I need my husband to do more...

[tme0]

My mother forced my brother and I to clean. She was far more insistent with me because I am female and my mom is old fashioned. I'm glad someone taught me how to be neat because too many men and women these days are pigs.

 

I can't imagine why someone would spend thousands on a house and then not even take care of it! It took my husband and I years to save for our home. We lived in tiny apartments and made many sacrifices so I'll be damned if I'm going to let our biggest asset look awful. If a residence is rented, it belongs to someone else and only a very inconsiderate person would keep another person's house dirty.

 

You're a better man than most with respect to cleaning. I'm sorry to say that your wife sounds rather lazy and entitled. I know that seems insulting but I am being honest based on what you have shared. I apologize if you are offended.

 

I am the wife and this post is about my husband lol. But yes, I agree. A house is expensive and it needs to be taken care of. I know "old fashioned" ways were the woman tends to the inside and the man tends to the outside. Also not the case. I pull weeds, plant flowers, mulch ,trim shrubs, etc. For the reasons you said, I don't want our house to look unkept and like a pigpen.

 

Edit: I just realized you're replying to the gentleman who commented on my post. My apologies

[VeveCakes]

vevecakes post #11

 

 

 

:lmao:

 

That's the funniest thing I've read for about a week - kudos to you !

 

lol glad I made you smile

[TrustedthenBusted]

 

You're a better man than most with respect to cleaning. I'm sorry to say that your wife sounds rather lazy and entitled. I know that seems insulting but I am being honest based on what you have shared. I apologize if you are offended.

 

Not offended at all. Those are the exact terms I've used to describer her to her face. She works on it from time to time.

 

And about houses etc.... I think I've said on here before, she and I both do pretty well, and live in our dream house. She appreciates it, and all the compliments we get on it, but MAN, you should see her start cleaning when company is coming over!

 

I've asked her...why do you do this for the neighbors, and not for yourself?

[AMJ]

Trusted, this is like strike 6 against your wife.

 

What exactly DOES she do?

[BettyDraper]

Not offended at all. Those are the exact terms I've used to describer her to her face. She works on it from time to time.

 

And about houses etc.... I think I've said on here before, she and I both do pretty well, and live in our dream house. She appreciates it, and all the compliments we get on it, but MAN, you should see her start cleaning when company is coming over!

 

I've asked her...why do you do this for the neighbors, and not for yourself?

 

Glad you're not upset. Nobody likes to read negativity about their spouse even if it's true.

 

How nice that you live in your dream house! We live in a starter home now. Our next house will be the one we truly want and at least this is a step up from renting grungy apartments in the city. That doesn't mean that I don't keep our little house spotless. My husband is the breadwinner so I feel that taking care of our home is the least I can do. Of course, I've clearly been conditioned this way as well.

 

Your wife should care about what she and family think of her cleanliness level more than her neighbours. We keep to ourselves since we got close to our former neighbours on one side and we got burned by them. They just kept borrowing things with some sob stories and I felt sorry for their children.

[BettyDraper]

Unfortunately, the idea that a wife should work full time while doing all the housework and childrearing is very prevalent. Most women work harder than men. I also hate to see women who are supporting husbands who stay home with the kids when the husbands don't even cook or clean.

 

I feel blessed to be at home because my only worries are the household and volunteer work. I have dived into my housewife role with the same gusto that I approached my career with. My husband deserves a traditional wife if he is willing to take care of all financial concerns.

Edited September 30, 2016 by BettyDraper

[NTV]

. Most women work harder than men. .

 

And here i thought I was good at spouting bull crap and making it sound believable lol. I bow to your skills!!

 

-------------

 

Op, what you are facing sounds like he's using video games as a form of escapism. The question 8 what 8 he escaping from?

 

I know when I was 26 yrs old I went through a period like that (age 24) where I was coming to terms with my new life as an adult family man. I was always woefully unprepared for my wife to use nagging as a form of communication. Especially to me as nagging came across as a verbal assault that I felt I had no defense for.

 

Not to say you're nagging just giving you my history.

