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Girl With NO Female Friends

RandomGuy00

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RandomGuy00 Member

RandomGuy00

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Hi everyone I'm a new guy here, & just wanted help on this situation.

 

There's a girl I somewhat like at work (yes I know, "work relationships" are bad but please bear with me and ignore that part :p ), & she definitely likes me, but over time I've already noticed a few possible (and MAJOR) red flags about her:

 

1. She constantly jokes about how she thinks some nearby guys walking around in the store are cute or hot. Now this may be nothing & just an honest joke, but this wasn't a 1-day thing but almost everyday at least thrice. It makes me wonder: Why would a girl joke to a guy she's into about other guys? Is she that naive? Nothing serious (yet) but just something to think about.

 

2. This one worries me a bit. I've noticed she constantly has what looks like phone numbers written on her hand while at work... a month ago she had 2 numbers, yesterday she only had 1 (which I'm pretty sure was different from the previous 2 numbers)... And I'm hoping to death that this doesn't mean she's getting guys' numbers (or guys giving it to her) as they walk out the store for later hook-ups. Haven't asked her about it yet but I'm going to tomorrow in a jokingly way so that she feels more comfortable answering.

 

3. 1st & BIGGEST red flag: She just told me yesterday that she has ONLY guy friends... And on top of that I've seen her texting before while hanging out with her on our break. If she's serious about having NO female friends, I don't think I'd ever be able to get with a girl that texts other guys about God knows what. I'm sure you all know what they say about girls with NO girl friends without me having to explain.

 

4. 2nd MAJOR red flag: Someone nearly destroyed her NEW car overnight. She told me she was really scared & showed me pics of busted windows, flat tires, scratches, etc... She claims she has no enemies and no idea who would do that to her, but I have a really hard time believing that a random person would just destroy a random person's car without vengeful intent. Who did she screw over? Or possibly, who's boyfriend did she steal?

 

5. Not as major, but still bugs me: One of my other coworkers said she hooked up with another 1 of our coworkers a couple months ago who didn't seem like the best guy for a relationship (AND who is no longer with us due to him getting arrested because of an unpaid ticket). The weird thing about it is that quite a few coworkers knew about them hooking up; I didn't know until yesterday. :confused:

 

And just for the record, we're both in our early 20's, me being 2 years older than her, and she's still in college on top of that! Which means waaay more possible "guy friends", and in her age group. Should I even bother? I don't like girls that hookup with guys a lot (IF that's what she does), and I don't really see the point in temporary hookups so I never do that myself unless I wanna be serious with her. But she might be into this whole "hookup" thing, though I haven't figured out a way to ask her yet. What do you guys think? Not worth the risk? Is my biggest fear about her true and she has a large circle of guys that bang her? Or am I just over-speculating because of my crush on her and she'd actually be faithful and never cheat?

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TheTraveler Established Member

TheTraveler

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2. This one worries me a bit. I've noticed she constantly has what looks like phone numbers written on her hand while at work... a month ago she had 2 numbers, yesterday she only had 1 (which I'm pretty sure was different from the previous 2 numbers)... And I'm hoping to death that this doesn't mean she's getting guys' numbers (or guys giving it to her) as they walk out the store for later hook-ups. Haven't asked her about it yet but I'm going to tomorrow in a jokingly way so that she feels more comfortable answering.

 

What's wrong with her getting digits at work? You're just a coworker.

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Fair Established Member

Fair

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Your instincts are telling you to run, so run.

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RandomGuy00 Member

RandomGuy00

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What's wrong with her getting digits at work? You're just a coworker.

 

I'm sure we all know how guys are, but how "normal" or "common" is it for a girl to get possibly many random guys' numbers? I've been out a lot and I don't hear of this often.

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RandomGuy00 Member

RandomGuy00

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Your instincts are telling you to run, so run.

 

Hahaha might be a good idea. I've always enjoyed the single life anyway. She's just cute & she most definitely likes me and I thought maybe I should give her a chance, but idk. Thanks for the quick replies, guys.

Any other suggestions/opinions?

