Husband doesn't want sex, I get angry and make things worse

[stillafool]

I suspect Mr Lucky may be right, your husband is bi-sexual and actual leans towards homosexual. You need to discover what type of porn he watches.

 

The part about him getting an erection when Jim was involved but having difficultly when it was only you and Jen is telling.

 

TBH, I was thinking the same thing but didn't say. The only other thing is that maybe he would have maintained the erection if it were just him and Jen. It would be hard to relax with Jen the way he wanted to with his wife right there.

[elaine567]

Viagra

 

Generic Name: sildenafil citrate

 

Warnings and Precautions

 

Cardiovascular

 

There is a potential for cardiac risk of sexual activity in patients with preexisting cardiovascular disease. Therefore, treatments for erectile dysfunction, including Viagra, should not be generally used in men for whom sexual activity is inadvisable because of their underlying cardiovascular status. The evaluation of erectile dysfunction should include a determination of potential underlying causes and the identification of appropriate treatment following a complete medical assessment.

Viagra has systemic vasodilatory properties that resulted in transient decreases in supine blood pressure in healthy volunteers (mean maximum decrease of 8.4/5.5 mmHg), [see Clinical Pharmacology (12.2)]. While this normally would be expected to be of little consequence in most patients, prior to prescribing Viagra, physicians should carefully consider whether their patients with underlying cardiovascular disease could be affected adversely by such vasodilatory effects, especially in combination with sexual activity.

Use with caution in patients with the following underlying conditions which can be particularly sensitive to the actions of vasodilators including Viagra – those with left ventricular outflow obstruction (e.g., aortic stenosis, idiopathic hypertrophic subaortic stenosis) and those with severely impaired autonomic control of blood pressure.

There are no controlled clinical data on the safety or efficacy of Viagra in the following groups; if prescribed, this should be done with caution.

 

• Patients who have suffered a myocardial infarction, stroke, or life-threatening arrhythmia within the last 6 months;
  
• Patients with resting hypotension (BP <90/50 mmHg) or hypertension (BP >170/110 mmHg);
  
• Patients with cardiac failure or coronary artery disease causing unstable angina.
  

[BluesPower]

Several people are correct in several areas. RC hit the nail on the head about a bunch of it.

 

Here are some of the main issues:

 

1) You need a new, experienced cardio doctor. Now the childhood heart murmur could be nothing and it may not be an issue with adult hood. My youngest had one that he grew out of and he played football for a lot of years. He has been checked out several time and it has stayed gone.

 

2) Some anxiety and depression meds cause these issues for a huge amount of people. Some meds do this and some don't so you have to find one that has less side effects than the others. But understanding it and learning about it should at the very least make him feel better.

 

3) He has severe OCD without a doubt. He may have other physiological issues as well. This HAS to be dealt with in a proactive and totally ADULT way. Meaning, no sweeping it under the rug and pretending that these things don't exist, no "Not" telling the doctors what is actually going on. That has to stop now.

 

4) If he has any blood pressure issues and is taking meds for that, those can cause ED issues of various types. For me it makes it hard to finish. And while the girls may think that is great, it actually can be a drag sometimes. However, the time of day and the particular medicines that you take make a difference with a lot of them.

 

5) The porn issue. You both should be able to communicate about the porn that both of you are watching. You really should not have any secrets about this stuff. Who knows, may you are watching the same stuff and don't know it.

 

But, TOO MUCH PORN can be a really bad thing. Especially for a guy that has insecurity issues.

 

6) He may be BI. I mean if that is not an issue for you, then he should not be in the closet about it. If it is an issue for you, that is just one more thing to add to the list.

 

7) COMMUNICATION - You two guys do not know how to communicate at all. If you love one another, both of you have to get past this. Between your CSA issues and whatever issues your husband has, you two guys have to be able to talk.

 

8) Your sex life... This is an issue for both of you, whether you want to swing, hot wife or just be with each other, you guys have some major issues. What ever you guys decide that your sex life should be, what is currently going on is not it. Frankly, I think that it is very unhealthy in some ways right now.

 

9) The online places that sell ED meds are selling the same stuff. It works and you guys need to look into it. Internet reviews will led you to the most reliable ones and you will save a ton of money.

 

And, Cialis can be far more effective that Viagra. And the combination of the 2 can be awesome for some guys. Provided that the new cardio doc gives him a clean bill of health. As far as BP goes, the ED meds don't usually actually raise the BP as much as redirect the blood flow. But all of this should be researched carefully.

 

So, end of list.

 

But OP, as young as you both are you guys have to get all of this under control ASAP. A lot of this just get worse with age. You should understand that at your ages, you guys should be having wild monkey sex at least every day. It should be spontaneous and romantic at a times as well. My wife and I were both just horn dogs at this age which is probably why she was pregnant all the time.

 

Also, OP, with the severity of some of the stuff that you are dealing with, you need to consider is you are up for the amount of work that this is going to take to fix it. You guys need to adjust your budget to afford therapy because you both need to work on some of these issue with a therapist.

 

Good luck to you both...

[VeveCakes]

Is there any chance he might secretly be into men?

[Ahurtgirl]

Is there any chance he might secretly be into men?

 

Yep... he reads just like the man I am.seperated from due to him finally coming out 20 years later. Hope you figure it out sooner than I did. It took an affair with my xMM for me to realize just how gay my husband was. My xMM wanted me ... I had never had that feeling my entire marriage. It really is an amazing feeling to not have to constantly push to be intimate and to try everything under the sun to get your husband to notice you (and I am not ugly, my xMM was so good at stating how beautiful I am.... not once, even on my wedding did my spouse tell me I was pretty).