d295545 Posted October 29, 2016 Posted October 29, 2016 About 1 month ago, I ended a relationship with a younger man who is in an open relationship. It was a heart wrenching decision. I felt like this was one of those magical relationships. We just clicked. We would have these mutual "moments" on a regular basis. The relationship ended because I wanted an exclusive relationship.* It came down to his inability to hurt the other girl. He said he couldn't face his family and that she is mentally unstable.* I am angry with him for being weak.* And I realize that is probably only part of it. For the first week, I was completely heartbroken. I would compare the hurt to that which I felt when my Dad passed away suddenly. About 10 days ago, I felt a lot better. Last weekend, I randomly ran into him while out on my routine walk. We talked for about an hour. He said he wanted to meet up again. I told him that he really needed to think about "why" he wants to see me again.* He texted me on Monday. I responded briefly but made it clear that this would not turn into daily communication. I am frustrated with myself. I just want to see him and hang out.* I know that kind of thing will lead nowhere good. BUT I CANNOT stop wanting it.
Introspectah Posted November 4, 2016 Posted November 4, 2016 ' I find this segment to be of particular meaningfulness. For the first week, I was completely heartbroken. I would compare the hurt to that which I felt when my Dad passed away suddenly. Have you perhaps been subconsciously seeking within a man characteristics that resemble those of your father who you have so unfortunately become temporarily seperated with (?) and, moreover, have you perhaps been yearning for a man to substitute your father's contribution to your emotional well-being in a way? I ask this rather delicate question since thorough observation and study, and personal experience as well, have led me to believe that the particular traits of character we're attracted to in amorous pursuits, more often than not directly stem from the primordial affection and awe we've felt for our primary caretaker(s).
ExpatInItaly Posted November 4, 2016 Posted November 4, 2016 Is he in an open relationship, or is he cheating? It sounds a lot more like the latter. Otherwise, why would his girlfriend be so hurt? I think you dodged a big bullet here.
KM32 Posted November 4, 2016 Posted November 4, 2016 Is he in an open relationship, or is he cheating? It sounds a lot more like the latter. Otherwise, why would his girlfriend be so hurt? That was my first thought, too. It might be that what OP means is that she's demanding that this guy goes monogamous with her, which would mean breaking up with his original girlfriend. In that case, the original girlfriend would be rightfully devastated whether she know about this woman or not. I have some poly friends. It does seem like there's an unusual amount of drama in all of their relationships. Maybe that's simple math.
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