kendahke Posted September 10, 2016 Posted September 10, 2016 His new nickname for me is now "fatass" I'm thinking he's a little immature and doesn't realise he can be offensive. And maybe he is a bit of a "lad" or "bro" I will go on one date and see how he is on the date. It will be in public, so I feel like I might as well give it one chance. If not I'd be wondering what if. He is really funny usually and always joking around. Therefore I think it could just be his soh. You really need a boyfriend, huh? 5
kendahke Posted September 10, 2016 Posted September 10, 2016 Yes. I've had it said to me on a first meeting when I was trying to find the word to describe a shoe I was talking about. For the life of me, I couldn't think of the word "Hiking shoe" to describe the type of material used that won't show a lot of scuffing (he was looking at shoes and wanted to buy a pair of sneakers/trainers, but didn't want a pair that would scuff easily). When I saw the material on a different style of shoe, I picked it up and said "this is what I mean". The shoe was clearly not one for a guy in his 60's-it was a youthful design. He said "what? Are you kidding me? I"m not going to wear that shoe. I ought to knock you out for suggesting it". I said "eff you" and walked away, blocking his number before I got to the car. When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time. And that all happened after having witnessed him say some disgusting, racist crap to the asian waitress at a Japanese restaurant and then insulting the salesgirl at the shoe store by asking her why she was wearing a weave. He was absolutely uncouth and needed to be left in the gutter where he belonged.
LD1990 Posted September 10, 2016 Posted September 10, 2016 "So, how did you two meet?" "Well, it was actually online, then I gave him my number and he regaled me with stories of his greatness while nicknaming me fatass. He really swept me off my feet." You must be extremely patient because that douchey frat boy attitude of his sounds so annoying. Where's he gonna take you on your date, a kegger? 2
OnlyHonesty Posted September 10, 2016 Posted September 10, 2016 This is a classic case of negging and other PUA tactics. The reason why he does it is because it works. If he was some nice guy sending you flowers and calling you his fluffy pink water melon instead of ''fatass'', you'd be yawning into your LCD already and on the hunt for something more interesting. Every single nice guy Ive ever known is invisible to the opposite gender and every single guy like the one in this forum post isn't.
Author Confusedovo Posted September 10, 2016 Author Posted September 10, 2016 Kendhake, haha a bit rude. No I don't really need a boyfriend . I would like a boyfriend. I just don't see the harm in meeting him for one date and seeing how it goes? Honestly I am asking what is the harm? I'm not stupid, I will meet him in pubic. Onlyhonesty, it's not that I don't like nice guys. It's just that I can't say 100% he's NOT nice yet. Obviously I don't love the way he talks to me, or I wouldn't have posted this thread. However I would rather judge in person. Is that so wrong?
Arieswoman Posted September 10, 2016 Posted September 10, 2016 Oh for crying out loud OP get some self-respect "if you turn up like that, I will punch you no lie. How would you even be able to wash your vagina? Uggh I'll never get an erection again" What sort of guy talks like that to a girl he doesn't know? He's not funny, he's vulgar and nasty. Block him and move on. 8
MidwestUSA Posted September 10, 2016 Posted September 10, 2016 Kendhake, haha a bit rude. No I don't really need a boyfriend . I would like a boyfriend. I just don't see the harm in meeting him for one date and seeing how it goes? Honestly I am asking what is the harm? I'm not stupid, I will meet him in pubic. Onlyhonesty, it's not that I don't like nice guys. It's just that I can't say 100% he's NOT nice yet. Obviously I don't love the way he talks to me, or I wouldn't have posted this thread. However I would rather judge in person. Is that so wrong? Well, since you're going, make sure we get a blow by blow! Try to sneak off to a bathroom during the date and post here. I'm betting it doesn't take him long to use the word fat. Or maybe even vagina. Or slang for it. 3
ChickiePops Posted September 10, 2016 Posted September 10, 2016 Yikes. Well..meet him in public and don't let him bring you any drinks unless you have eyes on it the whole time, because he sounds like the kind of dumbass who relies on roofies rather than charm. 1
Author Confusedovo Posted September 10, 2016 Author Posted September 10, 2016 Chickiepops, the roofies is a bit extreme! He does get women as he is hot! But yes I will definitely be aware in general. We are meeting tonight (Saturday) for a couple of drinks. Well I wont be drinking anyway as i am driving. So just orange juice for me. Then I guess I will have more of a vibe about him. Will keep you all posted.
Toodaloo Posted September 10, 2016 Posted September 10, 2016 Good Luck. I am really not hopeful for this one though. He sounds like bit of an impolite word for penis... I think you need to go to learn the lesson that some guys are just not worth it and insults do not equate to confidence... 2
Lois_Griffin Posted September 10, 2016 Posted September 10, 2016 Chickiepops, the roofies is a bit extreme! He does get women as he is hot! But yes I will definitely be aware in general. We are meeting tonight (Saturday) for a couple of drinks. Well I wont be drinking anyway as i am driving. So just orange juice for me. Then I guess I will have more of a vibe about him. Will keep you all posted. And that's the REAL reason you're willing to overlook what a complete douche bag this guy is. Because he's 'hot.' I'd be willing to bet a week's salary if he were plain as day or downright unattractive, you'd be completely skeeved out by the disgusting things this guy says. 7
elaine567 Posted September 10, 2016 Posted September 10, 2016 He is testing your boundaries and you are accepting it, so he knows you are a bit of a push over. Who on earth would accept some idiot calling them "fatass", apart from a potential doormat and punchbag. He will love that about you. Funny now, not so funny when he turns his "humour" on you in a very nasty way and you are then the butt of his "jokes" HIS confidence will then be riding high, your confidence will hit the floor. He is an uncouth [insert derogatory title of choice]. Do you not think you deserve better? 3
insert_name Posted September 10, 2016 Posted September 10, 2016 And that's the REAL reason you're willing to overlook what a complete douche bag this guy is. Because he's 'hot.' I'd be willing to bet a week's salary if he were plain as day or downright unattractive, you'd be completely skeeved out by the disgusting things this guy says. More than that, OP keeps alluding to his popularity with women (like it is a key factor in her decision making) which, at this point in time, is all in her mind! I wonder how her opinion and decision making would be altered if she were to discover that this guy actually struggles with women and doesn't get many offers?
