Sweetfish Posted January 21, 2017 Share Posted January 21, 2017 Actually I broke up with him. Ok I broke up wit him because I wasn't allowed to date our whole relationship(I wasn't allowed to date till I graduated high school). In addition my parents forbid me to ever see him again. So I was scared right before graduation and broke up with him. I had planned for us to get back together once I started college( the college is only 5 minutes from his house). I just told him this about 2 days ago and he was really nice about it and said he thought I was through with him and that's why he wanted to move on. I kept apologizing about not telling him the whole story. When I broke up with him I just told him we were broke up and confused him a whole bunch until he believed it....now I regret that. He keeps telling me not to be jealous and how he don't know if he should talk with me about the other girl because he is afraid of hurting me and doesn't want that. That is why I ALWAYS ask for more information in these thread... because the OP always leaves out the core issue of the problem. Then the members start giving advice and this advice is solely to fix your problem without the backlash of you being criticized. I can only assume you didn't tell him the truth when you broke up with him and you didn't give us a clear reason to the breakup so typical the members start to coddle you because they are reflecting how they felt when someone broke up with them. I wouldn't consider your self "The Fall back girl" or "Plan B" You simply fell pray to your parents wishes and I will admit that is a tricky situation. We broke up in June over something really stupid and we still talk to each other. We were best friends until recently. He told me that he’s been talking to this new girl and that he is thinking about asking her out. We had promise rings and planned on getting married in a few years You need to understand that you severed that dream. I'm still confused to your story... did you break up with him after high school or during high-school and did he know your plan to get back with him in college? I agree on one thing.. You should go NC and since your going to college things are going to change... your gonna meet a lot of guys and girls and your priorities, views and options in life are going to change. If the boyfriend comes back... he comes back.. if he doesn't.. well he doesn't. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
whatdeww18 Posted January 22, 2017 Share Posted January 22, 2017 Actually I broke up with him. Ok I broke up wit him because I wasn't allowed to date our whole relationship(I wasn't allowed to date till I graduated high school). In addition my parents forbid me to ever see him again. So I was scared right before graduation and broke up with him. I had planned for us to get back together once I started college( the college is only 5 minutes from his house). I just told him this about 2 days ago and he was really nice about it and said he thought I was through with him and that's why he wanted to move on. I kept apologizing about not telling him the whole story. When I broke up with him I just told him we were broke up and confused him a whole bunch until he believed it....now I regret that. He keeps telling me not to be jealous and how he don't know if he should talk with me about the other girl because he is afraid of hurting me and doesn't want that. I don't think anyone else needs to tell you how bad it is to not give the reason for a break up, when it was circumstantial and was dealing with parents. You have to learn that next time, either you listen to your parents out of respect and break up for good or learn that your love for this guy was enough to overcome that. Either way, he got the impression that things weren't going well and I'm sure he had all these emotions going on. He probably built a wall quite high as now it seems like you are dumper who sees that he's moving on and you only want him back now that he's moving on. You told him your reasons now and you have to go leave him alone and let the feelings do their work. I'm glad you could clear the reasons to him and tell him, at least. It's not easy. I do hope things work out but how will you approach the situation with your parents in the future? I don't see the problem for the break up being resolved. -WhatDEWWWWW Link to post Share on other sites
Author Countryangel707 Posted January 22, 2017 Author Share Posted January 22, 2017 That is why I ALWAYS ask for more information in these thread... because the OP always leaves out the core issue of the problem. Then the members start giving advice and this advice is solely to fix your problem without the backlash of you being criticized. I can only assume you didn't tell him the truth when you broke up with him and you didn't give us a clear reason to the breakup so typical the members start to coddle you because they are reflecting how they felt when someone broke up with them. I wouldn't consider your self "The Fall back girl" or "Plan B" You simply fell pray to your parents wishes and I will admit that is a tricky situation. You need to understand that you severed that dream. I'm still confused to your story... did you break up with him after high school or during high-school and did he know your plan to get back with him in college? I agree on one thing.. You should go NC and since your going to college things are going to change... your gonna meet a lot of guys and girls and your priorities, views and options in life are going to change. If the boyfriend comes back... he comes back.. if he doesn't.. well he doesn't. I broke up with him before graduation. We went to different High schools,He will be graduating this year. I was talking to him last night and he seemed so confused. He told me that he liked me and he thinks he might even still love me, but at the same time he also likes this other girl. He said he didn't know what to do. He said that he wanted me and him to hang out this week and start haging out again and grow closer together. Link to post Share on other sites
