Chad1111 Posted September 16, 2016 Posted September 16, 2016 (edited) Hello everyone, I just joined this site like literally 5 minutes ago, but I'm desperate for advice, so here it goes... I've gotten back into the dating scene after a pretty long hiatus, I met this girl at my job like more then a year ago and over time our relationship started to pick up once I realized we had a mutual interest in eachother I eventually toke her out on a date and we hooked up a couple times after that but it never really progressed any further which really let me down, you see, she's 3 years younger then me me being (20) and her being 17 and kinda already felt pretty stupid getting involved with her in the first place. But she was really interested in me and I was so alone I went along with it, ironically she thought I was younger and I thought she was older but we continued anyway, well at first like I said I was hesitant to get involved but she was the opposite but as time went on I'll be honest and say I started to fall for her but it became a vice versa type of thing where we were just in different parts of life and she's in highschool and I'm in college, even tho I'd do anything to make it work, (which sounds pretty pathetic to me) it just can't. So I went on to match dot com and paid for a 3 month membership and met my current gf on there in like a couple weeks and it was just too easy to get her which was a turn off really I appreciate her affection and love but I don't think I like her as much as she likes me, plus she's nuts. Lol. And I would say I'm in love with the girl before her to be honest hopelessly in love and there's nothing I can do, my current girl is 20 just like me but age doesn't really matter to me anymore, all I do is think about her even tho I haven't talked to her in a month, my mind wonders in class all the time and I can barely pay attention because she's always on my mind and I feel bad about it especially when this new girl says I love you to me and I say I love you too even tho I don't think I really mean it, I don't know what to do I'm lost and hopelessly in love with a girl I can't have. I dream about her all the time, once in a while I dream about my current girl which makes me feel good kinda that my sub conscious thinks about her too, but I know who I really want and who I'd do anything for, I haven't felt this way in years about someone, and I don't know what to do or say, I'm stuck and the situation is much more complex then what I'm saying on here, anyway I'm happy I got to vent this on here, I hope to hear from you guys thank you for reading Yours truly, Chad K Edited September 16, 2016 by Chad1111 1
lovemadefamous Posted September 16, 2016 Posted September 16, 2016 Hi Chad K. Can I just say that the girl you're currently dating deserves better than you? Not to say you're a bad guy or anything, but all good guys put on themselves a stamp of being a jerk by not being honest not only to their women but to themselves as well. No girl in a new relationship can ever hate you for telling her that you're in love with someone else, because she knows that when you're being truthful it means that you don't want to waste her time by being with someone who doesn't love her. As for the high school babe, what you're doing to her ain't fair. Girls are aware when their boyfriends are fighting for them, and you having a new girlfriend makes her aware that you're not armed for the war of love. Thinking of her is not enough, she has to know that you're thinking of her. She might be in high school, but if she loves you the way you love her she might be the one to know how you two can make things work. Talk to her, man. What makes women talk about stuff is that they're great listeners. I hope that helps. 1
Author Chad1111 Posted September 16, 2016 Author Posted September 16, 2016 Well she doesn't know I'm with a new girl, I know she cares about me but like I said I don't think it can work and we both know it, but like I said I haven't felt the way I do about her in years, I feel like if I told her my feelings I'd sound ridiculous at this point, I don't know man 1
smackie9 Posted September 16, 2016 Posted September 16, 2016 Chad...seriously do you not ever think of others rather than yourself? You are cheating on both girls. You are a liar, and you are stringing them along...how fair is that? have some empathy and put yourself in their shoes....how would you like it that a girl you were in love with had another guy she and she was in love with him????? Just be honest with the both of them and dump them. Damn you are so selfish. 2
Redhead14 Posted September 16, 2016 Posted September 16, 2016 Hello everyone, I just joined this site like literally 5 minutes ago, but I'm desperate for advice, so here it goes... I've gotten back into the dating scene after a pretty long hiatus, I met this girl at my job like more then a year ago and over time our relationship started to pick up once I realized we had a mutual interest in eachother I eventually toke her out on a date and we hooked up a couple times after that but it never really progressed any further which really let me down, you see, she's 3 years younger then me me being (20) and her being 17 and kinda already felt pretty stupid getting involved with her in the first place. But she was really interested in me and I was so alone I went along with it, ironically she thought I was younger and I thought she was older