tolduso05 Posted October 23, 2016 Share Posted October 23, 2016 Social media as a whole doesn't mix with relationships or personal /peaceful living, IMO. Add a breakup to the mix and it really gets stupid. I never understood or gelled with the idea of being plugged into someone else's day to day,play by play life nuances. Who cares? Especially, in reference to an ex. I feel like in this day and age people are so hungry for attention that they risk/pimp their own privacy, relationships, children,etc just to get attention from an audience about what their eating, their relationship status, their child's outfit for the day, etc. As soon as things change or you get a divorce, then the FB /tweet status changes...........seriously? Its no one's business...or at least not EVERYONE'S. It's all a joke to me and I refuse to participate. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 23, 2016 Share Posted October 23, 2016 Update: so the bastard deleted his request. It's only been a few days. I cannot believe what complete jerk he is. Just deleted it? Okay? Whatever easier for me. So I don't have to see the stupid pending request anymore. Jerk. It literally took him 3 days to be like never mind Lol He probably did it by accident and then deleted. Be glad. You don't need contact with him. This is the best thing that could have happened. Why haven't you blocked him? Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 23, 2016 Share Posted October 23, 2016 Social media as a whole doesn't mix with relationships or personal /peaceful living, IMO. Add a breakup to the mix and it really gets stupid. I never understood or gelled with the idea of being plugged into someone else's day to day,play by play life nuances. Who cares? Especially, in reference to an ex. I feel like in this day and age people are so hungry for attention that they risk/pimp their own privacy, relationships, children,etc just to get attention from an audience about what their eating, their relationship status, their child's outfit for the day, etc. As soon as things change or you get a divorce, then the FB /tweet status changes...........seriously? Its no one's business...or at least not EVERYONE'S. It's all a joke to me and I refuse to participate. I know. Why are people so needy for attention these days? Someone should start a thread about this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author freebird31 Posted October 23, 2016 Author Share Posted October 23, 2016 I am definitely going to block him. But I will give it a few weeks I don't want him to think I'm being petty just because he canceled the request. I won't lie, and I know it's temporary, but it did stir up some old emotions that I thought I had gotten over. Like the feeling and reminder of being rejected. I feel a little silly now..it been a long time and it still has the power to open up old wounds. I'll get over this in a few weeks. Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted October 23, 2016 Share Posted October 23, 2016 I am definitely going to block him. But I will give it a few weeks I don't want him to think I'm being petty just because he canceled the request. I won't lie, and I know it's temporary, but it did stir up some old emotions that I thought I had gotten over. Like the feeling and reminder of being rejected. I feel a little silly now..it been a long time and it still has the power to open up old wounds. I'll get over this in a few weeks. You are miles from where you were. I am so proud of you for not accepting that friend request. Go back and read some of your old threads, and you will see how far you have come. This FB thing is just a bump in the road compared to what you have been through. There's no shame in this triggering emotions. None at all. The point is that you didn't accept the request and, instead, came here to vent. You made the right decision. He probably got embarrassed that you didn't accept his request, so he deleted it. It doesn't really matter WHY. The important thing is that you realized you were not in a place to accept the request and acted accordingly. I'd probably block him too, and who cares what he thinks about it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Frank13 Posted October 23, 2016 Share Posted October 23, 2016 Okay I'll play devil's advocate. What if he wanted to reach out but wasn't sure how you would take it so tried the FB request as a stepping stone to see if you might be open to contact, almost like extending an olive branch? Then when you didn't accept he felt you weren't interested and overstepped his bounds so out of respect or consideration he withdrew it to let you know he would leave you alone? Not saying you should accept. Just that you were mad that he sent a friend request and then made he deleted it when maybe his reasons were not what you thought. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 23, 2016 Share Posted October 23, 2016 I am definitely going to block him. But I will give it a few weeks I don't want him to think I'm being petty just because he canceled the request. Why are you still worrying about what he will think? Do what is best for you and block him. If you had blocked him before none of this would have happened. Link to post Share on other sites