DarrenB Posted January 22, 2017 Share Posted January 22, 2017 I was talking to him last night and he seemed so confused. He told me that he liked me and he thinks he might even still love me, but at the same time he also likes this other girl. If someone is unsure or appears 'confused' as to whether if they love you or not, then that in itself is the answer which is that they do not. Don't and I can't stress it enough, don't settle for someone who will not treat you as a priority, especially as a romantic one. Someone who intends to keep more than one option, does not deserve any at all. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted January 22, 2017 Share Posted January 22, 2017 I broke up with him before graduation. We went to different High schools,He will be graduating this year. I was talking to him last night and he seemed so confused. He told me that he liked me and he thinks he might even still love me, but at the same time he also likes this other girl. He said he didn't know what to do. He said that he wanted me and him to hang out this week and start haging out again and grow closer together. I sense you will probably go ahead and meet him, but it's a very bad idea. If he really wanted you, he'd be dating you. Now. He wouldn't wait until college starts, he wouldn't be interested in another girl, he wouldn't be trying to position you as a his security blanket while he actively pursues other girls. I realize you are both very young, but I very much someone had told my younger self not to be the girl waiting on the dock while the guy she wants fishes from other ponds. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 26, 2017 Share Posted January 26, 2017 You should be single going into college, where you will expand your social and cultural circle, and it's very important that you do that and not just cleave to what you're familiar with. He can still be a friend or "one of" your dates, but you should not commit to him. He is obviously going to also date other girls. Agree to not be exclusive. Link to post Share on other sites
james25 Posted January 27, 2017 Share Posted January 27, 2017 ive been trying to think about that for 11 months. its impossible Link to post Share on other sites
Author Countryangel707 Posted January 28, 2017 Author Share Posted January 28, 2017 So this girl he's been talking to asked him to go ice skating tonight and he's going. He keeps asking me what to wear and I told him I'd help him. We never have hung out he said he didn't know if it was a good idea after all. So it's pretty official that he's dating this other girl now and I'm completely going insane. My dad came in and told me that I have been crying so hard that my eyes and lips are swollen. My ex keeps telling me that maybe in the future we'll be back together. I hope so. I pray so. He said he still wants to be friends with me even best friends as long as it doesn't interfere with his new love. I'm so lost and I don't know what to do with myself. I don't want to eat or do anything but cry and sleep. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Countryangel707 Posted January 29, 2017 Author Share Posted January 29, 2017 He told me this morning that he didn't think it was good for the two of us to talk anymore cause he didn't want his new girl to think he was seeing someone. He wants to be loyal to her. He said I could have all the stuff I gave him back and he'd see me around at college. He said we could occasionally snap chat but that was it. So I guess now at the moment I can only hope and pray for a new relationship with him when he starts college. I don't know how I'm gonna live without him. He was my one and only friend besides God and family. Link to post Share on other sites
anna121 Posted January 29, 2017 Share Posted January 29, 2017 I'm sorry. That you have no friends other than him is disturbing. Why do you have no friends? What can you do to change that? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Countryangel707 Posted January 29, 2017 Author Share Posted January 29, 2017 Well Im a rather old fashioned type and im very reserved. I have social anxiety and so talking to people makes me nervous. I'm always thinking that people are looking down on me and always self conscious of the way i appear to people. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Countryangel707 Posted January 29, 2017 Author Share Posted January 29, 2017 So I guess my new question is Is there any chance for me when he starts college where I am? Is there a chance that maybe just maybe we will try again at a relationship? We will most likely have a few classes together. Link to post Share on other sites
