miss2017 Posted September 30, 2016 Posted September 30, 2016 I've met narcisistic and self centered guys before, but this one went beyond all scales. I'm glad I didn't even go out on a date with him because I would be losing precious time. Just want to share this story with you and get your feedback. So this guy is a fitness instructor at my gym and I started going to his classes and felt attracted to him. I could tell by his long stares and smiles that he felt the same. He is very attractive and has lots of women around him all the time. I actually found him a bit cocky and arrogant but wasn't sure if I was seeing it right... I was! So because we have a mutual friend that also goes to his classes he arranged a coffee meeting between us at the gym's coffee shop one day after one of his classes. So he basicaly sat there for an hour looking down at his phone and listening to our conversation... And she was asking me questions about if I'm single, how long, etc. And I noticed that these was all arranged so he could know what he wants about me without making any effort! I didn't like the situation and the way he arranged things, I felt uncomfortable and felt the situation wasn't fair on me. So I basically started losing interest on him after this and I started going less often to his classes until I completely stopped. And then one day I saw them at the coffee shop doing the same thing again (similar scenario) with a different girl! So last week I went to the coffee shop and that friend was there, she asked if I wanted to sit with her for a while and since it was just her, I did. So after about 10 minutes he comes into the coffee shop, goes to the friend, starts talking, and completely ignores me! Not even a hello, nothing! Like I am completely invisible. Ok, I get it, he isn't interested and neither am I. But this is just plain rude! Another friend of mine told me he's used to have women crawling at his feet stroking his ego, and because I am not that type of woman and I didn't have that behaviour and I even stopped going to his classes, so it means I'm not even entitled to an hello! This is so ridiculous and rude! It just makes you wanna say to him something like "so you basically went through long stares, smiles and arranged coffees, to not even saying a hello!?" But I decided not to say anything really because that's what he deserves from me, nothing. So the friend said she was going to the locker room to get dressed and I took the opportunity and got up and said I'm gonna leave and just dashed. I wasn't going to sit down alone with him after he being so rude. Just wanted to vent and know your opinion really. I am shocked how some people can be so absurd like this. I'm glad nothing happened between us though and I can still go to the gym with my dignity intact and waiting to meet a nice man completely different from this stupidity. 1
Author miss2017 Posted September 30, 2016 Author Posted September 30, 2016 Why do you care? He is a douche. Next! This happened yesterday, so I guess I am still shocked how some people can be like this. Yes, next! 1
Buddhist Posted September 30, 2016 Posted September 30, 2016 Just another guy over-rating himself. Nothing to see here. Thought it would be something new and interesting. Had to do a drive by. 1
Fruitee Posted September 30, 2016 Posted September 30, 2016 This happened yesterday, so I guess I am still shocked how some people can be like this. Yes, next! This dude is from the amatour hour. But many people are idiots. Get used to it. Heh.
Erik30 Posted September 30, 2016 Posted September 30, 2016 Just another guy over-rating himself. Nothing to see here. Thought it would be something new and interesting. Had to do a drive by. Not trying to defend this guy but he's probably not even over-rating himself since the op liked him until they had that weird "date," and he started to ignore her. He might be one of those guys who is goodlooking and aware of it, (because of all the female attention) but has a sh**** 'personality. Some women will only care about his looks so he gets away with it at times. Wouldn't surprise me if he's only a fitness instructor so he can pick up girls at the gym. Seems like you dodged a bullet.
GemmaUK Posted September 30, 2016 Posted September 30, 2016 I know this was your vent but ...it was hilarious! Not on your part - on his entirely" Oh good grief! Why does your friend do this for him? Why?
metaltrees Posted September 30, 2016 Posted September 30, 2016 Don't get hung up on this guys behaviour. He can't even arrange a face to face meeting with you alone........that tells you how useless he is at basic romantic interpersonal interaction. I wouldn't expend your mental energy on this any further. Your time should be reserved for someone who's willing to step up and be a man.