 

I would suggest simultaneously addressing that escapism while cutting back on the chores you do on his behalf. Like laundry.

[tme0]

And here i thought I was good at spouting bull crap and making it sound believable lol. I bow to your skills!!

 

-------------

 

Op, what you are facing sounds like he's using video games as a form of escapism. The question 8 what 8 he escaping from?

 

I know when I was 26 yrs old I went through a period like that (age 24) where I was coming to terms with my new life as an adult family man. I was always woefully unprepared for my wife to use nagging as a form of communication. Especially to me as nagging came across as a verbal assault that I felt I had no defense for.

 

Not to say you're nagging just giving you my history.

 

I would suggest simultaneously addressing that escapism while cutting back on the chores you do on his behalf. Like laundry.

 

I don't nag. He'll be the first one to say that I don't. I'm hyperaware of making sure I don't nag, because I saw what that was like with my parents and how that never made anything better.

 

I try to let the little things be and not make a big deal about them. Like right now there's socks under the coffee table. I hate that. But it's not a huge deal so I didn't say anything about it.

 

But yeah, I hadn't thought about it being an escape thing. Right now he is looking for a new job because his job is moving out of state in December, so I know that is stressful. We're putting having children on hold until after he gets a job, so that probably adds stress too, because we both really want to begin a family.

I don't know for sure if those are reasons for needing an escape (if that is what is going on here) those just would be my guesses.

[basil67]

Put having children on hold permanently until you get this sorted out. This man is far too selfish to be any kind of a decent father.

 

Assuming he won't change, is this truly a marriage worth staying in?

[BettyDraper]

And here i thought I was good at spouting bull crap and making it sound believable lol. I bow to your skills!!

 

-------------

 

Op, what you are facing sounds like he's using video games as a form of escapism. The question 8 what 8 he escaping from?

 

I know when I was 26 yrs old I went through a period like that (age 24) where I was coming to terms with my new life as an adult family man. I was always woefully unprepared for my wife to use nagging as a form of communication. Especially to me as nagging came across as a verbal assault that I felt I had no defense for.

 

Not to say you're nagging just giving you my history.

 

I would suggest simultaneously addressing that escapism while cutting back on the chores you do on his behalf. Like laundry.

 

You just proved that there was truth to my statement by sharing your history of "escapism".

 

If you were trying to escape from your new responsibilities, then obviously your wife was taking up the slack, especially if she had to nag you to do your part.

 

I'll say it again: Women bear the brunt of childrearing and household responsibilities in most cases. Society to have thriving careers, spotless homes, well adjusted children and gourmet dinners on the table. Men are expected to earn an income but nobody blames men when their houses are dirty, there's no dinner on the table and the kids are practically feral.

[NTV]

You just proved that there was truth to my statement by sharing your history of "escapism".

 

If you were trying to escape from your new responsibilities, then obviously your wife was taking up the slack, especially if she had to nag you to do your part.

 

I'll say it again: Women bear the brunt of childrearing and household responsibilities in most cases. Society to have thriving careers, spotless homes, well adjusted children and gourmet dinners on the table. Men are expected to earn an income but nobody blames men when their houses are dirty, there's no dinner on the table and the kids are practically feral.

Except their wives lol

[BettyDraper]

You just proved that there was truth to my statement by sharing your history of "escapism".

 

If you were trying to escape from your new responsibilities, then obviously your wife was taking up the slack, especially if she had to nag you to do your part.

 

I'll say it again: Women bear the brunt of childrearing and household responsibilities in most cases. Society to have thriving careers, spotless homes, well adjusted children and gourmet dinners on the table. Men are expected to earn an income but nobody blames men when their houses are dirty, there's no dinner on the table and the kids are practically feral.

 

I meant: "Society expects women to have thriving careers, spotless homes, well adjusted children and gourmet dinners on the table."

[NTV]

Not sure that's completely true. Also, I think--since we're speaking in generalities here--that women are more likely to be sensitive to those social pressures but the social pressure exists for all. Being a responsible parent at the same time as maintaining a orderly house and working full time job are social pressures everyone feels.

