Author StarGirl17 Posted January 6, 2017 Author Share Posted January 6, 2017 doesn't mean she likes you. 3rd time asking: have you changed your netflix password yet? His mum said I was the best thing to happen to him and yes I did. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author StarGirl17 Posted January 6, 2017 Author Share Posted January 6, 2017 I'll just call a spade a spade, this is a classic ghosting story I've been there, lots of us on here have...it doesnt feel good but ghosting/fading is so common these days in the dating world I think you need to reign yourself in at the moment, I know you feel like you just spent a lifetime with this guy but you only knew him for a month. Tbh, you didnt even really know who he was. I had a whirlwind romance back in Feburary, it moved so fast, we were with each other night and day...then he just pulled the plug...I was in shock but I did what everyone needs to do in these situations which is, hold your own, do not accept breadcrumbs or pleads to take him back (if it gets to that), have respect for yourself and your standards/boundaries (do you really want a bf that just drops off the face of the earth while enjoying your netflix???), take your power back by drawing a line in the sand accepting its over and go NC I'm sorry girl, I know this is tough but this is probably it. Follow the advice I gave above and pullleeezee change your netflix password! Also, next time move much more slowly, as others have said...guys that burn this hot and this fast, burn out just as quickly Surely you don't just ghost your girlfriend? And he would change the status at the very least. It can't stay like that forever lol Link to post Share on other sites
Whodatdog Posted January 6, 2017 Share Posted January 6, 2017 We met each other's families, spent xmas with each other, it was going fantastic! Going fantastic for you, maybe not so much for him. I agree, way too fast too soon. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author StarGirl17 Posted January 6, 2017 Author Share Posted January 6, 2017 Going fantastic for you, maybe not so much for him. I agree, way too fast too soon. Well he was the one maintaining how happy he was. I kept saying I was gonna head home but he kept telling me he wanted me to stay so he had no problem. Link to post Share on other sites
Dis Posted January 6, 2017 Share Posted January 6, 2017 Surely you don't just ghost your girlfriend? And he would change the status at the very least. It can't stay like that forever lol Gfs of months and months have been ghosted, never mind you, a gf of 4 weeks..so yes, gfs and bfs get ghosted all time. Theres tons of threads on here posted by poeple just like you who couldnt believe it either Guys couldnt care less about a fb relationship status. Thats probably the last thing in his mind. I think I need to remind you that just because its says you're in a relationship on fb doesnt mean you are...its fb...it doesnt mean anything. He'll probably update the status when he gets around to it I know you're still in the denial stages (which is fine) but the sooner you come to accept this for what it is, the better off you'll be 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author StarGirl17 Posted January 6, 2017 Author Share Posted January 6, 2017 Gfs of months and months have been ghosted, never mind you, a gf of 4 weeks..so yes, gfs and bfs get ghosted all time. Theres tons of threads on here posted by poeple just like you who couldnt believe it either Guys couldnt care less about a fb relationship status. Thats probably the last thing in his mind. I think I need to remind you that just because its says you're in a relationship on fb doesnt mean you are...its fb...it doesnt mean anything. He'll probably update the status when he gets around to it I know you're still in the denial stages (which is fine) but the sooner you come to accept this for what it is, the better off you'll be He was pretty adamant we update our status as in a relationship from the very start. I plan to ask him on Sunday can I collect my stuff from his house if I haven't heard from by then. That should get the point across. Link to post Share on other sites
Author StarGirl17 Posted January 6, 2017 Author Share Posted January 6, 2017 I think unless he were in the hospital in a coma, if he wanted to he'd have contacted you back by now. I am sorry. A month isn't a very long time. Maybe he is just finding out he doesn't feel you're a match. If he does contact you he may have a good story, but honestly, if you've been talking to his mother, surely she'd have mentioned anything extraordinarily dire coming up in his life. I think he's just not very interested. Personally, I'd not be exclusive (at the very least) and I would be keeping my eyes out for new possibilities. That's just me. He was so so into me right up to Tuesday and then he went AWOL! I don't understand it. Link to post Share on other sites