Buddhist Posted September 30, 2016 Posted September 30, 2016 (edited) Not trying to defend this guy but he's probably not even over-rating himself since the op liked him until they had that weird "date," and he started to ignore her. I mean him acting like some kind of celebrity with a personal manager for screening his dates etc. I don't care who you are, no-one needs to act like this. Good looking guys are pretty common, finding one with a rare decent personality is the real jewel. He's over-rating himself because guys like him are common, sure he might get attention but who cares really only the needy fawn over that anyway. The OP didn't, she walked and he can't even make eye contact with her now because his ego is that fragile. Is he over-rating himself, yes. He's not the catch of the century. He needs someone so desperate for attention that they are willing to pander to this malarky to get it. The fact there are desperate people in the world doesn't make him hot stuff. Edited September 30, 2016 by Buddhist
Grey40 Posted September 30, 2016 Posted September 30, 2016 I'm a guy, this is super bizarre and pathetic. A man takes action, doesn't just walk around listening into conversations to learn about you. He should have asked you out and decided for himself. Sometimes people who are really attractive and fit are some of most insecure pathetic losers on the planet (goes for women as well). 1
Fruitee Posted October 1, 2016 Posted October 1, 2016 I'm a guy, this is super bizarre and pathetic. A man takes action, doesn't just walk around listening into conversations to learn about you. He should have asked you out and decided for himself. Sometimes people who are really attractive and fit are some of most insecure pathetic losers on the planet (goes for women as well). Hear hear!
smudge21 Posted October 1, 2016 Posted October 1, 2016 Trouble is, there'll be plenty of women who will fall for hsi "charms" so he keeps doing it. If only everyone had as much self respect as you did than this "players" wouldn't get a look in and the rest of us, the ones who treat people as we expect to be treated, would be a bit luckier in the dating game.
LookAtThisPOst Posted October 1, 2016 Posted October 1, 2016 I've met narcisistic and self centered guys before, but this one went beyond all scales. I'm glad I didn't even go out on a date with him because I would be losing precious time. Just want to share this story with you and get your feedback. So this guy is a fitness instructor at my gym and I started going to his classes and felt attracted to him. I could tell by his long stares and smiles that he felt the same. He is very attractive and has lots of women around him all the time. I actually found him a bit cocky and arrogant but wasn't sure if I was seeing it right... I was! So because we have a mutual friend that also goes to his classes he arranged a coffee meeting between us at the gym's coffee shop one day after one of his classes. So he basicaly sat there for an hour looking down at his phone and listening to our conversation... And she was asking me questions about if I'm single, how long, etc. And I noticed that these was all arranged so he could know what he wants about me without making any effort! I didn't like the situation and the way he arranged things, I felt uncomfortable and felt the situation wasn't fair on me. So I basically started losing interest on him after this and I started going less often to his classes until I completely stopped. And then one day I saw them at the coffee shop doing the same thing again (similar scenario) with a different girl! So last week I went to the coffee shop and that friend was there, she asked if I wanted to sit with her for a while and since it was just her, I did. So after about 10 minutes he comes into the coffee shop, goes to the friend, starts talking, and completely ignores me! Not even a hello, nothing! Like I am completely invisible. Ok, I get it, he isn't interested and neither am I. But this is just plain rude! Another friend of mine told me he's used to have women crawling at his feet stroking his ego, and because I am not that type of woman and I didn't have that behaviour and I even stopped going to his classes, so it means I'm not even entitled to an hello! This is so ridiculous and rude! It just makes you wanna say to him something like "so you basically went through long stares, smiles and arranged coffees, to not even saying a hello!?" But I decided not to say anything really because that's what he deserves from me, nothing. So the friend said she was going to the locker room to get dressed and I took the opportunity and got up and said I'm gonna leave and just dashed. I wasn't going to sit down alone with him after he being so rude. Just wanted to vent and know your opinion really. I am shocked how some people can be so absurd like this. I'm glad nothing happened between us though and I can still go to the gym with my dignity intact and waiting to meet a nice man completely different from this stupidity. This reminds me of a guy that has "female friend" that I personally think he wants to bang, but he told me they have this "understanding". Plus he already has a g/f. I met them both at a party, but she'd be off by herself socializing and other men would approach her, flirting of course. He's sitting with me, and he's bragging about how men swarm her, esp. when she's in a bikini with her nice boobs. Yes, talk is coming from a mid-30s man. I almost said, "Are you in high school?" Anyway, he was kind of acting like some kind weird liason, talking her up on how, "Look at how hot my friend is!!" baggart. He probably couldn't get squat from her, and now is some kind of male sidekick. lol This runs in parallel to this "female friend" that keeps setting this guy up with the other ladies in some weird, "third wheel" date.
