Wife and male coworker

[sandylee1]

 

 

 

And our sex lives are somewhat strange, my wife was molested by her brother at a young age, and also by her baby sitters sons, and she doesn't really want to "touch me" sexually if you know what I mean, and I don't know if it was from the abuse or not, but she likes being with a man, she is very attractive and feminine looking.

But I think that's what hurts sometimes is knowing that I am not getting the "full deal" howver you want to put it like most guys get and knowing she is giving someone else some attention, it's a very different situation, but I knew it going in.

 

I have to ask, why did you agree to this?

You married a younger bisexual woman, who you're not having a full sexual relationship with and may never do. ...

You certainly have given up a lot to be with her and she doesn't seem to give a stuff about you.

 

I don't know the extent of the not touching. Does that mean you haven't consumated the marriage?

 

The way your wife speaks to you, shows she doesn't give your feelings any regards and also that she knows you'll accept what she does as you feel so privileged to have her, that you'll accept it.

 

She basically told you, that your going on about Dave is opening the door for him. Meaning he's interested in her and she knows it.

 

Are you happy to live the rest of your life this way? If not, do something.

 

I know I mentioned being friends with a male coworker, but TBH I wouldn't hang out with him if he wasn't gay, because rumours would start flying around. That makes a big difference.

 

My suggestion, if you're staying in the marriage, would be to stop mentioning Dave altogether. Ramp up your social activities /hobbies without her and don't make her the centre of your life.

 

Your wife seems to like male attention, which is sometimes an issue with people who suffered CSA - (childhood sexual abuse).

 

Has she been married before?

[Sweetfish]

What if Dave was gay? Would that change your mind about everything?

 

I'm inclined to believe that your wife has a 59 year old husband who has the "relationship rules" and insecurities of a 16 year old boy.

 

Also, when you said that you already put up with other stuff from her in order to have a wife of her age, I had to roll my eyes. When I combine that with the comment that you've been squabbling over Dave since before you got married, well, to me, that's a huge indication that you decided you could put up with that too.

 

I wonder if you might have made a better decision to exchange a few years for someone more naturally compatible.

 

Oh well. It's not like you didn't know about this before you got married. It's a little late to decide you're going to put your foot down over this, don't you think?

 

If Dave was gay obviously having sex with the wife is not in his plan....

 

And the connection with gay dave maybe on a female level...

But were talking about two opposite sexes actively hanging out, having dinner, and having drinks. Actively, sending pictures and texting each other.

 

So funny?

 

What happen if the O.P. was a female and said the husband was doing the same thing. The narrative would be soooo different. What happen if the husband told the wife... "the open door" policy she presented to the O.P.

 

The double standards is so sickening.

 

No man should be taking your wife or gf out for drinks every other weekend alone.. thats totally absurd and you know it... unless thats how you roll.

[preraph]

If Dave is gay, your wife needs to stop playing with your feelings like a cat with a mouse and just let you know that!!!

[BluesPower]

She is having an affair with Dave. It has been going on for a while.

 

He is younger and more handsome than you, he is not gay.

 

You sir are being a fool. Sorry to say.

 

This is just one reason that you do not marry women this much younger than you.

 

Everything she is doing points to an affair. Everything is inappropriate.

 

You really need to divorce her, she is making a complete fool out of you. I guarantee that everyone at work knows about the affair.

 

I really hope that you wake up soon.

[Sweetfish]

She is having an affair with Dave. It has been going on for a while.

 

He is younger and more handsome than you, he is not gay.

 

You sir are being a fool. Sorry to say.

 

This is just one reason that you do not marry women this much younger than you.

 

Everything she is doing points to an affair. Everything is inappropriate.

 

You really need to divorce her, she is making a complete fool out of you. I guarantee that everyone at work knows about the affair.

 

I really hope that you wake up soon.

 

Im sorry to say it, but when bluespowers says there is an affair..

 

There is an affair. He is always on point.

[Blanco]

By chance, is your financial situation significantly better than your wife's? Between the age gap and her not wanting you to touch her in a "sexual" way, I'm wondering what exactly brought you two folks together.

[Frozensushi]

Everything she is doing points to an affair. Everything is inappropriate.

 

I agree with this. I find it funny how if this same thing was coming from a woman and her husband was super chummy with a female co-worker like that, the pitchforks would come out.

 

Don't ignore what your gut is telling you. Your wife's behavior is highly inappropriate as is Dave's.

 

I've tried to have 'close' female friend's in the past. I would always be drawn to married women with kids because I thought it was safe. Every time, every single time, I found out they were in love with me. I never put out signals of attraction or did anything Dave does. So, in my eyes, your wife definitely has 'Dave fever'.

[Miss Peach]

I have a similar set up at work with someone twice my age. I would never do anything with this guy. So it could be innocent. It's a good sign IMO if she's never alone with him. But the sanitized texts and a few other things sound odd.

 

I think the real issue if you don't feel you are getting what you need from your marriage. The more you push at this and don't improve the issue in your marriage, the more you will push her towards him IMO.

[Blanco]

Those familiar with me know I'm often more inclined to side with the ladies than the guys, despite being a guy. But this is an issue of boundaries, plain and simple. Whether or not the OP's wife has any intentions of betrayal, it is safe to assume that the same is not true of Dave. Either that or he's really dense asking a married woman out for drinks alone after work hours.

 

I'm not the jealous type, but I would feel uncomfortable with my non-existent wife going out for drinks with another man. Group setting with other co-workers? OK, not that big of a deal. But whether or not there's ill-intent, a married person partaking in date-like activities with someone else is, at best, a suspicious looking move.

 

When we add in that this woman apparently doesn't like to be touched in a sexual way by her husband and that she's provided him with modified text messages, and his wife is doing herself no favors to show that she's not emotionally invested in this co-worker.