Happily married to a man, desire the touch of a woman

[elaine567]

I guess there are plenty of men out there who would not mind and in fact may enjoy watching you with another woman..

 

Just because she is bisexual doesn't necessarily mean she would let her husband watch her with another woman, why would she?

The other women may not be interested in men at all or may not want to "share" her lover, not in the threesome sense anyway... .

I doubt husbands who are bisexual want their wives involved in threesomes with other homosexual/bisexcual men, so why would bisexual women want that?

 

Being biisexual doesn't equal "I love threesomes".

That is the stuff of fantasy and porn.

[Just a Guy]

Hi Elaine, Thank you for your comment. Just to clarify I said that there are men who would be agreeable to their wives being with another woman and MAY even like watching their wives with another woman. This does not have to be the case and even if they wanted to watch, their wives and the OW would have the veto on that. Just having the desire to watch does not necessarily translate into actually doing so. As far as threesomes go, I did not mean to imply any such thing. Watching is not a threesome. Also if the wife and her friend do not want the husband to watch if wants to then he has every right to turn down his wife's request to share a bi relationship with another woman. I mean "What is good for the goose is good for the gander" in a manner of speaking. Warm wishes.

[Poutrew]

If my husband wanted to be with other women then it's something I'm not giving him. If he wanted to be with a man I wouldn't mind since that's something I can't satisfy for him. I'm not looking for variety of the same thing.

 

As a man this is what I am hearing: "It is OK for me to be with a woman because I feel a same sex relationship doesn't threaten you as a man. However, I will absolutely forbid you to have another woman - only a man, because man sex doesn't threaten me."

 

The problem, dearie, is that you do not get to decide what your husband wants to do, just like you are not going to let him manipulate you into not having lesbian sex (admit it, if he says no you will just go underground with your affairs). Your husband will counter the above argument by saying something along the lines of "You get turned with the person you are sexing with, right? I don't see the difference as being important. If you get to bang someone you are horny over, then so can I. It will be a woman because I like women. However, to pay lip service to your weak argument about differences, since you are a 40 year old brunette, I will have my sex with a 22 year old blonde, OK, Hunny bunny?"

 

Personally, this is what I would do. And when I do find another woman who is compatible enough with me to replace you, I will. The transition wil be smooth and painfree. And, I would no longer have to chew on the shyt sandwich you are handing me...

[mrs rubble]

Talk to your husband about it he may just be fine with it. I'm bisexual and my fiancé has always known it, he has no problem with it and has watched me with another woman before. We've been talking about swinging now too, have talked through what we're both ok with. Communication is the key.

[oldshirt]

It is true that some lesbian/bisexual women will not her H watching or joining in. In fact finding another woman that will be willing to get down with both of them and whom both she and her H will be ok with is like finding a needle in a haystack.

 

But there are 24 hours in a day, 7 days in a week, 4 weeks in a month, 12 months in a year and they probably have many decades of life left in them - if they are committed to remaining together and working together for their mutual enjoyment and collaboration, they can do it. It may not be the first woman of choice or the 50th, but couples do have 3somes in the world. It can be done if they both are cool with it and both are willing to work at it together.

 

The issue here is whether she is willing to make that level of commitment and sacrifice to be happily and healthily married to him and whether he is willing to grant her that level of freedom and latitude.

 

It really is about communication and working together whether he allows her to get with women on her own vs whether he will allow it as long as he is present in one way or another or whether he will simply say no.

 

Her options are to sneak out and cheat, allow him to participate, try to get the freedom to play alone, suck it up and live without - or leave him.

 

It's all in what they can work out together.

[aileD]

Listen Maria. You don't have to convince us. You have to convince your husband

 

You're married, and you married a man you didn't tell about your bisexuality.

 

You're not going to find the answers here. We get what you're saying, it makes sense.

But you are married .

 

 

Either

-tell him and see where it goes from there

 

-Don't tell him but stop whining about it and accept the fact you're not going to be with a woman sexually because you don't want to talk to H about

 

-divorce him and find someone you're not afraid to show your true colors to.

 

-cheat on him and make him hate you when he finds out.

 

 

Why don't you just be honest?? It seems the easier route. Then you will find out how he feels and you can make a decision from there

[Vinny1951]

When I married my virgin wife I did not know that she was fantasizing only about women. One day she invited her newly divorced and depressed girlfriend to have sex with me to cheer her girlfriend up since she was complaining about not having sex for almost a year. I took the opportunity to ask my wife to join in having never discussed a threesome before.

 

Turns out that the girlfriend is bi and my wife came out of the closet that night. We had our shared girlfriend move in with us in a relationship that lasted 30 years and was problem free. My wife needs both a man and a woman in her life as does our girlfriend, but wants a man for marriage and romance and a woman for sex and companionship. Both women liked sex with men better some days more than others.

 

My wife and I agreed that had I insisted on monogamy, we would have divorced because she was being consumed with a desire for a woman. Her girlfriend divorced her husband because he expected her to be monogamous and she could not. We were perfect together and had a great life.

 

There is hope for you. We never even discussed a threesome but it happened and happened with a woman we knew since childhood and who was educated and hot looking. We have had a happy life and we averted a divorce since my wife did not want to cheat to have sex with women. I believe that if you work at it, you can make it work for you. My wife and I have shared 3 other women so there are women out there that enjoy sex with both genders. We did not risk our marriage and yet had someone else to love in addition to each other. We each had our own bedrooms and we only went out as a threesome. We were like a marriage of three people and it was grand. It took years and some work to make it all come together but my wife was the sly one in coming up with a way for her to have both a woman and a man in her life.

Edited February 1, 2017 by Vinny1951