CantEversay Posted January 8, 2017 Posted January 8, 2017 I loved this girl so much for over 5 years and she decided I wasn't good enough at a crucial moment. How the hell do I just leave all of it behind? I'm just supposed to stop caring about her? It's been over 2 weeks since she cut me off and from the looks of it, she doesn't care at all. I keep checking if she's going to message or add me back out of pure desperation and hope. It's always the same, nothing. I always put her before myself. How can she just throw that away? Is she really going to find a guy that loves her more than I did? It's literally impossible for her to forget about me under the circumstances we had and made over the years, it's just so obvious how much I cared about her. I don't understand, it's like I'm supposed to be a narcissist and only care about myself in order to be happy. I thought I knew who she was. I want to care for that person, I don't want to find someone new. It just all seems so fake to me now. 1
Nadine123 Posted January 8, 2017 Posted January 8, 2017 Can you share more details as in why you guys broke up etc? 1
Author CantEversay Posted January 8, 2017 Author Posted January 8, 2017 I probably shouldn't have made this thread because it's a weird situation (which is why I haven't talked to anyone or posted about it in 2 weeks since it's happened). I'm afraid of saying too much for privacy reasons but I didn't do anything wrong to her. The best thing I can say is she left us behind to maybe look for something better. I just think she made a mistake. This world is brutal enough as it is. Is she really going to find a prince charming out there? From the looks of it she's already trying to move on. Should I be around if she tries to come back? That's the thing that's killing me. and the more I think of it, the love I have for her blinds me from how careless and inconsiderate she was. She really put me in a horrible situation. Part of me is understanding and the other part of me is really hurt and upset. 1
Alamo657 Posted January 8, 2017 Posted January 8, 2017 I loved this girl so much for over 5 years and she decided I wasn't good enough at a crucial moment. How the hell do I just leave all of it behind? I'm just supposed to stop caring about her? It's been over 2 weeks since she cut me off and from the looks of it, she doesn't care at all. I keep checking if she's going to message or add me back out of pure desperation and hope. It's always the same, nothing. I always put her before myself. How can she just throw that away? Is she really going to find a guy that loves her more than I did? It's literally impossible for her to forget about me under the circumstances we had and made over the years, it's just so obvious how much I cared about her. I don't understand, it's like I'm supposed to be a narcissist and only care about myself in order to be happy. I thought I knew who she was. I want to care for that person, I don't want to find someone new. It just all seems so fake to me now. Don't beat yourself up over this, modern western women are unreliable because of the constant stream of men like you worshipping them all day long, wanting to get into their pants, and keep them forever. Block her on social media, delete her phone number, this way you'll stop "waiting" for something. Even if that something came, she wouldnt want you back. Stop worshipping women, they are not worth it. Appreciate their company, be a good lover, but don't be a white knight, they don't care about it. 3
salparadise Posted January 8, 2017 Posted January 8, 2017 You'll get better responses if you share the circumstances. Otherwise all we can do is generalize. Once a woman's interest has dropped and she has checked out, there's nothing you can do. It's called GIGs. Grass is greener syndrome. Women are genetic optimizers... her DNA is telling her to find a dominant silverback and do the deed for the good of the species. The recommended response to GIGS is The 180. It's probably not going to bring her back, but it will help you move on and preserve your dignity. 1
Author CantEversay Posted January 8, 2017 Author Posted January 8, 2017 Don't beat yourself up over this, modern western women are unreliable because of the constant stream of men like you worshipping them all day long, wanting to get into their pants, and keep them forever. Block her on social media, delete her phone number, this way you'll stop "waiting" for something. Even if that something came, she wouldnt want you back. Stop worshipping women, they are not worth it. Appreciate their company, be a good lover, but don't be a white knight, they don't care about it. Thanks for the response. I always realized the way I treated her was nothing special or original. It was cliche of me to love her that much because I would see similar traits from other guys. Now whenever I'm out in public I just see these good looking women and I just feel anger more than anything. They're just ****ing sheep to me now. Is it bad if I want her to regret leaving me? because the only thing I have left is becoming the best I can be now that I have nothing to put my time into. To be honest when I was with her, I didn't see any use for friends. As embarrassing as it is, I pretty much abandoned anyone close to me for her. I feel like such a ****ing traitor to my brother. I ditched my friends trip and looked like a huge ******* just for her. Holy **** the more I think of how loyal I was to her just makes me sick how she can treat me as if I'm worthless. Is it bad If I turn the pain into anger? 1