TheTraveler Established Member

TheTraveler

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I'm sure we all know how guys are, but how "normal" or "common" is it for a girl to get possibly many random guys' numbers? I've been out a lot and I don't hear of this often.

 

Three digits in two months? doesn't seem much.

 

The real kicker is currently she only has guy friends.

 

You can be damn sure she's boned some of them in the past, currently, and possibly again in the future when she's lonely one night or got dumped. Guess who she is going to ring?

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TheTraveler Established Member

TheTraveler

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Hahaha might be a good idea. I've always enjoyed the single life anyway. She's just cute & she most definitely likes me and I thought maybe I should give her a chance, but idk. Thanks for the quick replies, guys.

Any other suggestions/opinions?

 

You're a young man. I would get in and get out.:cool:

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Fair Established Member

Fair

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You're a young man. I would get in and get out.:cool:

 

Don't listen to him.

 

Attraction isn't enough. Learn this now and you'll save yourself a lot of trouble in the future.

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RandomGuy00 Member

RandomGuy00

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Three digits in two months? doesn't seem much.

 

No no what I meant was that I only noticed the numbers were different after all this time, because back then I wasn't into her at all so thought nothing of it & barely even payed any attention to it. I'm sure she had way more than just 3 or 4 numbers in that time (unfortunately), because I always saw a number on her hand almost every day now that I think of it. Don't know if it's the same or not though.

 

The real kicker is currently she only has guy friends.

 

You can be damn sure she's boned some of them in the past, currently, and possibly again in the future when she's lonely one night or got dumped. Guess who she is going to ring?

 

^ My thoughts exactly. What's in the past is the past, I won't knock her for that, I guess as long as her list of hookups isn't too long or involves STDs. My biggest gripe is that I hope it STAYS in the past and that she would never cheat or even flirt with other guys once I got with her. I really don't wanna get caught up in the middle of her and whomever destroyed her car (again, IF it was someone who was out to get her).

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RandomGuy00 Member

RandomGuy00

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Don't listen to him.

 

Attraction isn't enough. Learn this now and you'll save yourself a lot of trouble in the future.

 

Lol no it's fine, I understand where he's coming from, and yes I know attraction is not enough, which is the EXACT reason why I don't ever care for hooking up unless I plan to stay with the person. As corny as it may sound, I'm in it for love, not just getting laid.

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mortensorchid Established Member

mortensorchid

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I read somewhere that if a woman has no woman friends and only guy friends, something's not right. I'm not sure if I agree, I have a lot of guy friends and only a few women friends (I have my reasons for this). But, in general, if something doesn't seem right, it usually isn't. You may never know what that is or is not, but if you choose to ignore it it will always linger there. Based on other information ... This is not a good situation for you to be in so leave.

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TheTraveler Established Member

TheTraveler

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Lol no it's fine, I understand where he's coming from, and yes I know attraction is not enough, which is the EXACT reason why I don't ever care for hooking up unless I plan to stay with the person. As corny as it may sound, I'm in it for love, not just getting laid.

 

Then definitely stay away from this girl.

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Herbalist Established Member

Herbalist

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Hmmm. You sound really insecure, she sounds really insecure. So overall sounds like a match made in hell. Best to put it all out of your mind.

smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

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She's not GF material....what the hell are you thinking??

 

BTW just because she's giving you a little attention and is nice to you doesn't mean she wants to date you. All those guys are orbiters stuck in the friends zone.....stay out of her gravitational pull.

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RandomGuy00 Member

RandomGuy00

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She's not GF material....what the hell are you thinking??

 

BTW just because she's giving you a little attention and is nice to you doesn't mean she wants to date you. All those guys are orbiters stuck in the friends zone.....stay out of her gravitational pull.

 

Thanks for the reply, & hey I was just thinking maybe I give her a chance to be fair to her, but I wanted to see what other people thought about this situation first.

 

Also about the "orbiters": In my opinion they're worse than just friend-zoned orbiters if they're banging her. But again everyone, I just know to be wary of girls like this.