kendahke Posted September 12, 2016 Posted September 12, 2016 Kendhake, haha a bit rude. His new nickname for me is now "fatass" he said "if you turn up like that, I will punch you no lie. Haha, no... ^^^ THAT is rude. I asked a legitimate question because I can't believe that an intelligent woman with a healthy sense of herself and her worth would give a pass to a stranger who insulted her just because he was good looking. Ted Bundy was good looking, too. You have to know that your esteem is worth better consideration than that. 1
BaileyB Posted September 12, 2016 Posted September 12, 2016 He is rude and crude. No way I would meet this guy! He definitely sounds jaded from OLD. And to be fair, he's probably jaded from OLD because he's had a lot of rejection. And, he's probably had a lot of rejection because he doesn't know when to shut his mouth and he treats women with no respect. He is testing your boundaries and I'm not sure why you are accepting of his behavior. If he thinks he can behave like this before meeting you, I would hate to see how he treats you months or years down the road... Have some self respect OP. This guy is terrible... 1
Author Confusedovo Posted September 14, 2016 Author Posted September 14, 2016 Ok I went on the date. It went soooo well. It was lovely. He was really sweet and a gentleman. He picked me up earlier than we planned,se went for a picnic in the park. Then we went to see a band in the bar. But cause we couldn't talk as it was loud, he asked e to go for a walk with him. We went for a walk. He grabbed my hand and kissed it and we walked hand in hand ≤3 we then sat on a bench and talked for ages. It was so romantic. He asked me a lot of questions about myself, my life, my past. He seems very interested in what my life is. He told me he hadn't felt a connection like this in so long. I feel the same. Absolutely no name calling or immature jokes. We ended the night on a kiss. He is soooo gorgeous, I actually feel a bit intimidated and like he can do better lol but he tells me I'm beautiful and sexy. Monday he surprises me by turning up where I work with flowers! It had a note saying "thanks for the best date I've ever had" then he said he will hang around town until I finish, said to call him. When I finished we went to get dinner at my fave restaurant. I tried to go halves but he insisted no. I did wonder if he would try to get back to my place! But he didn't even hint at it. We have plans again Wednesday evening. He is going to pick me up and he says he has a surprise. He is soo sweet. The immaturity has stopped since our first date. So I'm pretty certain I was wrong about him and I think he now realise he doesn't have to act "bro" with me now. I don't even really wanna talk to the guys, atlough there are a couple I am keeping in light contact with still. I don't really see them going anywhere. So there the happy ending lol.
Sunkissedpatio Posted September 14, 2016 Posted September 14, 2016 Well sincerely all the best. I feel that at the first sing of trouble his disgusting behaviour will rear its ugly head again. I hope I am wrong. 2
BaileyB Posted September 14, 2016 Posted September 14, 2016 Glad you are excited and hope it works out for you. A little concerned that he is moving really fast... Always beware men who come on strong and tell you you are beautiful/sexy, they feel an instant connection, and tell you that this is the best date he's ever had... He sounds like he is love bombing a little bit... And, I would not be surprised to see the immature behavior come back at some point. You will see... 3
Author Confusedovo Posted September 14, 2016 Author Posted September 14, 2016 I will try to make sure it doesn't go too fast. And if he starts with the "fatass" etc this time I will tell him I don't like it. Thanks 1
BaileyB Posted September 14, 2016 Posted September 14, 2016 That's good to hear. Take care and best of luck!
BlueIris Posted September 14, 2016 Posted September 14, 2016 Of course it was the punching thing that bothers me the most. I mean has a man ever said that to anyone here??? Never. I'm 56. If he thinks it's funny, he lacks intelligence to actually be funny-- in other words, he's dumb. Dumb + violent is the worst. You know what they say, "When people tell you who they are, believe them." 3
elaine567 Posted September 14, 2016 Posted September 14, 2016 Sounds like he is now "love bombing", be very careful. 3
GemmaUK Posted September 14, 2016 Posted September 14, 2016 Sounds like he is now "love bombing", be very careful. 100% I give it 3 months absolute maximum until he is back to his old self and the OP is pushing her gut instincts back under the carpet. 2
kendahke Posted September 14, 2016 Posted September 14, 2016 All of life is about balance. As far as he swings into sweet is how far he swings into nasty. 1
kendahke Posted September 14, 2016 Posted September 14, 2016 I will try to make sure it doesn't go too fast. And if he starts with the "fatass" etc this time I will tell him I don't like it. Thanks Prepare yourself for gaslighting. 1
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