(25F) Newly discovered issues with affection

[worldexploded]

There has always been a lack of positive affirmations and appreciation in my life. I've dealt with a verbally abusive mother who has some seeded issues of her own. I've never been in a serious relationship either which has made me feel unwanted and invisible.

 

I believe being alone has been beneficial. I love the feeing of independence and progression I have in my life now but I'm beginning to realize I have these adverse feelings towards people who I feel are undeserving of the relationships they have. I also struggling with getting over someone who I feel brought this problem to light. I had a thing for him, he rejected me and is now getting married. I feel like this is some ****ed up cycle I can't break.

 

So I get I crave affection. How do I look past this anger towards these people in my life and keep living?

[burnt]

I wish I had an answer for your questions.

 

Your post resonates with me, as I'm dealing with very similar issues as you are. I too am struggling to find answers.

 

I don't have advice for you--just want to say I'm sorry for what you are going through; not sure if it helps, but you are not alone. I know the helplessness and rage you feel inside, all the while feeling the hunger for that long awaited affection and connection.

[worldexploded]

Thank you. I really appreciate the reply. If you ever want to talk more about it I'm available.

[bummer]

So I get I crave affection. How do I look past this anger towards these people in my life and keep living?

 

Meditation or something similar if therapy is not an option. Read the Power of Now. Reread it if you think its dumb or can't apply any lessons from it. Project and pretend to be the kindest, gentlest person you know and with time see if that's the real you under the resentment complex you've built. If that fails, therapists are great facilitators of new modes of thought.

 

Where's that zip-line picture from? I think you are a great person and clearly an adventurous soul who works hard to have the job you do in the industry you chose. Congrats and have a fantastic day!

[worldexploded]

Where's that zip-line picture from? I think you are a great person and clearly an adventurous soul who works hard to have the job you do in the industry you chose. Congrats and have a fantastic day!

 

Thank you! Thank you for the kind words. I'll definitely pick up that book, I've been getting in to the habit of reading again. The photo is from The Gorge a zip line park near Asheville, NC. It's supposedly the fastest zipline in the country. It was a lot of fun.

[Sweetfish]

There has always been a lack of positive affirmations and appreciation in my life. I've dealt with a verbally abusive mother who has some seeded issues of her own. I've never been in a serious relationship either which has made me feel unwanted and invisible.

 

I believe being alone has been beneficial. I love the feeing of independence and progression I have in my life now but I'm beginning to realize I have these adverse feelings towards people who I feel are undeserving of the relationships they have. I also struggling with getting over someone who I feel brought this problem to light. I had a thing for him, he rejected me and is now getting married. I feel like this is some ****ed up cycle I can't break.

 

So I get I crave affection. How do I look past this anger towards these people in my life and keep living?

 

 

Have you tried accepting that ppl are not as "pretty" as we project them to be? That we have to accept the ugly and good in this world. If you can't take on those risk, it's hard to move forward.

 

Just my opinion

[worldexploded]

You right. I wanted to avoid thinking that the world is a selfish place but it can feel so isolating sometimes. I'm currently looking for ways to work through this. Mainly through my music. I think a change of scenery might be good as well.