Blanco Posted January 29, 2017 Share Posted January 29, 2017 Well Im a rather old fashioned type and im very reserved. I have social anxiety and so talking to people makes me nervous. I'm always thinking that people are looking down on me and always self conscious of the way i appear to people. You should do yourself a long-term favor and focus your attention on breaking out of your shell rather than thinking about how to get your ex back. College should be a time of branching out and making your world bigger. Any decent sized college campus has a social outlet for just about any type of person. I went to a state college, and even they had something for everyone that far exceeded the typical "get wasted every weekend" scene. I'm a naturally shy person, so I understand that it's tempting to retreat to the familiar and comfortable. But you'll never have as great of an opportunity again to connect with other people as you do while in college. Resist the urge to use your low self-value as a crutch to avoid meeting new people and experiencing new things. Your future self will thank you not to make your ex boyfriend your entire world. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jamili Posted January 29, 2017 Share Posted January 29, 2017 You should do yourself a long-term favor and focus your attention on breaking out of your shell rather than thinking about how to get your ex back. College should be a time of branching out and making your world bigger. Any decent sized college campus has a social outlet for just about any type of person. I went to a state college, and even they had something for everyone that far exceeded the typical "get wasted every weekend" scene. I'm a naturally shy person, so I understand that it's tempting to retreat to the familiar and comfortable. But you'll never have as great of an opportunity again to connect with other people as you do while in college. Resist the urge to use your low self-value as a crutch to avoid meeting new people and experiencing new things. Your future self will thank you not to make your ex boyfriend your entire world. Also, interestingly, if you don't make your ex or any other S.O. your world, they will be more attracted to you. As soon as you start making them your world, it turns them off. No one likes this, it is unattractive. Live you life and enjoy it, and people will be drawn to you naturally. When that happens, continue to focus on your life and your growth, keep that your primary focus and concern, and you will be golden. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Countryangel707 Posted January 30, 2017 Author Share Posted January 30, 2017 Also, interestingly, if you don't make your ex or any other S.O. your world, they will be more attracted to you. As soon as you start making them your world, it turns them off. No one likes this, it is unattractive. Live you life and enjoy it, and people will be drawn to you naturally. When that happens, continue to focus on your life and your growth, keep that your primary focus and concern, and you will be golden. So do you think I have another chance when he comes to my college? Link to post Share on other sites
Blanco Posted January 30, 2017 Share Posted January 30, 2017 So do you think I have another chance when he comes to my college? Sorry, but you're totally missing the point of that post. And you completely ignored my post because it wasn't some rah rah rah nonsense about how to get your ex back. Girl, bye! Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted January 30, 2017 Share Posted January 30, 2017 Sorry, but you're totally missing the point of that post. And you completely ignored my post because it wasn't some rah rah rah nonsense about how to get your ex back. Girl, bye! You are absolutely correct, Blanco. Most everyone is telling her to move on but she looks for/clings to the ones that give her the least little bit of encouragement to do what she wants. That is akin to going to 10 doctors until you get the diagnosis you want, not the correct one . . . Her original question was how to get her EX back . . . I'm not going to give advice that supports poor a poor decision/outcome that will likely cause the OP more harm than good. All the best to you, OP. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted January 30, 2017 Share Posted January 30, 2017 So do you think I have another chance when he comes to my college? No, he's already moved on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Countryangel707 Posted February 3, 2017 Author Share Posted February 3, 2017 I have to admit that after 4 days of no contact I broke it today and asked him if he was gonna try out for football in college. He was slow to respond but he finally did and we started talking. I asked him if he was mad at me and he said no he was just trying to part ways with me for a while and then we can catch up. I responded and asked him if he was trying to nicely tell me to get out of his life forever and he said no not forever just for a while and we could catch up at college. This sounds like to me he's planning to dump this current girl after graduation. So I'm wondering if maybe he just wants a girlfriend at school with him to brag about to friends. I'm not even as worried about getting back with him now as I am just trying to figure him out. Link to post Share on other sites
lana-banana Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 Oh, kiddo. You are completely misinterpreting this. No, he is not interested in dating you now or in the future. When he says you can catch up at college, he is hoping that you'll have moved on by then and can be friends. Block him. He doesn't want to be a part of your life anymore. The sooner you accept this, the better. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
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