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How do you move on when you share children?


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It is not wise to let your child go off with another man who has no rights to your child. Do you have a legal agreement for when he can see your child? What if he decides not to return him to you? As per your other thread, have you had a DNA test done yet to determine if your ex-bf is the bio-father? You stated your ex-fiance wants to adopt your son, why stop that? If you are going to allow this arrangement, which does not seem healthy, at least do it legally.

 

It does not seem that you have taken every step possibly to reconcile your relationship with your ex-fiance.

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Maybe you can do more to encourage a better relationship with your child's real father?

 

The child's real father revenge-porned her to her fiance to sabotage the relationship.

 

She should do no more than the legal minimum required.

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More and more I believe that the best thing for you and your son would be to cease contact. I know that probably seems unthinkable, but there is too much pain and damage all around.

 

I think you would ALL heal faster if you went NC.

 

I know it's extreme, but that is my read.

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Did someone say rose-colored?

 

Quote:

 

As Mary is referred to as having “seven demons” her condition must have been worse than the rest. But the moment Jesus' compassionate eyes saw the wild-eyed and cringing woman of Magdala, He saw in her the ministering angel who would be a blessing to His own heart and to others. In His authoritative voice He commanded the tormenting demons to come out—and stay out—of her. “Back! back! to your native hell, ye foul spirits of the pit,” and the miracle happened. Her deranged and nerve-racked mind became as tranquil as the troubled lake Jesus calmed. Sanity returned, the rosy tint was restored to her cheeks, and she was made whole

 

https://www.biblegateway.com/resources/all-women-bible/Mary-Magdalene

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Coming from my GF: time.

 

My GF is 29 and has an 8 year old child. She was with the father for 5 years and they split up 7 years ago. They are still friends, he is actually my best friend (I was friends with him long before they met). I have known her for 10 years and watched them go through the process of splitting up. It was rough in the beginning, it's been too long so I don't recall how long but months to a year. My GF dropped their child off to her ex's mother, who then gave the child to her son. It worked for them because they didn't have to see each other when things were too rough. There were times when I'd be with her ex and we'd go to get the child together but I'd be the one to get out of the car.

 

Do you have ANYONE who can handle the exchange of custody? I understand that you don't have family. Does he have family nearby who could do it? Only if you trust them of course. A mutual friend? If the child is old enough and you are in a safe area (I don't recall an age) you can get him/her ready then send him/her out the front door alone. If your ex is in the driveway or on the street you won't have to see him.

 

You can also consider long periods between exchanges of custody. For older children, a week on, week off sometimes works better. I've seen two weeks on, two weeks off as well. If the child is school age you could have the exchange of custody coordinate with school hours. ie) You drop him off at school Monday morning. Your ex picks him up Monday after school, keeps him overnight and drops him back off at school Tuesday morning. Then you pick him up from school.

 

My GF and her ex get along well. They can see each other and not have any problems. Her ex is remarried with other children. Lately their custody has been similar to above. She drops the child off at school Friday morning, her ex picks the child up after school and keeps the child for the weekend, then drops off at school Monday morning.

 

You also need to let go of any hope of getting back together. As long as you are holding on you will never be able to move on.

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As it looks like the OP hasn't been around in awhile we'll shut this one down and give her a chance to catch up.

 

Gibrale, you can request your thread reopened for update via the "Alert Us" button on this post. ~T

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