Not broken up yet, but scared for possibility.

[Toodaloo]

Right so let me simplify this down.

 

You have been together near on two years.

You are adults.

After 2 years you still do not communicate well.

He gets angry and fed up with you on a regular basis.

You get clingy and insecure on a regular basis.

 

But that is OK because you want it to work out... no you really really do want it to work out... Because well he is your boyfriend and all and thats what people do isn't it and then if you break up it could be all your fault and oh my the anxiety is rising again...

 

Its simple.

 

The pair of you are not compatible. You drive each other insane and will continue to do so while you continue in this relationship...

 

Split up. Work on your anger and anxiety issues separately. Done.

[aloneinaz]

I wasn't speaking directly at your Marky with the comment of low self esteem. I was speaking in terms that a high percentage of posters on this site suffer from it. If you polled the long term contributors who come on this site to help, I'd have no doubt that they'd agree.

 

The comment isn't meant to disparage anyone. It's meant that if the dumpers identified that was an underlying problem in NOT LETTING go, it would in fact help them address it and move on. EVERYONE in their lives have periods of low self esteem and confidence. No one is immune. Some suffer from it worse than others.

 

I've lost count of how many people that got dumped and then identified that they had low self esteem, which kept them from ending a bad relationship. They feared that wouldn't be able to find anyone else.

 

At the end of the day, the people who suffer the least from the ending of a relationship are the ones who cut all contact immediately from the dumper. Blocking them, changing their phone numbers, etc.. They understood that clinging to hope while engaging in limited contact only worsened their situation. They also understand the reconciliations rarely last unless in a movie.

 

I'm rambling but, just simply notice this trend on this forum. How many people post who are suffering and hurting while continuing to contact the dumper or having limited contact w/them? It's a pretty high percentage.

[marky00]

Actually, marky, I think you're a great example of what aloneinaz is talking about.

 

? wtf. honestly mate, sick to death of your comments.

 

I have just initiated NC with you. Don't reply to my posts again. You have just been DUMPED

[marky00]

I wasn't speaking directly at your Marky with the comment of low self esteem. I was speaking in terms that a high percentage of posters on this site suffer from it. If you polled the long term contributors who come on this site to help, I'd have no doubt that they'd agree.

 

The comment isn't meant to disparage anyone. It's meant that if the dumpers identified that was an underlying problem in NOT LETTING go, it would in fact help them address it and move on. EVERYONE in their lives have periods of low self esteem and confidence. No one is immune. Some suffer from it worse than others.

 

I've lost count of how many people that got dumped and then identified that they had low self esteem, which kept them from ending a bad relationship. They feared that wouldn't be able to find anyone else.

 

At the end of the day, the people who suffer the least from the ending of a relationship are the ones who cut all contact immediately from the dumper. Blocking them, changing their phone numbers, etc.. They understood that clinging to hope while engaging in limited contact only worsened their situation. They also understand the reconciliations rarely last unless in a movie.

 

I'm rambling but, just simply notice this trend on this forum. How many people post who are suffering and hurting while continuing to contact the dumper or having limited contact w/them? It's a pretty high percentage.

 

Fair enough.

 

In my case it wasn't low self-esteem. It was like my 4th or 5th serious relationship and to be honest i reached a stage where I wasn't sure if I could go through the whole break-up, move-on and re-build and re-invest again. And because I invested so much in this last one, those feelings were even stronger.

 

Regarding not going straight into NC, my reasons were mainly that I had been in a rut and against my natural self, I wasn't contacting her much towards the end of the relationship, probably because I didn't want to impose my stress upon her. So, my contact was simply to show I cared because to be honest if I didn't do that, she may have thought I didn't. I do agree that if that process continues, your self-esteem will suffer but because of the way I was blind-sided it was the only way I could confirm to her that I did care.

[Blanco]

? wtf. honestly mate, sick to death of your comments.

 

I have just initiated NC with you. Don't reply to my posts again. You have just been DUMPED

 

edit: not worth it