Bad texter or just not interested?

[joseb]

 

Tennis elbow was the excuse.

 

Seriously? Were you playing tennis on the date?

If not, then it almost seems like he is messing with you.

It's like a joke excuse.

 

How can tennis elbow come on that quickly and be bad enough to cancel a date?

 

If I were you I'd reply that you couldn't make it anyway as you were doing your hair.

Edited December 24, 2016 by joseb

[HereNorThere]

Okay, just to play devil's advocate here.

 

I lived with all female roommates and a house full of female neighbors when online dating first started. The texting vs. calling thing is definitely subjective. Some of them would be super pissed if a guy didn't call, the other ones hated, I mean absolutely hated any guy calling them. I text, but I like to talk on the phone. Nearly every girl I've dated sounded awkward and annoyed when I called, so I pretty much avoid it now.

 

Tennis elbow may just be an excuse for something else. If you were suffering from explosive diarrhea, would you come out and say that? What if you woke up what's the worlds biggest zit on the tip of your nose and knew there was no way you could be confident during the date with it? These are real things people deal with. My ex got pissed at me for getting up to sleep in the my guest room once. She took it so personally, like I didn't want to sleep by her. I finally just said "I traveled all week for work and my stomach hurts because I'm constipated. Now I'm just constipated and embarrassed because you could just accept it when I told you my stomach hurt."

 

You said he texted you this morning which is a good sign. A real jerk woild have stood you up or cancelled at the last minute. I'm not saying he's into you. We simply do not enough about his personality to tell you that. There's some good signs and some not so good ones. If he hasn't treated you poorly and still seems interested, do not write him off just yet. Some of my best, longest lasting relationships took months to really form. If I had written off some of them because I took their schedules as disinterest, I would have missed out on those experiences. This is what happens when you date successful and busy people.

[Dis]

Seriously? Were you playing tennis on the date?

If not, then it almost seems like he is messing with you.

It's like a joke excuse.

 

How can tennis elbow come on that quickly and be bad enough to cancel a date?

If I were you I'd reply that you couldn't make it anyway as you were doing your hair.

 

Lmao! Thats good

[Sara1989]

He just woke up with it apparently!!

 

Just night before we had confirmed the date yet by morning he changed his mind??

 

Suppose this is a new lesson, good first date means nothing and if guy not settling down plans with you but keeping you hanging on, your likely his back up girl. My gut is always right as well:laugh:

[HereNorThere]

I agree that tennis elbow sounds like a lame excuse. However, I also know a person in my career field that had to get arthroscopic surgery because his was so bad. He couldn't even work because it. Ugh, if I hear him using dragon naturally speaking one more time, I'm going to go insane.

 

I can empathize with him. I suffer from Myofascial pain syndrome due to ergonomic injuries from nerd employment. There's also at least 3 herniated disc in my lumbar spine, one of which burst and gave me horrible sciatica. And you know what comes after that, YAY!! Painkiller addiction!! Ive longed since kicked that, started getting epidurals, trigger point injections, physical therapy, massage and anything but taking oxycodone ever again.

 

My point is that not everything is black and white. I've definitely cancelled dates because of my repetitive stress injuries. First world problems, I know.

[Gaeta]

Drop this guy and move to next. This is not the type of man you want to date. Dating is suppose to be fun and smooth and so far with him it's been frustrating and disappointing.

 

His excuse for cancelling is offensive whether it's a true story or not. If it's a lie it's a bad one, if it's true than this guy is a crying baby with no empathy for your time and effort to find a babysitter.

 

There is nothing wrong with you, sometimes we just need to kiss a lot of frogs before meeting a prince charming.

[Mystique01]

Go with the flow while still keeping your options OPEN. Keep dating others and don't get attached or invested at this point. It's only been one date. Don't chase him or pursue. Just stay receptive and see what happens.

 

Cosign on this

 

 

 

Either way OP I'm sorry you got stood up.

 

I think a guy who was really interested would have:

 

1. CALLED you to apologize for canceling so late

2. Suggested a different day/time to have a date in the near future

3. Been more enthusiastic and consistent in his text messages in the first place

 

SUre, not all ppl are texting ppl...me, I only like texting to an EXTENT. After that, please call me if you're trying to get to know me romantically.

 

Like someone else mentioned, texting is waaay too passive for me. It's too easy to fake interest in someone.

 

I would say just move on. If a relationship STARTS off with a guy being kind of lukewarm with you, let that be your guide, and listen to your gut instinct. In the beginning a guy should feel EXCITED about you!! He should be anticipating a text from you! If he's not responding back for hours...work or not....a guy who was TRULY interested wouldn't want to inadvertently turn you off from him by being so late with his responses or kind of blasé overall towards you. Ykwim?

 

So if he's okay with showing such a low level of interest in you, that's a sign that he's probably not THAT into you, and you can definitely do better. You want the guy to be truly into you! It makes for a much better relationship.