falxmanolo Posted January 7, 2017 Share Posted January 7, 2017 I met a guy at the start of December and we were talking every night on the phone and we then met up for a date the next weekend. He ended up staying at mine for a few days and even met my mum and brother in that time. He then came down the day before Christmas eve to visit. After this his mum invited me for Boxing Day dinner with the family which was lovely and we all got on great. From Boxing Day until Monday past, we were with each other everyday and things were great. We are officially in a relationship (on Facebook too), have said I love you (he said it first), met each other’s families, have them on Facebook and I’m so happy and he said he is too. He started acting distant on Monday before I left. He was meant to be coming down to mine for a few days but then he said he had work so he couldn’t. He’s also had an extremely sore back and ear for the last week too so I can understand his mood not being great. He text me on Tuesday afternoon to say he has been drifting in and out of sleep because of the painkillers and he hopes I’m well and he loves me. That’s the last I’ve heard from him. He hasn’t been as active on Facebook as much either. I’ve sent two whatsapp messages and a snapchat and neither have even been read. I had to change my number and I text him to tell him and then I text him to ask how he was. I also tried to ring him last night because he was using my Netflix and I couldn’t watch anything while he was. I don’t know why he’s being like this and I know I’m probably overthinking but I just wanted someone else’s opinion. I’m just scared of history repeating itself because my ex started doing this to the point we broke up. I know we’ve moved so fast but it felt right. We both agreed on that. I just feel so silly being worried already. I was chatting to his mum on Facebook last night and thanked her having me down over New Years. She said no problem and told me she asked my BF was he coming down this weekend and he just said not sure. I tried to ring him a couple of times last night and no answer. I'm still on his Facebook in a relationship but still no word from him. Heyya! If i were you, I would take the advice people have offered already. Never mind how quickly things have moved etc, just for now, to protect your sanity, do NOT touch base with him. Just don't feed anymore communication. I don't believe you need to act a certain way to keep a man interested, if a man is interested then you just know it. He will rise from his grave to text you if he wanted to. And if he hasn't, cut your losses, have a drink with your girls and let it be. Link to post Share on other sites
heavenonearth Posted January 7, 2017 Share Posted January 7, 2017 After my ex broke up with me, he left his relationship status 'In a Relationship' up for at least 2 weeks, the he changed it to single. Yup.... Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted January 7, 2017 Share Posted January 7, 2017 His mum said I was the best thing to happen to him and yes I did. How would she know? My mom was positive I should marry the nerd who followed me around everywhere and wound up bisexual and sleeping with the art teacher. Honestly, she met you two times and decided this? Do you trust your mom's choices for you over your own? You're reaching and I get that, we have all done it, but even if his mom thought you were the Queen it wouldn't matter; what matters is how he feels. And by HIS actions (inactions) he is not very into it. I feel for you and am so sorry but...let this one go. Maintain your dignity. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Dis Posted January 7, 2017 Share Posted January 7, 2017 He was pretty adamant we update our status as in a relationship from the very start. I plan to ask him on Sunday can I collect my stuff from his house if I haven't heard from by then. That should get the point across. Againnnn, fb relationship status' mean nothing! He was probably just caught up in his feelings for you so he felt the need to romantize the relationship and put it on fb. Its never a good sign when a guy does things like that so early on....bcuz what happens next? Poof he's gone! The only reason why you're thinking of texting him to get your things back is because your still holding onto the hope that he'll snap out of this and all will be right with the world again. You're setting yourself up for failure Dont text him to get your things back until you've come to accept its over. Better yet, dont get your things back at all if you dont really NEED whatever it is you have over there Best to just move on 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author StarGirl17 Posted January 7, 2017 Author Share Posted January 7, 2017 Againnnn, fb relationship status' mean nothing! He was probably just caught up in his feelings for you so he felt the need to romantize the relationship and put it on fb. Its never a good sign when a guy does things like that so early on....bcuz what happens next? Poof he's gone! The only reason why you're thinking of texting him to get your things back is because your still holding onto the hope that he'll snap out of this and all will be right with the world again. You're setting yourself up for failure Dont text him to get your things back until you've come to accept its over. Better yet, dont get your things back at all if you dont really NEED whatever it is you have over there Best to just move on I do want my stuff and yes I wouldn't mind seeing him but that is irrelevant to be honest. I will be getting my things back as they were expensive. His mum is still pretty active on my Facebook, liking things etc. I've had boyfriends go longer without texting so I shouldn't be worried. