated on and she passed anyways and suffered in the process a lot more then that vet made it out to seam..

 

So im sorry I know your upset and only you can decide if the over all friendship can be saved but I still think you are being a little to hard on her and overly judgemental..why her income level is even a concern im not to sure..we all have bills even the people who seam like they have everything..

[Gaeta]

Why didn't you offer to take the dog then? have her hand you the dog and ownership and you have the 500-600 surgery done? im not trying to attack you but if you felt this strongly that the dog deserved to live why didn't you save her? after you had gotten her the treatment you could have adopted her out if you couldn't keep her.

I live in a condo, I already have a dog of 45-lbs. Getting a dog even temporary isn't an option I have condo regulations to obey by.

 

I also just checked and a 9 year old dog is about 60 in doggy years considered very much a senor maybe the vet thought that the procedure itself might be to much for her? there are vets that are quite happy to try every procedure under the sun and the animal still dies yet they get their cash would that have been the better solution? .

Dogs have different life expectancy depending on their breed and their size. A tiny dog like a Yorkshire cross breed can live easily up to 14-15 years. A huge dog like a Danish will live 9 years. My dog a spaniel has a life expectancy of 14-15 years that is why today is he getting the surgery he needs at the age of 10. You must be very young to consider 60 old and senior. If the surgery had been too much for the dog my friend would have told me to justify not getting the surgery. Again the surgery was not necessary at first, a sample analyzed would have been sufficient. If surgery is needed than it would have been a 15 minute surgery, nothing to kill a dog over. We're talking removing a growth on top of the skin, not open heart surgery.

 

IAnd before you call me a meanie animal hater my own family once payed big bucks im talking thousands to have a dog operated on and she passed anyways and suffered in the process a lot more then that vet made it out to seam...

I would not allow my dog to suffer either. I would not suggest a surgery that would make an animal suffer even more. This is not what it's about here. We are talking removing a growth on top of skin, not a hip surgery, not a heart surgery.

 

So im sorry I know your upset and only you can decide if the over all friendship can be saved but I still think you are being a little to hard on her and overly judgemental..why her income level is even a concern im not to sure..we all have bills even the people who seam like they have everything..

Like I said in this thread. Our friendship was already in danger before this event. I mentioned her income and the fact she vacations abroad several times a year to show the money is not an issue for her. You think people that vacations 3 times a year at 2k-3k a shot can't afford to put $145 on their dog or $500.

 

Anyway. My own dog is in surgery today that's my concern now.

[GoreSP]

 

My BF tells me I am too sensitive when it comes to dogs What do you think? am I?

 

Too sensitive? Maybe. Your feelings on the matter are totally valid though and I would probably feel the same way.

 

This friend looks like she uses puppies as accessories. Not cool.

[No_Go]

Hope your dog's surgery goes fine!

 

I'm strickly against euthanazing animals to save costs for the owner... Honestly, if I heard this and it was my friend, I'd offer to borrow her the money for the biopsy.

 

Having said that - growth on the skin on the head does not necessarily need to be a simple surgery. It really depends how the growth has penetrated the surrounding tissues... I think you can't draw conclusions without talking to the vet.

 

My ex-roommate's cat that I was taking care for while she was traveling start having different sized pupils (one eye dilated, and one - constricted). I noticed that but thought it was an eye problem (she was also missing objects etc). When my roommate returned, she immediately euthanazed the cat because she said the vet suspected brain tumor Up to date (this was 3-4 years ago) I wonder did she just wanted to get rid of the cat and used the occasion... So I understand how you feel.

 

I live in a condo, I already have a dog of 45-lbs. Getting a dog even temporary isn't an option I have condo regulations to obey by.

 

Dogs have different life expectancy depending on their breed and their size. A tiny dog like a Yorkshire cross breed can live easily up to 14-15 years. A huge dog like a Danish will live 9 years. My dog a spaniel has a life expectancy of 14-15 years that is why today is he getting the surgery he needs at the age of 10. You must be very young to consider 60 old and senior. If the surgery had been too much for the dog my friend would have told me to justify not getting the surgery. Again the surgery was not necessary at first, a sample analyzed would have been sufficient. If surgery is needed than it would have been a 15 minute surgery, nothing to kill a dog over. We're talking removing a growth on top of the skin, not open heart surgery.

 

I would not allow my dog to suffer either. I would not suggest a surgery that would make an animal suffer even more. This is not what it's about here. We are talking removing a growth on top of skin, not a hip surgery, not a heart surgery.

