d'Arthez Posted July 21, 2005 Share Posted July 21, 2005 Originally posted by XNemesisX P.S. Later down the road, if I ended up with the guy "I felt no bond with yet" I would be deeply hurt. So this sort of info shouldn't EVER be revealed if you end up with the person Might be difficult if the other person has contracted a STD. Or possibly contracted a STD. If he sleeps with more than one person, and that person sleeps with more than 1 person, chances rise quickly for that to happen. Link to post Share on other sites
Cecelius Posted July 21, 2005 Share Posted July 21, 2005 Originally posted by RecordProducer So do you guys think that it's okay to sleep with more than one person during the non-exclusive period? Would you do it? How would you feel if your partner did it? Any experiences with that? Depends. If she happened to get busy with a guy in the not too distant past but it doesn't seem as if it's a continuing thing (with him or that she sleeps around with men she dates generally) then it's not a big deal, though I'd probably hang back just because getting involved in spots where another guy's just been is plain nasty. If she generally has a history of sleeping with a number of people at a time, or just has an extensive hook up history, then she's at best datable but not girlfriend material. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted July 21, 2005 Share Posted July 21, 2005 Originally posted by Cecelius If she generally has a history of sleeping with a number of people at a time, or just has an extensive hook up history, then she's at best datable but not girlfriend material. I would agree CECELIUS. As long as your not sleeping with anyone it is OK to date as many people as you want at the same time. Now, IF you're sleeping with someone and have an understanding with him/her that you are only exclusive sexually then it is ok to date others as long as you don't have sex with them. I don't think it is ever ok to have sex with two people at the same time unless all three are in the same bed Link to post Share on other sites
scratch Posted July 21, 2005 Share Posted July 21, 2005 Originally posted by RecordProducer So do you guys think that it's okay to sleep with more than one person during the non-exclusive period? Would you do it? How would you feel if your partner did it? Any experiences with that? Absolutely. The hurt stemming from someone you're dating sleeping with other people should not come from the violation of an innate and imagined possessory interest, but from the fact that they actually broke an express promise not to sleep with other people. No express promise, no harm done. Express promise broken, hell hath no fury. [Toss in the usual disclaimer that I'm in the minority with regard to this opinion.] Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted July 21, 2005 Share Posted July 21, 2005 Originally posted by Cecelius Depends. If she happened to get busy with a guy in the not too distant past but it doesn't seem as if it's a continuing thing (with him or that she sleeps around with men she dates generally) then it's not a big deal, though I'd probably hang back just because getting involved in spots where another guy's just been is plain nasty. Sorry, I didn't get this part. Can you explain it to me again please... in English this time? Link to post Share on other sites
loony Posted July 21, 2005 Share Posted July 21, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale I don't think it is ever ok to have sex with two people at the same time unless all three are in the same bed If you sleep around because you are able to separate love and sex, then why make this distinction if it's one or two or more women?? If sex does not equal commitment to you anyway, then why limit yourself to one person? Doesn't sound very logical. Link to post Share on other sites
Cecelius Posted July 21, 2005 Share Posted July 21, 2005 Originally posted by RecordProducer Sorry, I didn't get this part. Can you explain it to me again please... in English this time? Original question was whether its okay to sleep with others during the non-exclusive period. My answer was yes, BUT 1) I'm not going to bang a girl who just got banged the other day -- too gross and doesn't make me think well of the girl 2) I would not "date" any girl who has a habit of sleeping with people during non-exclusive periods. This is what I wouldn't do. Others may differ. Link to post Share on other sites
JS17 Posted July 21, 2005 Share Posted July 21, 2005 personally, i don't think it's ok to sleep with two people at the same time. i never understood that concept. why would you even want to? Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted July 21, 2005 Share Posted July 21, 2005 Originally posted by loony If you sleep around because you are able to separate love and sex, then why make this distinction if it's one or two or more women?? If sex does not equal commitment to you anyway, then why limit yourself to one person? Doesn't sound very logical. One person at a time LOONEY....you bang one chick and when you're done with her then you bang another chick and so on..... i call it "serial non-committed bed-hopping". But don't have sex with person #1 on wed nite then have sex with person #2 thurs nite then have sex again with #1 friday nite. that is what i mean. Link to post Share on other sites
loony Posted July 21, 2005 Share Posted July 21, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale One person at a time LOONEY....you bang one chick and when you're done with her then you bang another chick and so on..... i call it "serial non-committed bed-hopping". But don't have sex with person #1 on wed nite then have sex with person #2 thurs nite then have sex again with #1 friday nite. that is what i mean. Why not?? What's the problem for you with having a different girl every night? Link to post Share on other sites