but we continued anyway, well at first like I said I was hesitant to get involved but she was the opposite but as time went on I'll be honest and say I started to fall for her but it became a vice versa type of thing where we were just in different parts of life and she's in highschool and I'm in college, even tho I'd do anything to make it work, (which sounds pretty pathetic to me) it just can't. So I went on to match dot com and paid for a 3 month membership and met my current gf on there in like a couple weeks and it was just too easy to get her which was a turn off really I appreciate her affection and love but I don't think I like her as much as she likes me, plus she's nuts. Lol. And I would say I'm in love with the girl before her to be honest hopelessly in love and there's nothing I can do, my current girl is 20 just like me but age doesn't really matter to me anymore, all I do is think about her even tho I haven't talked to her in a month, my mind wonders in class all the time and I can barely pay attention because she's always on my mind and I feel bad about it especially when this new girl says I love you to me and I say I love you too even tho I don't think I really mean it, I don't know what to do I'm lost and hopelessly in love with a girl I can't have. I dream about her all the time, once in a while I dream about my current girl which makes me feel good kinda that my sub conscious thinks about her too, but I know who I really want and who I'd do anything for, I haven't felt this way in years about someone, and I don't know what to do or say, I'm stuck and the situation is much more complex then what I'm saying on here, anyway I'm happy I got to vent this on here, I hope to hear from you guys thank you for reading Yours truly, Chad K Did You Ever Have To Make Up Your Mind Lovin' Spoonful Did you ever have to make up your mind Pick up on one and leave the other behind It's not often easy and not often kind Did you ever have to make up your mind Did you ever have to finally decide Say yes to one and let the other one ride There's so many changes and tears you must hide Did you ever have to finally decide Sometimes there's one with big blue eyes, cute as a bunny With hair down to here, and plenty of money And just when you think she's that one in the world You heart gets stolen by some mousey little girl And then you know you'd better make up your mind... Sometimes you really dig a girl the moment you kiss her And then you get distracted by her older sister When in walks her father and takes you aside And says, "You better go home, son, and make up your mind" And then you bet you'd better finally decide... In other words, grow up and do the right thing before you all get hurt . . . 1
Satu Posted September 16, 2016 Posted September 16, 2016 You remind me of 'The Picture of Dorian Gray' by Oscar Wilde, and thats not a good thing. Take care.
Author Chad1111 Posted September 16, 2016 Author Posted September 16, 2016 Well I guess I am pretty self centered and selfish, and I'm sure she has plenty of other suitors lined up already, what does it matter
Author Chad1111 Posted September 16, 2016 Author Posted September 16, 2016 Girls are way more self centered then guys, they are the heartless ones, I don't know what you're talking about, **** I'm pretty full of myself sure, but don't tell me that most girls:bunny: don't give a dam about a guys feelings
purplesoccer34 Posted September 16, 2016 Posted September 16, 2016 Girls are way more self centered then guys, they are the heartless ones, I don't know what you're talking about, **** I'm pretty full of myself sure, but don't tell me that most girls:bunny: don't give a dam about a guys feelings I don't know how you can generalize. I've been in your current gf's shoes before, and I know how how awful it feels. I would have greatly appreciated it at the time if the guy had just broken up with me, instead of thinking about some other girl the entire time. Meanwhile, I could never even think about doing this to someone, and many of my friends (both male and female) will say the same. If you are still thinking about the high school girl, you are obviously not in love with your current gf. So break up with her, and find someone you are actually in love with (whether that be the hs girl or someone totally different). This way, both of you will be happy. 1
Author Chad1111 Posted September 17, 2016 Author Posted September 17, 2016 Thanks for all the advice guys, I really appreciate it, but let me be clearer about my relationship with the hs girl, so like I said we've know eachother for over a year and only start talking over the last couple months, when we started talking it was going pretty well but we never really broke the ice and what I mean by that is we never talked romantically really it was ackward really, I'd call her beautiful all the time and stuff like that but most of our conversations were small talk and I beaded around the bush a lot with it because of her age even tho I feel like I should of just went for it, anyway after we started making out and kissing I finally thought the ice was broken but instead we didn't talk anywhere near as much and she started acted disinterested, to be honest I think she didn't want to catch feelings and I understand but as time goes on I just feel disappointed and I really think I was falling in love with her is the problem.
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