Author freebird31 Posted October 23, 2016 Author Share Posted October 23, 2016 Okay I'll play devil's advocate. What if he wanted to reach out but wasn't sure how you would take it so tried the FB request as a stepping stone to see if you might be open to contact, almost like extending an olive branch? Then when you didn't accept he felt you weren't interested and overstepped his bounds so out of respect or consideration he withdrew it to let you know he would leave you alone? Not saying you should accept. Just that you were mad that he sent a friend request and then made he deleted it when maybe his reasons were not what you thought. I thought of that already. I thought the same. Maybe he had sent the request and if I accepted he would have then messaged me. But then I thought what if I accepted it and then he didn't message me. Just did it for the heck of it. Either way I had thought about it and said I didn't want him to see my life and I don't want to see his posts either. Then I also thought about he how he had messaged me on FB 6 months ago apologizing and I had replied then and said I appreciated it. He then responded after that and said he did not think I would have replied. And then said "hope u are doing well in school!" He could have easily asked me how I was doing then, but didn't. The doors were never completely blocked for communication. He could have as easily sent me another friendly message and asked me how I am instead of a silly friend request. So although I see what you are saying, I don't agree that this was the case here. And maybe me not accepting the friend request will show him I'm not playing these silly games anymore. Want to know how in doing? it's simple, ASK. Link to post Share on other sites
Author freebird31 Posted October 23, 2016 Author Share Posted October 23, 2016 I guess why I was so upset is because it seems as though he can care less to know how I am doing even as a friend. Instead all of his attempts at communication always comes from either guilt or silly games. Never once from a good place in my opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
Author freebird31 Posted October 23, 2016 Author Share Posted October 23, 2016 You are miles from where you were. I am so proud of you for not accepting that friend request. Go back and read some of your old threads, and you will see how far you have come. This FB thing is just a bump in the road compared to what you have been through. There's no shame in this triggering emotions. None at all. The point is that you didn't accept the request and, instead, came here to vent. You made the right decision. He probably got embarrassed that you didn't accept his request, so he deleted it. It doesn't really matter WHY. The important thing is that you realized you were not in a place to accept the request and acted accordingly. I'd probably block him too, and who cares what he thinks about it. Thanks BC1980. I know you have witnessed my journey since the start of it. It feels nice to be reminded that there has been progress. I keep forgetting. Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted October 23, 2016 Share Posted October 23, 2016 I guess why I was so upset is because it seems as though he can care less to know how I am doing even as a friend. Instead all of his attempts at communication always comes from either guilt or silly games. Never once from a good place in my opinion. It's good that you can see that. If he really had the intention of see how you are, a FB friend request is lame and lazy. I think he also might be feeling low because he got dumped, and he was looking for some validation from you. Maybe he reached out to other exes too. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author freebird31 Posted October 24, 2016 Author Share Posted October 24, 2016 It's good that you can see that. If he really had the intention of see how you are, a FB friend request is lame and lazy. I think he also might be feeling low because he got dumped, and he was looking for some validation from you. Maybe he reached out to other exes too. Probably BC1980. But it's okay. I was so annoyed and a little upset over these last few days. But it's not really that big of a deal. It is what it is. And we can both just continue moving on now. Link to post Share on other sites
guest569 Posted October 24, 2016 Share Posted October 24, 2016 It's good that you can see that. If he really had the intention of see how you are, a FB friend request is lame and lazy. I think he also might be feeling low because he got dumped, and he was looking for some validation from you. Maybe he reached out to other exes too. I've been there.. Link to post Share on other sites
Trinity_84 Posted October 29, 2016 Share Posted October 29, 2016 Update: so the bastard deleted his request. It's only been a few days. I cannot believe what complete jerk he is. Just deleted it? Okay? Whatever easier for me. So I don't have to see the stupid pending request anymore. Jerk. It literally took him 3 days to be like never mind Lol I don't have my ex on FB anymore but one day I got drunk, messaged them and sent a friend request, deleted it after like 5 minutes when I realized I actually did not want to be their friend on FB anymore. So take it at face value and move on! Link to post Share on other sites
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