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RandomGuy00 Member

RandomGuy00

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I read somewhere that if a woman has no woman friends and only guy friends, something's not right. I'm not sure if I agree, I have a lot of guy friends and only a few women friends (I have my reasons for this). But, in general, if something doesn't seem right, it usually isn't. You may never know what that is or is not, but if you choose to ignore it it will always linger there. Based on other information ... This is not a good situation for you to be in so leave.

 

Exactly right about something not being right. I understand that very few girls honestly do just happen to have only guy friends that they aren't sleeping around with, but I think it's safe to say in most cases, the girl probably burned all her bridges with other girls in her past for whatever reason. I guess I'll just have to straight up ask her why she has no girl friends, but I'm expecting the usual "girls are too much drama" response, which is also questionable.

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Poe77 Established Member

Poe77

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Hi everyone I'm a new guy here, & just wanted help on this situation.

 

There's a girl I somewhat like at work (yes I know, "work relationships" are bad but please bear with me and ignore that part :p ), & she definitely likes me, but over time I've already noticed a few possible (and MAJOR) red flags about her:

 

1. She constantly jokes about how she thinks some nearby guys walking around in the store are cute or hot. Now this may be nothing & just an honest joke, but this wasn't a 1-day thing but almost everyday at least thrice. It makes me wonder: Why would a girl joke to a guy she's into about other guys? Is she that naive? Nothing serious (yet) but just something to think about.

 

2. This one worries me a bit. I've noticed she constantly has what looks like phone numbers written on her hand while at work... a month ago she had 2 numbers, yesterday she only had 1 (which I'm pretty sure was different from the previous 2 numbers)... And I'm hoping to death that this doesn't mean she's getting guys' numbers (or guys giving it to her) as they walk out the store for later hook-ups. Haven't asked her about it yet but I'm going to tomorrow in a jokingly way so that she feels more comfortable answering.

 

3. 1st & BIGGEST red flag: She just told me yesterday that she has ONLY guy friends... And on top of that I've seen her texting before while hanging out with her on our break. If she's serious about having NO female friends, I don't think I'd ever be able to get with a girl that texts other guys about God knows what. I'm sure you all know what they say about girls with NO girl friends without me having to explain.

 

4. 2nd MAJOR red flag: Someone nearly destroyed her NEW car overnight. She told me she was really scared & showed me pics of busted windows, flat tires, scratches, etc... She claims she has no enemies and no idea who would do that to her, but I have a really hard time believing that a random person would just destroy a random person's car without vengeful intent. Who did she screw over? Or possibly, who's boyfriend did she steal?

 

5. Not as major, but still bugs me: One of my other coworkers said she hooked up with another 1 of our coworkers a couple months ago who didn't seem like the best guy for a relationship (AND who is no longer with us due to him getting arrested because of an unpaid ticket). The weird thing about it is that quite a few coworkers knew about them hooking up; I didn't know until yesterday. :confused:

 

And just for the record, we're both in our early 20's, me being 2 years older than her, and she's still in college on top of that! Which means waaay more possible "guy friends", and in her age group. Should I even bother? I don't like girls that hookup with guys a lot (IF that's what she does), and I don't really see the point in temporary hookups so I never do that myself unless I wanna be serious with her. But she might be into this whole "hookup" thing, though I haven't figured out a way to ask her yet. What do you guys think? Not worth the risk? Is my biggest fear about her true and she has a large circle of guys that bang her? Or am I just over-speculating because of my crush on her and she'd actually be faithful and never cheat?

 

 

I will number my responses the same as your questions here...

 

1.If shes doing that at work shes ether A trying to make you jealous cause she dose like you and thinks she has little chance with you OR..B shes just not into you at all..im honestly leaning towards B cause scenario A usually only happens when the girl already knows the dude for a while.

 

2. As some one above said you are simply a coworker to her and that also helps reinforce my idea that shes honestly not into you in any romantic sense..also are you sure those numbers are not some how work related? its tacky and immature but ive seen people at work do that to remember things..