 

But if you're looking at social expectations in general, men are less likely to adhere. For example, bikers, criminals, drug users, etc are all disproportionately male.

 

But saying women work harder than men? I don't think that holds true. Sure it might feel like that to some but it also probably feels like that to a lot of men too. I'll give you your example appears true but I can come up with several that supports the other side... for example how many women do you say 'well... she worked herself to death' about?

 

Either way... That statistic would be very hard to measure outside of a purely production environment.

 

-----------

 

Op, sorry for side tracking your thread with this debate. Something I wanted to add is that in my advice I assumed you had kids. Without kids, I don't see how there could be that much dirty stuff in the house. Kids are tiny essentially mess creation tornadoes. I literally clean up the same stuff almost every day. But also without kids I don't know that I would have taken my career as serious as I do or worked nearly as hard at having a nice place and keeping it as clean as I do. I know after my escapism stint I did way more than my fair share of child rearing and household chores.

 

So it's possible he'll react well to that, BUT that may be something you want to address sooner than later. I know for the early part of my marriage my wife didn't think I cleaned well enough to her standards. It took her a minute to realize that I actually clean better than her just am less motivated because it takes longer. For example if the counter is dirty and cluttered, I would put everything back where it was supposed to go and then deep clean it. Like an hour investment nowadays considering size of house and 3 kids. She'd be done in 20 mind but she'd just shove everything in a drawer and wipe it down. The difference between the appearance of clean and actually cleaned and organized.

I also made the mistake of letting her continue to tell me ongoingly that she cleans better than me. I thought it was me just letting her win an argument because that particular title meant more to her than to me. But after a while it started to breed resentment in her and annoyance in me. I ended up not organizing one drawer she would shove crappie in for like a year and then showed her she was full of it. Lol. I don't know if either of these apply to your situation but if you're wanting a male perspective sanity check then you could run how your husband operates against either of those. If the shoe fits then hey, and if not then he's just being lazy.

 

Course you're not giving us what your expected chores and chore time investment is. I know if my wife expected me to come home from work to do 4 hours of chores everyday after work then I would tell her to stuff it and play video games. 1 hour? Np. If she's doing some too.

[Els]

I think the housework is the secondary issue here - you guys don't spend any time together at all and he doesn't seem to want to make even the slightest effort to do so, which is very worrisome. Doubly so when he knows what it means to you. If a couple has kids or polar opposite shifts or such, then I could understand them not getting much quality time together. But a child free couple with 9-5 jobs? I can't see any good reasons for lack of quality time at all. Frankly, if it's this bad now, imagine how it will be with kids?

 

I don't see any easy solutions here. Yes maybe if you go on strike etc he would pick up some of the slack...but to what end? You'll still be essentially roommates who do separate things ALL the time, just living under one roof.

 

Did he used to take you on dates when you were dating?

Edited October 2, 2016 by Elswyth

[BaileyB]

I would definitely agree that he is escaping life's responsibilities. Especially knowing that he has serious job stress, I would guess that he's having a hard time right now and this is his escape. Either that, or he's very lazy and checked out of the relationship.

 

You definitely need to have a better division of labour before you have children. Your resentment will only get worse if you have children with a man who assumes you will do the work and does not help. And, he will likely want to escape the pressures of life even more when you have children.

 

Something needs to change in your relationship. You don't want to be married to a boy who expects you to do all the heavy lifting while he plays his video games. You want a partner, not a roommate.

[Gr8fuln2020]

I know a few people who, believe or not, have been diagnosed with video game addictions. I'm not suggesting that this guy is one, an addict, but it certainly serves as a powerful, psychological escaope for so many people today. Some of the same biochemicals that are involved in addiction, pleasure, etc. also occur with video playing. Anyway, was he always a gamer? If so, you married someone who priorities are often entangled and at odds with the real world.

 

He uses gaming to escape stress, work, YOU.....he may also be depressed.

