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Whose turn is it? [UPDATE: Pain doesn't make sense?]


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I never experienced such a roller coaster of emotions and feelings in my life. It even started to effect my sleep. So, after constantly battling with my sleep for two weeks I decided I had to genuine and honest both with her and myself. So, last Thursday I wrote a sms along these lines:

 

" Hi .., hope you are well! I want to tell you something because I need to get it out of me and I don't expect any answer back. I really like you! And I think about it a lot. I wish I could have said it personally. Good luck with your ...trip. Hope it works out well. You deserve it. Take good care of yourself. Bye!"

 

Don't know if this is the best message, but after sending it I found peace within myself and sleepless nights are not troubling me anymore. I haven't heard from her since then and I don't know whether I will. Do you guys think she will reply? Any thoughts on this situation will be appreciated.

Thanks. Cheers....

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The more you try to get her to go out with you (and this was yet another attempt to keep the lines of communication open and moving in that direction), the more you push her away and solidify in her mind that she made the right choice.

 

Please let this go. You're only making things worse for yourself.

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The more you try to get her to go out with you (and this was yet another attempt to keep the lines of communication open and moving in that direction), the more you push her away and solidify in her mind that she made the right choice.

 

Please let this go. You're only making things worse for yourself.

 

 

Hi AE, this was not one more attempt for communication. My sole intention was to express my suppressed emotions/feelings for her and lay down this chapter to rest. I have no intention or desire to contact her again.

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You have developed an obsession over this woman. You need to understand your feelings are irrational. You feel you are losing someone extremely important yet you and her barely spent time together and you know nothing of her. What you are experiencing aren't feelings from your heart, what you are experiencing is a trick from your brain.

 

To get over an obsession you first need to recognize it is what a is. When she pops up in your mind just remind yourself it's a trick of your brain and you will get it under control. This is half the work. It's much less romantic to identify a feeling as a trick of the brain than to identify it as 'can't live without her'.

 

The second step is to delete any mean you have to reach her. This woman made it clear several times she wants nothing to do with you. If you text her one more time she is in her rights to accuse you of harassing her. No means no, and she said no several times.

 

Third, make it a mission to forget about her. Throw yourself in a new hobby, plan a trip somewhere you always wanted to visit, hit the gym like there is no tomorrow, or anything you like.

 

Fourth, give it time. It takes a long time to work over an obsession. It takes on average 3 weeks to get over the 'missing them' feeling, then after that you're on your way to recovery.

 

Why this happens? I have no clue, I just know any regular person can develop an obsession for no apparent reason. It's probably because we met that person in a phase we were more vulnerable and we shed all of our hopes on that one person that happened to cross our path.

 

Good luck and hope you feel better soon.

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Thanks Gaeta. I think your points are pretty accurate. Don't know why and from where I got this overwhelming feelings for her. If I delete her from FB, don't you think it will look a bit salty? Since I texted her on past Thursday and I deleted her FB today.

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Thanks Gaeta. I think your points are pretty accurate. Don't know why and from where I got this overwhelming feelings for her. If I delete her from FB, don't you think it will look a bit salty? Since I texted her on past Thursday and I deleted her FB today.

 

It depends on you. Do you feel uncomfortable going on your FB and seeing her there? Change some of those settings so you don't see her posts. Put yourself invisible for her as well. Maybe in a couple of days or weeks you will be ready to definitely unfriend her.

 

Don't worry about offending her if you unfriend her. I don't think she will mind, I don't even think she will notice. Maybe when you unfriend her she will be relieved to see you stop pursuing her.

 

I don't think she will reply to your message and if she does it will only be a polite answer to which you should never reply to.

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Just go ahead and ask her out again. She might never get up the nerve to do it if any amount of time goes by.

 

Are you serious? I am not sure whether you read the whole thread. I should have respected her wishes from the beginning and not pursue her. Moreover, I believe have to sort out things myself even if she, somehow magically, showed interest in me. Cheers...

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Hi AE, this was not one more attempt for communication. My sole intention was to express my suppressed emotions/feelings for her and lay down this chapter to rest. I have no intention or desire to contact her again.

 

She already knows you like her! That's why she has been clear that she'll see you in a group but has zero interest in one-on-one meetings with you. Guys get upset when women are rude about the way they reject them, but it's behavior like yours that results in this. Some guys refuse to accept no as an answer when the person rebuffs them nicely, and continue to persist anyway.

 

Please leave her alone.

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Thanks Gaeta. I think your points are pretty accurate. Don't know why and from where I got this overwhelming feelings for her. If I delete her from FB, don't you think it will look a bit salty? Since I texted her on past Thursday and I deleted her FB today.

 

If she notices, she'll be relieved that you're finally getting the message that there's nothing between you.

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