Grey40 Posted November 16, 2016 Posted November 16, 2016 Met a girl, got number, texting etc. Set up a date for the weekend, she says she already had plans to go to PA to visit her friend and was going to the Jets game on Sunday. I'm friends with her on social media, and can verify that those were legit excuses and real. So I text her Sunday night when she gets home, set up date for Wednesday night for drinks. She agrees says she's looking forward to it. Text her last night to confirm now she says she has to work (at an art gallery opening), which I also confirmed is actually happening and is real, she said she didn't know about this when we originally made plans. She did not apologize however, nor did she offer another time. So most would say, "move on bro, she's not interested" but could it also be she feels really crappy about being so busy and bailing twice and now feels like an idiot? Maybe I should wait a couple days and 3rd times a charm?
Gaeta Posted November 16, 2016 Posted November 16, 2016 Don't know about you but when I feel really crappy for being busy and not being able to follow through my plans I usually apologize abundantly and pick a date I know I will be available. Who needs someone that cannot even apologize for wasting your time? You want to date someone real and empathetic, some some immature woman taking you for a fool. 1
Erik30 Posted November 16, 2016 Posted November 16, 2016 She just flaked once right? Maybe I'm reading it wrong, but it seems like "the first time" she already had plans when you asked her out so that doesn't really count. But if she also cancelled later on after making plans with you, so doing the same thing twice, I would now leave it up to her and stop asking 1
Gr8fuln2020 Posted November 16, 2016 Posted November 16, 2016 Met a girl, got number, texting etc. Set up a date for the weekend, she says she already had plans to go to PA to visit her friend and was going to the Jets game on Sunday. I'm friends with her on social media, and can verify that those were legit excuses and real. So I text her Sunday night when she gets home, set up date for Wednesday night for drinks. She agrees says she's looking forward to it. Text her last night to confirm now she says she has to work (at an art gallery opening), which I also confirmed is actually happening and is real, she said she didn't know about this when we originally made plans. She did not apologize however, nor did she offer another time. So most would say, "move on bro, she's not interested" but could it also be she feels really crappy about being so busy and bailing twice and now feels like an idiot? Maybe I should wait a couple days and 3rd times a charm? She only canceled once. The second time may or may not have been legit. You know for certain she attened this gallery? Anyway, she canceled only once. I would try once more and if, for any reason, she cancels, move on.
dispatch3d Posted November 16, 2016 Posted November 16, 2016 Pro tip: ask girls when they are available, then make plans on that day. If they flake its more there fault, and you dont run into this saturday/sunday thing. I might give it one more go in your scenario, super on the fence though.
frus69 Posted November 17, 2016 Posted November 17, 2016 She did not apologize however, nor did she offer another time. So most would say, "move on bro, she's not interested" but could it also be she feels really crappy about being so busy and bailing twice and now feels like an idiot? Maybe I should wait a couple days and 3rd times a charm? How desperate are you that you even think she maybe feeling crappy about being busy? Sure you can wait another chance, but I bet there is no third time.
Author Grey40 Posted November 17, 2016 Author Posted November 17, 2016 How desperate are you that you even think she maybe feeling crappy about being busy? Sure you can wait another chance, but I bet there is no third time. The reason I said that is because I know how girls tend to overthink stuff, and some girls rather than fessing up and admitting they're being rude and inconsiderate about canceling might not say anything. It's a bit of a stretch I know. And no, not desperate, I'm totally cool with rejection most of the time except when it defies all logic. This isn't a random girl I met on an app, I've met her in person months ago when she was in a relationship, now she's been single for close to 6 months, found her on bumble and decided to message her on Facebook where we were already friends. I know she finds me attractive and I know she was into me when I first met her, but she was taken. She also sounded pretty gung-ho about meeting up, the first time she said sorry and asked if we could do a different day, and this time I guess she just neglected to check her schedule. Still odd that she wouldn't apologize. And weird because I kind of got the vibe she was going to flake. She seems scared to meet up even though she knows me.
Author Grey40 Posted November 17, 2016 Author Posted November 17, 2016 So, I think I'm going to wait until tomorrow, find out how her event went/etc.try to set up one more time. I'm already expecting this to be a lost cause and not in the least bit expecting anything good, but it can't hurt to try one more time, throw the dice see what happens. Worst case scenario is that nothing happens which is already the place I'm in.
dumbass2 Posted November 17, 2016 Posted November 17, 2016 So just to be clear since you said she flaked twice. You set up a first date for the weekend and once it was set then she came back and told you she already plans? Like oops, she forgot when she made plans with you that she already had some? Bottom line is she cancelled at least the last time and didn't say "sorry, how about we try for next.....?" That's is what a lot of people would do if they really felt bad and REALLY were interested in seeing you. It doesn't appear that the interest is mutual. You come off desperate and it will set the tone for things to come if you go right back and ask for another date. I suppose you could always say something like "Hey, if you have a free night coming up let me know and maybe we can make it work"
phineas Posted November 17, 2016 Posted November 17, 2016 IF a woman cancels without offering an alternative time I don't contact them again. IF they contact me and waste my time by not offering a time their free to meet out after flaking I stop responding. Next time they contact me, if they are not asking me out they are ignored. If a woman is truly interested after canceling they will ask me out to make up for it.
frus69 Posted November 17, 2016 Posted November 17, 2016 So, I think I'm going to wait until tomorrow, find out how her event went/etc.try to set up one more time. I'm already expecting this to be a lost cause and not in the least bit expecting anything good, but it can't hurt to try one more time, throw the dice see what happens. Worst case scenario is that nothing happens which is already the place I'm in. No, as long as you don't mind looking desperate, it doesn't hurt tyring one more time. It doesn't matter how you met her, app or not. Same thing. You aren't close friends, you don't know her that well.
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