LookAtThisPOst Posted October 1, 2016 Posted October 1, 2016 This woman friend of his is a pathetic woman woman, too. I'm surprised she's even trying to him any favors.
Arieswoman Posted October 1, 2016 Posted October 1, 2016 I think I've met the most ridiculous guy in the world! Errr, noooo, you haven't When I was divorced and dating/doing OLD I met so many nut jobs/fruitcakes/idiots/morons/oddballs that I could fill this thread with my experiences. Just move on and look for something better 1
Author miss2017 Posted October 1, 2016 Author Posted October 1, 2016 Thank you for all your replies! Well, actually about 10 years ago I was that type of woman that would fall head over heels with a guy like him. I would think that his inflated ego was a sign he is amazing. But, I was on my 20's at the time and I was naive and had low self-esteem. Today, am in my mid 30's and I am a whole woman that has a very healthy self-esteem and self-respect and can detect bull**** from afar. Also, I know that an inflated ego is a sign of narcisism and lack of respect to others and to me today that is a HUGE red flag. That's why after that coffee meeting I lost interest in him. It was a huge turn off for me. And I guess he felt it, hence his attitude. In regards to his friend, well she is that type of weak woman that thinks he is amazing. She is basically like a dog chasing him everywhere. And I think she doesn't really sees how he is. Well, I think I am going to back off from her too because I don't want to be in a situation like the last one. And YES I want a real man that steps up and puts his cards on the table. That's what a real turn on is!
Sunkissedpatio Posted October 1, 2016 Posted October 1, 2016 Those who think that arrogance is a sign of self-confidence couldn't be further from the truth. A truly confident person also has humility. That is the ultimate sign of comfort within your own skin. A little playful cockiness is sexy and good to see in a man. Arrogance on the other hand is someone who is banking all their chips on some external qualities they have they feel make them superior to the human race. There is nothing more unappealing than that. A guy who claims to let all women come to him is a lazy, shallow man that has nothing to offer a quality woman. Impressionable, and easily manipulated women will fall for that because they feel that being with someone who is outwardly appealing will elevate their own status in some way. Insecurity attracts insecurity. A quality guy isn't above trying to impress a woman just like a quality woman isn't above trying to impress the object of her desire. Healthy people look for ways to become more appealing to others in a holistic way because they allow others to bring the best they have to offer forward. What you described here is a man who is so infatuated with his exterior he is incapable of seeing women for anything more than an ego boost, his insides sound pretty rotten. Run for your life from something like this. That story of him getting some poor schmuck to assist him in getting to know someone while he ignores is really gross. What a disgraceful human being, no matter how big his muscles are.