Author CantEversay Posted January 8, 2017 Author Posted January 8, 2017 You'll get better responses if you share the circumstances. Otherwise all we can do is generalize. Once a woman's interest has dropped and she has checked out, there's nothing you can do. It's called GIGs. Grass is greener syndrome. Women are genetic optimizers... her DNA is telling her to find a dominant silverback and do the deed for the good of the species. The recommended response to GIGS is The 180. It's probably not going to bring her back, but it will help you move on and preserve your dignity. Thanks. I meant to multiquote but my response is above. 1
Tyler_Tyrell Posted January 8, 2017 Posted January 8, 2017 To be honest when I was with her, I didn't see any use for friends. As embarrassing as it is, I pretty much abandoned anyone close to me for her. I feel like such a ****ing traitor to my brother. I ditched my friends trip and looked like a huge ******* just for her. Holy **** the more I think of how loyal I was to her just makes me sick how she can treat me as if I'm worthless. Is it bad If I turn the pain into anger? Abandoning friends is about the worst thing you can ever do! Assuming they're good friends, of course. Perhaps I'm a bit too disillusioned, but I never put too much faith in romantic relationships: they can be fragile as hell and, even when you think everything is all right, the imponderable can happen. And when the **** hits the fan, finding yourself completely alone is horrible. So, first thing, can you get in touch again with those friends you lost along the way? Having some friends to be with during your hardest times can make things easier. As for turning pain into anger... I suppose anger can be a good fuel to prompt changes in your life, at least initially. After a while, anger should make space to more constructive thoughts about yourself and your life. As of your ex girlfriend, my advice is the same as the others who have aleady answered: go into No Contact. Block her everywhere, don't reach out to her anymore. Do it primarily for yourself, to take time to re-evaluate your life and get used to her not being around anymore. Sometimes, just sometimes, No Contact may reawaken the other person's interest once she starts missing you, but don't count on it and don't let this be the driving force of your No Contact measures. 1
Pumpingiron34 Posted January 8, 2017 Posted January 8, 2017 honestly man the same exact thing happen to me 5 years. Here i am 8 months later in no contact and i have 19 missed calls as of last night from her. She has also had a boyfriend for the last 6 months hooked up with countless dudes after she abandoned me stone cold. I loved that girl to the point of no return considering it was my first relationship and she dropped me like a salt grain. The pain still burns some days beyond belief but, im strong enough to not answer her phone calls. Nothing good will come from speaking to them ever. TRUST ME DO NOT SPEAK TO HER here my warning. Your mind is going to deceive you and tell you im some dude on the internet who is lieing to you. Na man na not at all. We got abandoned and id rather burn alive from pain then be some ones door mat. please these dam bitches will toy with your brain until you wanna hang from the ceiling fan. Ive met countless other extremely cool girls who i potentially seen myself capable of being with even though i dident. i still miss her but, no one who leaves you is worth a piece of you at all. NC 1
Pumpingiron34 Posted January 9, 2017 Posted January 9, 2017 I relate to your story so much i have to reply again lol. The same thing even her personality changed on me. Was like i never knew her. As if the 5 years evaporated. Chalk it up to these particular girls are crazy and will do the same exact thing to the next guy. we will make it together 1
