This shouldnt be rocket science

[amiller321]

They say when a guy likes a girl, it is not rocket science. Currently I am in a situation where I have feelings for a guy, but I am getting mixed signals. I met him in the fall of 2015 and we didn't get close until early 2016. He was in my circle of friends so I would see him pretty much see him at least once a week if not more. We are pretty close, we both talk about pretty much anything, from teasing to deep meaningful conversations. Yes we have made out, held hands, cuddled on the couch, reached 3rd base, and had sex (a few times). Then he was kind of distancing himself a little bit, like not texting me as much, or not even start conversations.

 

Then in the beginning of the summer, I visited them one last time before I went home in the Bay so I can take off for Peru. He was happy to see me and he was back to teasing me again, he also asked when I would come back and what not (probably just to be nice). So I studied abroad in Peru for 5 weeks and he would be one of the first people to see my snapchat stories. Then he messaged me asking if he could stay at my apartment for summer class (We are both from the same area and his lease expired, I am one of the few people to meet his parents), so I let him.

 

During the 3 weeks he stayed he would constantly playfully tease me, take and hide my phone charger in his hand, tickle and sit on me, exit out my netflix, change clothes in front of me (like he would change his pants and his shirt in front of me) and also would talk about lifting and bulking up gym etc. There would be times where I would catch him glancing at me a few times, like this one time I came back from the gym in shorts and a sports bra and I caught him looking at me a few times.

 

During those times we find ourselves making out with each other, 3rd base, and finally home run (he said that it was the best he ever felt and he was really turned on). He seemed to be the one to initiate the make out sessions more than I did to be quite frank. Finally when he left to go home in the Bay, he gave me a pretty long hug compared to the rest of the people he said bye to.

 

So here is where I am confused. In the Spring, he said he viewed me as a little sister, but what guy would make out, spoon, have sex and intercourse, and say their little sister is hot, attractive, and sexy ( he said I was those things a few times, but still)? He doesn't text/call me or like any of my social media I post, however he texts his big sis (in Greek) all the time and hangs out with her all the time (not all night only for a few hours though, plus she also has a bf) and my big sis ( in Greek, then again they've known each other for 4 years) and in case you were wondering, I am his little sis in the Greek sorority system and he is my big bro in the Greek fraternity system ( we are not actually related). He teases me all the time and we have deep conversations, but I don't know if he is doing it to be nice or if he actually sees something with me. He doesn't really talk about hooking up with other girls around me and he is hardly on his phone when he is with me. Then again I feel with my big sis and his big sis he talks more about hooking up with girls. One night we had a deep conversation and he flat out said he has a lot of respect for me and that I am one of the closest people to him. Like I said a guy liking a girl should not be rocket science since a guy will do whatever they can to always communicate with the girl they like. So I need help in where he stands and if I should waste my time.

[bummer]

In the Spring, he said he viewed me as a little sister, but what guy would make out, spoon, have sex and intercourse, and say their little sister is hot, attractive, and sexy ( he said I was those things a few times, but still)?

 

A horny older brother gym bro would do that.

 

Age is important. I assume you're 2 years younger and impressionable and he's fairly attractive. He's just being a frat guy. You know, doing frat guy things that frat guys do when they are young and fratty? Make sense? Not rocket science.

[Larryville]

but I am getting mixed signals

 

We are pretty close, we both talk about pretty much anything, from teasing to deep meaningful conversations. Yes we have made out, held hands, cuddled on the couch, reached 3rd base, and had sex (a few times).

 

hen he was kind of distancing himself a little bit, like not texting me as much, or not even start conversations.

 

In the Spring, he said he viewed me as a little sister, but what guy would make out, spoon, have sex and intercourse,

 

Someone said in a thread earlier this week that rings real true.

 

THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS MIXED SIGNALS

 

Either a dude is into you or NOT.

 

I’m sorry I forgot who posted but simple and true.

 

Your post is ridiculously contradictory

 

You say you two are all intimate yet dude says you are like a little sister. I don’t know how big can a red flag get.

 

So I need help in where he stands and if I should waste my time.

 

He said you were like a little sister and you don’t know the answer to your own question?

If you don't know the obvious answer then YOU have a much bigger problem.

[Satu]

He's not into you in the way you would like him to be.

 

You're a nice young woman who's into him and offering no strings attached sex.

 

He likes that.

 

He likes you, but not in the way you would like him to.

 

 

Take care.

Edited September 8, 2016 by Satu