 

Like I said in this thread. Our friendship was already in danger before this event. I mentioned her income and the fact she vacations abroad several times a year to show the money is not an issue for her. You think people that vacations 3 times a year at 2k-3k a shot can't afford to put $145 on their dog or $500.

 

Anyway. My own dog is in surgery today that's my concern now.

[nittygritty]

Yes many times. At some point I even told her to stop telling me about her dog because her lack of empathy for an animal she had for 9 years just upset me too much. That is why she did not tell me when she had her put down.

 

I hope your dog's surgery goes well too.

 

You are not wrong for not wanting to continue the friendship. It was callous and selfish of the woman to put her 9 year old pet down without even finding out what was wrong. And also upsetting for her to go and buy a new puppy. No need for you to question why you feel negatively toward her after what she did.

[SevenCity]

I live in a condo, I already have a dog of 45-lbs. Getting a dog even temporary isn't an option I have condo regulations to obey by.

 

Dogs have different life expectancy depending on their breed and their size. A tiny dog like a Yorkshire cross breed can live easily up to 14-15 years. A huge dog like a Danish will live 9 years. My dog a spaniel has a life expectancy of 14-15 years that is why today is he getting the surgery he needs at the age of 10. You must be very young to consider 60 old and senior. If the surgery had been too much for the dog my friend would have told me to justify not getting the surgery. Again the surgery was not necessary at first, a sample analyzed would have been sufficient. If surgery is needed than it would have been a 15 minute surgery, nothing to kill a dog over. We're talking removing a growth on top of the skin, not open heart surgery.

 

I would not allow my dog to suffer either. I would not suggest a surgery that would make an animal suffer even more. This is not what it's about here. We are talking removing a growth on top of skin, not a hip surgery, not a heart surgery.

 

Like I said in this thread. Our friendship was already in danger before this event. I mentioned her income and the fact she vacations abroad several times a year to show the money is not an issue for her. You think people that vacations 3 times a year at 2k-3k a shot can't afford to put $145 on their dog or $500.

 

Anyway. My own dog is in surgery today that's my concern now.

 

I don't think this has to do with money. It sounds like she didn't want to be bothered by any recovery, additional care, feeling of a "damaged" pet. Like someone opting for s new car instead of repairing the old one.

 

I don't agree with a lot of your posts but when it comes to pets I'm 100% in your camp. As another poster said, I would give a kidney for my dog.

 

Your friend is a despiable human being. The thing about pets is you don't have to get them. Period. No one is forcing you. And the fact that she ran out and got a new one means she had no feelings for the last one.

 

If you're not willing to treat them like family you shouldn't get a dog. You don't put your kid down because he's got a bump on his head.

 

I would also be annoyed with your bf. He does not have the right to tell you what to feel and how strongly you should feel about it.

 

Hope your dog has a speedy recovery.

[Poe77]

I live in a condo, I already have a dog of 45-lbs. Getting a dog even temporary isn't an option I have condo regulations to obey by.

 

Dogs have different life expectancy depending on their breed and their size. A tiny dog like a Yorkshire cross breed can live easily up to 14-15 years. A huge dog like a Danish will live 9 years. My dog a spaniel has a life expectancy of 14-15 years that is why today is he getting the surgery he needs at the age of 10. You must be very young to consider 60 old and senior. If the surgery had been too much for the dog my friend would have told me to justify not getting the surgery. Again the surgery was not necessary at first, a sample analyzed would have been sufficient. If surgery is needed than it would have been a 15 minute surgery, nothing to kill a dog over. We're talking removing a growth on top of the skin, not open heart surgery.

 

I would not allow my dog to suffer either. I would not suggest a surgery that would make an animal suffer even more. This is not what it's about here. We are talking removing a growth on top of skin, not a hip surgery, not a heart surgery.

 

Like I said in this thread. Our friendship was already in danger before this event. I mentioned her income and the fact she vacations abroad several times a year to show the money is not an issue for her. You think people that vacations 3 times a year at 2k-3k a shot can't afford to put $145 on their dog or $500.

 

Anyway. My own dog is in surgery today that's my concern now.

 

 

I understand that you could not keep the dog but again if you felt that the dog deserved to live why didn't you yourself offer to pay for the procedure? your prob going to get mad but so be it ive noticed a lot of people want to act morally superior until it comes out of their own wallet then its all of a sudden a different story if you knew the dog was in danger of being put down and you thought so strongly that she had more good years in her then again why didn't you pay for the procedure? because you thought your friend was loaded and why should you save her when she has more then enough to go around? im sorry I just get annoyed when people pass morel judgements on others when they themselves wont open their wallets..

