should I propose marriage?

[bobsmith76]

I started getting to know a woman pretty well but when I try to move things to a new level she resists. We're taking the same class in college and I've been talking to her regularly now since about Sept 5th but admittedly none of our talks have lasted longer than 25 minutes and I still know very little about her. She's always happy to see me and naturally gravitates towards me when I come near but when I ask her out she resists. Plus these are pseudodates, that is to say, I ask her if we could meet to take a look at the software I'm building but she refuses. Also, she gave me her phone number and this is where she let me use her phone to call my own so that there can be no doubt as to her real phone number. However, I've called her once and sent her 3 text messages in the last two days and she hasn't responded to any of them. She apologized to me today for doing this. If she were playing hard to get then I think she would respond to more than 50% of my messages.

 

So anyway, she has everything I want in a wife and I feel comfortable around her, plus she has 4 qualities that you find rarely together in one person which I think are very important: moral, intelligent, attractive and loves logic.

 

So I'm thinking if I just tell her bluntly that I love her then while that might be something to consider she can still dismiss it. If, on the other hand, I propose marriage she might take me seriously. Then again, she might think that I do not understand the meaning of the word and might think that I do not understand how relationships work.

 

By the way, whenever I ask her out she claims to be too busy and admittedly she is by the way she talks about how she uses her time, but still, at any point in time you can fill up your life with a bunch of useless tasks. I think it's more likely that she's commitmentphobic. It's possible that if I keep hanging around for another 6 months she might change her mind but I doubt it.

[JewelD]

That girl does not want you. Move on. I can't believe you would even consider proposing marriage to someone who won't even accept a proper date from you or return your phone calls and texts. I think you're incredibly out of touch with reality.

[Mrin]

Not sure if serious...

 

Simply put, no. This is a sure fire way to get a restraining order filed against you and since you're both in the same university, some sort of intervention by the administration.

[Gaeta]

SURE , go ahead and propose to her tomorrow. You'll know right there and then where she stands, right!

 

Will be standing by to read your update.

[dpass]

Of course not. She clearly is not interested in you. You sound like your better suited for an arranged marriage.

[Miss Spider]

"We're taking the same class.. so I guess you could say it's getting pretty serious "

[Redhead14]

I started getting to know a woman pretty well but when I try to move things to a new level she resists. We're taking the same class in college and I've been talking to her regularly now since about Sept 5th but admittedly none of our talks have lasted longer than 25 minutes and I still know very little about her. She's always happy to see me and naturally gravitates towards me when I come near but when I ask her out she resists. Plus these are pseudodates, that is to say, I ask her if we could meet to take a look at the software I'm building but she refuses. Also, she gave me her phone number and this is where she let me use her phone to call my own so that there can be no doubt as to her real phone number. However, I've called her once and sent her 3 text messages in the last two days and she hasn't responded to any of them. She apologized to me today for doing this. If she were playing hard to get then I think she would respond to more than 50% of my messages.

 

So anyway, she has everything I want in a wife and I feel comfortable around her, plus she has 4 qualities that you find rarely together in one person which I think are very important: moral, intelligent, attractive and loves logic.

 

So I'm thinking if I just tell her bluntly that I love her then while that might be something to consider she can still dismiss it. If, on the other hand, I propose marriage she might take me seriously. Then again, she might think that I do not understand the meaning of the word and might think that I do not understand how relationships work.

 

By the way, whenever I ask her out she claims to be too busy and admittedly she is by the way she talks about how she uses her time, but still, at any point in time you can fill up your life with a bunch of useless tasks. I think it's more likely that she's commitmentphobic. It's possible that if I keep hanging around for another 6 months she might change her mind but I doubt it.

 

it's more likely that she's commitmentphobic -- There is absolutely not enough information to even guess that she might be commitment-phobic.

 

There is, however, a ton of information that proves she is YOU-phobic. Get a grip before you end up in jail and/or expelled from the university.

[sooshi]

I still know very little about her.

 

So anyway, she has everything I want in a wife

 

What in the world?

 

Your post. Wow.

 

You totally creep me out.

[basil67]

Don't ever propose marriage unless you know without a doubt that the answer will be "yes".

[lana-banana]

Then again, she might think that I do not understand the meaning of the word and might think that I do not understand how relationships work.

 

This conclusion appears justified.

[Redhead14]

Watch for a Breaking News flash from Baltimore, MD folks . . .

[olivetree]

You are clearly a person that values logic.

 

Here is an if-then statement for you:

 

If a woman spends 0 hours answering your texts and phone calls

And has spent 0 hours with you outside of class

Then she doesn't want to spend the next 525,000:00 hours with you either.

