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Why does he care if he broke up with me but hates that I'm moving on? What can I do?

TaraBarz92

By TaraBarz92
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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TaraBarz92 New Member

TaraBarz92

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WHAT CAN I DO

It’s ok if he moves on and is in a relationship but its not ok for me to do it?. We have been broken up for 4 years? going into the fifth. I’m not saying I let him get involved in my life but my question is what can i do for him to stop/protect myself. (I actually don't let him get involved. He finds out this info and I only tell a small amount of people, and then he has his "buddies" figure out who the guy I am seeing is) I don't even see him. I ignore him but somehow he figures it out?.

 

He has been dating a girl for three years they also plan to get married. However when a man tries to enter my life or tries to date me he doesn’t like it and goes and messes it up. (By talking crap about me, by hitting or going up to a guy who shows interest in me)

 

If it also helps he has anger issues like very bad anger issues and in the past has hit my ex boyfriend. The reason why he hit my ex boyfriend was because he found out him and i were seeing each other, He went up to my ex and asked him "What's between you and Tara" my boyfriend at that time replied "I love her" and he punched him for saying that, He also had my cousin spy on us. Also tried another time to beat up my boyfriend at that time by trying to take him somewhere far so he can beat him and my boyfriend got away.

 

I was also talking to his cousin once on facebook and we just had normal "Hey, How are you" conversations and I wake up one day and see that he has blocked me for no reason. I believe that reason was because of my ex. I wasn't hitting on his cousin or anything. He started talking to me.

 

Why is he still questioning me, acting possessive, jealous and even a bit territorial over me, when HE dumped ME? Is it just a control thing?

 

I am also very worried for my life at times because he has very bad anger issues and gets into fights a lot. What can I do to protect myself and get this years-long **** show of creepy and bizarre to end?

 

Advice please? :)

marky00 Established Member

marky00

Posted
Posted

You might want to check out my post here:

 

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/607865-breadcrumbs-continue

 

 

I think both our Exes may be narcissists. It's the only reasonable explanation.

 

 

The question I always have is, if someone spits you out like garbage, what ego boost do they get to still "have you" apparently pining for them or w/e.

 

 

It just doesn't make sense.

 

 

Was your relationship quite ego-based with a lot of push-pull dynamics? Because looking back, although we loved each other, I think there was quite a lot of push-pull going on.

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LargoLagg Established Member

LargoLagg

Posted
Posted

You might explain to him that if you ever hear from him again, you will mess up his life, even if it takes a big lie to do it.

 

Then turn on the record button.

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TaraBarz92 New Member

TaraBarz92

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No no. I mean our relationship was pretty good until he cheated and just basically left without reason. I do notice that he does talk badly about a lot of girls, he even once i believe talked badly about his now current fiancee calling her gold digger. I don't even know what he's problem is. I am just glad I am out of that picture. I do believe he is a narcissist too because he doesn't like when anyone is better than him (in looks, wealth,etc).

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TaraBarz92 New Member

TaraBarz92

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  • Author
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You might want to check out my post here:

 

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/607865-breadcrumbs-continue

 

 

I think both our Exes may be narcissists. It's the only reasonable explanation.

 

 

The question I always have is, if someone spits you out like garbage, what ego boost do they get to still "have you" apparently pining for them or w/e.

 

 

It just doesn't make sense.

 

 

Was your relationship quite ego-based with a lot of push-pull dynamics? Because looking back, although we loved each other, I think there was quite a lot of push-pull going on.

 

No no. I mean our relationship was pretty good until he cheated and just basically left without reason. I do notice that he does talk badly about a lot of girls, he even once i believe talked badly about his now current fiancee calling her gold digger. I don't even know what he's problem is. I am just glad I am out of that picture. I do believe he is a narcissist too because he doesn't like when anyone is better than him (in looks, wealth,etc).

basil67 Established Member

basil67

Posted
Posted

It doesn't matter why he does what he does. All that matters is that you change your life so that he receives no information on you.

 

Remove from your life anyone who may share information about you with him. This includes your cousins, his cousins and mutual friends. Yes, it will be painful - but self preservation takes courage.

 

And make sure any boyfriend who he assaults presses charges.

  • Like 2
stillafool Established Member

stillafool

Posted
Posted

If he is beating up your bfs get a restraining order on him. Why are you questioning his blocking you on social media when in fact you should have been the one to block him. Block him on everything and if necessary change your phone number. This guy sounds like a complete psycho.

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TaraBarz92 New Member

TaraBarz92

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If he is beating up your bfs get a restraining order on him. Why are you questioning his blocking you on social media when in fact you should have been the one to block him. Block him on everything and if necessary change your phone number. This guy sounds like a complete psycho.

 

I have blocked him on everything. He never blocked me. I have changed my number and everything. Thank you :).

marky00 Established Member

marky00

Posted
Posted

I just don't get how you can't get him out of your life after so long.

 

 

I am great at disappearing. It's actually very easy.

 

 

Firstly, try not updating any of your social media. Trust me, social media isn't that important, just become a ghost on the net, so much so that no1 could ever see what your up to.

 

 

Secondly, if your cousins speak to him (which is very strange to be honest), then when you talk to them, you just say your doing well and say nothing more. It's such an easy thing to do.

 

 

From now on, you need to pretend your a ghost and simply drop off the side of planet earth (with the exception of your immediate family).

 

 

In a couple of years, you can probably bring back some of these things back into your life and the great thing is, the people who are your real friends will re-connect with you.

  • Like 1
fooloflove Member

fooloflove

Posted
Posted

I see this as selfishness, sometimes u just gonna be cold enough to let go and just move on i know it's hard, it happens when you have a soft spot for someone u used to love, so tell yourself it is what it is now, u got to release yourself and stop caring about what he do to manipulate u in order to be free and continue ur life. Good luck.

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