Author CantEversay Posted January 9, 2017 Author Posted January 9, 2017 Abandoning friends is about the worst thing you can ever do! Assuming they're good friends, of course. Perhaps I'm a bit too disillusioned, but I never put too much faith in romantic relationships: they can be fragile as hell and, even when you think everything is all right, the imponderable can happen. And when the **** hits the fan, finding yourself completely alone is horrible. So, first thing, can you get in touch again with those friends you lost along the way? Having some friends to be with during your hardest times can make things easier. As for turning pain into anger... I suppose anger can be a good fuel to prompt changes in your life, at least initially. After a while, anger should make space to more constructive thoughts about yourself and your life. As of your ex girlfriend, my advice is the same as the others who have aleady answered: go into No Contact. Block her everywhere, don't reach out to her anymore. Do it primarily for yourself, to take time to re-evaluate your life and get used to her not being around anymore. Sometimes, just sometimes, No Contact may reawaken the other person's interest once she starts missing you, but don't count on it and don't let this be the driving force of your No Contact measures. Thanks Tyler. I'll continue no contact. I can't believe I have to live with the thought that she may never consider coming back. I agree that romantic relationships are bull****, you're right. I know deep down I was nothing special and I fell into the illusion of love but I was still willing to be loyal to her if she was to me. In my mind I'm supposed to love her no matter what. If she ever were to contact me again, I don't know how I could deal with it. I feel like I'm supposed to be the better person. 1
Author CantEversay Posted January 9, 2017 Author Posted January 9, 2017 I relate to your story so much i have to reply again lol. The same thing even her personality changed on me. Was like i never knew her. As if the 5 years evaporated. Chalk it up to these particular girls are crazy and will do the same exact thing to the next guy. we will make it together Thanks man, I appreciate it. Sorry to hear that happened. Thats really strong of you to resist answering her. ****, I have to really think this through. This girl didn't even give a **** to check up on me. She even knows I don't have many people to talk with. The thing that pisses me off is that she thinks she can find someone better after years of her telling me how lucky she is to have me. She has said some pretty deep things about me and then she goes throws it away like that. It pisses me off that she's probably hooking up with other guys right now and that ****ing makes me want to use my anger as fuel to become twice as hard as any guy she could ever get with. I know that sounds egotistical as hell but I really loved her. 1
Satu Posted January 9, 2017 Posted January 9, 2017 snip To be honest when I was with her, I didn't see any use for friends. As embarrassing as it is, I pretty much abandoned anyone close to me for her. That is/was a totally unhealthy thing to do. No one person is here just for you. None of us are here for just one person. Take care. 1
Pumpingiron34 Posted January 9, 2017 Posted January 9, 2017 Thanks man, I appreciate it. Sorry to hear that happened. Thats really strong of you to resist answering her. ****, I have to really think this through. This girl didn't even give a **** to check up on me. She even knows I don't have many people to talk with. The thing that pisses me off is that she thinks she can find someone better after years of her telling me how lucky she is to have me. She has said some pretty deep things about me and then she goes throws it away like that. It pisses me off that she's probably hooking up with other guys right now and that ****ing makes me want to use my anger as fuel to become twice as hard as any guy she could ever get with. I know that sounds egotistical as hell but I really loved her. Trust me the fact that she nearly sounds exactly like mine means shes hooking up with them by the dozen and will prolly be in another mess of a relationship soon. Dont go searching for who shes hooking up with either because that will burn even more trust me god. Feel the pain burn with it. Drop to your knees and beg god for mercy if thats what you gotta do anything but contacting her. throw your phone in the lagoon if you think about contacting her. If you think the pain cant get worse it absolutely can if you speak to her. She is now just a drug and you gotta do what ever to break that addiction. 1
Author CantEversay Posted January 9, 2017 Author Posted January 9, 2017 Trust me the fact that she nearly sounds exactly like mine means shes hooking up with them by the dozen and will prolly be in another mess of a relationship soon. Dont go searching for who shes hooking up with either because that will burn even more trust me god. Feel the pain burn with it. Drop to your knees and beg god for mercy if thats what you gotta do anything but contacting her. throw your phone in the lagoon if you think about contacting her. If you think the pain cant get worse it absolutely can if you speak to her. She is now just a drug and you gotta do what ever to break that addiction. Thanks a lot bro, I'll remember this and come back if I need to. TY.
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