dave54321 Posted October 4, 2016 Posted October 4, 2016 She ended a 4 year relationship and, after explaining why, I was full of remorse. I didn't ask her to change her mind as I knew deep down she'd done the right thing. I told her she'd broken my heart (it was mostly guilt) and made every effort to let her know what a fantastic person she is, absolutely gorgeous, inside and out, and she'll find someone more deserving than me, even though it would kill me when she does. I did this because her self esteem had obviously been dented by my coldness towards her pre break up. She replied that I'd always be in her heart and soul. We remained perfectly civil after that,.....until she changed her Facebook profile pic to an old one of her proudly showing off the engagement ring I'd bought for her, whilst declaring she was in a new relationship with some dude. Her complete and utter disrespect/disregard for her new man actually helped to lower my own guilt, but I've no idea what on earth she thinks she's hoping to achieve?
Arieswoman Posted October 4, 2016 Posted October 4, 2016 OP I am curious as to why you let her keep the engagement ring when it was her who broke it off? Does this guy even exist? Sounds like a load of fantasy from good ole Fakebook
Author dave54321 Posted October 4, 2016 Author Posted October 4, 2016 Hi there. She had invested a hell of a lot of time and money on our relationship, I wasn't going to ask for the ring back, it's hers to do whatever she likes with as it was a gift. Yes he's real. I wasn't remotely surprised by her jumping into a relationship straight away, as she's very insecure and needy (hence why I became increasingly distant). I do care for her though, as she's a wonderful girl, despite her flaws. But I am baffled by her behaviour.
Arieswoman Posted October 4, 2016 Posted October 4, 2016 But I am baffled by her behaviour. Why does it matter? You aren't together any more because it didn't work, unfortunately. Just move on x
Author dave54321 Posted October 4, 2016 Author Posted October 4, 2016 That doesn't stop one from caring.
Arieswoman Posted October 4, 2016 Posted October 4, 2016 Dave, No-one says you should not care. What you shouldn't do is twist yourself in knots trying ti understand her motivations. It's a waste of mental energy and yu won't get an answer. And more importantly, it's holding you back in the past and stopping your healing. You need to let this go and I think you know that deep down.
Author dave54321 Posted October 4, 2016 Author Posted October 4, 2016 Yes I know, and it's probably my guilt resurfacing more than anything. I'm flying home to South Africa tomorrow which should help. I'm such a worrier!
ExpatInItaly Posted October 4, 2016 Posted October 4, 2016 When you saying she's showing off the ring, is it a photo of her hand? Or..? I ask because while it is indeed an odd move, perhaps she doesn't interpret the photo that way. Maybe she feels it's just a particularly flattering photo and the ring happens to be visible.
aloneinaz Posted October 4, 2016 Posted October 4, 2016 I'm surprised you're keeping tabs on her FB when you pulled away from her which ultimately made her end the R/S. It sounds like you simply lost interest in her and the R/S which is normal and should NOT cause you grief. Yes, you could of pulled the plug before she did but it's over now. There's no reason to feel guilt or anything else. She moved on with her life (possible rebound) and she's not your worry or concern anymore. We humans are curious, I get that. However, you spying on her FB is a illustration of why folks should block their ex's social media after a relationship ends. Look at what this has caused you. You're playing mental gymnastics over the meaning of a picture. I hope you've since blocked her page and are working towards full healing so you can put 100% closure to that R/S.
Recommended Posts