[BettyDraper]

I know a few people who, believe or not, have been diagnosed with video game addictions. I'm not suggesting that this guy is one, an addict, but it certainly serves as a powerful, psychological escaope for so many people today. Some of the same biochemicals that are involved in addiction, pleasure, etc. also occur with video playing. Anyway, was he always a gamer? If so, you married someone who priorities are often entangled and at odds with the real world.

 

He uses gaming to escape stress, work, YOU.....he may also be depressed.

 

 

Any kind of addiction is about escaping from reality and unpleasant feelings. I agree with you.

Edited October 2, 2016 by BettyDraper

[elaine567]

#16 - He grew up in a very messy house. There is a path you have to walk through in his parents' house. You can't eat at the dining table, you can't even open the guest room door because it's just stuffed with things. We were over a couple weeks ago and it's just getting worse. We were there for maybe 30 minutes and the entire time I couldn't wait to leave. I love his parents but just being in that environment was giving me anxiety.

He grew up like that and then when he moved out, he wasn't much of a cleaner. I remember not too long after we started dating I went to use his bathroom and the toilet was black inside. Completely black. I didn't know it was possible to get like that. Even as messy as he was, it was nowhere near the way his parent's house is.

#1 - Newlywed and husband has no sex drive anymore

He'd tell me it was because his job (he worked crazy long hour)...he got a steady 8-5 job..nothing changed.

He'd tell me it was because sometimes he would get in the mood but remember he'd have to go all the way to the room to get a condom, so it dampened the mood and he'd just forget about it... I have been on birth control for awhile now...still no changes.

He'd tell me I wouldn't tell him what's bothering me sometimes, and that he felt distanced from me so that caused him not to want to...I tell him everything on my mind now and then some...still nothing.

He'd tell me I'd come on to him at the wrong times, so I asked him when does he feel in the mood?... I come on to him then....still no.

 

So basically, I call bs on every 'excuse' he's given me.

 

Now we've been married a couple months. On our honeymoon...the old him was back. He was insatiable. He wanted it all the time. It was amazing. Full of passion just like in the beginning. We get back and........gone back to how it was.....

 

This really bothers me and I've talked to him about it so many times. It's gotten tot he point where I don't care to initiate anymore. I know it's probably going to be a no. Pretty much whenever he says no, I tear up. I try to get up and go to another room so he doesn't see...but he does sometimes. He says he doesn't like how it upsets me so much, that I appear "desperate" for sex. I am in no way shape or form desperate for sex. It's not even the sex I want. It's the intimacy and the connection with my husband. Whenever I think about initiating, I get really antsy and panicky that he's going to say no... and whenw e do have sex I don't fully enjoy it because I'm worried he's only doing it because it's been awhile and he's said no the past few times

When he gets home from work, he goes straight to the xbox and plays until it is time for bed (he stays up later than he should, which makes it impossible for him to get up the next morning. 9 days out of 10, I have to wake him up (sometimes several times) before he will get up for work.

 

 

As you can tell from my post, we don't spend much time together. He considers his gaming to be us spending time together, because after I am done cooking and cleaning, I sit by him on the couch and watch Netflix on my laptop, so that counts as us spending time together (he literally says that). If I suggest us going out, he makes a face and sighs and doesn't want to. I recently suggested us going away for the weekend (I really need it) and he asked why, when every weekend is like a vacation. Yeah, for him maybe when all he does all weekend is game. All I do on the weekend is work and catch up on housework I didn't have time to do during the week.

 

 

And why exactly are you still hanging around?

[Lois_Griffin]

We're putting having children on hold until after he gets a job, so that probably adds stress too, because we both really want to begin a family.

Of course he does, because he fully expects YOU to do 100% of the child rearing - while still working a full time job and doing all the work at home, as well.

 

Quite honestly, I wouldn't even get a goldfish with someone like this, much less have kids with him. You're just going to put even MORE work on your shoulders while he lays around feeling completely self entitled to do absolutely NOTHING.