 

3.Im a female in my late 30s ive always ever since I was a teen and before had ONLY GUY friends and guess what? ive never cheated on a boyfriend because of that fact you wanna know why I have guy friends? mostly because honestly females are usually bat **** crazy in the long run least the ones ive tried to be friends with they are ether to emotional to territorial and/or too hard to deal with if they dont get the friendship on their terms 24/7 just not dealing with that ****..

 

4. Ok I will give you the car thing is really odd and fishy unless maybe some one got her car by mistake? I guess it could happen but its more likely she pissed some one off in some way you can take that one how ever you like I guess..with out really knowing her personally you may never know the entire story on that..

 

5. So its bugging you that she hooked up with a coworker? that the coworker that you want to hook up with hooked up with a coworker? you see the irony there? just checking ok moving on...:laugh:

 

Bottom line is you are in your early 20s so ide say a good 75% of women in your age range and a bit beyond are all into the "hook up" thing..I can respect your not I wasn't ether and it made things harder..if you really want a straight edge girl when it comes to this kinda thing? you might have to go to church more and no that isn't a joke im serious.

 

If you want "morels" you have to go were they are more prevalent and sadly in today's world that's one of the places left they might be...I say might cause basically sex is the new hand shake sad but true..

 

All that said you really cant make a full judgement with out actually talking to her or taking her out at least a few times until then you are just flying blind and making guesses/assumptions..

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mrs rubble Established Member

mrs rubble

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What sort of hobbies does she have?

The reason I ask is because when I was in my teens and early 20's most of my friends were male, I used to go surfing with them, hiking, trail bike riding and lots of other things that most females my age weren't into back then.

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smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

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What sort of hobbies does she have?

The reason I ask is because when I was in my teens and early 20's most of my friends were male, I used to go surfing with them, hiking, trail bike riding and lots of other things that most females my age weren't into back then.

Ya most of my friends were guys too because I was into guy things, like cars. No girl wanted to talk about engine swaps. I'm a tomboy, I still liked looking feminine tho. I definitely wasn't banging any of them.

 

Sure I had hatters......they were narrow minded $%^& just making assumptions.

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RandomGuy00 Member

RandomGuy00

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I will number my responses the same as your questions here...

 

1.If shes doing that at work shes ether A trying to make you jealous cause she dose like you and thinks she has little chance with you OR..B shes just not into you at all..im honestly leaning towards B cause scenario A usually only happens when the girl already knows the dude for a while.

 

2. As some one above said you are simply a coworker to her and that also helps reinforce my idea that shes honestly not into you in any romantic sense..also are you sure those numbers are not some how work related? its tacky and immature but ive seen people at work do that to remember things..

 

3.Im a female in my late 30s ive always ever since I was a teen and before had ONLY GUY friends and guess what? ive never cheated on a boyfriend because of that fact you wanna know why I have guy friends? mostly because honestly females are usually bat **** crazy in the long run least the ones ive tried to be friends with they are ether to emotional to territorial and/or too hard to deal with if they dont get the friendship on their terms 24/7 just not dealing with that ****..

 

4. Ok I will give you the car thing is really odd and fishy unless maybe some one got her car by mistake? I guess it could happen but its more likely she pissed some one off in some way you can take that one how ever you like I guess..with out really knowing her personally you may never know the entire story on that..

 

5. So its bugging you that she hooked up with a coworker? that the coworker that you want to hook up with hooked up with a coworker? you see the irony there? just checking ok moving on...:laugh:

 

Bottom line is you are in your early 20s so ide say a good 75% of women in your age range and a bit beyond are all into the "hook up" thing..I can respect your not I wasn't ether and it made things harder..if you really want a straight edge girl when it comes to this kinda thing? you might have to go to church more and no that isn't a joke im serious.

 

If you want "morels" you have to go were they are more prevalent and sadly in today's world that's one of the places left they might be...I say might cause basically sex is the new hand shake sad but true..

 

All that said you really cant make a full judgement with out actually talking to her or taking her out at least a few times until then you are just flying blind and making guesses/assumptions..

