Miss Spider Posted October 23, 2016 Posted October 23, 2016 If you are an exclusive LTR and he keeps his profile up, but hasn't changed anything. He says he just uses it for friends. In his profile he updated it to "I'm no longer in x city I moved to y city and I mostly just use this for pen pals" however, he hasn't updated what he's looking for which is women near him looking for short term dating, long term dating, and friends. He checks it every day. Do you get suspicious if otherwise he's a great guy? 1
Versacehottie Posted October 23, 2016 Posted October 23, 2016 That would not fly with me at all. He's taking you for a ride. It's not honest. It's not building trust and I wouldn't consider myself in a relationship with this person. Good luck, cookies 4
Author Miss Spider Posted October 23, 2016 Author Posted October 23, 2016 (edited) This is not the same guy as before. City he has up is 10hr from where he is now Edited October 23, 2016 by Cookiesandough
joseb Posted October 23, 2016 Posted October 23, 2016 Are you talking about yourself? Are you in an exclusive LTR with someone? Didn't you just finish with a guy" http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/597689-messed-up-bad-guy-6.html 1
Space Ritual Posted October 23, 2016 Posted October 23, 2016 If you are an exclusive LTR and he keeps his profile up, but hasn't changed anything. He says he just uses it for friends. In his profile he updated it to "I'm no longer in x city I moved to y city and I mostly just use this for pen pals" however, he hasn't updated what he's looking for which is women near him looking for short term dating, long term dating, and friends. He checks it every day. Do you get suspicious if otherwise he's a great guy? He is so full of crap his teeth are floating. 5
Author Miss Spider Posted October 23, 2016 Author Posted October 23, 2016 Why is it so bad to use it for pen pals?
Shanex Posted October 23, 2016 Posted October 23, 2016 Why is it so bad to use it for pen pals? He is keeping his options open. Why swallow so much bull crap? Especially in a LTR. Indeed, what a great guy. 4
Author Miss Spider Posted October 23, 2016 Author Posted October 23, 2016 Are you talking about yourself? Are you in an exclusive LTR with someone? Didn't you just finish with a guy" http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/597689-messed-up-bad-guy-6.html Not myself. My friend was wondering. She has trust I ssues and self-esteem issues too. she doesn't want to snoop but it makes her uncomfortable. They live together,well he lives with her.
ExpatInItaly Posted October 23, 2016 Posted October 23, 2016 "Pen pals." Yeah, right. What is this, 1995? Who even advertises for pen pals anymore? He's full of crap. And your friend is naive if she believes him. 6
JewelD Posted October 23, 2016 Posted October 23, 2016 Why is it so bad to use it for pen pals? Because that's not what it's for. Sure, there's that option, but why would you bother when a dating site is primarily composed of people looking to date/hookup? Plus you said he didn't change what he was looking for on his profile. So he's possibly fielding (and sending) messages from/to women who are looking for more than pen pals. and if he's looking for 'women', it's not going to show any men.Why is he being gender specific if they're just going to be pen pals? 4
joseb Posted October 23, 2016 Posted October 23, 2016 Not myself. My friend was wondering. She has trust I ssues and self-esteem issues too. she doesn't want to snoop but it makes her uncomfortable. They live together,well he lives with her. I find it suspicious, I would be surprised if it's all innocent. I mean, it's possible. But why do you need 'penpals' anyway. As a guy, that idea is ridiculous. If he has connections in his old city (non romantic) then he would have better ways to keep in touch than a dating app. 3
Gloria25 Posted October 23, 2016 Posted October 23, 2016 Pen pals? Is he deployed? Nope... Ok, again, who needs "pen pals" in this day/age? 3
gorf Posted October 23, 2016 Posted October 23, 2016 (edited) yeah of course that would be suspicious, unless you dont really care I suppose. And he checks it everyday. There is more here than he is telling you, and you know what that is and why he is not telling you. How about, ask him to log on so you can see. Then go into settings right in front of him and take out the "looking for women" kinda stuff. As you are taking it out, tell him "you're seeing me, you don't need this info in there, right?" And proceed to take it out. See how he reacts. See if he puts it back when you are done. If there is anything short of a "go ahead" then you know what he is up to... and you should absolutely not be ok with it and very suspicious. Edited October 23, 2016 by gorf 1
gorf Posted October 23, 2016 Posted October 23, 2016 "Pen pals." Yeah, right. What is this, 1995? Who even advertises for pen pals anymore? HAHAH! yeah I was going to say that. XD Even if this were 1995.. does he really need a penpal if he is dating a woman? Maybe that's just me, I'm a guy 1
Zapbasket Posted October 23, 2016 Posted October 23, 2016 Oh, hell no. I think once you have verbally ascertained exclusivity, the dating profiles come down. Period, no exceptions. No one uses dating sites for platonic "pen pals." It's just not suggested by the use of the site. I'd never buy such an excuse. 1
basil67 Posted October 23, 2016 Posted October 23, 2016 Why is it so bad to use it for pen pals? Because it's not a pen pal site. It's a dating site. 5
bachdude Posted October 23, 2016 Posted October 23, 2016 Put up a fake profile and contract him and see what happens. Lol 4
Gloria25 Posted October 23, 2016 Posted October 23, 2016 Put up a fake profile and contract him and see what happens. Lol Yeah, and tell him you so need a pen pal too!!! :D:laugh: 2
Buddhist Posted October 23, 2016 Posted October 23, 2016 No-one needs to find friends on a dating website. Plenty of other places to find them easily. 1
mortensorchid Posted October 23, 2016 Posted October 23, 2016 Are you talking about a dating website or Facebook? Because if he has a profile up on a dating website then he's keeping his options open. If he has not updated his Facebook relationship status, he's really not being exclusive with you. Move on. 1
longjohn Posted October 23, 2016 Posted October 23, 2016 If you are an exclusive LTR and he keeps his profile up, but hasn't changed anything. He says he just uses it for friends. In his profile he updated it to "I'm no longer in x city I moved to y city and I mostly just use this for pen pals" however, he hasn't updated what he's looking for which is women near him looking for short term dating, long term dating, and friends. He checks it every day. Do you get suspicious if otherwise he's a great guy? That's like saying a fat guy walks into a fast food place but has no intention of eating what's on the menu. Logically we know he's going to order food and eat it. He's looking for other women, dump him as he's obviously wasting your time. He's looking for and/or dating other women while your not around. Move along there's lots of us men out there happy to be with just one lady and be honest about what we want. 1
Versacehottie Posted October 23, 2016 Posted October 23, 2016 Because it's not a pen pal site. It's a dating site. I agree. If he is such a "great guy" on a base level, why is he misleading the women from the dating site??? They are on there to date, will get their hopes up if the two of them are in contact--great people don't do that. I'd bet he never tells them he's looking for "pen pals" anyway:sick: Who does that? It is so obvious he is keeping his options open. He's barely trying to hide it. Your friend is being naive. He's got one foot out the door for sure. If it was a hobby related site, he have some excuse and it would make more sense or if it was friends that were girls through an activity or work it would make more sense (and thus be more confusing for your friend about what to do). It makes no sense to put up with this at all. Dump immediately, 1
Toodaloo Posted October 23, 2016 Posted October 23, 2016 If you are an exclusive LTR and he keeps his profile up, but hasn't changed anything. He says he just uses it for friends. In his profile he updated it to "I'm no longer in x city I moved to y city and I mostly just use this for pen pals" however, he hasn't updated what he's looking for which is women near him looking for short term dating, long term dating, and friends. He checks it every day. Do you get suspicious if otherwise he's a great guy? Cookies. Drop it. 1
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