Cecelius Posted July 21, 2005 Share Posted July 21, 2005 Originally posted by loony Why not?? What's the problem for you with having a different girl every night? I don't have a problem with that, personally. I just feel bad for the guy who comes after me with each such girl... No plans to be that guy. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted July 21, 2005 Share Posted July 21, 2005 Originally posted by loony Why not?? What's the problem for you with having a different girl every night? there is nothing wrong with that as long as they are all one nighters Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted July 21, 2005 Share Posted July 21, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale there is nothing wrong with that as long as they are all one nighters Word. People get all weird when it comes to sex. IMO, I care not what anyone else does, even if I don't agree with it, as long as they keep it to themselves and aren't hurting anyone and are having consensual sex. Other than that, why do I care what other people do in bed? Unless I'm in bed with them. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted July 21, 2005 Share Posted July 21, 2005 Originally posted by blind_otter Word. People get all weird when it comes to sex. Hey B_0...long time no see welcome back. See...when you're 20 and in college its fairly easy both mentally and physically to have sex with multiple partners. When you get to my age (40), it is very hard to have sex with multiple people at the same time. You just cannot do it on a moral, emotional and physical level. its not worth it. Its hard enuf to sexually satisfy one person let alone 2 or 3 or more. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted July 21, 2005 Share Posted July 21, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale Hey B_0...long time no see welcome back. See...when you're 20 and in college its fairly easy both mentally and physically to have sex with multiple partners. When you get to my age (40), it is very hard to have sex with multiple people at the same time. You just cannot do it on a moral, emotional and physical level. its not worth it. Its hard enuf to sexually satisfy one person let alone 2 or 3 or more. Thanks, I missed you guys. I was in Europe the past 10 days, before that I was waiting from this dude to fix my 'puter for me... Yeah, I was more able to have casual sex when I was younger. I still could do it, now, but I just don't want to make the effort. It's easier to just be with one dude. Especially when he buys you things and takes you on trips. And he has an especially delightful penis. Or some kind of crazy sexual mojo. Link to post Share on other sites
XNemesisX Posted July 21, 2005 Share Posted July 21, 2005 Originally posted by Cecelius Original question was whether its okay to sleep with others during the non-exclusive period. My answer was yes, BUT 1) I'm not going to bang a girl who just got banged the other day -- too gross and doesn't make me think well of the girl And how would you ever know?! 2) I would not "date" any girl who has a habit of sleeping with people during non-exclusive periods. This is what I wouldn't do. Others may differ. Once again..and how would you ever know?! People usually don't reveal such information about their self. Like "Yeah I like to screw people that I'm not even dating...is that okay with you?!" Nope...normally you would hear something like, "Oh I only have sex with people that I am in an exclusive relationship with.....except for you of course. But with everyone else I was in a long term relationship!" People are liars! Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted July 21, 2005 Share Posted July 21, 2005 Originally posted by XNemesisX Nope...normally you would hear something like, "Oh I only have sex with people that I am in an exclusive relationship with.....except for you of course. But with everyone else I was in a long term relationship!" People are liars! another thing you may hear XNX is "oh, honey baby, you're the best I ever had..." unfortunately they forget to add the "...in the last week" part Link to post Share on other sites
d'Arthez Posted July 21, 2005 Share Posted July 21, 2005 Originally posted by XNemesisX People are liars! Some (or most?) people are liars. All liars are people. Link to post Share on other sites
Cecelius Posted July 21, 2005 Share Posted July 21, 2005 Originally posted by XNemesisX And how would you ever know?! Once again..and how would you ever know?! People usually don't reveal such information about their self. Like "Yeah I like to screw people that I'm not even dating...is that okay with you?!" Nope...normally you would hear something like, "Oh I only have sex with people that I am in an exclusive relationship with.....except for you of course. But with everyone else I was in a long term relationship!" People are liars! Boy cooties wash off girls slower than girl cooties wash off boys... Link to post Share on other sites
scratch Posted July 21, 2005 Share Posted July 21, 2005 Originally posted by XNemesisX Nope...normally you would hear something like, "Oh I only have sex with people that I am in an exclusive relationship with.....except for you of course. But with everyone else I was in a long term relationship!" This rings true to me. I have a one-nighter every couple of months, and about 75% of the women say something to the effect of "I've never done anything like this!" My observation is that it happens disproportionately often with women who are visitng NY or if I am visiting their city, which I assume has to do with deniability. Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmaXOXO Posted July 21, 2005 Share Posted July 21, 2005 Well, as someone who dated more than one guy at a time, I can only give you a female perspective from my own personal experience. Not to say that all females conduct themselves the same…particularly with this new FWB (friends with benefits) thing that seems to be so popular among the college crowd. "Dating" to me was like spending time with a platonic friend who had some potential. However, "dating" DID NOT include giving away the booty. It just meant going out, having fun, and spending quality time with someone until you got to know them better. Eventually, I would connect more with one guy than the others and start spending more time with him than the rest. As the relationship between myself and the one particular guy began to develop and grow…the others would slip further and further into the dreaded platonic "buddy" category … (from which there is usually no escape. ) Sex didn't happen until ((Mr. Special )) and I had already discussed our relationship expectations and had come to a mutual agreement that we were committed to giving it a go and remaining sexually monogamous. By that time contact (and interest) with the other guys had already begun to fizzle out. If they did call, it wasn't difficult by that time to explain politely that I was in a relationship and couldn't spend time with them out of respect for my boyfriend. I've never met a grown-up yet who didn't understand and respect that decision. Of course, if the relationship ended with ((Mr. Not-So-D*mn-Special-Anymore )) …I never, ever used those other guys as "fall back" men and attempted to rekindle anything. To me, treating someone like second runner up is just plain tacky. Instead, you go out, meet new people and start the process of elimination all over again. Do you really think females and males play the relationship game so differently??? Link to post Share on other sites
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