[lucy_in_disguise]

I don't think the chores are the biggest issue here. Your husband is so thick-headed that he has no concept of what makes a good partner, nor any clue why you're unhappy. It's like he's not hearing you at all.

 

Have you guys tried therapy? You need some way to engage his full attention and figure out if your long-term goals and vision for the future are compatible. Because the way you describe your relationship as it currently stands, it doesn't sound sustainable.

 

If you are able to have this discussion and re-affirm that you do in fact want the same things - including spending quality time together and sharing in household obligations so you can live in relative cleanliness- then I think you will need to address the excessive video gaming. Personally, it sounds like an addiction. The Xbox has his whole attention and at the moment he doesn't seem to think this is a problem. He may need to go cold-turkey for a while to get this under control. But I think you need to be honest and make it clear that there is a limit when it comes to his gaming. That spending all his free time playing xbox, to the point where you are not spending time as a couple and he is ignoring his work and personal responsibilities, is a deal breaker. If you can agree on some explicit limitations on the gaming, I think things would improve.

 

Re the division of household labor, I think there are a few factors that make it a challenging situation, but with compromise on both your parts, I think it's something you can overcome. First, you are unfortunately coming at this from opposite ends of the spectrum. You are a self-admitted neat freak; he grew up in a house that sounds like it could have been featured on "hoarders". As a result, you have different expectations, and in all likelihood he is does not have the skills and habits worked out like you do. To that extent, I think you will need to lessen your standards, at least temporarily while he builds up his habits and skills. Like with the gaming, you need to get him to hear that doing nothing is a deal breaker. After that, don't do his chores. It may take a while for him to notice, and he may not end up doing them up to your standards, but this is important - don't do them for him. He may wash 2 articles of clothing at a time for a few months, but eventually he'll figure out there is a better way. You will need to be patient to give him time to learn.

 

The other factor you may need to address is your priorities- as a couple. If having a very clean house is important to you- maybe you should hire a maid, or work less hours. I'm not saying you should quit your job to clean while your husband plays xbox, but at the end of the day, between the two of you you have a limited amount of time, and no one can have it all and accomplish it all. Decide what is most important to you as a family, and focus your time and resources there. Maybe it's quality time and progressing your careers. If so, recognize that the house may not always be spotless, or you may need to pay someone else to clean it. Knowing your priorities will make it easier to let the little things slide.

[lucy_in_disguise]

I also wanted to add- I'm about the same age as you, and my partner and I also both work full time and have no kids. I cannot imagine needing to spend an entire weekend doing chores that I didn't have time to do during the week. We have a cleaning lady who comes twice and month and without kids, that leaves only basic things like putting the dishes in the dishwasher for us to do between visits. If you are spending a lot of time doing chores- perhaps you should re-evaluate whether everything you are doing is really necessary, whether some of it can be outsourced, or whether paring down your lifestyle and possessions may be helpful. Living in a clean home is great but there are different paths to getting there. Life's too short to spend all your time cleaning, so I suggest picking an easier route.

Edited October 3, 2016 by lucy_in_disguise

[tme0]

Sorry I've been kind of mia the past few days. I'm going to try to reply to everyone.

 

Elaine: I forgot about that post you quoted. The sex has changed. I'm not sure why or how or when but for the better part of the last year at least, it hasn't been an issue for either of us.

 

We've not tried therapy, I've thought about it. I can't bring myself to tell him I think we need it. I feel like a failure if I need marriage counseling a year into marriage. I know that is silly.

 

Someone said about taking a whole weekend to do chores. No. All I expect is vacuum our room and the couch, sweep the hardwood, clean the toilet and sink and 1 load of laundry. The times we have done that together, we are done in about an hour. When I do it by myself it takes longer because I start then stop to take laundry out of washer, start again, stop to make lunch, then i have to clean up the kitchen, etc. so it takes longer.

Daily all I expect is him to put his clothes in the hamper and the dinner dishes get into the dishwasher.