 

Thanks for your great response. :) I'll respond the same way:

1: We have known each other for a while, & yeah that was when she started doing it. And trust me, she likes me. I don't know how much, but she does. Other coworkers have told me she does, she gets a lot more giggly & smiley than usual when I approach her than she had before we were talking, & she seemed very eager for me to get in her car one night after work (which I did).

 

2: No I'm 99.9% sure it's not work related because all we do is check receipts at the front. But you do have a great point.

 

3.: Yeah you are one of the rare good girls with only guy friends, & I'm sorry you constantly ran into horrible girls like that. And I really hope that's not the case with this girl because then I'd feel bad for her. This is actually 1 of the reasons I'm even thinking about giving her a chance because I try to be nice (but not too nice).

 

4.: Idk but I'm gonna ask her about it one final time tomorrow. I'm gonna ask her to really think for a second about anyone she met &/or messed around with that she should not have messed with.

 

5: :p The thing is, I don't wanna just "hook up" & be done with someone. I would wanna stay with them long term & have an actual girlfriend, not just some f*** buddy. But my generation sadly like you said is all about sleeping around & risking child support & STDs I guess. I don't mind much though, I enjoy being single & not to brag but many girls have said they think I look good so I'm not sweating finding someone else in the future.

 

Oh also about the coworker she hooked up with: It's not that I'm jealous or anything (hell, I give him props), it was only because of the type of questionable guy he was that made me judge her taste in guys (and if she has very low standards which is a turnoff for me).

 

And finally about "flying blind", yes I know I'm only making assumptions mostly as of now, but I just wanted to see others' opinions on this weird, risky situation before I even began to think about dating her. I catch feelings quick & I don't wanna go on a date & end up liking the wrong type of girl.

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smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

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You are getting second hand information about her "hookup". I know how rumors start in the workplace, so don't believe everything you hear. The only person that can tell you if it actually happened is her.

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RandomGuy00 Member

RandomGuy00

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What sort of hobbies does she have?

The reason I ask is because when I was in my teens and early 20's most of my friends were male, I used to go surfing with them, hiking, trail bike riding and lots of other things that most females my age weren't into back then.

 

Wow I'm an idiot for never having asked her that yet :p but if she has no girl friends I'm a bit scared of what her response will be haha. Of course I understand & respect the women here that have or had mostly guy friends and are good people relationship-wise, but we all know there are those who are a little "easier" to put it nicely. I just gotta look out for myself. I've already seen quite a few pure evil women in my age group that cheat on their guy while he's at war (just 1 example).

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RandomGuy00 Member

RandomGuy00

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You are getting second hand information about her "hookup". I know how rumors start in the workplace, so don't believe everything you hear. The only person that can tell you if it actually happened is her.

 

^ This too. Yeah I guess my dumb little crush on her is clouding my judgement & making me believe things that might not even be true. I'll just have to ask her & have that more "serious" talk which I was trying to avoid. We mostly just joke around & flirt a little whenever we talk.

mrs rubble Established Member

mrs rubble

Posted
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Wow I'm an idiot for never having asked her that yet :p but if she has no girl friends I'm a bit scared of what her response will be haha. Of course I understand & respect the women here that have or had mostly guy friends and are good people relationship-wise, but we all know there are those who are a little "easier" to put it nicely. I just gotta look out for myself. I've already seen quite a few pure evil women in my age group that cheat on their guy while he's at war (just 1 example).

 

I think you should find out a bit more about her then before making assumptions.

There are lots of evil people out there, male and female, and lots of them come across as normal "nice" people until you get to know them properly.

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morrowrd Established Member

morrowrd

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You don't even have one date under your belt and you're worried about red flags? You're most likely just one on a long list of guys she's friendly with, and misinterpreting those friendly signs and flirts as "she's into me." Maybe her car was damaged by some guy thinking like you do, and found out differently. Moral of the story, it's her life to do as she pleases. A college girl? This is the time of her life to explore who she is, just like you're doing. There is nothing wrong with being friends, work on being a good co-worker and friend and quit worrying about stuff that's not any of your business to worry about.

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