"Price of Admission"

[GemmaUK]

This is a pretty good commentary answering the question regarding how someone can't stay interested in someone for more than a couple of months...that they find a reason to disqualify them.

 

This YouTube video of Dan Savage shows a great example of that, he was like, "If your list of shallow

, then get yourself a sex robot you can program."

 

Like the one example,a woman disqualified a guy for chewing with his mouth open. You can say something, but if it's just habit he/she can't break...that's the "Price of admission"...deal with it, yes?

 

I think this is why some people wind up single for too long as some aren't willing to put up with even the minute flaws.

 

Price of admission - well anyone who has had a relationship has been there - varying things, varying degrees.

 

If it's a thing of yours that you are cool with a lady chewing with her mouth open then that's fine - for you - but for me a man doing that is gross!

That is just manners and I shouldn't have to teach a man in his 40's/50's manners.

If some prospect has no baseline manners then yeah I'm totally happy staying single!

[xxoo]

They are not of the 'annoying' variety. They were compatibility flaws.

 

I can't think of too many 'annoying things' a woman could do that would make me next her on the first date. When women prattle on and on about how pretty/handsome their co-workers/friends/neighbors are, that is annoying, but those women typically don't go on dates with me.

 

Ok, but why did you choose to overlook?

 

Was it a rational choice, to give her a chance?

 

Or was it because you found her very attractive and that was more compelling than the negatives?

[GunslingerRoland]

I think there is a difference between going out with someone, getting food spit all over yourself and deciding it's not for you, and having an online dating profile designed to limit potential suitors to the point where you've taken out 95% of the dating population without even having to meet them.

 

We all have deal breakers, but really online dating should be about narrowing down the really important things, and then wait till you meet the person and spend a couple of hours with them to decide if their odd habits are adorable or despicable on them.

[JuneJulySeptember]

Ok, but why did you choose to overlook?

 

Was it a rational choice, to give her a chance?

 

Or was it because you found her very attractive and that was more compelling than the negatives?

 

She was always beautiful and I could tell off the bat she was a very down to Earth and kind person. I would like to think even she was not beautiful that I would have still pursued despite her flaws just because she is down to Earth.

 

Part of my MO and purpose in life is buck society, because I think society is shallow and full of ****.

 

But I'm lucky. To be honest, I rarely reject women. They typically reject me.

 

If I were a woman or handsome man, and I had dozens upon dozens of options, then would I reject women in a Jerry Seinfeld way for petty stuff? Maybe, I guess. How else can you sift through all of the suitors?

 

I don't know. Never been in that position or even close.

[xxoo]

She was always beautiful and I could tell off the bat she was a very down to Earth and kind person. I would like to think even she was not beautiful that I would have still pursued despite her flaws just because she is down to Earth.

 

Part of my MO and purpose in life is buck society, because I think society is shallow and full of ****.

 

But I'm lucky. To be honest, I rarely reject women. They typically reject me.

 

If I were a woman or handsome man, and I had dozens upon dozens of options, then would I reject women in a Jerry Seinfeld way for petty stuff? Maybe, I guess. How else can you sift through all of the suitors?

 

I don't know. Never been in that position or even close.

 

I didn't mean attractive only as beautiful, but rather that you felt desire to spend time with her.

 

That's what's really missing, IMO, when people stop dating over little things like lunchmeat or toothpaste.

[JuneJulySeptember]

Price of admission - well anyone who has had a relationship has been there - varying things, varying degrees.

 

If it's a thing of yours that you are cool with a lady chewing with her mouth open then that's fine - for you - but for me a man doing that is gross!

That is just manners and I shouldn't have to teach a man in his 40's/50's manners.

If some prospect has no baseline manners then yeah I'm totally happy staying single!

 

Chewing with your mouth open can be a cultural thing.

 

Certain asians chew with their mouth open and smack because they want to 'enjoy the food more'. My father literally smacks down on every bite.

 

When I got to college, my roommate thought it was the most disgusting thing in the world, and told me to stop it. I did, because there was no reason for me not to and to this day I chew with both lips sealed whether I'm eating a cherry tomato or half of a hamburger.

Edited November 7, 2016 by JuneJulySeptember

[Buddhist]

Some people would rather die alone than compromise their pretty rigid standards and have vociferously stated that here. More power to 'em...

 

Everyone dies alone. Dying is a lonely pursuit. I care little for the manner in which I leave this world, I care for how I live in it. Some people look upon loneliness as being their greatest fear. It's not one of mine. I have been alone now for a long enough period of time to realise it isn't the end of the world nor even a terrible existence. Whether you are partnered or not is no guarantee that you will be spending your old age with someone. Many people lose their partners decades before they themselves exit their lives. Many of them spend those last years on their own.

 

Just because I choose not to have a romantic partner doesn't mean I choose a hermits life either. I have companionship when I want it. Many people have a fatalistic view of singledom, as if being single makes you a sad and bereft individual. How many partnered people are sad and bereft within their relationships though? Judging by the state of things, a great deal.

 

Quality of life is what's important and not everyone needs a romantic partner to consider their quality of life good.