 

Last night his mom came over and I cooked dinner. After we ate I went to the bathroom and when I came back he and his mom were cleaning up (i only saw her, but she insists he helped). He'll clean up the dinner dishes immediately, when we have company. Same thing when we go to someone's birthday party or go to someone's house for Thanksgiving or something. He'll stay after to clean. I'm like, why can't you be this eager at home lol

 

I'm not sure if I have already said this, but I'll say it again in case I didn't. As for the not spending much time together issue, his idea to resolve it is to buy a 2nd xbox (where I chip in half) so that we can play together and therefore spend time together. Great if I enjoyed games. There are a couple games I do enjoy. But after playing 1 or 2 I get bored and stop. He can (and has) played games ALL Day. like wake up, walk to couch, play until bed time without getting up once.

I tell him that is not going to help any. It might help for a week or 2 but then I'm going to lose interest in the games and stop, and we'll be right back where we started.

 

I like to do puzzles. I did one a few weeks ago. I asked him everyday if he wanted to help me a little. He finally did when I was almost done, then after, said it was horrible and never ask him to do a puzzle again. I feel the same about video games but that is completely different thing because it is something he likes so therefore i should like it too i guess.

 

Someone asked if he took me on dates when we were dating. Yes! Weekly. We had so much fun while we were dating. We went to the beach, to the movies, to dinner, ice cream, walks downtown, we went to concerts, we went to Georgia for the Coke Factory and Aquarium, North Carolina for Biltmore House, we did so many things. Now, I can't get him to stop at the grocery store on our way home for 5 minutes. I bring this up to him, about how we used to do such fun stuff and now we're an "old married couple" and his answer is "well that was because we were dating. you can't expect it to remain that way for the rest of our lives. You lived with your parents so I had to take you out to be able to spend time alone with you. now we are married and i see you everyday, we don't have to go out some place in order to spend time together" Our dating life was so so fun and it was like a light switch when we got married. Went from fun to nothing. My parents go out and do more stuff together than we do...

 

His new thing he started yesterday was asking me about why I am buying "so many" movies on Amazon. (I bought 2.) I use his Amazon account because he has Prime, so free shipping on everything. It is silly for me to pay the $100 to get my own prime account, when he has it (and doesn't even use it)

Then this morning he texted me when he got to work and asked why I bought a puzzle and calendar. My friend's birthday is tomorrow and I sent it to her... anyways, I've been using his amazon for 2 years and he's never said anything before but now all of a sudden he is questioning everything I buy.

Also, I received a package at home last night, and when I got home from work, he had opened it and gone through it with his mom. that infuriated me. It was mostly Christmas gifts so there he went and showed her all of that. He didn't used to, but lately he opens my mail and packages and every time I will tell him to not do that, that I don't open his stuff. but that doesn't matter and next time i get something it is opened already.

 

I'm not sure if by this point I'm just "getting annoyed for the sake of getting annoyed" for lack of a better phrase, but it's exhausting.

Edited October 4, 2016 by tme0

[Cinnamonstix]

Sorry I've been kind of mia the past few days. I'm going to try to reply to everyone.

 

Elaine: I forgot about that post you quoted. The sex has changed. I'm not sure why or how or when but for the better part of the last year at least, it hasn't been an issue for either of us.

 

We've not tried therapy, I've thought about it. I can't bring myself to tell him I think we need it. I feel like a failure if I need marriage counseling a year into marriage. I know that is silly.

 

Someone said about taking a whole weekend to do chores. No. All I expect is vacuum our room and the couch, sweep the hardwood, clean the toilet and sink and 1 load of laundry. The times we have done that together, we are done in about an hour. When I do it by myself it takes longer because I start then stop to take laundry out of washer, start again, stop to make lunch, then i have to clean up the kitchen, etc. so it takes longer.

Daily all I expect is him to put his clothes in the hamper and the dinner dishes get into the dishwasher.

