Mateguarding - When does it end? [update: What to make of this?]

[LexiCat29]

I don't understand. Why are you punishing your daughters for your wife's bad behavior? What have they done wrong here?

[howtoproceed]

I guess finally manning up and growing a pair has changed how I perceive things. Like, I find this statement really pathetic.

 

I don't understand. Why are you punishing your daughters for your wife's bad behavior? What have they done wrong here?

 

What don't you understand?

What makes you think I'm punishing my daughters?

What makes you think my 6 and 8 year old daughters have done anything wrong?

[Noirek]

I guess finally manning up and growing a pair has changed how I perceive things. Like, I find this statement really pathetic.

 

 

 

What don't you understand?

What makes you think I'm punishing my daughters?

What makes you think my 6 and 8 year old daughters have done anything wrong?

 

I think because mainy fathers have a close daily relationship with their children. They hate when it gets cut in half with divorce but are still there as much as possible. The children always have daddy close and see him often in flesh. Hug him and have him come to all the important events in their lives. To see a dad throw that away because he isn't man enough to stay close to them can look like in punishment to others. I know you are convinced you aren't hurting them but I don't think you are seeing your value as a father.

 

And all the stories of your wife. I mean making your kids lie???! That is pretty evil. And if you don't like that word. That is not a wonderful mom.

[Noirek]

I guess finally manning up and growing a pair has changed how I perceive things. Like, I find this statement really pathetic.

 

 

 

What don't you understand?

What makes you think I'm punishing my daughters?

What makes you think my 6 and 8 year old daughters have done anything wrong?

 

Okay I had a laugh. You must be just having fun with people. There is no way any normal human being things running away to the otherside of the world and leaving their children behind because their wife cheated and didn't want to reconcile "growing a pair". Running away is like the opposite of that.

[Mz. Pixie]

Personal attacks are always the last resort of someone without a better argument.

[Mz. Pixie]

I don't understand. Why are you punishing your daughters for your wife's bad behavior? What have they done wrong here?

 

The reason he's replying to your post the way he did is that yes. He's indirectly doing all of this but he doesn't want anyone to tell him that.

 

He wants to pis* on us and tell us it's raining.

[dreamingoftigers]

What an idiotic comment.

 

I go though all the trouble of finding a lawyer and you defer to a link from a person named Madjack.

 

Let me put it like this: the courts can go fcku themselves - I'm not staying in a house while I wife cheats - not for children, not for assets, not for anything.

 

I'm sure the courts give a damn.

 

Whether or not you think I deferred to the link, I don't care. My point to you was that your attorney might not be Johnny Cochrane or F Lee Bailey.

 

If you review other people's separations and divorces that a whole new tank of sharks to watch out for.

 

You're welcome.

[dreamingoftigers]

I actually know someone IRL that had liberal visitation for a child in another state. He was unemployed for a bit and didn't visit for a year. The birth mother had his custody revoked as child abandonment. He is stil required to pay support and a huge amount.

 

Much less another country. It happens.

 

I've learned as a general rule to cover your a** and document the Hell out of everything.

 

The courts can have a very negative opinion unless you are backed up to the hilt.

 

I would even do anything minor that was a risk for looking bad regarding custody.

 

You can bet the wife in this case is documenting the Hell out of everything. She doesn't even like the guy. She won't likely agree to his visitation requests, even just out of spite.

 

Look at the birthday party incident. If he has any text messages or emails that show him being nasty at all, coupled with him leaving the country. Pffft. It would be pretty much over.

[dreamingoftigers]

Noirek strings together drivel like this to make an argument:

 

 

 

His point is, like the woman who left her kids with friends, my kids will be messed up adults.

 

I'm leaving my kids with their adoring mom that they love and cherish, in a beautiful house and in a beautiful and safe neighborhood with great schools. A house we bought post-DDay by the way. I left them something like the American Dream but with a single mom point of view cause yes, she will be the custodial parent and she'll do fine.

 

I can even argue that I supported my wayward wife for at least 6 mnths past DDay so she could get her nursing degree.

 

If they turn into messed up adults, don't blame me.

 

"Don't blame me, I wasn't even there."

 

Do yourself a favor and look up Wallerstein. Read the actual accounts.

 

If you aren't missing your children by now, that's really something.

 

Because they are probably missing you.

 

I haven't seen you mention how they might be feeling NOW. I couldn't imagine how much my kids would be hurting if I took off for a week, much less months.

 

I did have to take a six-week venture for work years ago and I made sure she and I talked every night. And it was still hard on her. My son is only 7 months old and he already misses me when I'm working

[William]

Folks, thanks for your participation and responses. The thread starter cooked their own goose so we'll call this one done and move on.