Pinhead Larry Posted January 2, 2017 Share Posted January 2, 2017 For this question I'm not talking about the guys that have girlfriends, but rather watch porn than sleep with their gf. I mean the guys who are socially awkward like me and don't have the prerequisites and everything else to attract a girl, let alone getting a girl in bed. What would yout suggest someone to do in that situation where it's either porn or nothing but the porn is crippling at the same time causing ED as porn only gives them a 3/4 erection at best these days. Should they just stop everything and try to go without or just keep going at the path they're going because every year it becomes harder and harder. Link to post Share on other sites
LoveFiend Posted January 2, 2017 Share Posted January 2, 2017 Well I admit I have watched a lot of porn through the years, but it never crippled my dating life or relationships in any way. I would rather have a date, even if it was just dinner & movie or a cup of coffee over porn. I prefer a real person rather than a fictional woman who doesn't exist. I do watch a lot of porn when I am single and not in a relationship, but when I am in a relationship my desire to watch porn tends to drop to zero. During both my marriages I had like zero desire to watch porn. I saw whats the point I am getting sex all the time with a woman I love why do I need porn. I prefer a real woman over a sex tape any day of the week. Since been in a relationship now and my girlfriend and I have been dating my porn need has dropped to almost zero. Only on the days I can't see her and we don't have sex do I find a need. When we move in together and are living together, even if not getting sex all the time since I have a woman an a companion in my life my lonliness will be cured and thus no need for porn. Porn is something I have turned to when I was lonely not just a sexual need, but a need for a woman to cure my lonliness. Every man is different, I have heard some men choosing porn over their spouse and I think that's crazy. The spouse is right there ready to be loved, a real person who loves them and they choose porn over her? Sounds really stupid to me. In that situation I would think porn would actually be a problem. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 2, 2017 Share Posted January 2, 2017 If you were in a relationship, you wouldn't be having sex as often as you do when you watch porn, so stop watching porn so much. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pinhead Larry Posted January 2, 2017 Author Share Posted January 2, 2017 Well I admit I have watched a lot of porn through the years, but it never crippled my dating life or relationships in any way. I would rather have a date, even if it was just dinner & movie or a cup of coffee over porn. I prefer a real person rather than a fictional woman who doesn't exist. I do watch a lot of porn when I am single and not in a relationship, but when I am in a relationship my desire to watch porn tends to drop to zero. During both my marriages I had like zero desire to watch porn. I saw whats the point I am getting sex all the time with a woman I love why do I need porn. I prefer a real woman over a sex tape any day of the week. Since been in a relationship now and my girlfriend and I have been dating my porn need has dropped to almost zero. Only on the days I can't see her and we don't have sex do I find a need. When we move in together and are living together, even if not getting sex all the time since I have a woman an a companion in my life my lonliness will be cured and thus no need for porn. Porn is something I have turned to when I was lonely not just a sexual need, but a need for a woman to cure my lonliness. Every man is different, I have heard some men choosing porn over their spouse and I think that's crazy. The spouse is right there ready to be loved, a real person who loves them and they choose porn over her? Sounds really stupid to me. In that situation I would think porn would actually be a problem. Yeah my problem is just talking to a girl in general and then moving forward. The best I can do normally ends up with me getting friendzoned or family zoned. Link to post Share on other sites
LoveFiend Posted January 2, 2017 Share Posted January 2, 2017 Yeah my problem is just talking to a girl in general and then moving forward. The best I can do normally ends up with me getting friendzoned or family zoned. It takes a lot of patience and practice. I am not sure your age? I am thinking your pretty young. When you get older dating gets a lot easier. From at least my own life experiences I had a lot more success dating when I hit my 30's then when I was in my 20's. I had a lot more success dating in my 20's then high school. Women as they get older seem to care a lot less about looks and more about the guys job, financial security, how reliable the guy will be, how he treats her. My looks are not great 5'4" and not the best looks, but I have been married twice been on lots of dates, and I am about to get married again to my current girlfriend. A relative of mine is like 300+ lbs a lot of women rejected him because of his weight, but he still managed to get a lot of dates and has been happily married now for over 10 years. It is like riding a bike, the more you practice and persist the better you get at it. You just got be patient and know in time and as the years roll on you will get better around women and dating and things will eventually turn around for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Spider Posted January 2, 2017 Share Posted January 2, 2017 I'd say that if they are happier alone and with porn than dating, then that's fine. But they seem to become obsessed/addicted to pornography if their penis isn't functioning correctly. I've seen that "your brain on porn" stuff and that's different from a guy who is single and watches porn. It's addiction. I think the treatment is called no fap or not using porn to masturbate. I'd also say that this individual shouldn't resign themselves to porn or nothing if being with a woman is what they want. They probably have plenty of room to improve themselves. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pinhead Larry Posted January 2, 2017 Author Share Posted January 2, 2017 It takes a lot of patience and practice. I am not sure your age? I am thinking your pretty young. When you get older dating gets a lot easier. From at least my own life experiences I had a lot more success dating when I hit my 30's then when I was in my 20's. I had a lot more success dating in my 20's then high school. Women as they get older seem to care a lot less about looks and more about the guys job, financial security, how reliable the guy will be, how he treats her. My looks are not great 5'4" and not the best looks, but I have been married twice been on lots of dates, and I am about to get married again to my current girlfriend. A relative of mine is like 300+ lbs a lot of women rejected him because of his weight, but he still managed to get a lot of dates and has been happily married now for over 10 years. It is like riding a bike, the more you practice and persist the better you get at it. You just got be patient and know in time and as the years roll on you will get better around women and dating and things will eventually turn around for you. I see. But I'm 20 years old right now and I don't have anything in common with most girls but I really don't have experience. I'm not that attractive and I'm pretty boring. I've been dealing with depression and anxiety for 7 years so there's that as well and girls never talk to me unless it's about class work or something lime that. When I get a career I feel like most girls are just going to like me because of my career and money and I don't want it to be like that so I have trust issues already so I feel like I might as well give up Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pinhead Larry Posted January 2, 2017 Author Share Posted January 2, 2017 I'd say that if they are happier alone and with porn than dating, then that's fine. But they seem to become obsessed/addicted to pornography if their penis isn't functioning correctly. I've seen that "your brain on porn" stuff and that's different from a guy who is single and watches porn. It's addiction. I think the treatment is called no fap or not using porn to masturbate. I'd also say that this individual shouldn't resign themselves to porn or nothing if being with a woman is what they want. They probably have plenty of room to improve themselves. I've tried no fap before and couldn't last more than 2 days Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted January 2, 2017 Share Posted January 2, 2017 I think for some men porn is the easier alternative to finding a real live woman. I think it reduces the "need" and some men get very complacent and cosy with it, so they stop even trying to find a woman. It is hard for some men to put themselves out there and risk rejection and have their heart exposed on the chopping block time and time again. Many men have little experience of successfully interacting with women, and are frankly very bad at it too. So for some they feel it is far better to sit at home and live in a world of fantasy and dreams. Oldshirt's thoughts on porn. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sweetfish Posted January 3, 2017 Share Posted January 3, 2017 I see. But I'm 20 years old right now and I don't have anything in common with most girls but I really don't have experience. I'm not that attractive and I'm pretty boring. I've been dealing with depression and anxiety for 7 years so there's that as well and girls never talk to me unless it's about class work or something lime that. When I get a career I feel like most girls are just going to like me because of my career and money and I don't want it to be like that so I have trust issues already so I feel like I might as well give up make your life unboring 2 Link to post Share on other sites
palmsand Posted January 3, 2017 Share Posted January 3, 2017 I don't think anyone would choose porn over the real thing given the choice. There is always something you can do to up your chances with girls. You learn something new every day and sooner or later you will get there. Porn should be only a fall-back I would say. Link to post Share on other sites
VeveCakes Posted January 5, 2017 Share Posted January 5, 2017 I've tried no fap before and couldn't last more than 2 days this is very telling. Try harder. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted January 5, 2017 Share Posted January 5, 2017 Young guys fap everyday, and it's normal. Anyways if you have anxiety and stuff, you need to be dealing with it, with a therapist. Since you are still suffering, seek out a different therapist, try new therapies, do your own research to find other helpful ways to make your life better. Sitting around waiting for a change to drop in your lap won't work. You need to be proactive in dealing with your own mental health. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 5, 2017 Share Posted January 5, 2017 I see. But I'm 20 years old right now and I don't have anything in common with most girls but I really don't have experience. I'm not that attractive and I'm pretty boring. I've been dealing with depression and anxiety for 7 years so there's that as well and girls never talk to me unless it's about class work or something lime that. When I get a career I feel like most girls are just going to like me because of my career and money and I don't want it to be like that so I have trust issues already so I feel like I might as well give up Do you have mates? Are there girls in your social group? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pinhead Larry Posted January 6, 2017 Author Share Posted January 6, 2017 Do you have mates? Are there girls in your social group? I have a few friends none of them get girls except one and that's because most girls tell me he's like a 9/10 and he's always been good with girls. And I do not have any female friends. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pinhead Larry Posted January 6, 2017 Author Share Posted January 6, 2017 I don't think anyone would choose porn over the real thing given the choice. There is always something you can do to up your chances with girls. You learn something new every day and sooner or later you will get there. Porn should be only a fall-back I would say. Porn for me is a fallback for me but I have to fallback everyday lmao. But being serious it would always choose a girl over porn but that's not my situation. Link to post Share on other sites
joseb Posted January 6, 2017 Share Posted January 6, 2017 I've tried no fap before and couldn't last more than 2 days Forget not fapping, but try giving up the porn for a while to see how you go. Link to post Share on other sites
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