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted January 7, 2017 Share Posted January 7, 2017 His mum said I was the best thing to happen to him. I had to laugh out loud when I read that. All of them are living in lala-land. What ever he has it's genetic and he got it from his mother. I am a mother of an adult daughter and a man better prove himself over a year before I give him the title 'best thing that happened to her'. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
olivetree Posted January 7, 2017 Share Posted January 7, 2017 Agree with Disillutionment's post above. Getting your things back is usually just a move the dumpee makes in order to see the dumper/ghoster again and the dumper/ghoster sees right through it and gets even more turned off. Exchanging things is just awkward and it will not change his mind. The only thing that MAY make him want to see you again is time and space and him coming around by his own accord. However, I do think that you should consider this over. His lack of respect in even letting you know that he needs space/that it's over does not deserve a second chance, in my opinion. People who ghost lack character. I'm sorry this happened to you. It's a good learning experience... you'll never go that fast again! 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Whodatdog Posted January 7, 2017 Share Posted January 7, 2017 Well he was the one maintaining how happy he was. I kept saying I was gonna head home but he kept telling me he wanted me to stay so he had no problem. So how's that working for you now? Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted January 7, 2017 Share Posted January 7, 2017 He will text you only if you don't contact him in any way. Go off the grid and he'll come looking for you. Don't go to get your stuff on Sunday.Wait. He'll text. It could be days, weeks or even months. Sit on your hands and do not contact him!! I had a guy I dated for 2 months and who simply stopped calling/texting me with no "closure", call me after 1 year and ask to go out together again. He said he was sorry for not getting in touch, he was busy They always come back. That is, if you don't go after them yourself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author StarGirl17 Posted January 7, 2017 Author Share Posted January 7, 2017 He will text you only if you don't contact him in any way. Go off the grid and he'll come looking for you. Don't go to get your stuff on Sunday.Wait. He'll text. It could be days, weeks or even months. Sit on your hands and do not contact him!! I had a guy I dated for 2 months and who simply stopped calling/texting me with no "closure", call me after 1 year and ask to go out together again. He said he was sorry for not getting in touch, he was busy They always come back. That is, if you don't go after them yourself. Excellent advice! Thankyou! I have decided to put it on the back burner for now. I am going out with my girls this weekend for a drink and catch up which I am really looking forward to. I also got a job offer today too which I'm super excited about. I know if I keep texting and calling him, he's going to run even further! Going off grid and not contacting him is my best option. It's worked before with men. Think the longest was 3 weeks before lol! Link to post Share on other sites
Author StarGirl17 Posted January 7, 2017 Author Share Posted January 7, 2017 Agree with Disillutionment's post above. Getting your things back is usually just a move the dumpee makes in order to see the dumper/ghoster again and the dumper/ghoster sees right through it and gets even more turned off. Exchanging things is just awkward and it will not change his mind. The only thing that MAY make him want to see you again is time and space and him coming around by his own accord. However, I do think that you should consider this over. His lack of respect in even letting you know that he needs space/that it's over does not deserve a second chance, in my opinion. People who ghost lack character. I'm sorry this happened to you. It's a good learning experience... you'll never go that fast again! I do agree that it is very disrespectful and I am not one bit happy. I'm actually changing my mind about collecting my things. Will probably leave it for a while and see how it pans out. I'm going to go out and enjoy myself this weekend and come what may. Link to post Share on other sites
