tomtheman1234 Posted August 10, 2016 Posted August 10, 2016 As the headline said is it really that hard to find love and to date someone in the UK? I live in the UK and am only 5' 6" tall look young for my age and have very mild learning disabilities.
heartfeltlove Posted August 10, 2016 Posted August 10, 2016 The more you perceive and highlight what you think are negatives, the more you will believe they are what holds you back. You consider your height to be a problem. Now apparently you also have 'learning difficulties'. Tell me three wonderful things about yourself, now.
Author tomtheman1234 Posted August 10, 2016 Author Posted August 10, 2016 My smile my eyes my good sense of humour. My don't really worry about my height.
heartfeltlove Posted August 10, 2016 Posted August 10, 2016 But actually, you do. This is the second time you have queried it as a possible problem. Your smile and your eyes are a feature. Tell me three things about YOURSELF which over-ride any negative perceptions you might have. It's those qualities you need to focus on. Emphasise. Accentuate. Promote. Great people always have lovely eyes and a winning smile. What makes you great?
GTR King Posted August 11, 2016 Posted August 11, 2016 (edited) Tomtheman1234: How old are you?? How long have you been single?? Dating in the U.K Is hard.... I have very mild learning disabilities like you (No one can see it) I am 25/26 soon... 23rd August I am 5.8 tall I have been single since I split up with my Bipolar Ex Girlfriend Nearly 3 years ago (Oct 13)... (Break up was mutual) but have dated 3 people since then all less than 2 months... We still talk as friends (When she is not ill) I am like you looking for a nice looking girl with good personality, who is kind caring and funny.. (Must be smoke/Child free) Don't mind small tattoo's but if loads it will put me off I am sure you will find someone who likes you for who you are.... Edited August 11, 2016 by GTR King
Grisho Posted August 11, 2016 Posted August 11, 2016 As the headline said is it really that hard to find love and to date someone in the UK? I live in the UK and am only 5' 6" tall look young for my age and have very mild learning disabilities. UK is far too broad. Which country? Which city?
Grisho Posted August 11, 2016 Posted August 11, 2016 He might be from the uk... like me You're from a country called England.
GTR King Posted August 11, 2016 Posted August 11, 2016 Yep we are but dating is hard in England unless your 10/10 or in a massive group of friends
dubliner Posted August 21, 2016 Posted August 21, 2016 Yep we are but dating is hard in England unless your 10/10 or in a massive group of friends UK is no harder than anywhere else, but you've got to put yourself out there. You don't need a massive group of friends or to be perceived as stereotypically 'perfect'. In fact 'perfect' people are no more likely to be approached by others, the majority of us humans are far from 10/10! You're like a shop window selling your best qualities, no one will see them if you push all your negatives to the front of the store. Go out, go for a walk, talk to people, go for a drink, pop into town and get a coffee, volunteer in your spare time, get the bus, interact with people, take a class, attend events you enjoy. There's always something going on somewhere where you might meet someone, and when you do, be brave, say hello, start a conversation. Where you live doesn't matter, unless it's a remote island with a small population, what matters is whether or not you build obstacles and walls around you.
Author tomtheman1234 Posted August 30, 2016 Author Posted August 30, 2016 Long story short. I am a young looking 40 year old bloke with a very mild learning difficulty so have found life and dating a bit of a struggle. I was on a few Internet dating sites a few years ago when lived near to London but no one really got in touch with me so gave up Internet dating. Tried dating people with learning difficulties but they were not on my wave length I even tried a matchmaking site not much luck there really. Anyhow I have since moved to Cornwall for a more chilled out life by the sea and seem to fit in much better down here. A new friend of mine who like me has just moved to Cornwall was telling me about how he just joined this dating site and got a date from it and how the 2 of them are getting on really well. So I thought I would give Internet date another try. For the first time ever I have been chatting to a few ladies from the site and I have even been on a date with a lady I met on line. Ok so it took her a week to get round to letting me know that I was not right for her and I had already thought as much so had moved on but still. I am also hoping that I have a date with someone else at the weekend. Been chatting to 4 or 5 ladies for a bit who all seem nice. One in particular is really nice and I ended up telling her I have a learning difficulty. I also was meant to meet up with one today but she blew me out so that's off. Anyhow do you think a bloke with a mild learning difficulty who looks young for his age and is only 5' 6" tall and not got a high powered job and not had much luck in the dating game can find love with a lady who dose not have a learning difficulty. As I am fed up with going on far to many first dates with people that I like that don't want a second date? One last thing what are ladies looking for in a man? I am just scared that I go in a date with one of theses ladies and they decide I am not right for them and so don't get a second or 3rd date.