Author miss2017 Posted October 2, 2016 Author Posted October 2, 2016 Those who think that arrogance is a sign of self-confidence couldn't be further from the truth. A truly confident person also has humility. That is the ultimate sign of comfort within your own skin. A little playful cockiness is sexy and good to see in a man. Arrogance on the other hand is someone who is banking all their chips on some external qualities they have they feel make them superior to the human race. There is nothing more unappealing than that. A guy who claims to let all women come to him is a lazy, shallow man that has nothing to offer a quality woman. Impressionable, and easily manipulated women will fall for that because they feel that being with someone who is outwardly appealing will elevate their own status in some way. Insecurity attracts insecurity. A quality guy isn't above trying to impress a woman just like a quality woman isn't above trying to impress the object of her desire. Healthy people look for ways to become more appealing to others in a holistic way because they allow others to bring the best they have to offer forward. What you described here is a man who is so infatuated with his exterior he is incapable of seeing women for anything more than an ego boost, his insides sound pretty rotten. Run for your life from something like this. That story of him getting some poor schmuck to assist him in getting to know someone while he ignores is really gross. What a disgraceful human being, no matter how big his muscles are. I did run after that coffee meeting he arranged! lol I remember seeing him at the gym with his ex-girlfriend. She was a fashion designer, blonde, looked like a living doll and seemed quite shallow to me. But, I guess that's what he likes, and I am completely not like that! But it seems that girl dumped him too. lol I remember one of the few things he said at that coffee meeting was that he has a 6% body fat in his body... no one asked anything about it, he just vomited this. Well, I guess the 6% fat must be located in the space inside his head where his brain should be if he had one. Yes a truly confident person has humility and is the complete opposite of this. I hope his friend wakes up and realises he's ridiculous and is just using her.
coolheadal Posted October 2, 2016 Posted October 2, 2016 You just tolerate his behavior and either you put up with it or not. This is no way to live and you know it. Why would you want a guy like this in your life. Get real and push him to one side. Now go find a real man that appreciates you for you and not the other way around!
Author miss2017 Posted October 2, 2016 Author Posted October 2, 2016 You just tolerate his behavior and either you put up with it or not. This is no way to live and you know it. Why would you want a guy like this in your life. Get real and push him to one side. Now go find a real man that appreciates you for you and not the other way around! He's been out since that coffee meeting he arranged before, where he didn't have the balls to talk to me and hide behind his friend.
Daisy-oliviaWentcher Posted October 2, 2016 Posted October 2, 2016 I think when a guy plays his old tricks, and it doesn't work on a woman with a healthy dose of self-esteem, I think men like the one you've mentioned, think " what a bitch" rather than " what a catch with a reasonable amount of self-respect'. I remember a guy like him, when he hung out with my friends, it was usually the woman ten years younger than him that he would always try to seduce anyone his age or older would put him in his place. He wouldn't like that, so he use to talk about how many "bitches" were in my friend group, when all it was, was that they were able to see through his facade. He took offense to their inability to fall for his charms. His ego was shattered from a few rejections at dinner. Goes to show how fragile some of these " arrogant" men are You dodged a bullet; I doubt he's going to change his tactics anytime soon.
Space Ritual Posted October 2, 2016 Posted October 2, 2016 So this guy is a fitness instructor at my gym .... LOL That was all anyone needed to actually read. None of what came after should surprise anyone. Look at it this way, OP....if you had taken the bait and dated him could you imagine just how much time you would have to spend arguing with him over getting time in front of a mirror? Had you as much as a pimple that guy would be admonishing you about washing your face the correct way. Just thank your lucky stars he showed you who he was at the outset so you didn't waste any time on him. Guys like that are more interested in getting conquests and moving on to the next one who looks good when they show up in his class, so it would have been short lived anyway 1
Sunkissedpatio Posted October 2, 2016 Posted October 2, 2016 I remember one of the few things he said at that coffee meeting was that he has a 6% body fat in his body... no one asked anything about it, he just vomited this. Well, I guess the 6% fat must be located in the space inside his head where his brain should be if he had one. He sounds disgusting. What in the world did you see in him to like him? Did't his arrogance shine through before "the coffee date?" He also sounds like he might be gay.
Author miss2017 Posted October 3, 2016 Author Posted October 3, 2016 He sounds disgusting. What in the world did you see in him to like him? Did't his arrogance shine through before "the coffee date?" He also sounds like he might be gay. I saw him once around little children and he looked like an amazing guy playing with them. He seemed arrogant to me before, but when I saw this I thought "hmmm, maybe he's a nice guy after all". Then I had that coffee meeting that showed me he is truly an as***le.
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