Terry8889 Posted January 7, 2017 Share Posted January 7, 2017 Girl it doesn't matter how many times he said he loved you, what his mom said or how happy he said he was, what matters now is that he is ghosting you bc he is having second thoughts about your relationship. As others said you guys went too fast and you should not have allowed it. My ex ghosted me after almost four years of relationship, after he said how he loved me how we were gonna marry and have children together, etc. He simply disappeared with no explanation. If someone can do that after so long, don't be surprised he did it only after 4 weeks. Be glad he didn't waste more of your time, let him go or give him space if there is a relationship to save. I know for sure he will come back to you at some point but it will take weeks, months or even years but for that to happen you have to back off. Just move on and don't expect anything from him at this point. The first few months of all relationships we usually show our best side and behavior to the other person, if he is acting this way so early that is a huge red flag. Don't waste your time thinking just move on! Good luck! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
winny Posted January 7, 2017 Share Posted January 7, 2017 (edited) Like others said, fall off the grid. Don't initiate any contact. Don't speak to his family. And yeah whenever he texts you next... don't respond in 2 secs. If any stupid ideas come to your mind then first come and ask here.... You have to be like super cool, super patient and remind yourself how much you love yourself and don't be angry with him or anything. People are the way they are... nothing we can do about it. Focus on yourself. Whatever you do - DONT ask this ever!!!! "Why you doing this??" Edited January 7, 2017 by winny 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author StarGirl17 Posted January 7, 2017 Author Share Posted January 7, 2017 Like others said, fall off the grid. Don't initiate any contact. Don't speak to his family. And yeah whenever he texts you next... don't respond in 2 secs. If any stupid ideas come to your mind then first come and ask here.... You have to be like super cool, super patient and remind yourself how much you love yourself and don't be angry with him or anything. People are the way they are... nothing we can do about it. Focus on yourself. Whatever you do - DONT ask this ever!!!! "Why you doing this??" I haven't tried to contact him since Thursday and it's really hard because I just want some sort of answers. I don't know how anyone can go from constant contact to absolutely nothing. My best friend said that because we were together for so long that maybe he just wants his own space for a while. I'm hoping so anyways. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted January 7, 2017 Share Posted January 7, 2017 I haven't tried to contact him since Thursday and it's really hard because I just want some sort of answers. I don't know how anyone can go from constant contact to absolutely nothing. My best friend said that because we were together for so long that maybe he just wants his own space for a while. I'm hoping so anyways. That is a very strong possibility for sure....sometimes when men get too caught up emotionally, they will pull back. I don't know this guy's history but he might be feeling insecure about everything too. And the others say don't assume, when we are all guilty of it lol....pot calling the kettle black as they say. I hope you receive some kind of communication soon. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
winny Posted January 8, 2017 Share Posted January 8, 2017 I haven't tried to contact him since Thursday and it's really hard because I just want some sort of answers. I don't know how anyone can go from constant contact to absolutely nothing. My best friend said that because we were together for so long that maybe he just wants his own space for a while. I'm hoping so anyways. It'll be fine... Link to post Share on other sites
LoveFiend Posted January 8, 2017 Share Posted January 8, 2017 The relationship has not lasted long yet and is therefore still in a probation period your going through to see if things will work out. He very well could be having second thoughts or could have other women, there is that possibility. You haven't known him a long time so you really haven't gotten a chance to really know him. I don't think your being paranoid at all, I find his behavior suspicious too and this is from a guy's point of view. I don't blame you for feeling the way you feel, I am seeing warning signs that you have every right to be concerned about. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted January 8, 2017 Share Posted January 8, 2017 His mum said I was the best thing to happen to him and yes I did. She can say whatever, but that's not going to make him pick up the phone and act like you mean something to him. Leave his mom out of it--he's grown now and doesn't need her permission or approval for whom he decides to get with in a relationship. If he's not telling you that you're the best thing to happen to him, then what she says, really, is meaningless. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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