morrowrd Posted August 30, 2016 Posted August 30, 2016 you need to stop defining yourself as a man with "learning disabilities" - get that out of your vocabulary. ALL of us have things about ourselves that are weaknesses, and we deal with them, adapt to them. Leave that part out of your introduction/s and start focusing on who you really are, and how you live your life. You'll probably find you'll be more successful.
Gr8fuln2020 Posted August 30, 2016 Posted August 30, 2016 (edited) Long story short. I am a young looking 40 year old bloke with a very mild learning difficulty so have found life and dating a bit of a struggle. I was on a few Internet dating sites a few years ago when lived near to London but no one really got in touch with me so gave up Internet dating. Tried dating people with learning difficulties but they were not on my wave length I even tried a matchmaking site not much luck there really. Anyhow I have since moved to Cornwall for a more chilled out life by the sea and seem to fit in much better down here. A new friend of mine who like me has just moved to Cornwall was telling me about how he just joined this dating site and got a date from it and how the 2 of them are getting on really well. So I thought I would give Internet date another try. For the first time ever I have been chatting to a few ladies from the site and I have even been on a date with a lady I met on line. Ok so it took her a week to get round to letting me know that I was not right for her and I had already thought as much so had moved on but still. I am also hoping that I have a date with someone else at the weekend. Been chatting to 4 or 5 ladies for a bit who all seem nice. One in particular is really nice and I ended up telling her I have a learning difficulty. I also was meant to meet up with one today but she blew me out so that's off. Anyhow do you think a bloke with a mild learning difficulty who looks young for his age and is only 5' 6" tall and not got a high powered job and not had much luck in the dating game can find love with a lady who dose not have a learning difficulty. As I am fed up with going on far to many first dates with people that I like that don't want a second date? One last thing what are ladies looking for in a man? I am just scared that I go in a date with one of theses ladies and they decide I am not right for them and so don't get a second or 3rd date. First of all, let's remain realistic. There is nothing more debilitating than going into something with FALSE confidence... On the dating site, do you have it clear that you are 5'6? That you have a learning disability/difficulty? As for the former, that must be in there. As for the latter, why put it in there UNLESS this learning difficulty is OBVIOUS. Is it obvious? From your writing, it doesn't seem like you do. What is this learning difficulty? What kind of job do you do where your learning difficulty doesn't intefere? Edited August 30, 2016 by simpleNfit
Author tomtheman1234 Posted August 30, 2016 Author Posted August 30, 2016 No I have not put it on my profile that I have a learning difficulty but yes I did put down my height on my profile. I only told one person about my learning disability as we were getting on so well and I really fancy her and we seen to both be on the same wave length that's all. sorry was just exited and scared of what maybe or mayb not happen that's all.
Larryville Posted August 30, 2016 Posted August 30, 2016 Anyhow do you think a bloke with a mild learning difficulty who looks young for his age and is only 5' 6" tall and not got a high powered job and not had much luck in the dating game can find love with a lady who dose not have a learning difficulty. As I am fed up with going on far to many first dates with people that I like that don't want a second date? Let me be blunt because I see so many of these threads where people ask basically “is there someone out there for me?” Ask yourself why would someone want you? That’s the things when we put ourselves out there yes we put all of our attributes out there, height, income, education, background and we ALL expect to just get swept up but nobody looks in the mirror and asks themselves “what do I bring to the party?” We are all selfish to a degree who we choose has a lot to do with what will the person do to enhance our lives? Good sex, money, status, potential long term mate… dad or mom, well-traveled, good conversationalist? Bottom line is you MUST sell yourself but the thing is you don’t think highly of yourself... There is nothing more debilitating than going into something with FALSE confidence... It is said by many of the ladies here all the time. A woman can sniff out a man who lacks self-confidence from a mile away. Low self-esteem is NOT sexy or attractive in any way. Women will avoid you like the plague… its genetics.
