HumanMachine Posted October 13, 2016 Posted October 13, 2016 I met a girl 6 months ago and we hit it off straight away, she's absolutely amazing and had me hooked within a week. We dated/saw each other for a month or so until she told me she didn't want a relationship, fair enough. We continued to see each other, go out, travel to various different places.. Everyone assumed we were a couple but this wasn't the case. Around 4 months in she tells me there's another guy. I was obviously upset but accepted that she had been straight with me from the beginning and it was my own fault for getting too involved. I took a step back from whatever we had going on and remained 'friends' with her. We kept in contact, she told me she was now in a relationship with this guy.. I distanced myself further but this only seemed to make her contact me more, I agreed to meet her one night and we had a fantastic time, she stayed at mine. We continued to see each other every couple of days, whilst she was with the other guy until eventually she broke up with him. This is where i'm at now, we still see each other, have a sexual relationship etc pretty much exactly how it has been for the past 6 months, even when she was with the other guy. Why does she keep running back to me if she doesn't want anything with me? I know what she's doing - keeping me around until she finds someone new.. But why? I've been nothing but good to her..
babylonsfire Posted October 13, 2016 Posted October 13, 2016 You're in a friends with benefits relationship, a very comfortable, fun, friends with benefits relationship, I had one of those for a year, I got too invested early on for a few months, but later, when I realized I was only hurting myself by doing that, I used that to learn how to date. It took a lot of pressure off the first and second dates for me, use it. You know you have steady sex, you know you have someone you can blow off steam to, who can give you a female perspective, that's not "breaking" it off with you. In some ways, this is one of the best things that can happen to you. 1
BluesPower Posted October 13, 2016 Posted October 13, 2016 Man, just enjoy the sex and be safe. If she is a little nuts, OK. If she wants to use you for sex, well gosh I guess you can handle that. Just enjoy yourself. If you meet some chick that you really like, you can dump the FWB and date her or keep both of them if it is the right type of situation. Just don't fall in love though, she is really not relationship material. Have fun... 1
Author HumanMachine Posted October 13, 2016 Author Posted October 13, 2016 Man, just enjoy the sex and be safe. If she is a little nuts, OK. If she wants to use you for sex, well gosh I guess you can handle that. Just enjoy yourself. If you meet some chick that you really like, you can dump the FWB and date her or keep both of them if it is the right type of situation. Just don't fall in love though, she is really not relationship material. Have fun... That's the problem.. I am in love with her. Our relationship isn't just sex. we'll go out exploring, visit new places together, listen to music, watch movies, cook each other food. She is my ideal woman but it will obviously never work.. The only option is to cut her out 100% 1
smackie9 Posted October 13, 2016 Posted October 13, 2016 Yup you both have different expectations.....time to move on. 2
Author HumanMachine Posted October 13, 2016 Author Posted October 13, 2016 Yup you both have different expectations.....time to move on. I've explained this to her before and all she does is get upset and say "i can't lose you blah blah" I have asked her to block me but she refuses I would block her but then i still have her number..
ChickiePops Posted October 13, 2016 Posted October 13, 2016 You're a three course meal for her ego..she's just being selfish. Delete her number. If she texts you, delete without reading.
BluesPower Posted October 13, 2016 Posted October 13, 2016 Yeah, if you are in love, well that is a problem. You need to go NC and stay that way. If you don't break it off then it will only get worse for you when she tires of you. Sorry, bud, love is a double edged sword... 1
Toodaloo Posted October 13, 2016 Posted October 13, 2016 I've explained this to her before and all she does is get upset and say "i can't lose you blah blah" the end of that sentence is - "because if I lose you I can't use you any more" Get rid. You are feeding her over inflated ego and getting hurt in the process. 2
smackie9 Posted October 13, 2016 Posted October 13, 2016 You can block/delete her np.....whatever she is going through...not....your......problem. 1
Author HumanMachine Posted October 13, 2016 Author Posted October 13, 2016 I know it's the only way.. But damn it's hard..
tomtheman1234 Posted October 13, 2016 Posted October 13, 2016 I have been in 2 friends with benefits situation a few years ago both lasted about 9 months or so. It ended badly so just be very very carful. It is not easy when you have feeling for someone who is happy to hang out with you and be romantic with you and even sleep with you but says she can't date you. Also its kind of hard to date and find a proper girlfriend in this day and age.
jellybean824 Posted November 3, 2016 Posted November 3, 2016 It could be that she is afraid of rejection, so she is just pushing you away first (or at least attempting to). It is nice that she was honest with you from the beginning; unfortunate that your heart still fell for her. It's hard when your feelings are not reciprocated. However, for your own sake, it may be best to separate from this situation since your expectations are so different from hers. The heart and the head don't always align; unfortunately. Tough situation, but hopefully you can learn from this and move on. Best wishes.
Lily1234 Posted November 3, 2016 Posted November 3, 2016 Interesting but also unfortunately, I'm in a very similar situation, but he is the one only want casual relationship. I posted it here (http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/600994-what-kind-casual-relationship) I guess it's always hard for the one who feel it first, and I don't know why so many people enjoy being in a casual situation. Isn't sharing someone sucks???
stillafool Posted November 3, 2016 Posted November 3, 2016 This chick probably blows every guys mind she dates and she knows it. She broke up with the other guy because she knows there's more out there. She really enjoys the sex with you so she doesn't want to let you go. However, she's still on the hunt for someone more exciting. If you want your heart shredded keep dealing with this girl.
TheTraveler Posted November 3, 2016 Posted November 3, 2016 She's hunting. You want to squat. Time for you to pick up your spear and go hunting.
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