BF broke up with me by text, being so cold and heartless, is he the bad one?

[spaceraider234]

<Moderator note: Please reference this thread, posted from a duplicate account, for further discussion and background on this topic.>

 

This is going to be long winded so please bare with me. Me (23) and my now ex boyfriend (30) haven’t been right for a while. Recently we didn’t talk or see eachother for a whole week, I needed space from his negativity all the time, he didn’t speak to me at all. ( that is explained in my other post) I contacted him and we saw eachother I went round there he was so happy to see me and told me how much he missed me and had his best friend back.

 

Anyway everything was fine. He stayed at mine Sunday night, I went to work in the morning and on returning home I found tissues in the bin with semen on, yes not very nice but I did leave him frustrated in the morning, however it didn’t bother me. I went round and made a comment laughing about it saying id found them and he completely denied it whilst smiling, said it must of been my brother ( I live at home, plus my brother had been at work ) not expecting him to deny it I was shocked, he was so adamant to lie to me, looked me in the eye and swore on it, and then went on to say you don’t trust people do you ( he likes to spin things back on me ) I couldn’t believe he could lie so easily about something like that. Anyways naturally I was off with him not knowing quite how to feel. He is also moving back home to his parents 3 hours away as he has been living at his sisters for 7 months who is my best friend.

 

( he told me this when we got back in contact again after the week ) He doesn’t get on with her boyfriend who has just moved in. He said until he sorted something out I could go down to see him and he could come down 1 week out of a month and work down here (hes not in permanent work he just knows someone who gives him work as and when). Anyways after I discovered he was lying to me he went on to say how he was thinking of buying a camper van when he gets his claim money from an accident and living in it. (I thought what about us? He spoke about us moving in not even a month ago) We went to bed and I wasn’t affectionate I couldn’t help it, I was angry that he had lied and angry that he was leaving and spoke about the future that seemed to not have me included) he asked ‘ are you ok sweetie’’ I said yes and he said good night babe.

 

I woke up got ready for work and Said I was feeling sad – he said why and I said I feel like you’ve lied to me and he got his defense up and started being arsy. I kissed him on the head and went to leave, We had a brief bicker and I said when your out of your mood and your ready to talk ill be waiting and left I didn’t slam doors I just left. He text me whilst I was at work saying unless you give me an apology for being rude were not going to talk, you can drop the attitude cause I’m not putting up with that bollocks. I just said if I don’t belive you about something that’s not your problem, I let it go I just wanted to leave and he was going on saying how rude I am and thank god we don’t llive together ( he can be real nasty when hes annoyed) I honestly felt like I hadn’t done anything wrong in my eyes. He was saying if I don’t say sorry its over and I said I’m sick of you threatening to end it all the time ( hes done it a few times when weve fell out and he doesn’t get his own way – me apologizing for offending him with my rudeness – he thinks hes right all the time and no one can say or do anything to him)

 

Anyway he was calling me selfish, rude, inconsiderate and a self righteous bitch – I feel I’m none of these things if anything these are all the things he is. I said get off your high horse and he said do you thinkthat was wise? Its over I’m done. Removed his relationsip status to single immediately and blocked me on facebook. Messages went back and forth, he said some things like I really don’t like you any more your rude, were you not loved as a child so you don’t know how to love and care for someone? I have no interest in us anymore. I said how can all your feelings go so quickly and he said Easy when I see that side of you again ( me being rude apparently) I said sorry for not saying bye properly and he said no I don’t want an apology for that, you were rude how you left.

 

He tried to call me on WhatsApp 3 times and I didn’t answer as I was too upset, he said I don’t want to have to talk to anyone to this extent on text its draining, but we have to because we don’t get on and its boring ive had enough, I’m beginning to hate us, I said what did you want to say on the phone, he said its easier than on here. He rang again but I missed it and he blocked me. I text him loads I turned up at his sisters where hes living and he wouldn’t come out or even acknowledge me, just plain ignored me. I said to his sister he doesn’t care does he and she said I don’t think he does sorry to say. How can he just act so cold and block me off everything like I meant nothing to him, why was he trying to ring me and then just blocked me?

 

I feel so low and like he never cared about me. I sent him an email last night saying your not the person I thought you were how can you dump someone you supposedly love by text and ignore them, but that I loved him and wished the best for him and one day hell realise I’m not as bad as he says I am, he just forgot all the good things about me. but nothing.

 

(I listen to all his problems I give him advice I lend him money when he cant afford to eat and he just forgets all that. He said before he will never find a girl like me, and now he just seems like he doesn’t care at all. At Christmas he got me a massive card and wrote how he hopes we have many Christmases together and the great thing that life had given him this year (me) and how much he loved me - and now he suddenly hates me it makes no sense.

Edited January 11, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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[spaceraider234]

2 days ago my now ex boyfriend of 7 months (30 y.o and i'm 24 ) finished it over text during a heated argument (we’d argued in the morning as I caught him out lying about something and he kept denying it) I was at work and we were texting back and forth – he was angry he said some nasty things like I’m selfish and inconsiderate and a rude bitch, he doesn’t like me as a person anymore and he has no interest in us anymore, and his feelings were gone. Even though not even 4 days ago we saw eachother after a week of not speaking or seeing ( we had some space as we hadn’t been getting on) and when he saw me he had the biggest grin on his face and held me for ages – told me how much he missed me and had his best friend back. He looked thin and hadn’t shaved looked like it took its toll on him. Anyways he immediately changed his status to single and blocked me on facebook. he ended up saying I’m beginning to hate us, tried to ring me 3 times on whatsapp I didn’t answer and I said what do you want to say on the phone and he said easier than on here, he tried to ring again and I missed it and he blocked me on that too. Being upset I text him loads and turned up at his house, he ignored me completely and didn’t come out. I came home and composed an e-mail that basically said, don’t worry this is the last you will hear from me, and how I had come to the sad realisation that hes not the person I thought he was, dumping me by text after 7 months and not even having the decency to tell me to my face, I thought you cared about me. Ii then said your the love of my life and I wish you all the best goodbye. I kept my word that night and didn’t speak to him all day yesterday – then I had a reply from him very late last night saying ‘’we could have a talk tomorrow if you like’’ does he just feel bad and feels he should tell me its over to my face? I already acknowledged that he ended it and I knew we were over in the email I sent, What does he mean and should I reply?