[Gr8fuln2020]

I started getting to know a woman pretty well but when I try to move things to a new level she resists. We're taking the same class in college and I've been talking to her regularly now since about Sept 5th but admittedly none of our talks have lasted longer than 25 minutes and I still know very little about her. She's always happy to see me and naturally gravitates towards me when I come near but when I ask her out she resists. Plus these are pseudodates, that is to say, I ask her if we could meet to take a look at the software I'm building but she refuses. Also, she gave me her phone number and this is where she let me use her phone to call my own so that there can be no doubt as to her real phone number. However, I've called her once and sent her 3 text messages in the last two days and she hasn't responded to any of them. She apologized to me today for doing this. If she were playing hard to get then I think she would respond to more than 50% of my messages.

 

So anyway, she has everything I want in a wife and I feel comfortable around her, plus she has 4 qualities that you find rarely together in one person which I think are very important: moral, intelligent, attractive and loves logic.

 

So I'm thinking if I just tell her bluntly that I love her then while that might be something to consider she can still dismiss it. If, on the other hand, I propose marriage she might take me seriously. Then again, she might think that I do not understand the meaning of the word and might think that I do not understand how relationships work.

 

By the way, whenever I ask her out she claims to be too busy and admittedly she is by the way she talks about how she uses her time, but still, at any point in time you can fill up your life with a bunch of useless tasks. I think it's more likely that she's commitmentphobic. It's possible that if I keep hanging around for another 6 months she might change her mind but I doubt it.

 

bobsmith76. How many relationships have you been in? How old are you? 40?

 

You must know, if your question is a serious one, that there is something deeply troubling about your intended course of action, no?

[sooshi]

bob, I am sorry if my post was rude, but your behaviour really is creepy and troubling.

 

I've looked at your past threads on here.

 

You've thought that a girl you met on match.com who lives in your city, responded to your e-mail, and who's read a book about the holographic universe was the one--and you'd never met her.

 

Another time, you met a girl at a writer's group who you perceived to be very talented, and you she didn't have a boyfriend/husband so she might be single, that you were deep in love with her and could hear wedding bells.

 

You also have a thread post about stalking.

 

Yikes, OP. Please do not propose to this girl. You can get into serious trouble.

 

Seek therapy.

[Imajerk17]

Dafuq

 

So you have a girl who will hardly accept a DATE with you and you are asking to MARRY her??

 

This is just too absurd to comment.

[Redhead14]

It's not about being rude. It's more like grabbing someone by the shoulders and getting them to understand and be self-aware and focused and saving themselves from themselves.

[Gaeta]

It's not about being rude. It's more like grabbing someone by the shoulders and getting them to understand and be self-aware and focused and saving themselves from themselves.

 

But some people need to be out in the field and learn the hard way.

 

OP go ahead and propose, it will be a learning experience.

[Redhead14]

But some people need to be out in the field and learn the hard way.

 

OP go ahead and propose, it will be a learning experience.

 

Having reviewed previous posts, I am more afraid for his love interest. . . He needs to know that he should not act on his impulses.

[Haydn]

A simple `church do` could clinch it...

 

OP, she is not interested.

 

(Don`t do this, i suspect she would be very worried)

[Toodaloo]

A simple `church do` could clinch it...

 

OP, she is not interested.

 

(Don`t do this, i suspect she would be very worried)

 

I am worried and I am nowhere near, just reading on a forum...

 

OP this girl is not interested. Do not keep asking her out and do not ask her to marry you or declare your love... Its a no no...

 

Take some time out to learn about body language and other attributes that are not so logical... like emotions etc. Get an understanding of them - I think it would do you some good.

[miltie1916]

Don't you think you may be putting the cart before the horse in wanting to marry this women when you haven't even gone out with her?

[normal person]

I started getting to know a woman pretty well but when I try to move things to a new level she resists.

 

I've been talking to her regularly now since about Sept 5th but admittedly none of our talks have lasted longer than 25 minutes and I still know very little about her.

 

when I ask her out she resists.

 

I've called her once and sent her 3 text messages in the last two days and she hasn't responded to any of them.

 

[...]

 

So anyway, she has everything I want in a wife and I feel comfortable around her, plus she has 4 qualities that you find rarely together in one person which I think are very important: moral, intelligent, attractive and loves logic.

 

Don't you also want a wife that, y'know... actually likes you?

 

So I'm thinking if I just tell her bluntly that I love her then while that might be something to consider she can still dismiss it. If, on the other hand, I propose marriage she might take me seriously. Then again, she might think that I do not understand the meaning of the word and might think that I do not understand how relationships work.

 

Serious question: why do you think she'd agree to marriage from a guy she's only known for a few weeks, who she's never spoken to for more than 25 minutes, who knows basically nothing about her, who, all these things considered, then displayed the lack of judgment necessary to ask her to marry him?

 

 

I think it's more likely that she's commitmentphobic.

 

Keep thinking.

[kmack513]

bobsmith, you can't be serious? You want to propose marriage to a girl you have never dated, that is loco.

[Robert]

Thread closed pending the return of the thread starter. They can request the thread be reopened via the 'Alert Us' button on this post. ~6