[JuneJulySeptember]

Everyone dies alone. Dying is a lonely pursuit. I care little for the manner in which I leave this world, I care for how I live in it. Some people look upon loneliness as being their greatest fear. It's not one of mine. I have been alone now for a long enough period of time to realise it isn't the end of the world nor even a terrible existence. Whether you are partnered or not is no guarantee that you will be spending your old age with someone. Many people lose their partners decades before they themselves exit their lives. Many of them spend those last years on their own.

 

Just because I choose not to have a romantic partner doesn't mean I choose a hermits life either. I have companionship when I want it. Many people have a fatalistic view of singledom, as if being single makes you a sad and bereft individual. How many partnered people are sad and bereft within their relationships though? Judging by the state of things, a great deal.

 

Quality of life is what's important and not everyone needs a romantic partner to consider their quality of life good.

 

That's right. We all die alone. Life is about our experiences.

 

So when deciding whether to be single or with somebody for a period of time, I always ask myself, "Is my life better with the person or better alone?"

 

And trust me, I am a loner. There are definitely weekends I prefer to be without my girlfriend, but she has definitely increased the quality of my life. And the experiences we have had together will be remember by me always.

 

When you look at things through a holistic lens like that, then you would really agree that rejecting somebody who might be elsewise suitable for chewing with their mouth open is a good idea?

 

But I digress. I really don't think that happens often at all, and that this thread is more of a goof.

Edited November 7, 2016 by JuneJulySeptember

[LookAtThisPOst]

Chewing with your mouth open can be a cultural thing.

 

Certain asians chew with their mouth open and smack because they want to 'enjoy the food more'. My father literally smacks down on every bite.

 

When I got to college, my roommate thought it was the most disgusting thing in the world, and told me to stop it. I did, because there was no reason for me not to and to this day I chew with both lips sealed whether I'm eating a cherry tomato or half of a hamburger.

 

I think we're getting too fixated on the simple example I used. It was just an example, not a separate topic of discussion.

Remember, the topic was "If you have more than 5 deal breakers?"

 

Besides, the "Food chewing with mouth open", if that's just the ONE dealbreaker, then you're doing pretty good. If you have more than 5 of the same frivolous deal breakers.

 

1. Go with a robot you can program for companionship.

2. Don't get into a relationship.

Edited November 8, 2016 by LookAtThisPOst

[LookAtThisPOst]

Everyone dies alone. Dying is a lonely pursuit. I care little for the manner in which I leave this world, I care for how I live in it. Some people look upon loneliness as being their greatest fear. It's not one of mine. I have been alone now for a long enough period of time to realise it isn't the end of the world nor even a terrible existence. Whether you are partnered or not is no guarantee that you will be spending your old age with someone. Many people lose their partners decades before they themselves exit their lives. Many of them spend those last years on their own.

 

Just because I choose not to have a romantic partner doesn't mean I choose a hermits life either. I have companionship when I want it. Many people have a fatalistic view of singledom, as if being single makes you a sad and bereft individual. How many partnered people are sad and bereft within their relationships though? Judging by the state of things, a great deal.

 

Quality of life is what's important and not everyone needs a romantic partner to consider their quality of life good.

 

This subject wouldn't qualify you, it would be moot and moreso qualify for women who have a problem or complain, "Why can't I find any decent guys?" It's an issue for them, not for you. :-) More power to you with the latter.

[Buddhist]

Meh, people complain about lots of things they do nothing realistically about. This isn't a new thing nor really anything to discuss just because it's women doing the complaining. Plenty of guys on LS too complaining they can't get a GF while discounting the vast majority of women for seemingly silly reasons. It's just the nature of humanity to have a whinge because all their xmas' haven't come at once.

[xxoo]

This subject wouldn't qualify you, it would be moot and moreso qualify for women who have a problem or complain, "Why can't I find any decent guys?" It's an issue for them, not for you. :-) More power to you with the latter.

 

So the issue is the complaining, not the pickiness?

 

If the idea is that they should be zen and leave dating to those who easily find success, when that extend to other sorts of complaints about modern dating?

[LookAtThisPOst]

Meh, people complain about lots of things they do nothing realistically about. This isn't a new thing nor really anything to discuss just because it's women doing the complaining. Plenty of guys on LS too complaining they can't get a GF while discounting the vast majority of women for seemingly silly reasons. It's just the nature of humanity to have a whinge because all their xmas' haven't come at once.

 

That's my point. A lot of people, family and friends, tend to eventually advise their single friend to perhaps chill on the strict criteria and give that shorter guy a chance, even though they are only 5'3" themselves, just an example.

 

You cannot be complaining about your situation if you're not willing to be flexible with your criteria and open your mind a little, esp. if you cannot bring the same thing to the table yourself.

 

Like when overweight people, demand someone with wash board abs,it won't happen for them. I knew of a woman like that, she had a few pounds on herself, not athletic at all, but was fawning over a male marathon runner.

 

He was a friend of mine and had no interest in her because of it.

[LookAtThisPOst]

So the issue is the complaining, not the pickiness?

 

If the idea is that they should be zen and leave dating to those who easily find success, when that extend to other sorts of complaints about modern dating?

 

Well, both pickiness and the complaining actually.