Author tomtheman1234 Posted August 30, 2016 Author Posted August 30, 2016 I don't have low self of steam. If I gave that impression then that's wrong I was just wondering a few things as been out of the dating game for a bit that's all. I am in the best space I have been in some time. So all is good and I feel ready to start dating g again.i just tend to over think things as some things in life have not quite fine my way not fault of mine but that's life.
Larryville Posted August 30, 2016 Posted August 30, 2016 Ok TTM, why did I say you lacked self-esteem? YOU SAID: 40 year old bloke with a very mild learning difficulty so have found life and dating a bit of a struggle. but no one really got in touch with me so gave up Internet dating Tried dating people with learning difficulties but they were not on my wave length tried a matchmaking site not much luck there One in particular is really nice and I ended up telling her I have a learning difficulty. Why!? but she blew me out so that's off. Anyhow do you think a bloke with a mild learning difficulty who looks young for his age and is only 5' 6" tall and not got a high powered job and not had much luck in the dating game can find love what are ladies looking for in a man? I am just scared that I go in a date with one of theses ladies and they decide I am not right for them and so don't get a second or 3rd date. Then you respond with this: I am in the best space I have been in some time. So all is good. So which is it? Are you good or not? When folks comment we can only go by what you post
Author tomtheman1234 Posted September 11, 2016 Author Posted September 11, 2016 Was on Internet date some years ago had no success. As moved to a new area in the UK I have re-joined an Internet site about a month or so ago. I am finding it very hot and miss. Just wonder what people's thoughts are with Internet dating and how many people have had success with it and how many people have bad bad luck with it?
Gr8fuln2020 Posted September 11, 2016 Posted September 11, 2016 Was on Internet date some years ago had no success. As moved to a new area in the UK I have re-joined an Internet site about a month or so ago. I am finding it very hot and miss. Just wonder what people's thoughts are with Internet dating and how many people have had success with it and how many people have bad bad luck with it? You should do a search on the subject here on LS. Tons of opinions, results. 1
Gaeta Posted September 11, 2016 Posted September 11, 2016 I was online 3,5 years. Met close to 200 men before meeting my boyfriend. Yes it works if you have patience, have a tough skin and are goal oriented. 1
Gr8fuln2020 Posted September 11, 2016 Posted September 11, 2016 I was online 3,5 years. Met close to 200 men before meeting my boyfriend. Yes it works if you have patience, have a tough skin and are goal oriented. ....and relatively good looking!
BaileyB Posted September 11, 2016 Posted September 11, 2016 Nope. Not much choice where I live. And, I got tired of fielding the inappropriate and disrespectful messages from men. Not for me, at all...
Gr8fuln2020 Posted September 11, 2016 Posted September 11, 2016 I was online 3,5 years. Met close to 200 men before meeting my boyfriend. Yes it works if you have patience, have a tough skin and are goal oriented. In reality, your success of "meeting" people has A LOT to do with your appearance. Gaeta MUST be a HOT lady to get that many dates within this period of time! Also, yes, LOCATION LOCATION LOCATION.
CarrieT Posted September 11, 2016 Posted September 11, 2016 I was online 3,5 years. Met close to 200 men before meeting my boyfriend. Like Gaeta, I was online for a little over three years, had hundreds of convos and went on almost a hundred coffee meet-and-greets. And then I even started a thread about having possibly met Mr. Right in October of 2011. We married in 2013 and will be celebrating our third anniversary this year. 1
Sunfl0werGirl Posted September 11, 2016 Posted September 11, 2016 I've gotta agree about location, location! lol Im in a *very* rural area. Im fairly pretty. Smart. Educated. But I get dozens of messages a week, and go on a date a week, if Im lucky. However, even still, I've had several second dates, and even a couple of thirds in the year Ive been on. I also wrote my profile in such a way that I primarily seem to have professional, intelligent men responding. So that narrows my field too. Honestly, were it not for online, I wouldn't be dating at all. Just the demographics of where I live...
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