 

Last night his mom came over and I cooked dinner. After we ate I went to the bathroom and when I came back he and his mom were cleaning up (i only saw her, but she insists he helped). He'll clean up the dinner dishes immediately, when we have company. Same thing when we go to someone's birthday party or go to someone's house for Thanksgiving or something. He'll stay after to clean. I'm like, why can't you be this eager at home lol

 

I'm not sure if I have already said this, but I'll say it again in case I didn't. As for the not spending much time together issue, his idea to resolve it is to buy a 2nd xbox (where I chip in half) so that we can play together and therefore spend time together. Great if I enjoyed games. There are a couple games I do enjoy. But after playing 1 or 2 I get bored and stop. He can (and has) played games ALL Day. like wake up, walk to couch, play until bed time without getting up once.

I tell him that is not going to help any. It might help for a week or 2 but then I'm going to lose interest in the games and stop, and we'll be right back where we started.

 

I like to do puzzles. I did one a few weeks ago. I asked him everyday if he wanted to help me a little. He finally did when I was almost done, then after, said it was horrible and never ask him to do a puzzle again. I feel the same about video games but that is completely different thing because it is something he likes so therefore i should like it too i guess.

 

Someone asked if he took me on dates when we were dating. Yes! Weekly. We had so much fun while we were dating. We went to the beach, to the movies, to dinner, ice cream, walks downtown, we went to concerts, we went to Georgia for the Coke Factory and Aquarium, North Carolina for Biltmore House, we did so many things. Now, I can't get him to stop at the grocery store on our way home for 5 minutes. I bring this up to him, about how we used to do such fun stuff and now we're an "old married couple" and his answer is "well that was because we were dating. you can't expect it to remain that way for the rest of our lives. You lived with your parents so I had to take you out to be able to spend time alone with you. now we are married and i see you everyday, we don't have to go out some place in order to spend time together" Our dating life was so so fun and it was like a light switch when we got married. Went from fun to nothing. My parents go out and do more stuff together than we do...

 

His new thing he started yesterday was asking me about why I am buying "so many" movies on Amazon. (I bought 2.) I use his Amazon account because he has Prime, so free shipping on everything. It is silly for me to pay the $100 to get my own prime account, when he has it (and doesn't even use it)

Then this morning he texted me when he got to work and asked why I bought a puzzle and calendar. My friend's birthday is tomorrow and I sent it to her... anyways, I've been using his amazon for 2 years and he's never said anything before but now all of a sudden he is questioning everything I buy.

Also, I received a package at home last night, and when I got home from work, he had opened it and gone through it with his mom. that infuriated me. It was mostly Christmas gifts so there he went and showed her all of that. He didn't used to, but lately he opens my mail and packages and every time I will tell him to not do that, that I don't open his stuff. but that doesn't matter and next time i get something it is opened already.

 

I'm not sure if by this point I'm just "getting annoyed for the sake of getting annoyed" for lack of a better phrase, but it's exhausting.

 

Uh no. Your husband is annoying. Very annoying. I hope you can see that he continually disrespects you with the mail opening, not doing his share of the housework, and not putting effort into your relationship. He helps out when others are around to keep up appearances and seem like a great guy, but who he really is is the slob at home who doesn't give two ****s about your happiness.

[tme0]

Uh no. Your husband is annoying. Very annoying. I hope you can see that he continually disrespects you with the mail opening, not doing his share of the housework, and not putting effort into your relationship. He helps out when others are around to keep up appearances and seem like a great guy, but who he really is is the slob at home who doesn't give two ****s about your happiness.

 

I've told him he's annoying, he laughs and says thank you. I'm guessing he thinks I'm joking. I'm not. I was at a tea party his mom threw for the ladies in the family and I think it was her sister told me that I'm lucky because my husband helps with chores (because she sees him helping clean after family events)

I smiled, awkwardly chuckled and took a sip of water and went on my way.

[Cinnamonstix]

I've told him he's annoying, he laughs and says thank you. I'm guessing he thinks I'm joking. I'm not. I was at a tea party his mom threw for the ladies in the family and I think it was her sister told me that I'm lucky because my husband helps with chores (because she sees him helping clean after family events)

I smiled, awkwardly chuckled and took a sip of water and went on my way.

 

Lol. Certainly was one of those "if they only knew" moments.