elaine567 Posted October 21, 2016 Share Posted October 21, 2016 Monogamy refers to the habit of having only one mate at a time, it is not about having one mate for an entire life.. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Fishfingersareyummy Posted October 21, 2016 Share Posted October 21, 2016 But really, no one is gonna find 100% match. That's when you as a person, has to know what you'll compromise on and what's a deal breaker for you. Most important is to choose wisely. You could just choose to remain single... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted October 21, 2016 Share Posted October 21, 2016 Monogamy refers to the habit of having only one mate at a time, it is not about having one mate for an entire life.. Exactly, you don't like your current mate? Either dump them or stay. No 'get out and cheat for free card' for you!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Fishfingersareyummy Posted October 21, 2016 Share Posted October 21, 2016 No 'get out and cheat for free card' for you!!! It seems a majority of people never got that memo... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SammySammy Posted October 21, 2016 Share Posted October 21, 2016 Ok, the accident thing is something that no one can control and in some cultures/religions that would allow the married couple to consider getting another wife for the husband and it makes sense cuz that way he doesn't dump his wife - who no guy would probably marry - and husband doesn't have to remain celibate. Now, your other example. Really? I'm gonna cheat cuz I can't have an intellectual conversation with my SO? Ok, whatever. So, when they were dating they didn't realize this red flag. But really, no one is gonna find 100% match. That's when you as a person, has to know what you'll compromise on and what's a deal breaker for you. Most important is to choose wisely. Don't jump and marry someone you barely know and/or saw red flags. Again, poor choices in a mate isn't a 'get out and cheat for free card'. I'm saying when we meet someone who fills a need or someone who we have things in common with, sometimes one thing can lead to another. No, I'm not suggesting that's a reason to cheat. I'm just saying that's often how things happen. How simple interactions can lead to boundaries being crossed. We can choose wisely, compromise, discuss, and anything else we want to do, but we're never going to be able to seal our partner off from another person that might pique an interest that leads to an affair. That's a risk we all take when we have relationships. Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted October 21, 2016 Share Posted October 21, 2016 I'm saying when we meet someone who fills a need or someone who we have things in common with, sometimes one thing can lead to another. No, I'm not suggesting that's a reason to cheat. I'm just saying that's often how things happen. How simple interactions can lead to boundaries being crossed. We can choose wisely, compromise, discuss, and anything else we want to do, but we're never going to be able to seal our partner off from another person that might pique an interest that leads to an affair. That's a risk we all take when we have relationships. Sorry, I beg to differ. One thing leads to another cuz people let emotions and feelings and hornies rule them. If you see yourself getting too cozy to someone other than your SO, you have to stop interacting with that person...period. Then, next problem is people don't water their own lawn. Ok, so they run across that special person who finally "gets" how he/she likes only two spoons of sugar in their coffee. Ok, guess what? When the excitement settles and you destroyed what you had with your SO for the new person, then you get to see that the new person has an annoying habit of digging their nose. Again, some people may find that special person who is the total package and/or just has that "thing" about them that their SO lacks. But you made a commitment to your SO, what if kids are involved? You just can't bounce. Lastly, if you indeed are happy with your SO and/or have basic respect for your RL, you won't have a wondering eye. Link to post Share on other sites
LargoLagg Posted October 21, 2016 Share Posted October 21, 2016 I'm just wondering, and looking to see people's opinions on it... Why can a partner not stick to the person they're currently with? Usually because they are not enthralled. This can range from bored to disgusted. Why must they seek attention and affection (love) elsewhere, when they have it perfectly with them in their current partner?Anybody can get love and affection. It's a question of who is giving it to you. If you don't like someone, then who cares if they give love and affection to you? Why do they bother for so long, if they don't see it going anywhere? to prevent them or us from being hurt? because they have no other options at the time?All of the above. Sometimes the reasons are financial or logistic too. Why do people just suddenly give up on things with so much potential or long-term R/S? is there a hidden affair or something of which they do not want to tell because it will affect them and the way people portray them?Because they don't care. It reflects a lack of valuing the relationship. It's personal preference really and I don't really have anything against it, but how do people get into the mindset of 'getting around'? in other words, going on multiple dates, sleeping with multiple people within a short period of time. Is it just considered to be 'living life'? or just simply not wanting to be in a 'committed partnership'?Usually, because variety is the spice of life, and no single relationship sticks out above the others. If your favorite food is not on the buffet, you might sample everything. But if your favorite is there, you'll go for that. I don't know why I'm so curious on these things... It's just taken alot of thinking out of me to try and understand recently.You must not think this way then. Link to post Share on other sites
NJ123 Posted October 21, 2016 Share Posted October 21, 2016 Sometimes your partner can't meet your needs. One couple I know, the guy is very fit. His wife had a bad car accident when she was young. Had several broken bones and other physical damage. She's better, but she'll never be able to go to the gym and work out like he does. If he wants a workout partner, he can't "fix" his wife. The doctors already tried. He just needs to not boink that hot cutie who needs a spotter at the gym. I know another couple where one person is much smarter than the other. The smarter person will never get the intellectual stimulation she needs at home. There's no fixing that. It's just not going to happen. And that's fine. Her husband seems to be a great guy in many other areas. It's just a matter of not crossing the line when she meets a guy who can have those conversations and has similar interests. We're all different. Have different experiences, interests, and abilities. It's not realistic to expect our partner to be able to meet all of our needs. That's why we have friends. Hobbies. And why sometimes a need unmet inside of our relationship can lead us into the arms of another person. That's why I think people who withhold sex or affection are sabotaging their relationship. Because you force your partner to seek it elsewhere. Those are needs that usually CAN be met inside the relationship. When they are not, it often leads to predictable results. All interesting points, but there's no excuse whatsoever in anyway to cheat. If someone cheats than to me that says they don't love the person they're with any longer. It's an extremely selfish thing to do & you even put your partner at risk since who knows if the other person has STDs or something. It's just a really sick thing to do to someone else. Link to post Share on other sites
Fair Posted October 21, 2016 Share Posted October 21, 2016 Because relationships are often more of a headache than they're worth... Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted October 21, 2016 Share Posted October 21, 2016 I don't know but I think it's something wired into people. They tend to be monogamous or not. Obviously there are exceptions where someone can genuinely fall in love with a friend or something and it is a surprise to both of them, but generally I think there are those who rarely stay in one relationship for long (or stay in it but cheat all the time). Link to post Share on other sites
Buddhist Posted October 22, 2016 Share Posted October 22, 2016 Most people are looking for someone or something else to fill their voids. That's why people do everything and anything. End of. Link to post Share on other sites
Fishfingersareyummy Posted October 22, 2016 Share Posted October 22, 2016 Most people are looking for someone or something else to fill their voids. That's why people do everything and anything. End of. I couldn't disagree more. People often do things because they want to and not because they feel they need to fill a void. Link to post Share on other sites
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