Pre-Nup & Post-Nup .

[NTV]

Yeah my postnup didn't relate to knowing if I had the truth. There were so many lies I think she even at one point forgot what the truth was.

 

Also it wasn't set up to take advantage of her. We, through our attorneys, went back and forth several times over the contract. It wasn't a set it on the table and she sign or get out type of demand. We already had attorneys for the ongoing divorce. You assume that she was a stay at home mom and after college she was due to her own desire to have extra time to spend literally thousands of dollars on an expansive wardrobe and cheat. So no, in our circumstances I didn't feel she made a whole lot of sacrifice being a sahm. Not that there aren't women who do. My own mom did. But that I don't see her service as credible when she was spending the entire spendable income on her clothes and I was eating can soup everyday for lunch at work because we 'had no money'. And the kids were being ignored in favor of hours surfing the internet for the next deal on purses shoes etc.

 

Could a judge set it aside? Sure but where I keep my copy I keep all the emails related to the back and forth nitpicking terminology clauses etc, the older versions of the document, and the copies of affair - related emails she had with ap 1 & 2. It would be hard to argue any duress coercion etc that impact the legitimacy of these contracts in our state. And the state signed determines the applicable laws.

 

Now a couple folks say that if you need one of the you might as well get a divorce. And I would agree 100% if I didn't have kids. Instead I want to be able to tell the kids when they are older that I did everything I could do to try without sacrificing my self respect to try if it fails OR to totally pretend her affair and the postnup didn't exist if it works out. Which is why I don't care if someone else thinks it's pathetic. I don't see myself as weak for wanting to see my kids everyday. And all offerings of reconciliation have strings and conditions to them. Just because this one is in plain sight doesn't make it any different than any of the others.

 

It is really virtually impossible to cover all the factors and nuances of the circumstances, environment, relationship, history, etc that goes into a decision like this in a 4-5 paragraph post talking to strangers on the internet. It seems like a lot of responses are geared towards dismissing the idea. I am here to say that it so far has worked for me in my relationship. We haven't gone through a divorce afterwards to know if it will be set aside or used. But postnups aren't Bigfoot. The do exist. If you look at Google scholar to research the current legal environment and appeals results for your state you'll be more likely to know if it is feasible in the worst case scenario for you. Again it isn't for building trust and isn't for a long term divorce plan.

[Mrs. John Adams]

Yeah my postnup didn't relate to knowing if I had the truth. There were so many lies I think she even at one point forgot what the truth was.

 

Also it wasn't set up to take advantage of her. We, through our attorneys, went back and forth several times over the contract. It wasn't a set it on the table and she sign or get out type of demand. We already had attorneys for the ongoing divorce. You assume that she was a stay at home mom and after college she was due to her own desire to have extra time to spend literally thousands of dollars on an expansive wardrobe and cheat. So no, in our circumstances I didn't feel she made a whole lot of sacrifice being a sahm. Not that there aren't women who do. My own mom did. But that I don't see her service as credible when she was spending the entire spendable income on her clothes and I was eating can soup everyday for lunch at work because we 'had no money'. And the kids were being ignored in favor of hours surfing the internet for the next deal on purses shoes etc.

 

Could a judge set it aside? Sure but where I keep my copy I keep all the emails related to the back and forth nitpicking terminology clauses etc, the older versions of the document, and the copies of affair - related emails she had with ap 1 & 2. It would be hard to argue any duress coercion etc that impact the legitimacy of these contracts in our state. And the state signed determines the applicable laws.

 

Now a couple folks say that if you need one of the you might as well get a divorce. And I would agree 100% if I didn't have kids. Instead I want to be able to tell the kids when they are older that I did everything I could do to try without sacrificing my self respect to try if it fails OR to totally pretend her affair and the postnup didn't exist if it works out. Which is why I don't care if someone else thinks it's pathetic. I don't see myself as weak for wanting to see my kids everyday. And all offerings of reconciliation have strings and conditions to them. Just because this one is in plain sight doesn't make it any different than any of the others.

 

It is really virtually impossible to cover all the factors and nuances of the circumstances, environment, relationship, history, etc that goes into a decision like this in a 4-5 paragraph post talking to strangers on the internet. It seems like a lot of responses are geared towards dismissing the idea. I am here to say that it so far has worked for me in my relationship. We haven't gone through a divorce afterwards to know if it will be set aside or used. But postnups aren't Bigfoot. The do exist. If you look at Google scholar to research the current legal environment and appeals results for your state you'll be more likely to know if it is feasible in the worst case scenario for you. Again it isn't for building trust and isn't for a long term divorce plan.

 

 

I don't think anyone here is saying to dismiss the idea of a post nup. I think it has been said that the choice is very personal for varying reasons.

 

You obviously researched it...felt it was the approach you should take...and followed through with it for your own personal reasons. and that is exactly what you should have done.

[ladydesigner]

Ok I have a question and not sure it would pertain to a Post-Nup... I will be receiving money from an inheritance that I do not want my WH getting his hands on. Is this something that is written into a Post-Nup or is this a separate legal financial matter?

Edited September 19, 2016 by ladydesigner

[GorillaTheater]

Ok I have a question and not sure it would pertain to a Post-Nup... I will be receiving money from an inheritance that I do not want my WH getting his hands on. Is this something that is written into a Pre-Nup or is this a separate legal financial matter?

 

 

It's worth speaking to a lawyer about, or doing your own research, because the laws are going to vary from jurisdiction to jurisdiction. In Texas, for example, an inheritance is and remains separate property so long as it's kept separate and not intermingled with community property. That may not be the case where you're at, and even the nuances may differ.

 

 

Depending on the size of the inheritance, it may well be worth a consultation.

[OneLov]

Generally speaking, inheritance is a gift and thus separate property unless the spouse intended to use the assets for the benefit of the marriage. An exception would be if your relative specifically named your husband. By depositing the proceeds of your inheritance in a joint account is a way to convert separate property into marital property.

 

It comes down to intent. The best advice is to take action that objectively demonstrates your intent to keep the gift(s) separate. Also, it is advisable you consult a local attorney before you receive any rights to your inheritance.