 

And no im not "really young" im almost 40 myself but I realize dogs age differently to us cause they are not humans much as we might like to think they are they are not and that fact has to be taken into account sure the max life might be 10-14 and beyond but you have to take in the quality of life as well and im sorry but you going over your friends house here and there and seeing a "happy dog" might not have been indicative of how the dog was when you were not there.

 

I know you will just say you had the entire story but unless you live with a animal or person 24/7 you cannot..ive had dogs go down hill in hours when they were happy dogs the day before..anyways your right its prob best you end this friendship and focus on your dog now best wishes for their surgery..

[Poe77]

I don't think this has to do with money. It sounds like she didn't want to be bothered by any recovery, additional care, feeling of a "damaged" pet. Like someone opting for s new car instead of repairing the old one.

 

I don't agree with a lot of your posts but when it comes to pets I'm 100% in your camp. As another poster said, I would give a kidney for my dog.

 

Your friend is a despiable human being. The thing about pets is you don't have to get them. Period. No one is forcing you. And the fact that she ran out and got a new one means she had no feelings for the last one.

 

If you're not willing to treat them like family you shouldn't get a dog. You don't put your kid down because he's got a bump on his head.

 

I would also be annoyed with your bf. He does not have the right to tell you what to feel and how strongly you should feel about it.

 

Hope your dog has a speedy recovery.

 

 

Lots of people will get a new pet after the death of one its moving on and for some it helps the grieving process it was a few weeks I thought after that she got the new dog?..it wasn't like she put the one down and went out the same day....And since when dose a partner not have the right to tell his other half how he feels? its not like he put her down or was abusive he simply said he thought she was being a bit unreasonable and the Op herself must have questioned this for her to come here asking..

[Gaeta]

My dog is doing great, thank you. They cut him much longer than I thought. The scar runs from his lower eyelid to middle of his face. He has painkillers that keep him pretty quiet. All his blood work and tests came back normal. I hope he lives forever.

 

My last dog died at age 10. It took me 11 years before I got another dog. I had swore to myself, back then, I would never put myself through losing a dog again.

 

This one is my last one. I was single 10 years so it was just him and I for 10 years till I met my BF last year. When I lose this dog I will never get over it.

[La Trese]

I have friends who aren't particularly dog lovers, but none of them would think that was okay and if they did I probably wouldn't be their friends. I don't expect every person to want to spend thousands of dollars treating a serious illness for a dog, but I do expect them to at least put SOME kind of effort into at least preventative, basic care in these situations. What your friend did says a lot about their sense of responsibility and loyalty because if they aren't willing to spend 500 dollars on a companion of 9 years its likely they are the type of person to throw their friends under the buss for the slightest inconvenience too. On top of that its just hard for me as a dog lover to connect with people who have no sense of respect for animals....as I said I have plenty of non animal lover friends who wouldn't want the responsibility of one, but they still respect animals. I have a lot more respect for people who are responsible and wouldn't get a dog they aren't 100% committed to in the first place than for people who treat animals like objects they can upgrade.

[La Trese]

I understand that you could not keep the dog but again if you felt that the dog deserved to live why didn't you yourself offer to pay for the procedure? your prob going to get mad but so be it ive noticed a lot of people want to act morally superior until it comes out of their own wallet then its all of a sudden a different story if you knew the dog was in danger of being put down and you thought so strongly that she had more good years in her then again why didn't you pay for the procedure? because you thought your friend was loaded and why should you save her when she has more then enough to go around? im sorry I just get annoyed when people pass morel judgements on others when they themselves wont open their wallets..

 

And no im not "really young" im almost 40 myself but I realize dogs age differently to us cause they are not humans much as we might like to think they are they are not and that fact has to be taken into account sure the max life might be 10-14 and beyond but you have to take in the quality of life as well and im sorry but you going over your friends house here and there and seeing a "happy dog" might not have been indicative of how the dog was when you were not there.

 

I know you will just say you had the entire story but unless you live with a animal or person 24/7 you cannot..ive had dogs go down hill in hours when they were happy dogs the day before..anyways your right its prob best you end this friendship and focus on your dog now best wishes for their surgery..

 

I don't think OP is acting morally superior. Why should they offer to pay for the dog when they never took on the responsibility of the dog in the first place. Especially since that will only encourage the irresponsible pet owner to keep getting pets and being irresponsible. People get outraged when they hear about abusive parents, that doesn't mean they have the resources to adopt those kids or the obligation to.